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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 1:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:
Damn you females! When we try do masturbate, we get this huge effin log in our pants for the world to see! Damnyous! Damnyous all to hell!


Plus the accomponying motion with your arm is a bit... bloody obvious!!!
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Satan Crime Wash



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 1:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:
Damn you females! When we try do masturbate, we get this huge effin log in our pants for the world to see! Damnyous! Damnyous all to hell!


Hmm, didn't he claim to never 'box the bald headed bishop' before?
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Munan
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 2:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:
Aramor wrote:
Holly wrote:
I'm afraid I didn't think to capture it on film, but since we're on the honor system I don't think you really need proof now, do you? Twisted Evil


Maybe we should start the process of processing the selections for a comittee to determine the need for a comittee to discuss the possibility of a process meant to investigate the process of a comittee who's determined to find out if you're not lying.


This statement is false?


As long as you remember I'm chairing all of the mentioned commitees. And watching the films and reading the claims.

Also, Techno_Dracula, as a teacher of a studies that has a 90% female student-population, in a time in which tight jeans are re-entering fashion, I find your story rather disturbing. Rather disturbing, yes...
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siliconsara



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 3:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

munan wrote:
Also, Techno_Dracula, as a teacher of a studies that has a 90% female student-population, in a time in which tight jeans are re-entering fashion, I find your story rather disturbing. Rather disturbing, yes...


The funniest part about it is that on an old board I went to, I brought up the same subject and a bunch of female members admitted to doing the same thing. You kinda discover it by accident...

But, you have to be really sneaky about it. I've gotten to the point where if I just do really rough kegels against my jeans while I'm sitting, I get a climax...not earth-shattering, but enough to make you tingle and catch your breath.

Stealth masturbation! It's an art!
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 3:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mr Chainsaw wrote:
Hmm, didn't he claim to never 'box the bald headed bishop' before?


I don't masturbate. Doesn't mean I never did.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:
Mr Chainsaw wrote:
Hmm, didn't he claim to never 'box the bald headed bishop' before?


I don't masturbate. Doesn't mean I never did.


Errm, if you say you don't masturbate, doesn't that also mean you never did? Or do you mean you weren't masturbating at the time you were posting that post...
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You people are hopeless.
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Blaster
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think Simon means that he is comitted to a secondary masturbatory virginity. As odd as it seems to be, there are people (male and female) who just don't *get* the point of masturbation. Usually I want to punch those people in the face and not talk to them anymore. I want to do the same thing to people who don't enjoy performing oral sex, but I digress.
I see that techno has mastered the art of pulsing off. But if you think that is impressive, I have a coworker who has an orgasm just about every time she urinates. She's the kinda chick who, if you picked her up and shook her, I think a few orgasms would fall out. Some of us are just blessed, I guess.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:
You people are hopeless.


Say that again. Are we people hopeless?? You mean, Fuggers? Don't give me that backtracking bullshit. That was a racist slur!

Edit:
Blaster wrote:
She's the kinda chick who, if you picked her up and shook her, I think a few orgasms would fall out. Some of us are just blessed, I guess.


"Hey, can I borrow one of your orgasms?"
"Oh, sorry, I left them in my other pants... Rolling Eyes "
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Blaster
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wonder what the proportion of men is who can achieve the hands-free orgasm. I hear that there are guys who can go to a strip club and have a handful of orgasms from getting a lap dance or something. Cleanup must be messy.
Then of course there are all those accounts of premature ejaculation (picture the webcam scene from American Pie). Of course in those circumstances, such a thing is considered a curse rather than a blessing.
Yeah, I'm just thinking "out loud" now.
Were this some forum besides alp, I would launch into all sorts of treatises, diatribes, and general discourses regarding human sexuality. Alas, I endeavor to restrain myself here.
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

George! Cut the restraints!
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blaster wrote:
I wonder what the proportion of men is who can achieve the hands-free orgasm. I hear that there are guys who can go to a strip club and have a handful of orgasms from getting a lap dance or something. Cleanup must be messy.


Yeah well, there's like a really hot, almost nude girl, rubbing her groin on your crotch etc etc...

Blaster wrote:
Yeah, I'm just thinking "out loud" now.


Gee wiz, you coulda fooled me... I woulda sworn you were just typing...
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George




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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:
George! Cut the restraints!

Aye captain!

/cut
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You have a coworker who has an orgasm EVERY TIME SHE URINATES?!

that has to be the best thing ever.

"Ah, hold on, I have to use the toilet. WOOHOO!"

"I'm going to drink way more water than I need to... for no reason, of course."

"Ooh, ooh! Rest stop in 3 miles! I feel like making a pit stop!"

Of course, if that were the case with me, being a guy, that would be really REALLY bizarre.
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Blaster
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aramor wrote:

Yeah well, there's like a really hot, almost nude girl, rubbing her groin on your crotch etc etc...

Yeah, but the point that I am getting at is that it's more of a mental thing. I highly doubt that they are getting THAT much physical contact on their schlongs.
Aramor wrote:

Blaster wrote:
Yeah, I'm just thinking "out loud" now.


Gee wiz, you coulda fooled me... I woulda sworn you were just typing...

Hence the quotation marks around "out loud" Wink
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blaster wrote:
Yeah, but the point that I am getting at is that it's more of a mental thing. I highly doubt that they are getting THAT much physical contact on their schlongs.


Someone once said that an orgasm is 80% mental... and then he said "So with a creative mind..." and then I said "Enjoy sex to the fullest! Rape an AKI student!!!"

But none of you are going to understand that... too bad... actually...

Blaster wrote:
Hence the quotation marks around "out loud" Wink


Hence the sarcasm in my reply Wink
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote


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siliconsara



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blaster wrote:

I see that techno has mastered the art of pulsing off. But if you think that is impressive, I have a coworker who has an orgasm just about every time she urinates. She's the kinda chick who, if you picked her up and shook her, I think a few orgasms would fall out. Some of us are just blessed, I guess.


I think what your co-worker has could be a blessing and a curse. I don't think I would want to be orgasmic all over the place, heh. I mean, getting there is half the fun...and doing it secretly in public? *is all hot and bothered* =D I guess I like to kinda be teased and worked up to the brink of ecstasy.

But, I am somewhat like your co-worker. If you shook me aka touched me on my chest or in the *secret spot*, then yeah, I'd be all "WHOOHOO YESSSSS. Thank you, sir!"

And I could ramble on about sexuality, in the non-horny sense...but yeah, I don't think Bernie would want that on his turf...I respect em'!
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:


Two can play at that game:

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Blaster
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aramor wrote:
Hence the sarcasm in my reply Wink

Hence, SHUT UP! Very Happy
techno_dracula wrote:
I think what your co-worker has could be a blessing and a curse. I don't think I would want to be orgasmic all over the place, heh. I mean, getting there is half the fun...and doing it secretly in public? *is all hot and bothered* =D I guess I like to kinda be teased and worked up to the brink of ecstasy.

Others have made that point, but she doesn't seem to have become jaded due to her condition. Wink
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 4:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blaster wrote:
Aramor wrote:
Hence the sarcasm in my reply Wink

Hence, SHUT UP! Very Happy


Alright alright, don't twist your nibblets...
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 9:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, the contest begins tomorrow, and the last wanker wins. I know Aramor and myself are in, any other takers?
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helmet boy



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 10:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

im in, i have gone for at least a month without burpin the worm.
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 10:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm in. I'll defiantely win. *fap fap fap* lol
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2005 3:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok gentlemen, block all your favourite porn sites (and the others), sell your porn mags/tapes/dvds and wear a sandpaper glove 24/7. Let's get this contest started.
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