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Crotchfire
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Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 527
Location: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
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 Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 11:25 am Post subject: |
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Teri Hatcher's definitely a MILF.
...by the way, my name isn't a reference to herpes, it's a play on the word Crossfire. Specifically, that board game in the late eighties/early nineties that had that awesome commercial.
"Cross fi-uh, you'll get caught up in the...
Cross fi-uh...
HOOH!"
Now replace the word Crossfire with Crotchfire. I think it sounds kinda funny.
I do NOT have venereal diseases 
(I don't get enough to get them, anyway)
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The official MILF-masta of the AlP forums.
In addition to my well-documented exploits, my first two initials are MF. Seriously, I'm not making that up. |
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Aramor
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Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 14131
Location: On a cyborg unicorn pony!
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| Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 12:43 pm Post subject: |
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You want my list of 5?
1. Liza
2. Sandra
3. Jessica
4. Kirsten Dunst
5. Shannon Elizabeth
The first 3 are people I know. Kinda obvious...
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| Photoshopperholic wrote: | | Mighty Lord Aramor |
Fail of the day:
| Syn wrote: | | your balls didn't get suck |
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Munan
Moderator
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Joined: 30 May 2005
Posts: 3232
Location: Living on my own
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| Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 3:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Crotchfire wrote: |
I do NOT have venereal diseases
(I don't get enough to get them, anyway) |
veneral diseases and contraception seem to be the topic around here since # 120. I saw today's comic mentioned a broken condom as well.
So you chose your nick well, I would say...
Is there a condom big enough for Abe's head? That would look so silly, yet so funny...
My five? Well, it may sound dull, but lately, only my girlfriend comes to mind. Sometimes I find myself considering other girls (never celebs, though - I don't do celebrities, not in reality, nor in fantasy), but - nothing seems to be worth the effort when one's together with such a fabulous person. She sort of devaluates others...
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The Justified Ancient of Mu Mu |
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Metal_Pred
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Joined: 21 May 2005
Posts: 875
Location: In My Kingdom Cold
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| Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 4:41 pm Post subject: |
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Give me some monaay *spinal tap*
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Cogito Ergo Sum....Bitch.
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bewtifulfreak
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Joined: 13 May 2005
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 5:16 pm Post subject: |
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| munan wrote: | | My five? Well, it may sound dull, but lately, only my girlfriend comes to mind. Sometimes I find myself considering other girls (never celebs, though - I don't do celebrities, not in reality, nor in fantasy), but - nothing seems to be worth the effort when one's together with such a fabulous person. She sort of devaluates others... |
I'm sorry, but I can't resist a big ol' girly....
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!  |
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Blaster
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Joined: 05 Apr 2005
Posts: 2542
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 9:38 pm Post subject: |
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| munan wrote: | | My five? Well, it may sound dull, but lately, only my girlfriend comes to mind. Sometimes I find myself considering other girls (never celebs, though - I don't do celebrities, not in reality, nor in fantasy), but - nothing seems to be worth the effort when one's together with such a fabulous person. She sort of devaluates others... |
Lucky bastard 
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Context is everything. |
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Isaac
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Joined: 16 Apr 2005
Posts: 133
Location: Indiana, USA
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| Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 10:13 am Post subject: |
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Hmm.. I would enjoy having money, but I'd just be using that money to get laid anyway. And, it does say "sex with your choice of five people (at any time, 1 at a time) for the rest of your life". I don't care how much cash you have, you probably will never have it that definite. And, if you only get a million dollars, definite sex at any time until you die will probably never happen. I also like the fact that it's not only sex anytime you feel like it, but it's sex with five chicks of your choosing. Here's my five:
1) Elisha Cuthbert
2) Michelle Branch
and I guess I'd probably go with three more that I know IRL, since I really can't think of anyone super amazingly hot like the other two I listed, but I can think of three hot chicks I know that'd be great to have on my list 
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capfett
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| Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 11:33 am Post subject: |
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I'm a girl right.
So.
Well yeah I'd choose the money no question there.
But if I were to choose 5 people I'd sleep with, even though I definitely wouldn't and much rather have 1 boyfriend period, I would choose...
1- A Scout Trooper from Star Wars, the ones on the speeders, right, any would do of course, and he has to keep the helmet on
2- Johnny Depp, and arriving to my house on a racer bike would be even hotter
3- Anakin Skywalker (NOT the actor but really the character), from the episode III with the scar in the face, that's hot
4- Legolas (again the character)
5- Jee tough choice........... I guess I'd say the guy that plays Eomer in LOTR. Or Daniel in Stargate-SG1. haha yah and he'd have to be in a combat suit too.
So THERE.
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Munan
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| Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 12:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Cognitive wrote: | I'mBut if I were to choose 5 people I'd sleep with, even though I definitely wouldn't and much rather have 1 boyfriend period, I would choose...
1- A Scout Trooper from Star Wars, the ones on the speeders, right, any would do of course, and he has to keep the helmet on
2- Johnny Depp, and arriving to my house on a racer bike would be even hotter
3- Anakin Skywalker (NOT the actor but really the character), from the episode III with the scar in the face, that's hot
4- Legolas (again the character)
5- Jee tough choice........... I guess I'd say the guy that plays Eomer in LOTR. Or Daniel in Stargate-SG1. haha yah and he'd have to be in a combat suit too.
So THERE.
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Once again, the mystery that is called woman...
So I guess the "1 boyfriend period" would have to be the best of the above combined?
Lord have mercy...
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Wize
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Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Posts: 64
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| Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 1:14 pm Post subject: |
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| Give me the cheddah anyday. Not only is it easier to get laid with money, but you can use money to make more money if you know what you're doing. I mean-sex leads to more sex also, but that's another thread. |
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Aramor
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Location: On a cyborg unicorn pony!
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| Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 1:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Cognitive wrote: | | 5- Jee tough choice........... I guess I'd say the guy that plays Eomer in LOTR. |
That would be Karl Urban. He also plays as Lord Vaako in the Chronicles of Riddick.
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| Photoshopperholic wrote: | | Mighty Lord Aramor |
Fail of the day:
| Syn wrote: | | your balls didn't get suck |
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MechComander2
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Joined: 15 Jun 2005
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 8:04 am Post subject: |
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| munan wrote: | | Crotchfire wrote: |
I do NOT have venereal diseases
(I don't get enough to get them, anyway) |
veneral diseases and contraception seem to be the topic around here since # 120. I saw today's comic mentioned a broken condom as well.
So you chose your nick well, I would say...
Is there a condom big enough for Abe's head? That would look so silly, yet so funny...
My five? Well, it may sound dull, but lately, only my girlfriend comes to mind. Sometimes I find myself considering other girls (never celebs, though - I don't do celebrities, not in reality, nor in fantasy), but - nothing seems to be worth the effort when one's together with such a fabulous person. She sort of devaluates others... |
How could only ur gf come 2 mind???
i got 5 right here
1) Desiree
2)angle
3)Lauren
4)this girl i dont know here name
5)another girl i dont know here name
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Clan:Orighacker Squad:Delta Rank:High General/Squad leader
If u people play SC msg me name is MechComander2
i have read these comics and the books people wrote now for 5 months so new family dont mean stop writing or ill find u......
Last edited by MechComander2 on Wed Jun 15, 2005 8:17 am; edited 1 time in total |
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MechComander2
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Joined: 15 Jun 2005
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 8:16 am Post subject: |
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Hell if u gave me 50 mill to 1 bill i would take the money but must be TAX FREE
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Clan:Orighacker Squad:Delta Rank:High General/Squad leader
If u people play SC msg me name is MechComander2
i have read these comics and the books people wrote now for 5 months so new family dont mean stop writing or ill find u...... |
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Digitaaliklosetti
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Joined: 19 Apr 2005
Posts: 1850
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| Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 8:37 am Post subject: |
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| Treach wrote: | | desert_drum wrote: | | How about you, Treach? You never said what you'd choose. |
Heyyy, guys, I didn't know I was working with such a square crowd. I figured I'd get some lists and discussion of who everyone wanted ta bone (and yeah, personal friends and fictional characters included). But y'all had to go and take the "sex with hot people ain't that important to me" high ground. What planet are you from?
1. Halle Berry
2. Thandie Newton
3. Grace Park
4. Teri Hatcher
5. Scarlet Johansson
There. |
What can I say? We're all in denial.
I only recognize Halle Berry from that list, by the way.
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bitchez n hose |
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capfett
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Posts: 94
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| Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 10:22 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | Once again, the mystery that is called woman...
So I guess the "1 boyfriend period" would have to be the best of the above combined?
Lord have mercy... |
Hehe, nah, but I'd probably have him dress in my Scout Trooper costume sometime 
Seriously the top qualities I want in a man are all mental. But we were talking about top 5 people to have sex with, so I went for the physical qualities : P
B'sides, if I were so interested in sex in the first place, I'd take the money and just go and have sex with the guys I'd rank 6 to 10000 multiple times rather than once with each of the top 5 choices.
If you're curious to know though what I'd like is someone intelligent, compassionate, tolerant, funny, spiritual, who attaches importance to both his mental and physical health, without completely being a freak of health, i.e. smokes or doesn't mind that i'd smoke a joint once in a while (and i mean -once in a while-) or drink alcohol or coffee etc. And would be cool if the guy snowboarded and had a motorcycle since I do that myself.
: D |
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RobinHood3000
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Joined: 13 Apr 2005
Posts: 224
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| Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 12:56 pm Post subject: |
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| Digitaaliklosetti wrote: | | Treach wrote: | | desert_drum wrote: | | How about you, Treach? You never said what you'd choose. |
Heyyy, guys, I didn't know I was working with such a square crowd. I figured I'd get some lists and discussion of who everyone wanted ta bone (and yeah, personal friends and fictional characters included). But y'all had to go and take the "sex with hot people ain't that important to me" high ground. What planet are you from?
1. Halle Berry
2. Thandie Newton
3. Grace Park
4. Teri Hatcher
5. Scarlet Johansson
There. |
What can I say? We're all in denial.
I only recognize Halle Berry from that list, by the way. |
Teri Hatcher is currently on Desperate Housewives, though I remember her more from the Lois and Clark television series.
Scarlet Johansson is the female lead in Lost in Translation with Bill Murray.
I assume by Grace Park he meant the golfer gal?
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Grrrr...RAAAAARRRGHHH!!!
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Wize
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Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Posts: 64
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| Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 2:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Digitaaliklosetti wrote: | | Treach wrote: | | desert_drum wrote: | | How about you, Treach? You never said what you'd choose. |
Heyyy, guys, I didn't know I was working with such a square crowd. I figured I'd get some lists and discussion of who everyone wanted ta bone (and yeah, personal friends and fictional characters included). But y'all had to go and take the "sex with hot people ain't that important to me" high ground. What planet are you from?
1. Halle Berry
2. Thandie Newton
3. Grace Park
4. Teri Hatcher
5. Scarlet Johansson
There. |
What can I say? We're all in denial.
I only recognize Halle Berry from that list, by the way. |
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
(May not be the best pics, but I'm a notch slow on my google trigger finger right now...)
And I'd still take the money. over my five, which I will still not reveal. |
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desert_drum
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Joined: 01 Feb 2005
Posts: 462
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| Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 3:01 pm Post subject: |
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| Treach wrote: | | What planet are you from? |
The one where the idea of sex with people I don't know and don't know me is icky (and with celebrities, semi-stalkerish), and most people I know, I don't want to get horizontal with
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Treach
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Posts: 77
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| Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 3:13 pm Post subject: |
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Grace Park from Battlestar Galactica.
And holy guacamole! That pic of Scarlet Johansson. On the strength of that pic alone, she goes up a couple notches. Thanks, Wize, you da man. |
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Aramor
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Posts: 14131
Location: On a cyborg unicorn pony!
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| Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Cognitive wrote: | If you're curious to know though what I'd like is someone intelligent, compassionate, tolerant, funny, spiritual, who attaches importance to both his mental and physical health, without completely being a freak of health, i.e. smokes or doesn't mind that i'd smoke a joint once in a while (and i mean -once in a while-) or drink alcohol or coffee etc. And would be cool if the guy snowboarded and had a motorcycle since I do that myself.
: D |
*Puts on German accent* Yes, vell. Ve are currently in ze proces of creating ze man you just described. Or ve are making a veapon of mass destroctiun. I can't remember.
*Throws away German accent*
Anyhoo, I could've sworn that 5th picture is Kari Wuhrer.
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| Photoshopperholic wrote: | | Mighty Lord Aramor |
Fail of the day:
| Syn wrote: | | your balls didn't get suck |
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TripperDay
Joined: 15 Jun 2005
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 6:52 pm Post subject: |
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So you get a million dollars, gov't takes 300k, buy a 150k house, a 50k car, and you're left with 500k. If you want to be really safe, you're only going to make 8% or 40k a year, unless you want to keep working.
Crazy world scenario - it was tax free, you only spent 120k on the house and car, you were willing to take some risk, had a brilliant broker that made you an average of 15%, and you didn't pay capital gains - $132k/year. That's a lot of money, but it's not going to buy me Scarlett Johansen-quality booty, and if I wanted her, Thora Birch, Liv Tyler ("Leave the elf ears on, and answer only to 'Arwen'"), Erin Gray during the Battlestar Galactica years, and Britney Spears in a ball gag (which works on a couple of different levels) at my sexual beck and call, I'd need a lot more cash.
Since I really don't mind my job, I'd have to take the sex, at least from a purely earthly pleasures standpoint. But since I'd also like to find that one special someone to have sex with and annoy for the rest of my life, I'd probably just take the cash.
Would the Olsen twins count as one if they were conjoined? Just asking. |
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Wize
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Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Posts: 64
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| Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 1:52 pm Post subject: |
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If I had to pick people to sleep with, it certainly would not be some hollywood actress or superstar or something like that. They would be people who I see every day, so therefore I won't need a fuckload of cash to make it happen. Really-like the only actress that I'm insanely attracted to is Diane Neal from Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.
She makes me purrrrrrrrrr...........
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scarycatmecha
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Joined: 31 May 2005
Posts: 10
Location: Lon-Guyland
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| Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 8:37 pm Post subject: tougher than it initially looks..... |
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This to me is a tough question. I don't mean to make it sound like I lack moral fibre or anything, I've just been through enough 'waking in a cold sweat from nightmares about living out of the car I can't afford to fix' dreams that money has a certain cachet. Money, unlike men, is unlikely to leave you for a 19 year old stripper with plastic tits.
Not that sex is all that high on my list of Must Haves. I've also reached that wonderful/horrible age where one realizes that one is more likely to get 'good sex' by oneself than with someone who doesn't have the time or inclination to actually know his way around the female body. Good sex is high on my list, but not just 'sex'. I'd rather have mindblowing sex with one person than five people with only-slightly-irate skills in the sack.
Though if I did opt for the 'five' I get dibs on General John Abizaid.
SCM--cat robots need love too!
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There aren't any hard women; only soft men.
Raquel Welch |
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Munan
Moderator
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Joined: 30 May 2005
Posts: 3232
Location: Living on my own
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| Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 4:53 am Post subject: Re: tougher than it initially looks..... |
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| scarycatmecha wrote: | | I've also reached that wonderful/horrible age where one realizes that one is more likely to get 'good sex' by oneself than with someone who doesn't have the time or inclination to actually know his way around the female body. |
So your list of five is actually a list of three?
1. me
2. myself
3. I
I like those too.
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The Justified Ancient of Mu Mu |
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Korean Abraham
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Joined: 17 Jun 2005
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 1:53 pm Post subject: THE LIST -- ALL BOW BEFORE IT'S GLORY |
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| TripperDay wrote: | So you get a million dollars, gov't takes 300k, buy a 150k house, a 50k car, and you're left with 500k. If you want to be really safe, you're only going to make 8% or 40k a year, unless you want to keep working.
Crazy world scenario - it was tax free, you only spent 120k on the house and car, you were willing to take some risk, had a brilliant broker that made you an average of 15%, and you didn't pay capital gains - $132k/year. That's a lot of money, but it's not going to buy me Scarlett Johansen-quality booty, and if I wanted her, Thora Birch, Liv Tyler ("Leave the elf ears on, and answer only to 'Arwen'"), Erin Gray during the Battlestar Galactica years, and Britney Spears in a ball gag (which works on a couple of different levels) at my sexual beck and call, I'd need a lot more cash.
Since I really don't mind my job, I'd have to take the sex, at least from a purely earthly pleasures standpoint. But since I'd also like to find that one special someone to have sex with and annoy for the rest of my life, I'd probably just take the cash.
Would the Olsen twins count as one if they were conjoined? Just asking. |
Actually Uncle Sam takes much more than 30% from a 1 million lump sum.
After taxes, you'll be left with somewhere around $540 thousand.
Also, where do you live where houses go for $150,000?
You can barely even get a 1 bedroom sh*t-hole condo within a 1.5hour commute to the city for $250,000 minimum, where I live. So more realistically 1 million dollars will leave you with $250 thousand, after buying a tiny little home, and a nice car.
So, $1,000,000 is not enough to pass on THE LIST (in no particular order except for Adriana Lima being #1):
1) Adriana Lima
2) Jessica Alba
3) Kristin Kreuk
4) Angelina Jolie
5) Rosario Dawson
$14,390,058.71 is the exact minimum monetary value I expect to be compensated for to pass on THE LIST. |
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