Pirates or Ninjas?

[Blazewing]

In the spirit of the first topic I saw that inspired me to join the forums, I pose another opinionative question:

Which are better, ninjas or pirates?

And, to start off the arguments, Ninjas.
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I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts...

[Shadowclaw]

Ninjas. Need I say more?

[Crotchfire]

Hate to say it, but ninjas are boring.

Let's have a sample conversation between a pirate and a ninja:

Pirate: "Yar HARRRR! 'Tis a fine day indeed to be plunderin' the high seas and buggerin' me vast amounts of scurvy booty!"

Ninja: "..."

Pirate: "Shiver me timbers! Ya be a quiet one, thar, landlubber, do the thought of glimmerin' treasure, GOLD as far as yer covered eyes can see irk yer fancy?"

Ninja: "..."

Pirate: "Gyar, I'll be headin' into the dockside now. Been many a lonely night since I shared the company of a fair lass with'er an ever so welcoming bosom. Yar HARRRRRR!!"

Ninja: "..."

See? Ninjas are boring. Pirates all the way.

And by the way, may I say that the allusion to Eric Idle's song makes you 2X as cool?
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The official MILF-masta of the AlP forums.
In addition to my well-documented exploits, my first two initials are MF. Seriously, I'm not making that up.

[Blazewing]

[Simon_Says]

There was a pirate frenzy on this forum a month or so back. There was never a ninja frenzy.

That's all I need to say.
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[Digitaaliklosetti]

Pirates all de vey.
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bitchez n hose

[radens]

If pirates were to throw a party, the ninja's would be standing way over in the corner with the rest of the nerds. Uninvited of course, but since nobody notices them, who cares?

[paintedghost]

I'm going to cause controversy and say Ninja Pirate. Drink all the grog, steal all the treasure and the ladieeeeees (or in my cause poor unsuspecting men) and do it in a stealth ninja stylee.
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I take your reality and replace it with my own.

[ash_wednesday]

[Isaac]

The thing about pirates and ninjas is that pirates rock because their lives are just one big party, filled with singing, pillaging, and drinking while ninjas don't do all that stuff so they aren't as entertaining. But, if they were to show up at the party, no one would know and everyone would be dead.

It's kinda like the difference between an Adam Sandler movie and a Steven Segal movie. Adam Sandler is entertaining to watch but Steven Segal is way better at killing. Ninjas are just the ultimate in stealth and killing ability. And that's why they are kewl. However, the best is the Red Ninja who's powers are beyond any other Ninja or being in the universe. (Oh and if you like Robot Frank's Red Ninja stuff, there's some newer stuff he did for Myspace here: http://www.robotfrank.com/myspace1.html.)

I don't know which of the two I'd pick.
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"They tried to kill him with a forklift!" - MST3K

[Aramor]

I'll have to go with... Uruk's. I say fuck your pirates and your ninjas. Just give me a strong, stinking, murdering, iron-clad, sword-carrying, jaw-punching, head-bashing, crops-burning, child-slaying Uruk from Mordor. I mean, if I had to choose between some stupid boat or Cirith Ungol, it's Cirith Ungol for me. There's lovely companionship (Orcs are so funny, especially caus they are small and useluss...), the surrounding view is marvelous (Ephel Duath on one side, the plains of Gorgoroth on the other), there's place for romance (nothing beats walking along the sides of Orodruin with some captured she-elf) and there's easy access to the places I want to be most... Rhûn, Khand and Harad.

Yeah.
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[capfett]

[capfett]

I would chose to be a Ninja. It corresponds to my person more than pirates. A ninja would kick a pirates ass anytime. Plus I rather have nice teeth.

Jack Sparrow is awesome. I hope the sequel is not bad, like most sequels, and the third movie too.

[Crotchfire]

Admittedly, I would rather be a ninja than a pirate... as pirates aren't known for having good personal hygiene.

However, I'd much rather have a couple pirate buddies than ninja buddies, because ninjas aren't so well known for their conversational skills.

And with whom do you think would be more fun to get drunk?

Oh yeah! Pirates all the way.
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The official MILF-masta of the AlP forums.
In addition to my well-documented exploits, my first two initials are MF. Seriously, I'm not making that up.

[Simon_Says]

Pirate's Arsenal: A sword, knives, guns, those funky bowling ball grenades.
Ninja's Arsenal: A sword, a fork, womens underclothes, and some rather risque playing cards.
Ninja Wins!

Pirate's Clothing: Big coat, an even bigger hat, lots of stuff braided into the hair, and a funky beard and/or mustache.
Ninja's Clothing: Spandex/Silk/Rubber body suit, a mask or bandana, the shadows.
Pirate Wins! Ninja costumes crush my nuts man.

Pirate's Combat Ability: Down with them scurvy dogs! Damn them to the depths! Get me my red shirt and brown pants!
Ninja's Combat Ability: *Throws a fork into a guy's eye, breaks another guy's neck, and stares another guy to death. All the while never exceeding 5 decibels.*
Ninja Wins!

Pirate Jokes: You're a failure and a disgrace if you haven't heard one.
Ninja Jokes: Are there any?
Pirate Wins!

Pirate Frenzies: Ever since they existed, children and adults everywhere had fantasies of being a pirate.
Ninja Frenzies: Ever since they existed, children and adults everywhere had fantasies of being a ninja.
Pirate sets Ninja on fire, and Ninja stabs Pirate in the ass. Both are too damn tough to cry.

A Pirate's Friends: Drink up me 'earties yo ho! We call the monkey Jack!
A Ninja's Friends: Spamtaro
An epic battle between an alcaholic primate versus a freaky little hamster. Guess who won? SPAMTARO TIEM!

Pirate Food: Scurvy comes from malnutrition. But all they need is to drop on an island, pack a few oranges or other various citrus fruits, and all their problems are solved.
Ninja Food: Spam, probably...
Pirate Wins!

Pirate's luck with the ladies: "All the pleasurable company in the world could not slake our lust."
Ninja's luck with the ladies: The ninja would be more likely to kill the lady that boink her.
Pirate Wins!

Pirate's Favorite Beverage: Rum, and lots of it!
Ninja's Favorite Beverage: Motts Clamato
Pirate Wins! Don't tell me you never saw that commercial!

That's my analysis. Currently heavily in favor of the Pirates. But the Panda Samurai stills pawns all!
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[Blazewing]

[Metal_Pred]

both
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Cogito Ergo Sum....Bitch.

[Aramor]

I still say Uruks.
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[Warrior Alien]

Pirates. The way they talk, the stuff they wear, ...the gold.....oh yeah, definitely pirates.
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Earth first....we'll screw up the other planets later.

Poke me...I'll bite your hand off.

[Simon_Says]

Uh... should we set up a thread that actually allows you to vote?
If you can read this, press ctrl+a to see the entire analysis from my kudo winning performance. The Panda Samurai still pawns all!
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[Warrior Alien]

Yes, yes, we know. The Panda Man still pawns all.
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Earth first....we'll screw up the other planets later.

Poke me...I'll bite your hand off.

[Blazewing]

[Glory]

Airship Pirates >_>;

Though I have to say that ninjas definatly do kick ass. Old ninjas from the Feudal Japan era trained from when they were 5 to 22 like every other class of samurai.... though pirates do have those damn awesome coats.
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[Aramor]

[darthkittenlover]

Pirates are the new monkeys. They're everywhere, but they're a fad. Ninjas have more staying power, because they're more adaptable and mysterious.

For further perusal:

http://www.lanceandeskimo.com/journal/ninjaspirates.shtml
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