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  #349     or, start at the beginning with #1... OR try out "The Best Of" on hiatus for now  

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Thursday, June 2nd, 2011, 2:34pm ET

I spent my whole life, up until 2008, being allergic to eggs. When I was like 4, I took an egg in my hand, crushed it – obviously just for fun – and got a rash all over my hand. When I was 8, my older brother was into raw egg shakes for some weird reason, and like an idiot he let me have some and I broke into a huge rash all over my torso.

My mom was always super careful about possible allergens because I had skin problems so at various times she wouldn’t let me eat seafood, dairy, peanuts, dogs, cats, you name it. But she would never believe me when I complained that mayonnaise would bother my throat. She just wrote me off like a bratty kid whining about something I didn’t want to eat. It was only much later, after at least a decade of stunted growth, crippling digestive problems and massacred brain cells that I learned that the mayo I kept eating indeed has eggs in it, so ha, Mom, it looks like I got the last laugh.

Fast forward to November 2008… it was the morning after Barack Obama was elected President of the United States, I was celebrating with breakfast at IHOP. Instead of my usual pancakes that I always get, I was in the mood for some hope and change, so I just decided to order a big-ass THREE-EGG OMELETTE. It was the most delicious thing I’d ever had, and I didn’t die. Barack Obama cured my allergy to eggs. Praise the Kenyan gods! And so now I’ve got a lifetime of artery-clogging eggy goodness to catch up on. Mmmmmmmm

Yeah I know that pancakes have eggs in them, shut up.

Hope you enjoyed today’s comic, see you next week, egg willing!!

As a reminder, as I said last week: I’ll be cooling it on the big time-traveling storyline for now, and going old school random for a while in order to get back on the comic horse. The storyline was obviously getting a bit too ambitious on both the plotting and art fronts for my own good, and was (not surprisingly) a major reason why I got all messed up and had to take a break again. In retrospect I shouldn’t have tried it in the first place, given my time constraints and my update schedule. But I hope to continue and finish it one day – hope hope – so those of you who were into it, sorry for now, but I’m willing to bet y’all will be happy with whatever has me making comics regularly again.

Comments on this comic (162)
Support aLp yes?   I had one kid too many


This is/was my car. I was driving it, with Elaine in the passenger seat and my kids in their child seats in the back.

EVERYONE’S OKAY – hardly a scratch on any of us. And no one else was involved, thankfully. On Monday, driving home from a really nice holiday weekend with Elaine’s family, I took a curve too fast on the Hutchinson River Parkway a few miles from the GW Bridge, lost control of the car on the wet road and slammed into the highway divider on our left. Both airbags deployed, there was a smell of burnt rubber coming into the car and a little bit of smoke, but no one seemed to be hurt. Adrian and Rachel were both crying, but it was probably because they’d been watching Elmo’s World on their headrest-mounted DVD screens and he went away so suddenly, without saying goodbye. In theory, the biggest fear in a highway accident like this after you come to a stop and you realize everyone’s ok is if someone barrels into you from behind, but in reality you don’t have a lot of time to panic about that because after like 2 seconds, you figure no one’s hit you YET so you’re probably ok. Fortunately that was the case.

In fact the lady in the car behind us stopped, got out to check on us, and stayed with us for 15 minutes while all the emergency crews were arriving. She even helped hold traffic in the lane next to us so I could run over and retrieve our front fender that had gone flying two lanes away and was cutting off traffic in that lane. Absolutely everybody, from the few civilians who stopped to make sure we were ok, to the cops, to the ambulance crew, to the tow truck guy, were all incredibly friendly and helpful, so I give big thanks to all you men and women out there in blue, red, and filthy overalls. You made a bad situation MUCH easier to get through.

As Elaine was expertly calming the kids down, and I was in between talking to the various people explaining what was going to happen, I realized that we had knocked down a pole that was now laying across two lanes of the highway going the OTHER direction, cutting off THOSE lanes. I don’t know how we managed not to cause a big disaster with all this debris flying in different directions, but thank God zero people were hurt. I WAS very self-conscious that they were talking about US on all the Ultra Doppler Copter Jam Cam traffic reports. “There’s a slowdown on the Hutch going BOTH ways because some idiot who hasn’t updated his comic strip in months drives too fast in the rain.”

I’d like to thank Elaine’s sister Amy and our friend Donna who came to support us at the hospital where we were taken just as a precaution, Amy’s husband Duy who left work early and was making calls for us, and especially Donna’s husband Marc who went more than 2 hours out of his way to actually drive us all home. THANKS.

I’m one of those people who gives thanks every day for his family and health. Every single day. So I don’t need something like this, or a holiday like Thanksgiving, to remind me how truly special my life is. But I admit it does make you appreciate everything just a little bit more when you put the two together.

Those of you that drive, DRIVE CAREFULLY. Now, take a moment to acknowledge that that phrase meant practically nothing to you, and think about it for real. DRIVE. CAREFULLY.

About aLp: It’s time for me to make a serious decision about the comic strip, if only for the short term. It’s painfully clear that I can’t make the comic unless I make myself make it, and that means sticking to some sort of schedule… but of course I’m afraid it’d take over my life like it did before. I kinda enjoyed having my life back this year, even though I know it made the site suck for most of it.

But there’s still such a huge amount of you still coming to the site after all this, and that makes me REALLY uncomfortable. Kinda like when I ask my kids, “WHO WANTS TO SING A SONG WITH DADDY?!” and they say, “ME ME ME!!”, and then like I can’t think of a song that’s not Twinkle Twinkle Little Star or the alphabet song. WHICH ARE THE SAME SONG, BTW.

So, when I finish and post the next comic, I’m gonna either announce I’m going back to some sort of regular schedule, or I’m going to give up the strip altogether and come at you with something else. Don’t stick a fork in me yet, however – stay tuned until I make that announcement.

Thanks, as always, for stopping by.


Comments (23)

Elaine, the kids and I were out in California for a family funeral all of last week, and now I’m back just trying to catch up with life. Macy’s keeps calling me to say where’s our money bitch?! and I say we’re not getting the bills in the mail, asscrack! and they say well then pay us now and confirm your address, twatwad! and I say ok now waive that late fee, shitnose! and they do. It’s the truth – we don’t get the bills, so I can’t be expected to pay ‘em, and all the name calling does work every time to avoid paying those fees. But it’s a pain to deal with every other month. You know what I mean, whore-ass?

I’ll get to the comic-doing as soon as I can. I’m amazed that you guys keep coming everyday, at least according to my logs. Thousands and thousands of you. Especially since I just called you “whore-ass”. I owe you guys.

p.s. For clarification, the first 5 words of this post mean “the 4 of us were out in California”; it’s not me telling Elaine that I went and took the kids out to California.

Comments (9)

Bad news everyone… a family emergency has come up so I don’t have the new comic for you that I promised like, twice already. I’m gonna try to have it up next week. I feel bad especially cuz I was going to announce some good news regarding the schedule for new comics going forward, but that’ll have to wait until at least next week.

Have a good weekend…

Comments (5)

My kids wanna wish you a Happy Halloween!


Hey have any of you been to one of these? 13 Haunted Houses That Will Make You Wet Your Pants. #1 on this list is NIGHTMARE: Ghost Stories in Manhattan. It’s running only until this Saturday, and unfortunately I’m not gonna be able to make it but you can sure bet I’m gonna be there next year. You may recall I’m into horror, but horror movies bore me the hell out. This may be the cure! If any of those on the list are in your area, check ‘em out and let me know if you pee your pants or if that’s just false advertising.

I know I said “early this week” for the new comic. I hope you learned your lesson not to trust anything I say anymore. Anyway this time I’m gonna just blurt out a specific day. FRIDAY. Come back on FRIDAY for the next comic, for real.

Comments (2)

(Man, time flies)

Hey guess what? I’m finally crawling out from under the crushing weight that was my latest project at work. It’s finally off the ground, and if you’re curious (and you’re a baseball fan), here it is:

1986: Take Two

We (’ll be re-playing the 1986 baseball season, game by game, using the Strat-O-Matic Baseball Online engine, with 26 prominent members of the media/baseball community managing the original rosters through the original schedule, and basically see what happens. Most notably we’ve got Curt Schilling, he of those cursed World-Series-playin’ Red Sox, managing the ’86 Red Sox, and Baba Booey (Gary Dell’Abate of the Howard Stern show) in charge of the Mets. I’m personally managing the Montreal Expos, bringing some MUCH-NEEDED WEBCOMICS STAR POWER to the mix.

Opening Day is Monday, November 5 (right after the real-life World Series ends), after which we’ll have all the action covered all season long, with daily boxscores, stats, etc. as if it were any real season. Right now we’re running actual articles as they appeared in the original Sporting News magazine from 1986, providing totally awesome, and almost always ironically so, blasts from the past.

If you’re at all a baseball fan, check it out and follow along, it’s gonna be a sweet time.

And for everyone else, now that I’ve gotten this off the ground, I’ve finally got some more free time so I’m gonna be sittin’ down for some serious comic-making. New episode early next week!

Comments (3)

SPX was a hoooot. Thanks to all those of you who came out to say hi – we’ll have to do it again the next time when my throat isn’t killing me.

Special thanks to:

- Chris, my partner in a desperate late night trek for beer through deserted Bethesda, across some scary abandoned train tracks
- Colleen, for the CHEST BUMPS
- Dave, who was sharing my hotel bed with me on Friday night but went to sleep in the closet cuz he wasn’t man enough to handle my snoring
- Nick, for the tip on Paprika. THAT IS ONE TRIPPY MOVIE
- Aaron, whose comic, Dresden Codak, is a rare new must-read
- Ashleigh, for being a devoted fan, buying a t-shirt, and giving me subway fare to DC for the first leg of my trip home
- that girl who gave me some Korean pastries, saving me from certain starvation

Not sure where or when I’m gonna be at a con next, but I hope it’s soon, and somewhere near you!

Comments (2)

So here I am watching the Yankees desperately trying to keep this game against the Indians from getting out of hand in Game 1 of the A.L. Division Series. Cleveland’s batting in the 5th, with a 7-3 lead thanks to 3 runs already in the inning, Lofton’s on 2nd and Gutierrez’s on 1st. This is what literally happens:

“There’s a drive by Blake into the rightfield corner! LOFTON SCORES!! GUTIERRpreviously, on Grey’s Anatomy…”


Comments (5)

So I’m currently suffering the aftermath of one of the two worst database crashes in my job’s history, so things’ve been rough for me the last few days, but I’m taking a short break now.

Someone just told me that there’s an Alien Loves Predator fan group on Facebook that’s got a bunch of members in it already. Just in case any of you Facebookers wanted to join – it’s not like I know what the hell goes on in these groups. Maybe you can be the one to make it awesome! Go on, join the cult (only accessible to Facebook members).

Incidentally, I succumbed to peer pressure and just got a Facebook page of my own. It gives me yet another way I can easily keep in touch with my friends yet fail to follow through. People used to write LETTERS, you know. And use HORSES, or CARRIER PIGEONS, or some other fictional animals to deliver their correspondence. Yet I can’t be bothered to click on my mom’s name and e-mail her that I love her, because that would take my focus away from the YouTube video of real-life Donkey Kong I’m watching.

I’m keeping my Facebook friends list to be only people I actually know, so fair warning: don’t bother sending me a request unless we’ve at least talked before (and I like you). Feel extremely free to friend me on MySpace though – over there I’d like to eventually reach 7 figures.

Exception: Send me a photo of you wearing an official aLp t-shirt and I will TOTALLY Facebook-friend you.

Comments (5)

Hey, so I’m just here to say what you wanted to hear… there’ll be a new guest comic posted this Monday, and then another original comic by me posted around 3 days after that. And then a few more probably in relatively quick succession. Stay tuned…

Comments (6)

Hmmm… some guy edited together some footage from the first AvP movie, put a Dido song under it, and made the trailer for Alien Loves Predator: The Movie.

The interesting part about it is that there’s no mention of aLp: The Comic Strip anywhere on the vid’s YouTube page. I don’t think this dude knows about me. Which tells me that, since two different people independently came up with the same idea… it must be a good one! Finally, validation.

Comments (16)
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Alien vs. PredatorTM © 2008 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. Alien and Predator toys © 2008 McFarlane Toys and TMP International, Inc. Other imagery, concept and writing © 2008 Bernie Hou.