Speaking of God. It’s snowing AGAIN in New York. Okay, we GET IT already Dude. It’s like He spilled some orange juice on His weather machine, stickin’ all the keys together, and He’s like mashing on the keyboard trying to fix it. Just hit CTRL-ALT-SPRING already. Please.

So we’re all the way up to #2 on BuzzComix as of this morning, which is mind-boggling. In addition to all you guys, I have Brianna, aka Bri-Chan, to thank for givin’ me such a sick fan art piece (this is a direct link to the full-sized version, previously unlinked) for a vote incentive. Go check out her deviantART gallery for more great stuff.

One night my freshman year roommate Jeff stumbled back to our dorm room and said he thought he’d passed out earlier and that there was like an entire 3-hour chunk of time that night that he couldn’t remember. After he collapsed into bed, lights out, I strolled over to my R.A.’s room and we filled out an R.A. incident report together that said Jeff had been belligerent, destructive of property, and had threatened other people on our hall with a broken beer bottle. I put it in our mailbox and the next morning Jeff bought it; he was completely freaking because we’d written that he was to be reviewed for suspension. After we let him in on the joke, he hit me so hard that there was a 3-hour chunk of time that I didn’t remember that day.

You guys pull any good pranks on your roommate(s)?

An even more special treat of a vote incentive for ya today: an amazing fan art from Brianna, a.k.a. Bri-Chan, an art student out in SF. She’s got flat-out ludicrous skills; the piece has to be seen to be believed. Vote for aLp on buzzComix to check it out. Thanks, Brianna, I’m not worthy.

I hope you get this one.

Okay well, time for a special vote incentive. A month ago I alluded to the fact that at one point in my life I thought I was gonna be an animator. I got an MFA from the School of Visual Arts here in NYC, and my thesis was a two-and-a-half minute short film entitled, “How Come You Never Call”. My mom always gave me a hard time for not calling her once a week, and this was my response. It’s a comedy, but it’s not actually all that funny. I think it’s cuz I basically made it up as I went along, kinda like animator’s improv. Ah well, I hope it’s fun to watch anyway. Take a quick sec to vote for aLp and download the film (QuickTime required).

This guy is actually not naked; he’s got pants that I can’t take off. How often do you hear THAT line, huh?

Speaking of which, Google Image Search is a godsend in doing aLp. If I need a prop for an episode, I just run a search and bam, it brings up dozens of thumbnailed options for me to choose from. What’s entertaining, though, and sometimes altogether scary, is all the “extra” stuff that comes up in the most seemingly innocuous searches (with SafeSearch off, of course). I find myself wading through porn, gay porn, Star Trek porn, you name it, I click on it. Er… I mean, I wade through it. Side note – I find it interesting that I consider a picture of a naked woman as “porn”, and a picture of a naked man as “gay porn”, and not “porn for women”.

I’ve now beaten Seinfeld and Friends to be the first to show a black guy.

This black guy is actually the Space Jam figure of Charles Barkley, which looks more like Louis Gossett Jr. to me. It’s not easy to find semi-normal black action figures that aren’t Mr. T. I don’t lose sleep over that, but something that does bother me is they don’t make action figures of regular-looking women. Every female action figure out there is either Barbie, or a nasty super-villainess with a mask and a spandex costume, or a manga-style school girl with enormous eyes, enormous breasts and a tiny skirt. Whatever happened to the girl next door?

Now that I have a job I sleep in on vacation days. Ha!

First of all, the premiere of the Cartoon Network’s Robot Chicken last night was pretty sweet. It’s basically Twisted Toyfare Theatre with A.D.D., on speed. The girl in charge of the unofficial fan site iheartrobotchicken.com wrote me for a link exchange and said she loves aLp; not sure exactly how she found about me, but cool.

Furthermore, in a pretty absurd coincidence, in Friday’s post I mentioned that I need to get hooked up with Seth Green somehow cuz I need to work for that show. Well, Sunday night Paris Hilton’s T-Mobile Sidekick was hacked and her address book and camera-phone pictures were posted on the internet. That story in itself is all kinds of ridiculous – Paris having still more naked pictures spread around the net… and who the hell takes naked pictures of themselves with their camera-phones — but the most ridiculous part is that Seth Green’s phone number is on there.

And no, I’m not gonna call him since he’s probably pissed off at all the other prank calls he’s getting.

Robot Chicken is a new Adult Swim show on the Cartoon Network debuting this Sunday, Feb. 20 at 11:30pm ET. It’s a stop-motion-animated sketch comedy show that uses action figures, co-created by Seth Green, and it looks awesome. I need to work on that show somehow, either as an animator or a writer, or both. Is anyone out there pals with Seth? Can anyone hook me up with anyone involved with that show? Post on the Adult Swim boards or something, mention my site. Remember, we had a deal that you can’t say anything but “http://alienlovespredator.com” for this whole month.

By the way, while looking up Seth on imdb.com, I came across this actress. I find her page hilarious. Especially cuz I distinctly remember that part she played in Total Recall.

Speaking of selling your body on eBay. This is old news, but back in January there was this dude who sold the use of his forehead as ad space for $37,000. Well, I just wanted to throw some links at you of people who are copycatting, as was inevitable. Link link link link link link.

Hey I wanna get in on this too. How ’bout I pay one of you to go a week where you can’t say anything but my URL. At work, on the phone with your mom, at the bar, in bed. If you sneeze or burp, you must sneeze or burp my URL. Also all your emails must contain nothing but my URL. All the better if you work as a spammer. Now that’s advertising!

True story that happened on Wednesday. My wife got home from work and found that our car was gone, it wasn’t where she parked it on the street. Turns out they were filming that NBC show Third Watch on our block and wanted the space, so they towed our car somewhere else nearby. Then it turns out when they took her to the supposed new spot, it wasn’t there. Then it turns out that they’d apparently moved our car in front of a hydrant so it got a ticket and the city towed it away. Then, a Third Watch crew guy says to my wife, well, I guess you have to call the city to find out where it is. She put him in a headlock until he pointed to us to someone more helpful.

This other crew member, Lynn, found out that our car was at the tow pound at the Navy Yard, a 5-minute drive away, and when I got home it took her another 20 minutes to arrange for this other guy Steve to give me a ride there so I could claim it. When we got there, they wouldn’t let Steve in to the office, so he waited outside and said he would stay to make sure I got my car: “I ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

The tow pound office is a sickeningly depressing place, just imagine a trailer parked in the middle of a big lot on a deserted edge of Brooklyn, at 8 o’clock at night, where people are lined up to pay a $185 tow fee, not including their original parking ticket, to reclaim their towed cars. There was this Chassidic Jew who was pacing back and forth, muttering, “Suckers! What suckers! They’re all suckers!” … that was interesting.

Fortunately the lady was able to clear up all the charges and the ticket for me, and they took me to my car. When I got back out on the street, Steve was gone. When I got back to my street where they were filming, Steve said Lynn told him not to wait, and Lynn said some bullshit about a misunderstanding. By this time it was late, I was tired, I’d wasted 2 hours on this shit because of the idiot crew of this crappy show, and worst of all, the diner I was gonna have dinner at had closed by then. Trying to help me feel better, Lynn offered me some food from the catering tent. At least I had the last word, because I cleaned them OUT. They’re all suckers

So don’t watch Third Watch. Not like any of you did anyway.

Happy Chinese New Year! This year is the Year of the Rooster, or the Year of Karaoke, according to the little picture on the left. In the Chinese zodiac the year you were born determines what kind of animal you are; visit this page to find out which one’s yours, and what your lifelong horoscope is. I’m a Tiger cuz I was born in 1974, and according to that page, I should “beware of the Monkey” – sage advice no matter what the context.

Incidentally, sometimes this is referred to as the Year of the Cock. Normally I like to think I keep my dirty humor at least a little sophisticated, but try reading the paragraph about the Cock Year here without chuckling. It also helps if you note that that website is a gay one. (Link is safe for work)

Page 3 of the Claw and Jumpman bonus comic is available… Inviso-Tron attempts to flood New York City and set off a nearby volcano! Check it out by voting for aLp, thanks…