No, I’ve never taken food in with me to the bathroom, but yeah, I’d say the weirdest thing I’ve taken in is my laptop. Is that really any weirder than taking a magazine in there? Soon there’ll be no such thing as print media and THEN where will we be? That’s right, IMing, Skyping, Twittering from our laptops while on the throne. Who’s with me?

By the way, Follow me so you can keep track of how many times I go to the bathroom every day!

WOOO, a chance to use my pee and poop tags again. Feels like it’s been a while. Don’t anyone dare make that association with Chinese food though, cuz Chinese food’s the greatest thing in the world to me, yes it is. The joke just happened to be there, though. No I’m not proud.

The Monkey King is a traditional folk hero in Chinese culture, and one of the stars of Gene Yang’s American Born Chinese, a terrific graphic novel that I can’t say enough about. In fact, I’m just gonna point you to Fleen’s glowing review of it, which is basically how I feel. Oh yeah, it’s also the first graphic novel ever to be nominated for the National Book Award. Do yourself a favor and pick yourself up a copy!

Does naked Barbie make this NSFW?

Does naked Barbie concern my wife and family? Hey, it’s not my fault those tiny clothes are so hard to put on. Never mind what they were doing off in the first place.

I can say, though, that I have a newfound respect for the resilience of little girls. Squeezing Barbie into those impossibly small tops, and those miniature mini-skirts, and those microscopic little shoes, is even harder than dressing real-life 5-month-old babies. And I should know, as the only grown man in the world who does both.

Now that I have a job I sleep in on vacation days. Ha!

First of all, the premiere of the Cartoon Network’s Robot Chicken last night was pretty sweet. It’s basically Twisted Toyfare Theatre with A.D.D., on speed. The girl in charge of the unofficial fan site iheartrobotchicken.com wrote me for a link exchange and said she loves aLp; not sure exactly how she found about me, but cool.

Furthermore, in a pretty absurd coincidence, in Friday’s post I mentioned that I need to get hooked up with Seth Green somehow cuz I need to work for that show. Well, Sunday night Paris Hilton’s T-Mobile Sidekick was hacked and her address book and camera-phone pictures were posted on the internet. That story in itself is all kinds of ridiculous – Paris having still more naked pictures spread around the net… and who the hell takes naked pictures of themselves with their camera-phones — but the most ridiculous part is that Seth Green’s phone number is on there.

And no, I’m not gonna call him since he’s probably pissed off at all the other prank calls he’s getting.

My mom was never this mean about the fact that I was paying a small nation’s GNP to rent a place the size of a matchbook on the Upper West Side. But she couldn’t have been that thrilled. My place had charm (yadda yadda) and it was in a prime location (yadda), and although there was only like 10 square feet to move around in, it had very high ceilings, because the one kind of space Manhattan has plenty of is vertical. So what if we had to walk single-file into the living room, or if we had to sleep standing up. We could juggle real high, and hang all the mobiles we wanted.

Some post-Halloween notes:
I missed out on the openings of Saw and The Grudge this weekend so I might just take in a matinee today – yeah this is the stuff I can pull without a day job. If neither works for me, I still have Doom 3 – the scariest video game ever made. I didn’t mention it in my previous post about this subject, but this classic of a game gives me the chills like no movie ever has – especially when I play it at 3 in the morning, with the lights off, in my underwear. I love this game so much I have stopped playing it for now, just so it’ll last longer, no joke.