So I learned today..

Aramor · Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:07 am Post subject:

Lucky for me my boss has a desktop and a screensaver that is definitely NSFW... then again, he might frown upon Giger art.
_________________

Carlo Sandiego · Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 5:37 pm Post subject:

Aramor · Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 7:03 pm Post subject:

Well, he always gets those emails with those nicely crafted (cough) Powerpoint presentations, and some of them contain rather NSFW material... well, the ones we mostly laugh hardest about have some rather hardcore porn images. Anyway, he had one with a bunch of pictures, all with the theme "New Windows Desktops", namely a Windows desktop and some random nude woman.

So ofcourse I took all the pictures from the presentation, put one of them on his desktop and made his screensaver consist of a slideshow of those pictures. That was like 3 or 4 months ago and he still hasn't changed them Razz

_________________

Carlo Sandiego · Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 7:20 pm Post subject:

That's one damn entertaining boss.

I learned today that subsidized massive corn agribusiness in the US combined with Free Trade are why we have an Illegal immigration problem. I find the irony on manufacturing your own immigration problem to be almost excessive.
_________________
Why must the government repress our god-given right to no pants?

Digitaaliklosetti · Gender: Joined: 19 Apr 2005 Posts: 1824

I learned today that how prepared you think you are, those crafty russians will always find a way to surprise you.

My mother's boyfriend(or would that really be manfriend? like, not husband.) got a whole bunch of smuggled russian cigarettes from his buddy(they're incredibly cheap compared to local prices) and gave me a few packs. Now I've already had all kinds of kooky experiences with these things. Everything from cigarettes cut with sawdust, to cigarettes that give you like an interesting 10 second high and an instant pounding headache coupled with nausea, to cigarettes with a firecracker hidden in them.

I am now faced with a whole new trick. Glue. There's fucking superglue on the filter.

I popped the thing in my mouth, lit it and noticed how fast I got it attached to my lower lip. I thought it was just dry spittle that did it. I thought it was pretty cool. I was kinda like those 'rock police' you sometimes see in bars, looking actively disappointed in the band, hanging that damn cigarette there.

So I close my lips on it, happily smoking away, watching The Muppet Show on Youtube. I notice a big bit of ash, just waiting to fall in my lap, so I raise my hand from my pants to my face, snag the cigarette and start bringing it to the ashtray... except I can't. It's stuck. I try pulling harder and just stretch my lips. By now I even taste the glue.

I try pulling it some more and it becomes apparent that if I try to take it by force, I'll end up taking a nice, fleshy bit of my lips with it.

I am currently trying to think of ways to get it the fuck off. It's still there, right now.

I'm going to try water. If that fails, I'll just try and burn it.
_________________
bitchez n hose

Aramor · Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:52 pm Post subject:

Maybe some terpentine or something will do the trick...
_________________

Digitaaliklosetti · Gender: Joined: 19 Apr 2005 Posts: 1824

Actually, it really would have. Unfortunately, I had none. I soaked it with hot water for a couple of minutes and the filter just kinda dissolved.
_________________
bitchez n hose

Naraku-sama · Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 1:32 am Post subject:

I learned that laughing too hard isn't good for you...

Aurelyn · Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:21 am Post subject:

Digitaaliklosetti · Gender: Joined: 19 Apr 2005 Posts: 1824

I doubt it. Mainly because he's not too bright, and I'm pretty sure he can't sneak in superglue through two layers of plastic and carboard. Secondly, because these are from Russia with love, with the L&M logo shoddily copied on the pack and these things tend to have surprises. If it's not for cost-cutting reasons, it's someone in the garage assemblyline with a sense of humour.
_________________
bitchez n hose

Aramor · Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 5:07 pm Post subject:

Next up: cigarettes enriched with uranium!!!
_________________

Naraku-sama · Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:40 pm Post subject:

Carlo Sandiego · Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 2:08 am Post subject:

I learned that there is such a thing as finnish cello metal.

(Apocalyptica)

UNRELENTING JOY.

The concept is so amazingly awesome. It helps that they're not half bad.
_________________
Why must the government repress our god-given right to no pants?

Sal · Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 6:34 am Post subject:

Aramor · Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 8:02 am Post subject:

Hey, give him a break. Remember Munan and Nirvana? Razz

_________________

Carlo Sandiego · Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 1:01 pm Post subject:

Sal · Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 4:23 pm Post subject:

Carlo Sandiego · Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 5:24 pm Post subject:

Yes, but the west coast is a big place. I might be from any number of cities.

Then again, you could find me by flying over the entire west coast in a colossal battle-zeppelin surrounded by fighters, throwing sandwiches down to the ground and screamming TTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!
WHERE ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE YYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOU.
_________________
Why must the government repress our god-given right to no pants?

Azrael · Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 9:17 pm Post subject:

Alternate Spideygal · Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 9:53 pm Post subject:

Ahh I still think Az is either from Cali like San Jose or Los Angeles.
_________________

Married to Azrael.
Queen of Innuendo.

Azrael · Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 10:18 pm Post subject:

What narrowed it down to those two choices?
_________________
Only the strongest will survive.

Married to SpideyGirl.

Alternate Spideygal · Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 11:11 pm Post subject:

Hmm...when you talked about your mom driving you down to Mexico...I thought about the distance and time it would take to get there...
_________________

Married to Azrael.
Queen of Innuendo.

Aurelyn · Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 7:04 am Post subject:

Aramor · Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 9:18 am Post subject:

And before you know it, he'll receive an Aramorogram!
_________________

Satan Crime Wash · Gender: Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 1980

	Alien Loves Predator Forum Index -> General B.S.	All times are GMT - 5 Hours page Previous 1, 2, 3 ... 62, 63, 64 ... 73, 74, 75 Next
Page 63 of 75