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Simon_Says VS Aramor RPG! Read first post!
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Who do you vote for?
ARAMOR THE FORUM WHORE ETRAORDINAIRE!
53%
 53%  [ 26 ]
SIMON_SAYS THE PANDA SHOGUN!
46%
 46%  [ 23 ]
Total Votes : 49

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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 3:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah I did. But as I explained, I still got control over the LoFG.

And this is in Manhattan, in/around the Weyland Yutani skyscraper.
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 4:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Allrighty then! Here I go.

Deep within the darkest basement of the Weland-Yutani corporate headquarters, two middle-aged, portly men sat surrouned by glimmering candles and Satanic imagery.
Joe, this ain't gonna work. You and I both know the Devil isn't real, the shorter, fatter of the two said.
Would you rather take that chance, and continue shipping parcels for the company, or would you rather live the rest of your mortal existence praised as kings of Earth? the other man replied.
The fatter man paused for a moment.
Let's summon us a fuckin' devil! he finally said.
The less fat man began chanting Satanic verses, his nasal voice echoing throughout the underground storage facillity. As he continued to chant, the walls began to shake and the pentagram beneath the two men began to glow.
The man's voice rose to a shout as a deafaning storm rushed through the underground corridor, brining with it ghostly skulls that snapped at the men. With a climactic final verse, the two men stepped back from the crudely drawn pentagram, which had suddenly caught on fire. Then, the howling wind stopped, and there was silence for a moment.

*Is-is it over?* the fatter man whispered.
Suddenly, a firey blast opened up a portal, which seemed to be itself belting out screams of agony. Out stepped a gigantic creature, bulging with masses of grey muscle. It looked at the two men. It's head was hunched forward, and was supported on its thick neck and trapezius muscles. Two tiny, beady, milky-blue eyes stared out of the fleshy, torn skin above it's massive mouth. Saliva dripped down from it's massive teeth. It's upper body was vaguely humanoid; the rib cage was deepened to make way for the head, and it beared only four-clawed extremities on its hands, opposable thumb included. Its leg structure resembled a goat's hind legs, terminating in feet with clawed toes. Likewise with the rest of the frame, the musculature was large and prominent. It carried in it's hands what appeared to be a massive, solid metal gun, modifiyed to fit the creature's gigantic fingers.
After a short pause of eerie silence, the massive beast walked over to the men, bent down and began to emit a deep, guttural growl.

RRRRAGGUHHHH-Ah! Jeez! Sorry about that, had something in my throat. the beast began, in a cheery, but still incredibly deep voice.
A-a-are y-you...S-S-S-S-Satan?one of the men asked, trembling wildly.
Satan?! Do I look that short to you?! the monster inquired.No, my name's Regret. I'm just a lowly Hellknight. One of his minons. Satan sent me up here to bring back a very special soul. Some panda warrior, or something. Satan loves panda bears, you see, and he shows his affection through torture. So he gave me this big fucking gun here, that he confiscated from some guy...his name escapes me...anyways, he wants me to kill him and send him back to Hell with me, to ensure he recieves only the finest agony anyone can recieve, for all eternitiy.
S-s-so y-you're...not going to eat us? the other man asked.
By Lucifer's beard, no! You were the one who summoned me! And because of that, I will grant you one wish. he answered cheerily.
Just one?! We sacrificed our eternal souls for one wish?! the less fat man said, and sighed.I guess if we have to have just one, we'll have-
-A turkey sandwich! his tubby colleague interjected.
WHAT?!! the other man howled.
Done! the hellknight said, and clapped his muscly claws.
With that, a turkey sandwich appeared on the ground, and the fatter man ran to grab it. As his enraged colleague ran up to him, the fatter man began weeping.

This, he blubbered, is the best turkey sandwich I have ever eaten.
WHY THE HELL DID YOU WISH FOR A TURKEY SANDWICH?!! the other man shrieked.WE COULD HAVE HAD A THOUSAND TURKEY SANDWICHES WHEN WE WERE KINGS OF THE WORLD!!
I know. the fatter man replied.But I was hungry now.
Gentlemen, I hate to interrupt, but now that you're finished your sandwich, I'm afriad I'm going to have to kill you.
the demon said apologetically. And with that, he lifted his massive gun and fired a massive orb of green plasma, obliterating the two fat men completely.
Nice couple of guys. he said to himself.It'll be nice to see them again when I get home.
And so, he trudged off towards the service elevator, and bent over to squeeze inside the tiny compartment.
My, this is uncomfortable. he concluded as the doors closed.
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Captain Pancake



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 2:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Looks fun. I'll make my Intro post when Im not half asleep.
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wrincewind



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PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 7:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*cackles madly*
it's ALIIIIIIVE!
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 4:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Someone post, dammit. I look like a jackass.

...more so.
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 11:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Salvatore fell down two flights of stairs when the immense blast was triggered. He shrugged off the pain as he continued climbing upwards, vengeance flooding through his mind. When the floor started to layer with rubble Sal stopped and walked through the empty doorway, to see a huge doglike figure looking down over the skyscraper wall.

Christ, is that a -?

Sal looked under the xenomorph, and the breath escaped his lungs. Simon was clinging on the ledge, looking as if he went through a meat shredder. It was not that which surprised Sal so. It was Simonís eyes. In his short acquaintance with him, Sal only knew the Simon who exuded gusto and bravado, the adventurer who always laughed in the face of danger. It was so strange to see a giant pandaís face contort with panic and grief. Sal winced as Aramor brought his tail down, and Simon fell.

Salvatore stood paralyzed, faintly hearing a crunch as something hit the pavement below. He watched as Aramor stared for a few seconds, and then make his way towards an exposed ventilation duct. Sal then noticed himself rushing towards something shining in the rubble... Simonís old pistol. Sal then remembered his fingerís old strength, and brought it up, blazing the muzzle of the barrel in Aramorís direction as the xenomorph darted through the tubes. He apparently didnít hit anything, the metal wasnít burning through.

Sal emptied the wheel, but kept clicking incessantly at the known long gone Aramor. Sal surprised himself when he noticed his hand wasnít shaking. Salís heart wasnít even pounding. He walked over and glimpsed below, both wanting and not wanting to see what might lie below...


*****

It took half an hour before the brass on ground level could come to an agreement what was going to happen.

Two soldiers shouldered their guns and walked cautiously towards the huge lump that just fell from above. The pavement was cracked, and the Panda Shogun was twisted in impossible ways. One of them whispered ďWhat the fu-.Ē They tapped the body with their gun barrels, somehow imagining that the corpse might still be alive. Not that they didnít have reason, so much strange shit happened in the last 24 hours.

The two soldiers were flung outwards as a great black beast bored its way through. It didnít seem to even mind that it was being drilled by hundreds of rounds of lead. It paused before the corpse, growling something unintelligible. He scooped up the corpse, darted his head back a moment, and then leapt into the shadows.

There was no blood trail to follow.


*****

Light. All was light. Or he thought it was light. It wasnít exactly light. It was not his eyes being stimulated by electromagnetic radiation. It was something entirely different. So alien, and yet so familiar.

Things came into focus. But again it could not be focus, there was nothing to focus... It wasnít form or color he perceived. It was more emotion and idea. All around, he recognized wisdom, power, judgment, fear, pity, pride, pain, and hate. It was difficult to readjust from a thousand years of alien thought and understanding.

He tried to open his eyes, but his eyes proved useless, as there was nothing to see, nor odors to smell. Not even sensations to feel. Nothing to listen to. Yet he heard. He heard all too well.



He was surrounded by things, dozens of insubstantial things. He started to recognize.
He was back. They brought him back.


*****

Simon's still dead, so don't get any wrong ideas. Also whoever can translate it first gets a free prize of their choosing from da pandaman, as long as it's within feasible bounds.

Also Sal, Munan, peoples of the LOFG, please take back your characters. I'll play them if I really have to, but I find it makes a more fun experience when the characters are being acted out by their creators. One person handling all the puppets does tend to dilute and homogenize personalities, abilities, etc. quite a bit.
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 12:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well everyone complained about the RPG being dead and now that I tried to resurrect it no one says anything?
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 2:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, I'm still thinking about how to continue...
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Frost



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PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 5:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Personally, I think we need to start a new one, with new or the same characters.
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Sal



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PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 8:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i wasn't complaining.
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Sal, you're my favourite member again.
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 5:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:
Well everyone complained about the RPG being dead and now that I tried to resurrect it no one says anything?


*Lame Movie Optimus voice* OOPS, MY BAD.

*Squeaky children voice* Thank you Mister _Says!
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