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Stu's fantasy life
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bernieh
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 1:26 pm    Post subject: Stu's fantasy life Reply with quote

Alllll riiight! Stu has suggested we move the chatter about his fantasy life to its OWN TOPIC. So that's what we're doing. It is, after all, the most popular conversation going on around here.
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Stu



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 1:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I go from having a 0% chance with her to a whopping 0.000001% chance. At least my odds are improving. All I need now is a lot of hair, lose 30 pounds, grow about 8 inches, and have muscles. Oh, and a lot of money.

I probably have a better shot with Natalie Portman nowadays. Or Bern's crush, Lindsay Lohan. They're both Long Islanders, so I have something close to in common with them. And with Portman, I have religion too!
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Oliver




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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 4:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seven of any movie could get annoying? Besides Bond, you might want to rethink your decision to see the next Harry Potter movie.

I actually think the seven Narnia books are more different from each other than the Potter books. The characters vary quite a bit.

Stu, maybe she's looking for someone *not* like Brad Pitt now - in which case, we can all go to the front of the line. Wink
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Stu



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 8:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK, 0.00001% chance. It's still worse than Natalie Portman, where it's probably 0.00002%.
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bernieh
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 3:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stu, I think Natalie would be offended that you think you have twice the chance with her than you do with Jennifer Aniston.
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Stu



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PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 11:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bernie, should I go up or down?

Here's why I would have a better chance with Natalie Portman:

1) She went to Harvard, so she's got to be smarter.
2) Same religion (at least the folks would be happy; both mine and hers)
3) She's younger
4) After Moby, even people who look like Jason Alexander has got to have some shot, right?
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Dean



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PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 11:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hell, Britney Spears actually MARRIED Jason Alexander.
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Oliver




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PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 12:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is her being smarter going to make you more appealing, or less appealing? Very Happy

I was in grad school at MIT when she was at Harvard and I remember hearing a story that some guy sent out a mass email to the entire school asking someone to give him her email address.

I didn't meet her, but it sounds like she's actually pretty cool.
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Stu



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 11:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You know which Jason Alexander I'm referring to, Dean.

Her being smarter (I did mean compared to Jennifer Aniston, but she can be smarter than me and I would be fine with that. I'd already have to deal with her making a freakin' lot more money than me) has got to make me more appealing. At least we can have conversations about anything that can last a long, long time.
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bernieh
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 12:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Conversations like how hot you think Jennifer Aniston is but how you tragically had no realistic shot with her, so you ended up with Natalie.
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Stu



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 1:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Who I also have no realistic shot with either.
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Oliver




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PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 1:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe you can play them off against each other. Use their natural jealousy to your advantage. Or tell them both that you've been spending a lot of time with Lindsey Lohan.
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Dean



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 4:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hell, the Harry Potter movies are getting made even if God (or Brad Pitt) objects.

As for Ms. Hershlag, her "dating" Moby may indicate that you have LESS of a shot. I will say no more.
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Stu



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 10:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK, enough of my fantasy non-existent love life. I will almost certainly never meet Ms. Aniston, Ms. Portman or Ms. Lohan in my lifetime.
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Oliver




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PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2005 1:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well then whose fantasy non-existent love life should we talk about?
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bernieh
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2005 4:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oliver wrote:
Well then whose fantasy non-existent love life should we talk about?

I say we talk about Stu's instead.

Stu, so you've got those 4 slam dunk advantage points on Natalie Portman. What do you actually say to her when she asks you if the seat across from you at your cafe table is taken?
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Zakalwe




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PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2005 7:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

How about " Hey! Weren't you in Star Wars?, Man I LOVE those movies".
What lady has ever been able to resist the approaches of an avid Star Wars fan?

You'd better plan it out though. What would you do if it actually did happen and all you can think of is tastless quotes from gibbering ALP board members?
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Stu



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PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2005 12:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

bernieh wrote:
Oliver wrote:
Well then whose fantasy non-existent love life should we talk about?

I say we talk about Stu's instead.

Stu, so you've got those 4 slam dunk advantage points on Natalie Portman. What do you actually say to her when she asks you if the seat across from you at your cafe table is taken?


I say "No, please sit down", and either (a) she takes the chair to the table she's going to sit at (which obviously isn't mine), (b) piss off the other fantasy girlfriend I am actually at the cafe with but who is powdering her nose at the present time, pretty much guaranteeing a cup of coffee in my lap sans the mug when she comes back, or (c) she sits down, and I mean to ask her "So, what are you drinking?" to start a conversation but all that comes out it some sort of gibberish.

As you can tell, my confidence level is sky high. Oh yes.
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Oliver




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PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2005 3:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zakalwe wrote:
You'd better plan it out though. What would you do if it actually did happen and all you can think of is tastless quotes from gibbering ALP board members?


Then he'd be golden. What lady - or man, for that matter - could resist the debonair grace of tha ALPosse?

Stu wrote:
(b) piss off the other fantasy girlfriend I am actually at the cafe with but who is powdering her nose at the present time


The other fantasy girlfriend being, presumably, Lindsey. You'd better be careful - 10-1 odds says Lindsey could wipe the floor with Natalie, unless Ms. Hershlag-Portman happens to be packing an imperial blaster.
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bernieh
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 3:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's Lindsay, not Lindsey, get it straight, and no, I'm not obsessed with her.

So who is this "other fantasy girlfriend" then, Stu?

Speaking of smart actresses we used to have a crush on, did you know that Danica McKellar (Winnie from the Wonder Years)...
Quote:
... graduated from UCLA with a BA in Mathematics in June of 1998. While there, she had a paper published in Britainís "Journal of Physics" called "Mathematics & General" which provided a mathematical proof for a theorem dealing with magnetism in two dimensions.

Whaaaa?

Oh... and apparently she did voice work as Jubilee in X-Men Legends (the PS2 game), and for EverQuest II.
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Zakalwe




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PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 6:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

bernieh wrote:


Oh... and apparently she did voice work as Jubilee in X-Men Legends (the PS2 game), and for EverQuest II.


Not quite the fall from grace that became Eric Idle, Leonard Nemoy and Orson Welles in "The Transformers: The Movie". I want to meet the guy that pitched it to them. Actually there is a surprisingly large number of recognisable names in that cast list.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092106/fullcredits.
Including Judd Nelson as Hot Rod / Rodimus Prime. Wow. You learn something every day.
Pity it isn't any of the huge pile of revision i should actually be doing.
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Oliver




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PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 10:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whoa! Go Danica. OK I looked it up and for the record, the journal is "Journal of Physics A: Mathematics and General" while the paper is Percolation and Gibbs State Multiplicity for Ferromagnetic Ashkin-Teller Models on Z^2. As in Edward Teller, the father of the H-bomb. The Ashkin-Teller models interpolate between the 4-state Potts and Z_4 models - but you probably knew that. You can find the paper here.
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Dean



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 1:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I suspect you've angered Bernie with that Transformers thing.

Multiplicity... I remember that... clones... funny. No, seriously, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???
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Oliver




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PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 4:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Condensed matter physics and its relation to Stu's fantasy life. What the hell are you talking about? Wink
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Stu



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 5:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Except for the match part, which obviously has something to do with my fantasy life, and Danice McKellar, who may or may not have anything to do with my fantasy life,

What the HELL are you all talking about???
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