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The World's Worst Roommate, Seriously

 
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Holly Resurrected



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 4:41 am    Post subject: The World's Worst Roommate, Seriously Reply with quote

http://www.thingie.net/writting/what/index.php

I got this link on another messageboard and just had to share it. This is the most insane "roomie from hell" story I've ever heard. It's safe for work, although I maybe should have put this in NSWF just to be safe (for work) because it's really gross. Just a few excerpts:

Quote:
He set fire to our carpet with alcohol during a party. He pissed in the fridge. He shat in the fridge. He shat in the crisper drawer. He shat on the oven top, and instead of cleaning it up, turned on the burner, reasoning that carbon is easier to clean than feces.

He left a dead cat he found somewhere in our oven for a week and forgot about it. I discovered it later.

He owned 6 tarantulas, and would let one run around free-range. He assured me he had "tamed it." I assured him he was a stupid fuckhead.

He never showered.

He sold drugs from his room. He smoked pot with his friends in the common area. He spilled bong water on two of my text books. He and his friends did cocaine off of the television set in the common area.

He had a party to which he invited too many people, and they spilled into my room. Strangers had sex in my room at that party. In my bed. One of them had pubic lice. Someone took a dump in my closet. Someone left a used condom in my slipper. I discovered all of these things after it was too late.

Morning after said party, my mother knocked on the front door, and a stranger from that party answered and immediately threw up on her legs.


Quote:
He got angry at some video game he and his friends were playing in the common area, so he busted into my room while I was sleeping, and punched me in the face and stomach.


Quote:
I prodded it harder and what I can only describe as fecal fluid seeped from the sides of the newspaper. I think he was taking shits in the bathtub and covering it with newspapers, like some kind of foul lasagna.


I would feel seriously sorry for this guy, however he explains why he doesn't just put his foot down and end the situation early on, and that kills it:

Quote:
So, basically, I didn't kick his ass for two reasons: A) I am always law abiding to a fault, and B) The setup I made was really very convenient for me, and made it so I never even had any contact with the guy. It was basically rent-free... I paid $50 a month in rent after all of the deductions for unsanitary conditions and ouster from the common area I made (and documented... and got to keep after the courts got done looking at it...), and I was exiting and entering from an opposite end of the house. Basically, I only really knew what Jed was up to during this period from forensic evidence in the apartment and the accounts of friends, neighbors, and the police.


So because it was cheap and he had a perverse facination with his roomie's mental illness he let it continue until the whole house was literally covered in shit. Oh, and also he's a total wuss.

You just gotta read the whole thing. It reads like a scene from Silent Hill. You really expect a demon or reanimated corpse is going to make an appearance any minute during his account of The Black Time.

*shudder*
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siliconsara



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There was a similar incident on livejournal, but this time it was a mentally ill woman, and this link has PICTURES.

Ok, so instead of opening up a new thread in the NSFW section, I might as well post the link here, so you all have been warned.

THE FOLLOWING LINK HAS PICTURES THAT MAKES GOATSE LOOK LIKE PUPPIES AND KITTENS, YOU MIGHT EVEN THROW UP A LITTLE. I IMPLORE YOU, DO NOT OPEN THE FOLLOWING LINK IF YOU ARE EITHER AT WORK, AT SCHOOL OR IF YOU HAVE A WEAK DESPOSITION.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/shiroioji/114944.html
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Ipsa



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 10:18 am    Post subject: Re: The World's Worst Roommate, Seriously Reply with quote

Holly wrote:

You just gotta read the whole thing. It reads like a scene from Silent Hill. You really expect a demon or reanimated corpse is going to make an appearance any minute during his account of The Black Time.

*shudder*


Agreed. Beware the Shit-Gollum!
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Aelina_Songmaker



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 2:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah. Those two stories are officially THE WORST roomie stories I have ever heard, and I've heard some pretty bad ones.
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 4:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm already packing the canned food. Investing in a truck load of solar panels. Nuclear Bunker (how ironic), weapons, a couple HAZMAT suits. Yep, I'm prepared for the downfall of civilization as we know it.
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Satan Crime Wash



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 5:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:
Yep, I'm prepared for the downfall of civilization as we know it.


It's already happened; haven't you ever heard a Sean Paul record?
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AAATripper



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 10:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No matter the costs, dont live in College dorms. I have been on tours of the best of the dorms and even those are pretty jacked up and feces covered.
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 10:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mr Chainsaw wrote:
Simon_Says wrote:
Yep, I'm prepared for the downfall of civilization as we know it.


It's already happened; haven't you ever heard a Sean Paul record?

Who the fuck is Sean Paul?

Anyways the following events will signal the end of civilization:

Cheap oil dries up. Bush starts using nuclear weapons on Iraq and Afghanistan. Video games with teen, mature, or adult only ratings are banned. Numa-Numa becomes Australia's national anthem. Monty Python's head-bang religion has more followers than Christianity, Judaism, and Islam combined. Bill Gates buys Europe. Paul Martin becomes emperor of Canada. Bricks, Tires, and Cinderblocks are concidered to be citizens in Japan. You can find Isengard on the globe of the world, in Khazakstan. Eve-Online playing becomes a profesion. Star trek becomes reality in Bangledesh and Bangok. Star Wars becomes reality on Skywalker Ranch. Starbucks and McDonalds opens branches in the Vatican. Sperm, Right, and Blue whales start shaving worldwide. Leonardo daVinci is known to be a great anime artist. Mr. Bean and Sean Bean are revealed to be related. Brocolli, turnips, and dog testicles are found to cure cancer. New Zealand develops portable nuke-in-sheep technology. South Africa moves its capital to the ISS. Great Britain becomes All-Powerful Britain. Sonic the Hedgehog is Hawaii's mascot, and Sega creates the Dreamcast 2. Porn, what will be a game in the summer olympics, will be abandoned the following year because Hilary Clinton said it was bad. Man tits are concidered attractive. Radio stations start playing video game music. Microsoft's Windows Vista controls people's minds, and Apple's Ipod G5 controls peoples minds. Microsoft introduces an mp3 palyer, and Apple releases a gaming console. Nintendo survives because of the Nintendo BS. TCOEDAEFTB pictures in Milk Shake continue to be uploaded after 2006. Aramor and Shera get married. Star Wars VII, IIX, and IX are released. America becomes communist, and Russia is a pure Captilist region without government. The Cold War is renamed the Refrigerator Wars. 343 Guilty Spark becomes French Prime Minister. European beer breweries bought by Budweiser. Printer Ink Carteridges become more expensive. Brazils citizens are implanted with a chip the disables prostitution, masturbation, and generally makes them Star Trek humans. Digitaalklosetti posts an avatar with Shatners penis. Florida becomes home to human/alligator hybrids. Scientists reveal condoms don't work. I post one more sign that armeggedon is coming. You actually read all this.
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Holly Resurrected



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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2005 3:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

techno_dracula wrote:
THE FOLLOWING LINK HAS PICTURES THAT MAKES GOATSE LOOK LIKE PUPPIES AND KITTENS, YOU MIGHT EVEN THROW UP A LITTLE. I IMPLORE YOU, DO NOT OPEN THE FOLLOWING LINK IF YOU ARE EITHER AT WORK, AT SCHOOL OR IF YOU HAVE A WEAK DESPOSITION.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/shiroioji/114944.html


The Shay drama got brought up in that thread too. It seems that wherever horrid roommates are discussed there are two names that must always be dropped Smile

Man, any time I think about how it sucked living with my brother I'll have to think of these accounts and thank the Lord that the worst I had to deal with was his slight lack of personal hygene and snoring.
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angelusraptor



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 23, 2005 10:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:
You actually read all this.

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