Stu's fantasy life

bernieh · Site Admin Gender: Joined: 17 Oct 2004 Posts: 947

Alllll riiight! Stu has suggested we move the chatter about his fantasy life to its OWN TOPIC. So that's what we're doing. It is, after all, the most popular conversation going on around here.

Stu · Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 1:26 pm Post subject:

I go from having a 0% chance with her to a whopping 0.000001% chance. At least my odds are improving. All I need now is a lot of hair, lose 30 pounds, grow about 8 inches, and have muscles. Oh, and a lot of money.

I probably have a better shot with Natalie Portman nowadays. Or Bern's crush, Lindsay Lohan. They're both Long Islanders, so I have something close to in common with them. And with Portman, I have religion too!

Oliver · Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 121 Location: Princeton, NJ

Seven of any movie could get annoying? Besides Bond, you might want to rethink your decision to see the next Harry Potter movie.

I actually think the seven Narnia books are more different from each other than the Potter books. The characters vary quite a bit.

Stu, maybe she's looking for someone *not* like Brad Pitt now - in which case, we can all go to the front of the line. Wink

Stu · Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 8:47 pm Post subject:

OK, 0.00001% chance. It's still worse than Natalie Portman, where it's probably 0.00002%.

bernieh · Site Admin Gender: Joined: 17 Oct 2004 Posts: 947

Stu, I think Natalie would be offended that you think you have twice the chance with her than you do with Jennifer Aniston.

Stu · Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 11:23 pm Post subject:

Bernie, should I go up or down?

Here's why I would have a better chance with Natalie Portman:

1) She went to Harvard, so she's got to be smarter.
2) Same religion (at least the folks would be happy; both mine and hers)
3) She's younger
4) After Moby, even people who look like Jason Alexander has got to have some shot, right?

Dean · Gender: Joined: 25 Oct 2004 Posts: 147

Hell, Britney Spears actually MARRIED Jason Alexander.

Oliver · Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 121 Location: Princeton, NJ

Is her being smarter going to make you more appealing, or less appealing? Very Happy

I was in grad school at MIT when she was at Harvard and I remember hearing a story that some guy sent out a mass email to the entire school asking someone to give him her email address.

I didn't meet her, but it sounds like she's actually pretty cool.

Stu · Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 11:45 am Post subject:

You know which Jason Alexander I'm referring to, Dean.

Her being smarter (I did mean compared to Jennifer Aniston, but she can be smarter than me and I would be fine with that. I'd already have to deal with her making a freakin' lot more money than me) has got to make me more appealing. At least we can have conversations about anything that can last a long, long time.

bernieh · Site Admin Gender: Joined: 17 Oct 2004 Posts: 947

Conversations like how hot you think Jennifer Aniston is but how you tragically had no realistic shot with her, so you ended up with Natalie.

Stu · Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 1:17 pm Post subject:

Who I also have no realistic shot with either.

Oliver · Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 121 Location: Princeton, NJ

Maybe you can play them off against each other. Use their natural jealousy to your advantage. Or tell them both that you've been spending a lot of time with Lindsey Lohan.

Dean · Gender: Joined: 25 Oct 2004 Posts: 147

Hell, the Harry Potter movies are getting made even if God (or Brad Pitt) objects.

As for Ms. Hershlag, her "dating" Moby may indicate that you have LESS of a shot. I will say no more.

Stu · Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 10:14 pm Post subject:

OK, enough of my fantasy non-existent love life. I will almost certainly never meet Ms. Aniston, Ms. Portman or Ms. Lohan in my lifetime.

Oliver · Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 121 Location: Princeton, NJ

Well then whose fantasy non-existent love life should we talk about?

bernieh · Site Admin Gender: Joined: 17 Oct 2004 Posts: 947

Zakalwe · Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 7 Location: U.K.

How about " Hey! Weren't you in Star Wars?, Man I LOVE those movies".
What lady has ever been able to resist the approaches of an avid Star Wars fan?

You'd better plan it out though. What would you do if it actually did happen and all you can think of is tastless quotes from gibbering ALP board members?

Stu · Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2005 12:42 pm Post subject:

Oliver · Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 121 Location: Princeton, NJ

bernieh · Site Admin Gender: Joined: 17 Oct 2004 Posts: 947

It's Lindsay, not Lindsey, get it straight, and no, I'm not obsessed with her.

So who is this "other fantasy girlfriend" then, Stu?

Speaking of smart actresses we used to have a crush on, did you know that Danica McKellar (Winnie from the Wonder Years)...

Zakalwe · Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 7 Location: U.K.

Oliver · Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 121 Location: Princeton, NJ

Whoa! Go Danica. OK I looked it up and for the record, the journal is "Journal of Physics A: Mathematics and General" while the paper is Percolation and Gibbs State Multiplicity for Ferromagnetic Ashkin-Teller Models on Z^2. As in Edward Teller, the father of the H-bomb. The Ashkin-Teller models interpolate between the 4-state Potts and Z_4 models - but you probably knew that. You can find the paper here.

Dean · Gender: Joined: 25 Oct 2004 Posts: 147

I suspect you've angered Bernie with that Transformers thing.

Multiplicity... I remember that... clones... funny. No, seriously, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???

Oliver · Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 121 Location: Princeton, NJ

Condensed matter physics and its relation to Stu's fantasy life. What the hell are you talking about? Wink

Stu · Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 5:46 pm Post subject:

Except for the match part, which obviously has something to do with my fantasy life, and Danice McKellar, who may or may not have anything to do with my fantasy life,

What the HELL are you all talking about???

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