Sinead O’Connor came out of the closet in 2000. But ten years earlier, she released her breakthrough album, called “I Do Not Want What I Haven’t Got”. DO THE MATH

I’m gonna take Tuesday (the 26th) off, but I’ll see you again on Friday! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

This is the second punchline I’ve “re-purposed” from Cheers. Can you tell me which is the first? First one to find it, and tell me the contexts in which both that one, and today’s were used on the show in as much detail as possible, wins a free t-shirt. Post your answers in the comments thread below.

Good luck to all you last-minute suckers! Er, shoppers. I meant shoppers!

New York City passes trans fat ban

Smoking was banned in NYC restaurants and bars three years ago, in large part due to the dangers of second-hand smoke to bartenders and other servers, and I was totally in favor of that decision. But I need my Popeye’s fried chicken and McDonald’s french fries (incidentally, see the first two photos in the article linked above)! Also, what’s this about them threatening to force restaurants to print nutritional info on their menus? There’s no way I’m gonna eat another sack of White Castles if I knew exactly what was in ‘em. The whole point of eating out is to eat what you want and not give a damn about what’s in it.

And there goes the conscious decision I’m made to eat like crap while I’m still young and can take it. I’ve always been a 32 waist; well I’m still a 32 waist, except unbuttoned now. So I can make my own choices, thank you very much Board of Health.

FIIIIIIRE

Okay that’s all I got for now.

The song Abe references in panel 3 is either, depending on your perspective, Busta Rhymes’ Dangerous, or the old drug-safety PSA from the ’80s that Busta paid homage to. This was my #1 favorite TV commercial growing up, and after much scouring of the internet, I proudly present it to you in audio form:

not_candy.au

… and in video form, although tragically it’s an abridged version of the original. If anyone can track me down a video of the full version of the commercial, I’ll send you a free t-shirt.

Speaking of the t-shirt, there’s still time to order some swag from the aLp Shop and get it in time for Christmas! Give the gift of platonic extra-terrestrial inter-species love in a contemporary setting to someone you love.

And speaking of Christmas, Penny Arcade’s Child’s Play charity, which distributes toys to sick kids in hospitals for the holidays, is going strong again this year and David Malki! is auctioning off a few terrific framed prints to help raise money for it. I just threw in my donation; please think about pitching in too.

Happy December Fool’s Day, people!

I wanted to remind you that: 1) stuff in the aLp shop, like t-shirts, prints and magnets make great Christmas gifts if you roll with one or more fellow aLp fans, and 2) you should order right away to ensure delivery for the holidays! Thanks!

Sorry for all the new ads popping up all over the page, but I’m trying to figure some things out, partly due to the fact that I may be moving to a new host, which may affect my ad situation. So, thanks for bearing with me. I’m giving ads through Project Wonderful at the top of the page a shot, which works on a sweet auction model, where advertisers pay only what they think the spot is worth. As of this writing, there’s spots up there to be had for just 20 cents a day – WOTTA BARGAIN!

Also, check out this “Dateline NBC: To Catch a Predator” spoof.