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Forum contest - e-marriage to Ipsa
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Bloo



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Joined: 30 May 2006
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 2:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

REGRET wrote:
I was not even half serious when I was posting. I'm secure enough in my forum-masculinity to prevent myself from getting e-married to some ladytype. Also, everyone already knows that I'm e-married to myself. My e-honeymoon was filled with e-wanking, remember? I'm e-a-sexual.


Wait, you'd rather get married to another guy than Ipsa? And that guy is yourself? And you're e-a-sexual? And another thing.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Also, I for one think this whole forum contest is wrong. A women should be able to choose who she wants to be with, not being forced to be with the winner of some contest. Shame on you all!
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Ipsa



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PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 4:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blue Reindeer wrote:
Also, I for one think this whole forum contest is wrong. A woman should be able to choose who she wants to be with, not being forced to be with the winner of some contest. Shame on you all!

I do get to choose.
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Forumgoer Unavailable



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PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 5:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blue Reindeer wrote:
REGRET wrote:
I was not even half serious when I was posting. I'm secure enough in my forum-masculinity to prevent myself from getting e-married to some ladytype. Also, everyone already knows that I'm e-married to myself. My e-honeymoon was filled with e-wanking, remember? I'm e-a-sexual.


Wait, you'd rather get married to another guy than Ipsa? And that guy is yourself? And you're e-a-sexual? And another thing.

What the fuck is wrong with you?


Don't judge me. You'll never understand my love for myself.
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Bloo



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PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 8:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ipsa wrote:
Blue Reindeer wrote:
Also, I for one think this whole forum contest is wrong. A woman should be able to choose who she wants to be with, not being forced to be with the winner of some contest. Shame on you all!

I do get to choose.


...Dah, I forgot that the whole point of this was so that you got to choose. My plans, they've failed me.
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Crotchfire



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Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 527
Location: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmmm. It occurs to me that there's been no update on this contest for the past week. Perhaps the pot needs stirring...and isn't Ipsa a touch older than I am (24)? Giggity.

THERE IS A NEW CHALLENGER!


Firstly, I must state that my intentions are strictly dishonorable. Thus, I am honorably making them clear from the get go.

Ipsa, ah lovely Ipsa, I shall first sweep you away to the San Diego harbor, where we would share a bacon and avocado sub on Italian herb bread with all the fixin's on the waterfront, watching the meandering passage of boats and discussing the proper number of "KE"s to precede a zergling rush.

We'd then travel just a bit north to scenic Orange County, the town of Irvine. You might be uncertain as to why I'd visit a suburb of LA until we drive by a fenced in campus with one central building with the letters "Blizzard Entertainment" on it. Yes, I'll somehow manage to obtain a tour of the facility.

Then we'd fly to Las Vegas for dinner at the Spago to improvise dirty limericks over bowls of paiella.

It's here that I'd pop the question:

Though I'm occasionally lacking in tact,
I'm fun and spirited to interact,
So for Aliens' and Predators' sake,
Ipsa, please won't you take
My proposed e-marriage pact?

Should you accept, I'll take you aboard my mobile skybase manned by peg-legged pirates and dancing bears and we'll bring the world to its knees. This state-of-the-art mobile skybase has its own incinerator, and thus you'll never have to worry about taking out the garbage again.

DISCLAIMER: Although this poster asserts that he is absolutely free of venereal disease, despite his better-known alias, there remains a substantial risk of catching lycanthropy from him. Symptoms include howling at the moon, badass claws, increased speed, stamina, climbing and jumping skills, involuntary transformation during times of stress, and a trace of a Hungarian accent. Lycanthropy is not for everyone, consult your doctor beforehand.
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Crotchfire wrote:
Firstly, I must state that my intentions are strictly dishonorable. Thus, I am honorably making them clear from the get go.
Crotchfire, paraphrased, wrote:
Me, I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for. Because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly…stupid.

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Aramor



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 3:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Crotch, if Ipsa won't say yes, can I?
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 3:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jolly Aramor wrote:
Hey Crotch, if Ipsa won't say yes, can I?
FAWCON... PAAWWWNCH!
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 3:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not touching that one with a ten foot pole. (TEN FOOT POLE?!)
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Carlo Sandiego



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 3:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You Know Who wrote:
Not touching that one with a ten foot pole. (TEN FOOT POLE?!)


Only ten feet?

Low standards you have! Readjust perspective you must!
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BaconNeggs



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PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ipsa wrote:
cfos wrote:
Is anyone else kinda curious as to whether Ipsa has any "deal-breakers"?? You know, like voting republican or refusing to recycle...

Nerds/Geeks: good.
Idiots: bad.
Must like animals.
Must like bacon or have liked bacon in the past
Won't make me watch a chick-flick
Will take out the trash

I think that might be about it... Oh, and good personal hygiene.


Whoa whoa... man, i wish I'd seen this contest earlier. I need to skim thru the other 6 pages of this thread and get back to this.
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Ipsa



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PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*so much to catch up on with this* Razz Wink
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not one to trash another man's efforts at e-love, but since Munan had declared all the way back in the first page, I do have to explain why my proposal is better than Aurelyn's...
Aurelyn wrote:
...joy of the grammar nazi...
...a sprinkle of my rogueish Irish charm...
One capitalization error and one spelling error.

... or CF's...
You Know Who wrote:
DISCLAIMER: Although this poster asserts that he is absolutely free of venereal disease, despite his better-known alias, there remains a substantial risk of catching lycanthropy from him. Symptoms include howling at the moon, badass claws, increased speed, stamina, climbing and jumping skills, involuntary transformation during times of stress, and a trace of a Hungarian accent. Lycanthropy is not for everyone, consult your doctor beforehand.
As well as fleas, vulnerability to silver, making other animals flee in terror, smelling really bad after getting wet, being known as a 'furry', and a tendency to lick your privates in public.

Sorry guys, but Munan demanded that bullshit.

*Sighs* Here we go...

Ipsa, I'm sorry I delayed so long. I was working on my proposal, something I was hoping would just sweep you off your feet. But that ended up transforming into a personal ego trip, a giant illusion where I masquerade myself as a knight in shining armour, a crusader who conquered dragons. But you already know me, don't you? I'm not a knight in shining armour. I'm likely not a knight by any standard, really. I'm as flawed as the next man. I can't really provide either. What can I offer you, Ipsa, besides a good laugh or bit of keen insight every now and then? I'm just a guy with big dreams. But I'm trying, Ipsa, I really am. Ipsa, you've always been the fairest maiden of this forum, and all I want to be is your e-knight. I know I don't deserve you, but could an e-knight in rusted armour do? Will you e-marry me?
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Carlo Sandiego



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PostPosted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 12:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says (translated) wrote:
I'm using the power of humility! SHAZAM! CAPTAIN MODEST!


He's pretty crafty for an endangered species.

You're a badass, Simon. I still hope I win, but there is no denying that you are indeed a badass.
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Last edited by Carlo Sandiego on Sun Jan 11, 2009 1:44 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 11:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey hey HEY!!

Slander, libel, gross exaggeration! I've never had fleas, I shower daily (and I don't reek when wet. If anything, when wet I tend to smell like Oil of Olay. The shea butter kind keeps your skin from getting dry), I'm not flexible enough to lick my own privates, in public or otherwise, cats freaking love me (I've no idea why. Even really skittish cats will sit in my lap, which is odd for a werewolf.), and... a furry joke?! From an anthropomorphic panda, such a thing reeks of bad form! I won't deny the silver thing, though. It's really a pain in the ass when I go to a fancy dinner and folks get out the expensive silverware. I'm always the only one asking for a stainless steel fork. But that's beside the point. To accuse me of being a lascivious man would be one thing, but to accuse me of bad hygiene?!

BAD FORM!!

My honor has been besmirched! I demand satisfaction!

I challenge you... to a game of scrabble! CHOOSE YOUR LETTER! I got an 'R'.

Or at the very least I'll be on ARRGH's side in the current forum RPG, even though it seems to be progressing rather slowly.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 4:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah... I still say Ipsa should e-marry me. I mean, I'm me. And others have gone before her, so I'd say I'm a pretty good e-catch.
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Azrael



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PostPosted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 7:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:
Ipsa, I'm sorry I delayed so long. *surprising modesty* Will you e-marry me?

Now that think about this, he can provied a fine source of brüe, if that holds your fancy. And it's not often that you get an oppurtunity to marry a panda.

Also worth noting; Who will wed Ipsa and her choice?
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BaconNeggs



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, so I've decided to illustrate my proposal in pictures rather than saying it in words. As a bonus forum game within a game, other people can write the narrative to the seemingly random collection of images, but it needs to follow the order of the pix.
Maybe one day when i'm bored I'll write my own

(Also of note, these are all my work in some way, I wasn't just googling images)



























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Aramor



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 8:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

BaconNeggs wrote:
As a bonus forum game within a game, other people can write the narrative to the seemingly random collection of images, but it needs to follow the order of the pix.


Do I get first price?
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Nron



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 8:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jolly Aramor wrote:
BaconNeggs wrote:
As a bonus forum game within a game, other people can write the narrative to the seemingly random collection of images, but it needs to follow the order of the pix.


Do I get first price?


Wow. Very well thought of Aramor. Once I get more of a feel for the pics then Ill post my own.
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Aurelyn
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 9:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:
I'm not one to trash another man's efforts at e-love, but since Munan had declared all the way back in the first page, I do have to explain why my proposal is better than Aurelyn's...
Aurelyn wrote:
...joy of the grammar nazi...
...a sprinkle of my rogueish Irish charm...
One capitalization error and one spelling error.


Curses. Very Happy

At least I proposed when, you know, the contest was still fresh. If this thread was the equivalent of a romantic dinner out, Ipsa would have walked out hours ago and you would be sitting there in the dark, afraid to move in case the alarm went off.
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Aurelyn becomes enraged by imbecilic displays of illiteracy, as is his wont.


Simon_Says wrote:
Sal would know. He stole many jobs from guys named Shaun.
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BaconNeggs



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 4:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nron wrote:


Wow. Very well thought of Aramor. Once I get more of a feel for the pics then Ill post my own.


There will be no feeling up of pics in this game.
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Forumgoer Unavailable



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PostPosted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 3:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's it! I've grown tired of this charade! *Whips out e-revolver*

Nobody move! Ipsa, I DEMAND you make your choice of the established suitors! Or there will be dire consequences...

And they involve e-being shot. Yeah.

Also, Crotch, what do you want with Ipsa? She's not a MILF, so far as I can tell.
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 10:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why not? I mean yeah, she may not be a MILF in the cougar sense of the word, but she loves bacon, man, she loves bacon! That's hot.
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 10:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You Know Who wrote:
I've never had fleas, I shower daily (and I don't reek when wet. If anything, when wet I tend to smell like Oil of Olay. The shea butter kind keeps your skin from getting dry)
But can you back up those claims?
You Know Who wrote:
I'm not flexible enough to lick my own privates, in public or otherwise
Didn't stop you from trying.
You Know Who wrote:
and... a furry joke?! From an anthropomorphic panda, such a thing reeks of bad form!
I'm an e-panda, not an actual panda. To think I was an actual panda sitting at a desk lurking on an internet forum is just ridiculous, like pink dragons.
You Know Who wrote:
To accuse me of being a lascivious man would be one thing, but to accuse me of bad hygiene?! BAD FORM!!
Well, it was a legitimate argument since Ipsa's list contains a clause stating that potential candidates for her hand in marriage had to have good personal hygiene. And when I cast doubt on your hygiene, you suddenly go on the defensive. I think that's a bit revealing...

Aurelyn wrote:
At least I proposed when, you know, the contest was still fresh. If this thread was the equivalent of a romantic dinner out, Ipsa would have walked out hours ago and you would be sitting there in the dark, afraid to move in case the alarm went off.
Oh, so I should have been there at the same dinner and right after you proposed, I should have bust out the shiny ring right after you did? Does that mean Ticktock, Aramor, Waffle,, CF, and BaconNeggs also just happened to be at the same restaurant, and just decided to propose to Ipsa for the hell of it? Well that seems a bit awkward...
I just took Ipsa out to another dinner on a different date. By the way I really suggest the bacon-wrapped scallops at <Insert Personal Favourite Restaurant Name Here>.

And Ticktock, the world just isn't enough, mate.

Aramor, all your previous e-wives disappeared. Do you really want Ipsa to disappear too?
Waffle... wait who the hell's Waffle anyway?


You Know Who wrote:
My honor has been besmirched! I demand satisfaction! I challenge you... to a game of scrabble! CHOOSE YOUR LETTER! I got an 'R'. Or at the very least I'll be on ARRGH's side in the current forum RPG, even though it seems to be progressing rather slowly.
I beg you to reconsider. CF, I said I'd didn't want to do it, but Munan demanded it. Please don't blame me, blame the Ancient of Mu Mu. As for my duel with Ticktock, don't worry, it's still on. It only stalled because Azrael is proving to be a rather unsuitable second.

-Edit- Also, Regret, go easy man! Go easy!
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