Utter and Random Chaos!

[Azrael]

I never finished my duel with Telveryon.

*Jumps up in the air and brings down both blades*
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Only the strongest will survive.

Married to SpideyGirl.

[Telveryon]

*Just as the blades are about the conect the Timestop spell take efect (100% legitiamte AD&D spell so get off me), turns around and looks at Mango immoblie in mid-flight then take a right sep just as the spell wares off and unprepared, Mango bites the dust* Ouchy!
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^Don't click the picture!
Medieval speak doth be a trademark of Telveryon & Telveryon_Recites Inc.

[Pieh]

*has to go to the bathroom*
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:|

[Aramor]

*Blows up the bathroom*
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[Complex_Number_States]

[Aramor]

*Grunts*

*Builds a bathroom 2.0*

--Commercial--

Bathroom 2.0

Everything you ever looked for in a bathroom, only better!

With an automated toilet paper checker who automatically replaces the toilet paper whenever you want.

An automatic flushing system that activates as soon as you are done.

A clapper for the lights so you never have to search for that light switch again.

And ofcourse a fully interactive Artificial Intelligence system that entertains you while you're on the crapper. Ever played Counterstrike while taking a dump? Just ask Winshit XP (eXtrmely craPpy) and you'll be fragging noobs while you're extending your spinal column. Do you enjoy jerking off on the toilet? Just ask Winshit XP to browse to your favourite porn site and it will be displayed on a 50" HD LCD Plasma Screen with Dolby Surround sound. Ofcourse the Bathroom 2.0 is completely soundproof, so you can moan as loud as you want.

Order your Bathroom 2.0 today and get a free French maid to open the door for you.

Warning: due to the lack of skilled engineers to create the Bathroom 2.0 we had to use a variety of tree-dwelling creatures, commonly known as monkeys to build it. Unfortunately one of the monkeys had 300 pounds of weed stuffed up his ass which they all smoked. Therefore some functions of the Bathroom 2.0 might not work completely. Here is a list of the things that will most likely not work the way we just said they would:

The automated toilet paper checker's internal sensors are missing, therefore the toilet paper will be constantly replaced, making it impossible for you to wipe your ass.

The automatic flushing system does have internal sensors... who are accidentally installed in the automated toilet paper checker so that the toilet only flushes when you're running out of toilet paper. Since the toilet paper is constantly replaced... the toilet will never flush. Also, the stoned monkeys forgot to add a manual flusher.

The clapper's sensitivity was also implemented by the stoned monkeys... so it will react to every sound. Even the sound of you thinking (which most likely will not happen that often when you actually bought this product). Unfortunately, due to the afore mentioned malfunctioning toilet paper replacing cycle... the light will go on and off constantly. The Bathroom 2.0 is therefore not suited for people who are sensitive to epilepticness.

Winshit XP however does exactly what we say. You can play Counterstrike and watch porn. And that's all you can do. Unfortunately, the keyboard and mouse are missing so you will have to use voice commands. Also, the Counterstrike version is for ancient Egyptian. So you will have to say the commands in ancient Egyptian.
Luckily the porn function works fine. Except for the fact that Winshit XP only has one link for a porn site. Which consists mainly of she-male midget porn. Actually, it only consists of she-male midget porn. With German voice-overs.
Also the 50" HD LCD Plasma Screen is actually an Etch-A-Sketch...

Luckily, the Bathroom 2.0 is 100% soundproof. And burglar proof. When the door is locked, no one can get in or out without the password. Which is in ancient Egyptian and changes every other day or so. So when the situation arrises that the Bathroom 2.0 goes up in flames, due to the fawlty wiring, you will be completely incinerated along with the toilet paper and the Etch-A-Sketch.

...

Blame the monkeys.

Also, the French maid is actually a 50 year old guy called Bob. And he's not French. We actually don't know where he's from.
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[Pieh]

*has to go to the bathroom 2.0*
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:|

[Bloo]

[waits in line, and realizes he's waiting at the exploded bathroom, so it takes him 57 mins. aprox. to walk five steps, and then he realizes someone is already using the washroom, so he pisses himself and an onlooker laughs himself to death]

[Telveryon]

*While laughing and rollong on the floor after the Bathroom 2.0 commercial, accidentaly waves a hand in the bathroom's dirrection. A huge meteor plummets towards it.* Oh, shit! *Run for the nearest crapproof shelter*
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^Don't click the picture!
Medieval speak doth be a trademark of Telveryon & Telveryon_Recites Inc.

[Sal]

small print? who reads small print?
*buys Bathroom 2.0.*
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i have no time for anal love

[Tyris]

Wahey: An idiot's duel thread!
*puts in mail order for retrometabolisation beam*
*whilst waiting, sets about furniture with rapier*

[Complex_Number_States]

[Simon_Says]

Go go gadget pogo rocket pack!

And indeed, this lounge does suck, I'm going to the great hall. *Leaves*
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[Telveryon]

*Secretly follow yon Simon_Say to the great hall with yon grin on his face*
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^Don't click the picture!
Medieval speak doth be a trademark of Telveryon & Telveryon_Recites Inc.

[Complex_Number_States]

[Aramor]

*Starts rigging the Great Hall with explosives and prepares another commercial*
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