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Worst Mix-up In Public Speaking Ever
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 7:17 pm    Post subject: Worst Mix-up In Public Speaking Ever Reply with quote

So I was giving a short presentation to the group with whom I am working as a research assistant over the summer, and I was making a joke about that poster that says "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten."

But what I said was "...you know... that poster that says 'Every time you kill a kitten, God masturbates'?"

...and at that point I realized what I had said, it was too late.
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Blaster
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 7:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Damn you, Biscotti!!!
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 8:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What have you been smoking?
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desert_drum



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 9:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It may make you feel better:

An English teacher of mine once tried to have a reasonable discussion of DH Lawrence with a class of academically-gifted 8th graders. She wisely skipped the novels and stuck to the poems, and was discussing his view of human nature.

What she meant to say: "Lawrence believed man is a violent organism."

What she actually said: "Lawrence believed man is a violent orgasm."


...in front of 12 AG adolescents. Class over. Smile
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ash_wednesday



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 2:44 am    Post subject: Re: Worst Mix-up In Public Speaking Ever Reply with quote

Crotchfire wrote:

But what I said was "...you know... that poster that says 'Every time you kill a kitten, God masturbates'?"
bawhahah!!! That sounds even better. That should be a poster
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 5:10 am    Post subject: Re: Worst Mix-up In Public Speaking Ever Reply with quote

Crotchfire wrote:
"Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten."


Who made that poster btw? Some religious anti-masturbation fanatics?
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Sapphire Phoenix



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 5:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's... fantastic! XD
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Garysparry



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 6:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My english teacher told us all to "intellectually masturbate"......
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 6:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You mean jerk off a book?
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capfett



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 11:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The guys that work at the IT department here have this program where you enter your username, password, domain and another program where you enter your username, then domain then password, and this one new guy (who is gay - just saying) who is used to entering password before domain had to enter in that second program while people were standing there and looking, and he typed his password under 'domain'.
It was "miniqueue" which means 'minidick' basically in english.

That's how they call him now.
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Munan
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 1:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

More proof of certain characteristics I already suspected to be God's
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capfett



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 1:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

munan wrote:
More proof of certain characteristics I already suspected to be God's


like what?
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Munan
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 2:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

- Getting people all mixed up
- Getting poor kittens all mixed up
- having strange attitudes about masturbation
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 4:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cognitive wrote:
The guys that work at the IT department here have this program where you enter your username, password, domain and another program where you enter your username, then domain then password, and this one new guy (who is gay - just saying) who is used to entering password before domain had to enter in that second program while people were standing there and looking, and he typed his password under 'domain'.
It was "miniqueue" which means 'minidick' basically in english.

That's how they call him now.


Lol.
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ash_wednesday



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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 4:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

munan wrote:
- Getting people all mixed up
- Getting poor kittens all mixed up
- having strange attitudes about masturbation
-masturbating with kittens
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Munan
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 6:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That was something I actually not always suspected to be a characteristic of the Almighty.

Did you?
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 7:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That he kills a kitten when you masturbate? Indeed... well, maybe God had a traumatical experience involving masturbation and kittens and this is His way of getting back at them...
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Garysparry



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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 7:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Have you people seen what happens during the apocalypse?

God aint the happy slappy guy we all think he is, I tell you what!

Besides, theres gods little catch #22 plan thing. He kills a kitten, then just makes another one, or revives the dead one- WITHOUT TELLING YOU! That way you feel bad, but nothing bad really happens! Clever......
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Munan
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 7:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Garysparry wrote:
God aint the happy slappy guy we all think he is, I tell you what!


What makes you think I'd see God as a happy slappy guy?

My mother is a catholic and my father is a muslim. I grew up with the Bible and the Quran

So I certainly don't picture Him being anything even remotely resembling happy or slappy.

Quote:
He kills a kitten, then just makes another one, or revives the dead one- WITHOUT TELLING YOU! That way you feel bad, but nothing bad really happens! Clever......


You see? That's more like it.
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Garysparry



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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 7:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

By that I was referring to the generalisation. Sorry for any offense caused.
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Munan
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 7:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's impossible to offend me or my God. I constantly do both myself.
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 1:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Damnit God! Why must you make us feel so bad when we masterbate?
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desert_drum



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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 3:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:
Damnit God! Why must you make us feel so bad when we masterbate?


Beeeee-caaaaaause....

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well guys... wouldn't want God to be... irate? Yeah, right... unzip and start fapping fellas...
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ash_wednesday



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PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2005 1:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

desert_drum wrote:
Simon_Says wrote:
Damnit God! Why must you make us feel so bad when we masterbate?


Beeeee-caaaaaause....

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
Bible thumper...
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