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Cowboys or Samurai

 
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Gifftacon



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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2005 4:06 am    Post subject: Cowboys or Samurai Reply with quote

In the true feeling of one or the other topics. Here's a good two. One that I'm actually not sure I have an aswer for myself. With the cowboy, you have all those great adventures in the west. Whetthe it be seaching for gold, fighting the indians, or moving the herd to market. Then there's the rowdy bars along the way, and the sassy lasses. Then with the samurai, you have honor and servitude to think about. Also you have high intensive fight over said honor and servitude. The women are also something to think aabout. They have class and know, generally how to please a man. Oh the decisions.
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2005 7:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Samurai, as in, the Panda Samurai.
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RobinHood3000



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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2005 9:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tough one. Constant state of dishevelment...or ritual disembowelment. So many pros and so many cons.

Bah to bushido--kung fu is the ultimate martial art. And as for guns...how uncivilized.
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2005 6:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tripper wrote:
Samurai, as in, the Panda Samurai.


You got free brew for life man!
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Holly Resurrected



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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2005 7:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, the cowboy gets the cooler hat and a gun which is arguably a better weapon than a sword, but only for six shots. Then it's scrap. The samurai has armor and a scary mask, plus the whole Bushido thing. I go with the samurai just because they look cooler.
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Zombie



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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2005 8:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Facts:
Samurai were the soldier caste of Japan and lived a life of honour and sworn duty to their leige lords. They were ferocious fighters and would die for their lords.

Cowboys were a bunch of guys who couldn't become farmers so they took herds of cattle through miles upon miles of barren countryside, using guns only to scare off rustlers and coyotes. at the end of their ride, they would spend most of their pay for the grueling trek on booze and whores, or would pick fights in taverns and get blown away by gunmen who take advantage of cowboys that cant shoot

The Fiction
Samurai are unbeatable martial artists that can split 4352 people in half by one swing of a sword. They wander around kicking ass for honour and can only be beaten by ninja.

Cowboys are badasses who shoot up towns in the old west, rob banks/trains, and have shootouts at high noon

The winner?

Samurai. in reality they wouldn't hesitate to decapitate a cowboy and in fiction, even the fastest gun in the west would be no match for the quick steel of a master swordsman
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2005 9:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wait, wait, wait... WHAT?! A samurai would kill a cowboy...?!

Guns are more effective weapons than swords. Yes: samurai were cool. We all learned that from TMNT. But come on! There's a reason why every army on the planet uses guns today and not a one of them uses swords.

I'd rather be a good shot with a six-shooter than an AWESOME swordfighter... unless I never had to fight anyone ever, cause being an awesome swordfighter would look really cool.

A samurai stands thirty paces away from a cowboy. Samurai draws his sword and sprints toward the cowboy. Cowboy pulls out his revolver, fires a shot. Samurai slows for a second, gets hit by a second bullet, stops, gets hit by four more bullets.

Cowboy is now twenty-three paces from a dead Japanese dude lying facedown with six holes in his cloth armor. He pawns the sword at the local pawnshop... after which he gets syphilis from a prostitute and the local saloon.
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BaconNeggs



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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2005 10:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Where did you get the idea samurai wear cloth armor? They have multilayered armor thats enough to stop a steel tipped arrow.
It really depends how good the guy with the gun is. Even not under a panic situation, at a shooting gallery its still pretty hard to hit a vital part on the target aiming for the central part of the body, unless carefully aiming down the crosshair. A samurai obviously wouldn't be stationary, and if smart would use cover to get close to the cowboy. Plus they are able to use bows and arrows.

now for military, obviously guns win, large caliber rifles blow through even modern body armor. and there's so many bullets it's impossible to dodge. Plus theres cannons.
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2005 10:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Samurai armor was made of cloth, metal, and bamboo, but you're right, cloth wasn't the majority of the material. Bamboo was.

Regardless, even if the first shot isn't fatal, the cowboy has five more shots. He doesn't have to be a GREAT shot, he just has to be good enough with the first five shots to slow the guy down enough so he can take his time and shoot somewhere vital.

Also, don't forget that a six-shooter will probably be able to get off all six shots before someone with a bow and arrow could shoot more than twice.

But then again, there is the nerves factor. If the cowboy in question has never had to shoot a man before, I'd give it to the samurai... as almost by definition, the samurai's sole occupation is war.

If the cowboy has killed a man before, though, I have to give the fight to the man with the gun.
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2005 9:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

is that you john wayne or is it me.

John Wayne.


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Zombie



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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2005 7:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Crotchfire wrote:
Also, don't forget that a six-shooter will probably be able to get off all six shots before someone with a bow and arrow could shoot more than twice.


samurai would be very skilled with bow and arrow, and could probably empty a quiver in succession, and probably hit the guy quite a bit if it was from thirty paces. the cowboy would go down pretty fast, since the most protection they wear is leather chaps and a belt buckle, the rest would be pretty thin. also, the samurai wouldn't stop charging until he has expended every last ounce of life in him, a cowboy on the other hand, would probably give up easier
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2005 8:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay okay okay, time to bring back my classic mehtod of analysis:

Samurai’s Arsenal: Katana, naginata, bows and arrows, perhaps a primitive rifle. I believe the Portuguese introduced firearms around the year 1543.
Cowboy’s Arsenal: A six-shooter, perhaps a primitive rifle, rope.
Cowboy Wins! Funny isn’t it the Samurai can fight a cowboy with presumable “cowboy” weapons? But the cowboy wins as he has more recent firearms. 300 years makes a difference ya know.

Samurai’s Clothing: Armor made of cloth, bomboo, and metal, a big scary helmet.
Cowboy’s Clothing: A big coat/poncho, a big hat, assorted bags and buckles everywhere. But they can don boiler panels for armor.
Samurai Wins! What would you rather wear for Halloween?

Samurai’s Combat Ability: Trained from childhood to fight and die at his master’s command, would rather die than accept defeat.
Cowboy’s Combat Ability: Let’s all go barging in to the tavern guns blazing and get our friends shot in the ass!
Samurai Wins!

Samurai Jokes: Are there any?
Cowboy Jokes: You're a failure and a disgrace if you haven't heard one.
Cowboy Wins!

Samurai Frenzies: Everyone wanted to be a knight in shining armor some point in their life. Samurai are basically Japanese knights in shining armor.
Cowboy Frenzies: Ever since they existed, children and adults everywhere had fantasies of being a cowboy.
Samurai stabs cowboy in the gut, and cowboy shoots samurai in the ass. Both are too damn tough to cry.

A Samurai’s Friends: *Que “Brothers in Arms” by Dire Straits*
A Cowboy’s Friends: His horse, and maybe a few drunkards as well.
Samurai Wins! I suggest you don’t think of the cowboy’s relationship with his horse too much.

Samurai Food: Japanese nobility’s dinner: some very fine shit.
Cowboy Food: Steak, potatoes, and bourbon.
Samurai Wins! If it weren’t for the bourbon the cowboy would win.

Samurai’s luck with the ladies: True fact: Samurai were not allowed to enter a brothel without leaving his sword behind, and he would never leave his sword behind.
Cowboy’s luck with the ladies: Whores! Whores everywhere!
Cowboy Wins!

Samurai’s Favorite Beverage: Ever since the Japanese took over all the Scotch breweries: Scotch.
Cowboy’s Favorite Beverage: Bourbon
Samurai Wins!

That's my analysis. Currently heavily in favor of the Samurai. But the Panda Samurai stills pawns all!
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2005 11:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

While it is true that the samurai used firearms around the year 1600 hundred... after Tokugawa Ieyasu established the Tokugawa Shogunate, guns were purged from Japan until about 1860. So, except for the brief period in which Tokugawa was taking control of Japan, samurai didn't use guns.

In terms of coolness, yes, samurai win hands-down. I just have a lot of trouble believing that anyone with a sword could hold a candle to someone with a gun, unless you've got a humongous nerves factor to consider.
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Blazewing



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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 10:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, I actually never considered these two. Samurai, all the way.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 12:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm... tough one... I say... me! Oh wait, that wasn't an option... ah well, it then depends on the setting Wink

Simon, are you calling a Winchester a primitive rifle? Man, that thing is awesome. And besides "primitive rifles" they also had shotguns (with which you could hit something even after you were really drunk... well, not too drunk to not know which end the bullets come out or mistake the thing for a double-holed sex toy...), more Winchesters and Gattlings... and we all know what a Gattling does to a Samurai, eey Tom Wink

Anyhoo, I think cowboys drink more than just bourbon... don't they also drink beer? And cola... and milk?
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 4:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I still say the guns of ~100-200 years ago are primitive by modern standards.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 4:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

They may be primitive, but they sure are stylish... they are Clint Eastwoody... that sais enough I think.
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 4:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

They're also pretty innaccurate if I'm not mistaken.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 4:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:
They're also pretty innaccurate if I'm not mistaken.


*Slaps Mr. Panda with his tail to the other corner of the unixy... I mean galaverse... uhm.. space?*

Hast thou learned nothing from watching TGTBATU?
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 4:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What the fuck is TGBATU?

*Slices Aramor's tail with acid-resistant katanas.*

Okay I'm updating, cowboy arsenal is now better than samurai's.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 5:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*Looks at slithered tail... slocen tail? Slicered tail... tail splain in twain?
Ahum... looks at damaged tail*

Wait, wasn't that already a mechanical tail? Warrior, where's the list of updated parts? And sis #61687... I'm in a funky mood... did I say that out loud?

Anyhoo... The Good, the Bad and the Ugly! Go watch it, rent it, watch it again, return it, watch it a third time and go over to the videostore or something (not in that particular order).
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2005 5:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Uhhhh. *pulls chart from file* Looks like .....a pinky, a leg, the drool depleator, and......only the 12th and 19th vertebrae in your tail. From the looks of it...you need a completely new one. *unpacks repair kit and latest technologically advanced xeno tail* Hold still.....and I won't lie, this'll hurt......a lot.........I probably shouldn't have told you that...*pins Aramor and attaches new tail* There, better than new.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Mon Aug 29, 2005 4:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ouch? That hurted... now I'm a very sad Xeno...

Oh look, a Giant Rat!!! Come here, I'm gonna eat you! If I have enough AP left after I kill you!!!
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Gifftacon



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PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 3:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually, the rifle that cowboys used was highly accurate if the user new how to use one. Plus cowboys also had shotguns, so who needs accuracy with those.
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