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Munan
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 3:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aramor wrote:
Shooting the one-shot yoghurt gun.
Consulting with Dr. Yerkovich.
Walking hand in hand with Palmela.
Etc etc...

There's a site somewhere with like a 100 ways to say it.



Are there no female versions of this?
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Holly Resurrected



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

* Applying lip gloss
* Bean flicking
* Beating around the bush
* Breakfast in bed
* Buffing the muffin
* Buttering the whisker biscuit
* Cracking the gash
* Cunt poking (also applies to coitus)
* Date with the four sons of Father Thumb
* Dialing zero on the little pink telephone
* Diddling [the clit]
* Digging a stench trench
* DJ'ing the budgie tongue
* Doing one's nails
* Double-clicking the mouse
* Exploring (one's) hidden depths
* Exploring inner-space
* Exploring the virgin wood
* Feeding the horse
* Fiddling the bean
* Five knuckle shuffle
* Flicking the bean
* Flicking the bic
* Finger attack
* Finger bang
* Finger sex
* Fingering
* Fingerfucking
* Flap Flogging
* Flicking the clit/bead/bean/bud
* Flossing
* Fluttering the fuzz
* Frigging off
* Getting off in the bush
* Gusset typing
* Jacking off Jeremy (or jicking Jack off)
* Jack'n the box
* Jilling off
* Jilling your jollies
* KitKat shuffle
* Nuke, the
* Pawing(off)
* Paddling the Pink Canoe
* Petting the kitty/pussy
* Playing in the petals
* Playing with the little girl/lady/woman in the canoe
* Playing stinkfinger
* Playing the invisible banjo
* Playing with the floodgates
* Plunging the happy hole
* Poking off
* Polishing the pearl
* Pulling the pud (pudendum)
* Raiding the honey jar/pot
* Roaming the damp and tangled wood
* Rub the bean
* Rubbing the monkey
* Rubbin hood (obvious pun on Robin Hood)
* Rubbing off
* Rubbing the front butt
* Rubbing the elf
* Rumble In the Jungle (Also applies to Males)
* She-bopping
* Shocker
* Shlicking
* Siririca (Brazil)
* Smacking the pony
* Spanking the monkey
* Spanking the skunk guts
* Stinky-Pinking
* Stirring the soup
* Stirring the trough
* Stroking the kitty/pussy
* Stuffing the bird
* Taking a long, warm bath
* Tangsturbating
* Tapping the keg
* Tending the axe wound
* Tickling the vertical smile
* Tip-toe through the two lips
* Tipping the velvet
* Touching the hooded monk
* Twirling the pearl
* Two or Three Knuckle Shuffle
* Two finger taco tango
* Two in the pink, one in the stink
* Walking the kitty
* Washing the car
* Waxing the oyster
* Writing (also male)
* Yanking the pump action yogurt tosser

Provided by WikiPedia
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Munan
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My oh my...

And to think I asked for it...

This is going to cause some permanent damage.

*reads more carefully*

Well, some of those are downright poetic....

Quote:
* Tip-toe through the two lips


Wait a minute:

Quote:
*Nuke, the


I figured you out, mr. Simon Says, you naughty Panda Sumarai, you!
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 6:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Those are the ones... I said a 100 ways to say masturbation, not only for males...

Did I say a 100 ways to say masturbation? I'm not sure... and too lazy to check...
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Mighty Lord Aramor


Fail of the day:
Syn wrote:
your balls didn't get suck
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Satan Crime Wash



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 6:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You missed out 'Roughing up the suspect'.
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Munan
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 6:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Roughing up the suspect"?

Everytime you suspect you've hit the bottom, someone has to reveal a hidden depth...

I shouldn't've used the words hidden depth in this context...
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 7:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Funny though, tuesday after my bike got stolen I decided to quit smoking (I got a weird line of thought)... now this may sound a bit weird that "I'm gonna quit smoking, yeah... aren't I cool etc etc" since I only smoke for a month or two now... but combined with this... I need a new addiction I think... how about sex... anybody here wanna have sex with me (and with anybody here I mean the nice ladies, you gentlemen can find someone else Razz)...
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Mighty Lord Aramor


Fail of the day:
Syn wrote:
your balls didn't get suck
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Munan
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 7:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Steady now, boy, you're loosing it. This is not the kind of post we'd expect from you

*slaps Aramor in his face to get some sense into him*
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 8:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You mean the sex part, the stop smoking part, or the part where I tried to be semi-seriuosly?
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Mighty Lord Aramor


Fail of the day:
Syn wrote:
your balls didn't get suck
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 9:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

munan wrote:
Wait a minute:

Quote:
*Nuke, the


I figured you out, mr. Simon Says, you naughty Panda Sumarai, you!


Polishing the Nuclear Missle anyone?
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Satan Crime Wash



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 10:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:
Polishing the Nuclear Missle anyone?


10 seconds till launch.
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 10:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Malfunction! Malfunction! Early Detonation!
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 11:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Exploding in the silo"

Wheeeee!

Anyway, day 4 and I'm still master of my domain.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 12:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Crotchfire wrote:
"Exploding in the silo"

Wheeeee!


Lol.

Pff, I'm beginning to want a cigarette...

Edit: Just a question... is looking at porn long enough for you to ejaculate considered masturbation?
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Mighty Lord Aramor


Fail of the day:
Syn wrote:
your balls didn't get suck
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 3:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Errrrr... iono, how exactly would you do that? Just clenching and unclenching your PC muscle?
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 3:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know... I thought it was worth a try... just stare intensively at a pornographic image or something... or have a lesbian porn movie marathon... I don't know...
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Mighty Lord Aramor


Fail of the day:
Syn wrote:
your balls didn't get suck
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 3:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gah, crap, I'm out. Reset everything. I went three days.

...and yes, it is possible to ejaculate by staring at porno movies and just working the muscles without using hands. I also think it probably counts as masturbation.

I think we should do the contest again, but all starting at more or less the same time on the same day, I'm thinking Monday. Who's in?
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Satan Crime Wash



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 3:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Crotchfire wrote:
Who's in?


I'm in your mom!! ( sorry, somebody had to do it... rather like your mom )

Also how soon was it between your 'reset' and that post. Should we be afraid? There's a new euphemism: Resetting the contest. Or 'crotchfiring' for short.
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 3:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One problem: Noone could provide evidence that they went without masturbation for so and so amount of time. I could easily tell you December 25 I went wankless since last Monday but in reality my hand could be glued to my penis.

No, Digit, or Munan, that is ONLY a hypothetical scenario!
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Satan Crime Wash



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 3:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm somewhat reminded of the IRC log from this episode of BTC.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What a coincidence... I also couldn't restrain myself... guess we gotta start a new Seinfeld Convention...
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Mighty Lord Aramor


Fail of the day:
Syn wrote:
your balls didn't get suck
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sienfeld Convention 2: Attack of the MILFS...
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 5:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, we'll just be going by the honor system. Since this isn't going to be for money anyway, there isn't really much incentive to be dishonest. The whole thing's just for shits and giggles.
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Satan Crime Wash



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 5:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Crotchfire vs Aramor. Round one. FIGHT!!

My prediction: Crotchfire wins, abstentionality.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 6:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, I am so going to not jerk off for a month... it is my duty as the forum whore to win this. Crotchy, you're on!

Mr Chainsaw, you have until the next time Crotchfire masturbates to come up with a good signature that shows how good I am at winning this contest! HA!

Fuck, what the hell did I just get myself into...
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