Simon_Plays Modern Warfare 2

[Simon_Says]

So steam had a free weekend going and I was always curious about what the big deal with the Modern Warfare games was. I never played a Call of Duty game before that point and I never really got the appeal of the series. Maybe I'm just not a gun-wanking warmonger but whatever. Point is I never had any real dislike for the game or series in general, beyond my usual diatribes of hate and loathing toward xbox live. But this was PC, and anyway, free weekend, so why not? I downloaded the 11.3 GB monster Friday night, loaded it up Saturday noon. Thirty minutes later, I deleted it. I swear I've never yelled so passionately at a computer in my life. What a fucking. piece. of. shit.

So after setting up the options I joined a team deathmatch game. I heard of the game’s lack of dedicated servers or server listings, but I rolled with it. Borderlands turned out to be quite okay without dedicated servers. It at least ensured there was no abundance of empty servers I had to filter out. So teams made, map set, game on.

First thing I’m hit with is a class selection screen. Okay, these are normal nowadays, what are my options? Except the options gave zero information regarding what my weapons were, or any indication of strengths/weaknesses. Just a bunch of guns I don’t know and a silly name that means nothing. So I picked the one with the FAMAS and shotgun and dove in. In something like ten minutes I must have been fragged at least a dozen times. I didn't count. I didn't expect to need to count. I wish I did. "So what?" you may wonder. "You just started. You're bound to suck at first." True enough. First times with Unreal Tournament 2k4, TF2, etc. all kicked my ass. But the problem I feel was not my lack of skill, it's because I didn't see any one of my many attackers. Every time I was brought down I had no idea who attacked me or from where. The deathcams did nothing to help, except point out that "this is you, see? You died lol!". How am I supposed to shoot what I can’t even put my crosshairs on? So I lost the game. Badly. A dozen deaths without being able to do a single thing worthwhile. I was getting angry at this point, so what did I do?

Grabbed a beer and tried again, of course.


This would be the best part of my Modern Warfare 2 experience.

Round two, another deathmatch game, another map. Stuck with the same class, cause I saw no reason to choose any of the others. Beer helps, apparently, cause I was able to nab two kills. On people who apparently were also just trying the free weekend... My kd ratio still was abysmal. I was getting perforated left and right by people I couldn’t see. People who apparently could see me coming a mile off. Another ten minutes, another game lost. Then I tried to exit the game. First time I was desperate to leave so I just quit the process in task manager. This time, I decided to restrain myself. Except the game wouldn’t let me leave! I quit, it does nothing. Escape, goes to lobby. Quit again, nothing. I must have mashed escape a dozen times just to make it to main menu.


They pull me back in!

That was it. I blasted the fucker from my hard drive. I was blown away myself. Astounded. Dumbstruck. I felt as if I had just survived a trainwreck. I was still yelling “Bullshit!” at the screen. I could not believe how unplayable this game was. I’ve played frustrating games before, hell I’ve played bad games before. But never before had I gone to the bathroom to find I was pissing steam.

The game is, to put it simply, the grand mother of all clusterfucks. You’re thrown in without any guidance or direction. The maps are the most claustrophobic, cluttered, completely Escheresque mazes I’ve ever encountered. You’re given no information about how your weapons actually function (Wait, I took the burst-fire rifle? Fuck!) The crosshairs are barely fucking visible over the surroundings. The people are barely visible over the surroundings. Explosions and gun fire are going off everywhere and you have no idea where the fuck they’re coming from until the death-cam helpfully points out that, yeah, wanker sniped you from the airplane cockpit. You can’t even see into the cockpit from the outside! But the worst thing about this game though, was its simple attitude to balance: “fuck it.”

Apparently, having just started out, I had no choice of good equipment, tools, whatever. I wasn’t even allowed to play certain game modes until I advanced some arbitrary rank. I’d like to mention two of my many deaths. First game, motherfucker ganks me with some kind of remote missile, while nesting in some forgotten corner of the map. Without any sort of line of sight. Second game, different motherfucker was piloting a plane above my head, ripping me apart with a Gatling gun. How the fuck did they get those? Why can’t I get one? What the fuck is this shit they’re hitting me with?! You telling me that just because I’m a newb, I just don’t deserve access to the big guns? Wait, that’s it, isn’t it? I’m a FNG so I can’t have fun. Well that’s just fucking great, Infinity Ward, absolutely fucking great. Now I’m starting to see why this game is so popular with the console crowd. It’s a munchkin’s paradise. Play it until you have the grossly overpowered means to beat other players down, piss on their corpse, call them fags if they complain. How fucking glorious.


Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, the Tabletop Role-playing Game.

I played this glorified demo for twenty minutes, and it pissed me off more than any other thing I’ve ever had on my PC. How does this shit get glowing reviews? How do consumers not recognize how unbelievable stupid this game is? Why is this cunt-fungus priced at 60 CAD?!


What I'm doing at this point.

Fuck it. Fuck this game, fuck Infinity Ward, and fuck all of you people. You bought the first one, you bought this one, you’ve been cramming down my throat how ‘great’ and ‘addictive’ Modern Warfare was. No it isn’t. It’s crap. It’s stupid. It’s anti-addictive. You twats can’t recognize quality entertainment at all. The only good thing I can say about Modern Warfare 2 and the like, is that at least it keeps you fuckers away from my TF2.

I need a drink...
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[Bloo]

[Nron]

[Bloo]

Apparently you suck at this game, too.

I'm going to admit that it does get frustrating with ghost kills and grenades and all of that. But when it's fun, holy shit it's fun.

[Syn]

[Nron]

[Aurelyn]

I completely agree, having had much the same experience the couple of times I tried it - increasingly games like this are becoming so unfriendly to the newcomer it's like once they have a core of players they don't actually want anyone else to have a good time. At least when you're playing Starcraft on the Korean servers and getting Zerg rushed inside of a minute you can appreciate the artistry, but getting fragged by something you can't even see because some socially maladroit twerp in his mom's attic has spent all his time playing the game to earn the right to said gatling gun while you were out having a life is too frustrating to bother with.
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Da Fro-mastah of da aLp Forums!

[Bloo]

I just hate how it's basically been the same since maybe the second game. I'm all for keeping a working formula without change just for the sake of change (Zelda), but there have been six (seven this year I think) games in not even a decade that all play almost exactly alike.

The campaign is really all that keeps me playing, because they're actually pretty good.

[Simon_Says]

[Bloo]

It wasn't always this bad on new players. You could always start Call of Duty 4 with the default classes and still be on somewhat equal grounds with experienced players (compared to its sequel) if you were decent enough.

[Aramor]

They should adopt the Killzone 2 system I think. You gain better weapons and stuff as you get a higher rank, but you can only join games where the other ranks are either the same, 1 higher or 1 lower.
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[Syn]

Apparently quite a few of the higher up people from infinity ward are jumping ship... Can't really blame them. I say we need another legen-dary small time games developer, fuck all this corporate shit, give the old school gamers something that we can play and not just buy because its the next game from some chain who decided to rape pillage and plunder something that used to be a good game.
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"When I get home... I am going to do so much fucking cocaine..."

[Aramor's #1 Fan]

[Aramor]

To be honest, I still use the ISA AR, even though I'm a General or something. I just suck with a sniper rifle and a shotgun. Also, I like being a Tactician so that's basically my only choice.
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[Aramor's #1 Fan]

[Simon_Says]

And I'd like to note that recently I've been playing Battlefield Bad Company 2 with friends.

Basically, it's actually a fun game. Unlike MW2. Yes I was getting owned constantly but at least I know that that as the result of their skill and experience, not cheap bullshit kill-streak awards.

I'm playing the PC version, just add sighman_says to your friends list if you feel like waxing some foos.
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[Bloo]

Huh, I didn't think anyone who hated MW2 could actually like BC2.

BC1>MW2>BC2=CoD7>CoD4

I'm not even counting World at War 'cause the only reason people played it was Nazi Zombies.

The Modern Warfare series' campaigns are actually really good in my opinion, it's multiplayer that sucks (actually only MW2's, not CoD4's).

[Aurelyn]

@ Simon - yeah, that trailer you posted looked really cool. I might check it out, I haven't played any FPS in an age.
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Da Fro-mastah of da aLp Forums!

[Simon_Says]

[Bloo]

Okay, maybe you'd put it above any Call of Duty game ever. Sue me for not doing the same.

I know, Black-Ops still has the kill streaks. They're much less intrusive this time around, I think, and even more so in the fourth (except the attack heli, but you felt like you deserved it after getting it anyway). The random grenades are still a pain in the ass, though.

And the perks are fucking broken, but whatever. The only reason anyone still plays these games is for Zombies anyway.

[Simon_Says]

I'd put it above MW2. Having not played any of the others I should not and will not judge them. All I know is that BC2 > MW2, in my experience.
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