Worst Mix-up In Public Speaking Ever

Crotchfire

So I was giving a short presentation to the group with whom I am working as a research assistant over the summer, and I was making a joke about that poster that says "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten."

But what I said was "...you know... that poster that says 'Every time you kill a kitten, God masturbates'?"

...and at that point I realized what I had said, it was too late.
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Blaster · Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 7:46 pm Post subject:

Damn you, Biscotti!!!
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Context is everything.

Simon_Says · Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 8:46 pm Post subject:

What have you been smoking?
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desert_drum · Gender: Joined: 01 Feb 2005 Posts: 462

It may make you feel better:

An English teacher of mine once tried to have a reasonable discussion of DH Lawrence with a class of academically-gifted 8th graders. She wisely skipped the novels and stuck to the poems, and was discussing his view of human nature.

What she meant to say: "Lawrence believed man is a violent organism."

What she actually said: "Lawrence believed man is a violent orgasm."

...in front of 12 AG adolescents. Class over. Smile

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ash_wednesday · Gender: Joined: 12 Jul 2005 Posts: 749 Location: Canadia

Aramor

Sapphire Phoenix · Gender: Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 14 Location: Scotland

That's... fantastic! XD
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Garysparry · Gender: Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 13

My english teacher told us all to "intellectually masturbate"......

Aramor · Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 6:17 am Post subject:

You mean jerk off a book?
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capfett · Gender: Joined: 20 May 2005 Posts: 94

The guys that work at the IT department here have this program where you enter your username, password, domain and another program where you enter your username, then domain then password, and this one new guy (who is gay - just saying) who is used to entering password before domain had to enter in that second program while people were standing there and looking, and he typed his password under 'domain'.
It was "miniqueue" which means 'minidick' basically in english.

That's how they call him now.

Munan · Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 1:09 pm Post subject:

More proof of certain characteristics I already suspected to be God's
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capfett · Gender: Joined: 20 May 2005 Posts: 94

Munan · Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 2:30 am Post subject:

- Getting people all mixed up
- Getting poor kittens all mixed up
- having strange attitudes about masturbation
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Aramor · Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 4:46 am Post subject:

ash_wednesday · Gender: Joined: 12 Jul 2005 Posts: 749 Location: Canadia

Munan · Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 6:54 am Post subject:

That was something I actually not always suspected to be a characteristic of the Almighty.

Did you?
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The Justified Ancient of Mu Mu

Aramor · Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 7:04 am Post subject:

That he kills a kitten when you masturbate? Indeed... well, maybe God had a traumatical experience involving masturbation and kittens and this is His way of getting back at them...
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Garysparry · Gender: Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 13

Have you people seen what happens during the apocalypse?

God aint the happy slappy guy we all think he is, I tell you what!

Besides, theres gods little catch #22 plan thing. He kills a kitten, then just makes another one, or revives the dead one- WITHOUT TELLING YOU! That way you feel bad, but nothing bad really happens! Clever......

Munan · Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 7:16 am Post subject:

Garysparry · Gender: Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 13

By that I was referring to the generalisation. Sorry for any offense caused.

Munan · Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 7:31 am Post subject:

It's impossible to offend me or my God. I constantly do both myself.
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The Justified Ancient of Mu Mu

Simon_Says · Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 1:20 pm Post subject:

Damnit God! Why must you make us feel so bad when we masterbate?
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desert_drum · Gender: Joined: 01 Feb 2005 Posts: 462

Aramor · Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 3:54 pm Post subject:

Well guys... wouldn't want God to be... irate? Yeah, right... unzip and start fapping fellas...
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ash_wednesday · Gender: Joined: 12 Jul 2005 Posts: 749 Location: Canadia

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