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Simon_Says
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Aramor
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 Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 1:40 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, that made me laugh.
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| Photoshopperholic wrote: | | Mighty Lord Aramor |
Fail of the day:
| Syn wrote: | | your balls didn't get suck |
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Sal
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Joined: 29 Jul 2005
Posts: 4625
Location: home and such
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| Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 7:09 am Post subject: |
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"Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z"
instant classic.
or this one:
| Quote: |
<Anonymous> Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cunts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it.
<Anonymous> Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cunt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! FUCK!.” By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.
<Anonymous> Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m FUCKING HIV POSITIVE.”
<Anonymous> And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cunt she is.
<Anonymous> I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob. |
i hope this story is true.
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i have no time for anal love
| Simon_Says wrote: | | Sal, you're my favourite member again. |
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Aramor
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Joined: 29 Mar 2005
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Location: On a cyborg unicorn pony!
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| Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 9:49 am Post subject: |
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You gotta have a pretty big imagination to make all of it up.
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| Photoshopperholic wrote: | | Mighty Lord Aramor |
Fail of the day:
| Syn wrote: | | your balls didn't get suck |
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Simon_Says
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Joined: 17 Apr 2005
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Location: Being generally opposing.
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| Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 11:40 am Post subject: |
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One of my personal favourites is "I was once kicked out of Barnes and Noble for moving all the bibles to the fiction section."
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AAATripper
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Joined: 17 May 2005
Posts: 1085
Location: Everywhere and Nowhere...
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| Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 1:47 pm Post subject: |
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<Khassaki> HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!
<Judge-Mental> try pressing the the Caps Lock key
<Khassaki> O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!
<Judge-Mental> fuck me
I lol'd
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Bloo
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Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3131
Location: vertigo
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| Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 6:32 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | <Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao |
| Quote: | <MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<goatboy> bastard |
| Quote: | <Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
<Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough.  |
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Aramor
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Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 14131
Location: On a cyborg unicorn pony!
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| Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2009 1:15 pm Post subject: |
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This has got to be the most awesome bash quote ever!
| wrote: | <D4> Want to hear my idea for a Star Wars porno?
<Jolyon> Only if Han shoots first |
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| Photoshopperholic wrote: | | Mighty Lord Aramor |
Fail of the day:
| Syn wrote: | | your balls didn't get suck |
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Digitaaliklosetti
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Joined: 19 Apr 2005
Posts: 1850
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| Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2009 2:11 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 |
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bitchez n hose |
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Simon_Says
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Location: Being generally opposing.
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| Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 10:32 am Post subject: |
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Eh?
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Aurelyn
Moderator
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Location: Aw Hell No!
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| Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 12:16 pm Post subject: |
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I think my favourite is the story about the kid that bites your man in the grocery store and he tells her mom he's HIV positive. Tremendous.
Edit: Actually, on reading down, the one about the potato being a much better symbol of love than a rose is good too.
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Da Fro-mastah of da aLp Forums!
| Master Chainsaw wrote: | | Aurelyn becomes enraged by imbecilic displays of illiteracy, as is his wont. |
| Simon_Says wrote: | | Sal would know. He stole many jobs from guys named Shaun. |
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Sal
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Joined: 29 Jul 2005
Posts: 4625
Location: home and such
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| Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 4:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Aurelyn wrote: | | I think my favourite is the story about the kid that bites your man in the grocery store and he tells her mom he's HIV positive. Tremendous. |
great minds think alike.
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i have no time for anal love
| Simon_Says wrote: | | Sal, you're my favourite member again. |
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