Holy shit guys!

Digitaaliklosetti · Gender: Joined: 19 Apr 2005 Posts: 1850

Holy shit! I just ate a bee! Or were bees the jolly fat ones that you can slap around without getting stung?

If so, not a bee, but a wasp!

The fuckers aren't realizing that there's an autumn going on and there's a nest right under my window. Apparently one flew and sunk into my yoghurt while I was busy answering nature's call.

I took some in my mouth and chewed on the fruity bits.

Or at least, that was my intention. Only like, a few nanoseconds before my jaws met, it occured to me that fruit isn't supposed to go "buzz buzz".

Take that, fucking bee. Wasp. Thing.

Bet I could eat a stingray. I'd do it too, just out of spite.
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bitchez n hose

Aramor · Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 5:18 pm Post subject:

Bees can sting you... and then they'll they...

Wasps can sting you and then they'll do it again... and again...

Wasps are nature's way of saying "Bend over junior, and take it like a man!"
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Simon_Says · Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 6:01 pm Post subject: Re: Holy shit guys!

That might be the greatest story ever told.
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Bloo · Gender: Joined: 30 May 2006 Posts: 3131 Location: vertigo

Unless, of course, Calvin & Hobbes # 1 doesn't come to mind...

Munan · Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 5:31 am Post subject:

You're sure it wasn't a humblebee?

?

Those are the jolly fat ones you can slap around without being stung. Or, if you're of a gentler mind, you can actually pet them.
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The Justified Ancient of Mu Mu

Digitaaliklosetti · Gender: Joined: 19 Apr 2005 Posts: 1850

After some image googlery, I found out that it was indeed a wasp.

I should make a habit of this. Fuck, I should make a living out of this! Some sort of a pest control gig, where instead of carrying loads of poisons and traps in a ridiculous looking van, I'd just pour some yoghurt over the nest.

I might not be famous of being more humane than the other companies, but I'd sure as hell be more entertaining to watch.
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bitchez n hose

Sal · Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 7:51 am Post subject:

i, for one, would watch your show every friday.
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i have no time for anal love

Aramor · Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 9:28 am Post subject:

Simon_Says · Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 5:50 pm Post subject:

Digit, what's your buisness number?
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Sal · Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 6:43 am Post subject:

AmberEyez_Proclaims · Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 7:51 am Post subject:

Credit to Eric Idle and Monty Python!

Eric The Half A Bee.
INTRO: Take it away Eric the Orchestra leader..

ORCHESTRA LEADER: A-one, two, a-one two three four..

( Piano - introductory flourish )

LEAD SINGER: ( Speaks to piano accompaniment )

Half a bee, philosophically,
Must ipso facto half not be.
But half a bee, has got to be,
Vis a vis its entity.
- D'you see?
But can a bee be said to be
Or not to be an entire bee,
When half the bee is not a bee,
Due to some ancient injury?

- Singing!...

ALL SING: La di di, one two three,
Eric the Half a Bee.
A B C D E F G
Eric the Half a Bee.

LEAD SINGER: Is this wretched demi-bee
Half asleep upon my knee,
Some freak from a menagerie?

ALL SHOUT: No! It's Eric the Half a Bee.

ALL SING: Fiddle di dum, fiddle di dee,
Eric the Half a Bee,
Ho ho ho, tee hee hee,
Eric the Half a Bee.

LEAD SINGER: I love this hive employ-ee-ee,
Bisected accidentally,
One summer afternoon by me,
I love him carnally.

ALL SING: He loves him carnally.

LEAD SINGER: Semi-carnally.

(Speaks)

The End.

VOICE: Cyril Connolly?

LEAD SINGER: No, semi-carnally.

VOICE: Oh.

ALL SING: (Quietly)

Cyril Connolly

( Ends with elaborate whistle. )

Digitaaliklosetti · Gender: Joined: 19 Apr 2005 Posts: 1850

Show? What fucking show? I didn't say anything about a show.

Although I suppose it'd work as a TV show. I'd be big in Japan.

If I had my own show on radio or television, be it a talkshow(something I've actually dreamed about for quite a while) or a bit of me eating things that go buzz in the night, I'd want the theme song to be Tempo by Rasmus. The whole song. Every show would have a 5 minute intro and outro. With the shortest credits ever.

The backround for the looping credits would be snapshots of me dancing at train stations.
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bitchez n hose

Bloo · Gender: Joined: 30 May 2006 Posts: 3131 Location: vertigo

Interesting... I'de watch it ever Friday and Monday. Cool

Aramor · Posted: Sat Sep 09, 2006 9:21 am Post subject:

wrincewind · Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 1:10 pm Post subject:

it might be easier to whistle if you take that nobel prize for forum whoring out of your mouth.
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there once was something funny here.
then again, perhaps not.

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