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Crotchfire

Gender:  Joined: 06 Jun 2005 Posts: 527 Location: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
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Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:47 pm Post subject: |
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The first thing I'd do is I'd defecate off the edge of the tallest building I could find.
I'd then find a friend with a large pickup truck, put a mattress in there, and have unprotected sex with a random chick while the truck was going 90 MPH on a really twisty road near the edge of an absurdly high cliff.
If I survived that, I'd start a fist-fight with every male cheerleader at my school, then I'd break into a gun store and pick off every person at my college who had ever run for student government (I don't like politicians).
If by now I'm still alive, I'd hire thirty prostitutes so I could have "Death by Snu-Snu".
If somehow they all die before me, then I'm obviously invincible, so the world isn't going to end... at least not for me. _________________ The official MILF-masta of the AlP forums.
In addition to my well-documented exploits, my first two initials are MF. Seriously, I'm not making that up. |
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Munan Moderator

Gender:  Joined: 30 May 2005 Posts: 3232 Location: Living on my own
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 5:54 am Post subject: |
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Are you trying to say you might be our saviour?
Are you? _________________ The Justified Ancient of Mu Mu |
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angelusraptor

Gender:  Joined: 04 Apr 2005 Posts: 1699 Location: Singapore; with a cup of Premium Evil
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 6:18 am Post subject: |
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Oh Milf, our saviour... _________________ Certified Evil Bastard. Serving your cuppa at Starbucks Terminal One Arrival Hall, Singapore. The one who started Premium Evil's tea. |
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helmet boy

Gender:  Joined: 20 Aug 2005 Posts: 1239 Location: either a small room or a big box
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 8:47 am Post subject: |
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would find as much yaoi and mail it to aramor before sticky taping his face on all of the pictures. not the best of plans is it.
also
"ALL BOW DOWN TO THE MILF, THE PROTECTOR OF ALP KIND!" _________________ Meh |
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Munan Moderator

Gender:  Joined: 30 May 2005 Posts: 3232 Location: Living on my own
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 9:26 am Post subject: |
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No, he's not, don't you see?
Our Saviour would come at the end of the world...
Right, I see... We've all be misinterpreting that line... _________________ The Justified Ancient of Mu Mu |
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Sal

Gender:  Joined: 29 Jul 2005 Posts: 4625 Location: home and such
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 10:06 am Post subject: |
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| Crotchfire wrote: | "Death by Snu-Snu".
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yes, the best form of capital punishment ever conceived in an animated series! [pun on conceived intended.]
and
| Munan wrote: | | Are you trying to say you might be our saviour? |
hey, that's my turf!  _________________ i have no time for anal love
| Simon_Says wrote: | | Sal, you're my favourite member again. |
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angelusraptor

Gender:  Joined: 04 Apr 2005 Posts: 1699 Location: Singapore; with a cup of Premium Evil
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 11:20 am Post subject: |
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I sense a really bad pun in the next post... *shifty eyes* _________________ Certified Evil Bastard. Serving your cuppa at Starbucks Terminal One Arrival Hall, Singapore. The one who started Premium Evil's tea. |
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Robot Chicken Koko

Gender:  Joined: 27 Feb 2006 Posts: 1130 Location: gettin' my learn on
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 11:53 am Post subject: |
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The Horror. The Horror. _________________ "Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love." - Albert Einstein |
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Samy

Gender:  Joined: 05 Oct 2005 Posts: 233
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 12:22 pm Post subject: |
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hmm, i drew up a timed plan for when the world would end in 30 minutes with some friends, can't find it right now though... basically it was all about getting shitfaced, robbing liquor stores to get more shitfaced, killing drugdealers to get shitfaced with their stuff, have a good ol' street battle/shootout and have sex...a lot
now how we fitted that into 30 minutes beats me  |
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Crotchfire

Gender:  Joined: 06 Jun 2005 Posts: 527 Location: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 12:23 pm Post subject: |
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I am thy Messiah! Welcome my love or despair! Embrace thy mother and send her to me to be part of my salvation! My message is simple: send me thy mother and be apathetic about politics and ye shall be saved! _________________ The official MILF-masta of the AlP forums.
In addition to my well-documented exploits, my first two initials are MF. Seriously, I'm not making that up. |
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Aramor

Gender:  Joined: 29 Mar 2005 Posts: 14131 Location: On a cyborg unicorn pony!
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 3:05 pm Post subject: |
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No! He is lying! There is only one personal savior! And his name is Sauron! Join the Dark Side and together we shall rule the end of the world like Dante and Randall! Repent, repent, for the end is nigh! _________________
| Photoshopperholic wrote: | | Mighty Lord Aramor |
Fail of the day:
| Syn wrote: | | your balls didn't get suck |
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Digitaaliklosetti

Gender:  Joined: 19 Apr 2005 Posts: 1850
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 3:36 pm Post subject: |
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God called just to say that you're both absolute cunts.
He should know. _________________ bitchez n hose |
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Crotchfire

Gender:  Joined: 06 Jun 2005 Posts: 527 Location: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 6:05 pm Post subject: |
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Well, you're obviously not going to be saved. _________________ The official MILF-masta of the AlP forums.
In addition to my well-documented exploits, my first two initials are MF. Seriously, I'm not making that up. |
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Sal

Gender:  Joined: 29 Jul 2005 Posts: 4625 Location: home and such
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 6:05 pm Post subject: |
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why does God call only Digit?
is it the leather? _________________ i have no time for anal love
| Simon_Says wrote: | | Sal, you're my favourite member again. |
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Crotchfire

Gender:  Joined: 06 Jun 2005 Posts: 527 Location: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 6:21 pm Post subject: |
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God calls 4 kinds of people
Sociopaths,
Drugged people,
People trying to sell a book,
and last, but not least,
People trying to sleep with your mom. _________________ The official MILF-masta of the AlP forums.
In addition to my well-documented exploits, my first two initials are MF. Seriously, I'm not making that up. |
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helmet boy

Gender:  Joined: 20 Aug 2005 Posts: 1239 Location: either a small room or a big box
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Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 8:39 pm Post subject: |
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stay away from my mom crotchfire! _________________ Meh |
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Munan Moderator

Gender:  Joined: 30 May 2005 Posts: 3232 Location: Living on my own
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Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 2:08 am Post subject: Blasphemous rumours |
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| Salvatore wrote: | why does God call only Digit?
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Well, you know, I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours, but I think that God has a sick sense of humour, so obviously He and the D. have a lot to talk about.
I expect them to have contact on a regular basis. _________________ The Justified Ancient of Mu Mu |
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Digitaaliklosetti

Gender:  Joined: 19 Apr 2005 Posts: 1850
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Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 2:25 am Post subject: |
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Dude had his number in the yellow pages until -99. I called him up, to see if he wanted to sign up for the Absinth Of The Month club(I had this weekend job as a telemarketer). After about 10 minutes of trying to convince him to buy, as there are numerous good reasons for getting a bottle of absinth every month, we just started chatting. He's a nice enough guy to talk to. Usually I don't even like talking on the phone. Did you know that God loved X-Com? Julian Gollop got a spot in Heaven, like, instantly after that.
I did get sorta fired for talking about non-absinth related things on the company phone. On the bright side, I heard that the manager got killed a week later, in a freak accident, involving porcelain and a bear in heat. _________________ bitchez n hose |
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Munan Moderator

Gender:  Joined: 30 May 2005 Posts: 3232 Location: Living on my own
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Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 3:58 am Post subject: |
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Yes, that happened to an evengelical Christian in my country as well, he was just fiddling with the phone and suddenly, hey presto, there was the Big Man Himself answering.
Poor guy was scared out of his wits. God said, okay, I'm bored, say what? I'll come down and we'll have some fun. The man was so worried, wondering whether God should be received with coffee or with tea.
If I were to meet God, I'd get my hair done, instead of worrying about such trivial things. _________________ The Justified Ancient of Mu Mu |
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Aramor

Gender:  Joined: 29 Mar 2005 Posts: 14131 Location: On a cyborg unicorn pony!
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Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 7:34 am Post subject: |
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If I was meeting God, I'd ask him/her if he/she wants to watch Dogma and give his/her opinion... _________________
| Photoshopperholic wrote: | | Mighty Lord Aramor |
Fail of the day:
| Syn wrote: | | your balls didn't get suck |
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Ipsa

Gender:  Joined: 25 Aug 2005 Posts: 1631 Location: Wherever God takes me.
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Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 7:48 am Post subject: Re: Blasphemous rumours |
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| Munan wrote: | Well, you know, I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours, but I think that God has a sick sense of humour, so obviously He and the D. have a lot to talk about.
I expect them to have contact on a regular basis. |
Or maybe he was reaching out to touch faith. _________________ "Yeast devil! Back to the oven that baked you!" |
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Satan Crime Wash

Gender:  Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 1980
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Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 8:22 am Post subject: |
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| Digitaaliklosetti wrote: | | Julian Gollop got a spot in Heaven, like, instantly after that. |
He should undergo apotheosis and be reborn as the God of Strategy Games. There will be three signs: The unknown enemy, the terror from the deep and finally the apocalypse. Beware the false prophet known as 'Enforcer'.
Thanks Digit, you've reminded me that I still haven't imported a copy of Rebelstar for the GBA. Next time you speak to God, see if you could get Him to send Bill Hicks back to us. I'd really appreciate it. _________________
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amyltrer

Gender:  Joined: 23 Apr 2005 Posts: 1678 Location: On a trophy wall
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Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 8:38 am Post subject: |
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Does God grants three wishes per meet? Cuz if He does I'll quit my hellsluggard job. _________________
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Munan Moderator

Gender:  Joined: 30 May 2005 Posts: 3232 Location: Living on my own
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Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 6:33 am Post subject: Re: Blasphemous rumours |
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| Ipsa wrote: | | Munan wrote: | Well, you know, I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours, but I think that God has a sick sense of humour, so obviously He and the D. have a lot to talk about.
I expect them to have contact on a regular basis. |
Or maybe he was reaching out to touch faith. |
Or looking for a personal Jesus?
Or, wanting to play master and servant. Now that I could picture the two of them enjoying together...
Yes, that would be a clear sign that the end is nigh... seeing the D. and God down on their knees, treating each other like a dog... _________________ The Justified Ancient of Mu Mu |
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Ipsa

Gender:  Joined: 25 Aug 2005 Posts: 1631 Location: Wherever God takes me.
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Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 8:00 pm Post subject: Re: Blasphemous rumours |
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| Munan wrote: | Or, wanting to play master and servant. Now that I could picture the two of them enjoying together...
Yes, that would be a clear sign that the end is nigh... seeing the D. and God down on their knees, treating each other like a dog... |
Just as long as it isn't a question of lust. _________________ "Yeast devil! Back to the oven that baked you!" |
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