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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 3:00 am    Post subject: Verbal Swordplay Reply with quote

The other day I was having a bullshit conversation with a friend of mine. He's the type of guy who always trashtalks. It doesn't matter what he's doing, or with whom, or how the conversation started. It always, ALWAYS ends up with him making sideways comments about (whoever he's talking with) being gay.

I was on the losing end of this trashtalking session, so I decided to change direction. I said:

"Yeah fine, whatever, I'm gay. Hey Jon, how old is your mom? Is she going to be visiting any time soon?"

Now, I know that this isn't that great for most people in a trashtalk session, but for me it's especially relevant, now that my recent history with older women is known amongst my friends.

BAM! That's the first time I've ever seen him without a comeback... The implicit threat that I might just end up in bed with his mom scared the SHIT out of him... and his reaction means that his mom just might be a MILF, so I haven't discarded the possibility of hitting on his mom. Twisted Evil
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Draconis




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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 10:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's... Why... What?
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 10:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

All hail the MILF Master!!!

*Looks at some dude in the row next to him*

You're not hailing fast enough!!! Hail him now!!!
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Satan Crime Wash



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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 10:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just out of interest Crotchfire, do your friends call you Shitbreak by any chance?
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Draconis




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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 10:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe your friend trashtalks because secretly he's a homosexual homophobe.
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 4:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heh, no, the only nicknames my friends ever call me are Crotchfire (when I'm online), Vaqueiro (when I play capoeira), and Matt (that should be pretty obvious :/ ).

Though in all honesty, I wouldn't be insulted by that nickname, seeing as how he gets Stifler's mom and all.

...and my friend, yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if he did turn out to be a homosexual homophobe. Seriously, at least half of everything he says involves him calling someone else gay.

I'm more of a live and let live kind of guy... and oh yeah, don't forget to introduce me to your mom Twisted Evil
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Metal_Pred



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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 5:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

it seems to me its not healthy starting to hit on everyone's moms...
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 6:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Crotchfire wrote:
...and my friend, yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if he did turn out to be a homosexual homophobe. Seriously, at least half of everything he says involves him calling someone else gay.


Yeah, like Jason Biggs in Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back...
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Ipsa



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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2005 11:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just as long as you don't hit on your own mom...
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Khushi



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PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 3:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ipsa wrote:
Just as long as you don't hit on your own mom...


LOL
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Telveryon



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PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 7:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ipsa wrote:
Just as long as you don't hit on your own mom...


And I thought I was evil!
Advice: Try to reason with him tell the guy to quit it, if he doesn't give him a few right hooks for good measure, I would but that's just me.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 1:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ipsa wrote:
Just as long as you don't hit on your own mom...


Somehow I'm beginning to get the idea that Crotchfire has a big poster of Oedipus on his wall...
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 1:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Post obsolete through bannage of other member.
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Last edited by Aramor on Sun Dec 04, 2005 9:40 am; edited 1 time in total
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Satan Crime Wash



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PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 2:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aramor wrote:
Somehow I'm beginning to get the idea that Crotchfire has a big poster of Oedipus on his wall...


Ah! my poor Crotchfire, known, ah, known too well,
The quest that brings you hither and your need to bang everyone's mother
Ye sicken all,
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2005 3:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ewwwwww...

While I like banging other people's moms, I somehow doubt that I could be interested in a woman my mother's age (she's 57). Personally, I think that the ideal age is from 35-45.

Oedipus... nasty!
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Metal_Pred



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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 7:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Crotchfire wrote:

While I like banging other people's moms, I somehow doubt that I could be interested in a woman my mother's age (she's 57). Personally, I think that the ideal age is from 35-45.



But how about a woman thats say...your age?
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elephantsyay



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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 10:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oh homosexual homophobes, i have no pity. but this all reminds me. i was playing never have i ever (game where you state things youve never done and people who have done said thing have to raise their hand, usually very dirty/just plain wrong) with my house (dorm) last year.. and my mom (??? she was visiting and walked in on the whole thing and they decided to play on??? and she had a fun time??? now my entire house thinks my mom is the shit) so anyway, its this one friend of mine's turn and she said "never have i ever... propositioned my friends MOM!" and turns to scowl at the girl next to her, because in this game we like to single people out... and yes, she totally raised her hand, because she had entirely asked that friend of mine's mom out to dinner once while they were drunk. i hear it went something like this
friends mom: you know she never comes to visit, i always have to come here and its not like she even invites me. i just feel so underappreciated.
friend of the friend: you know what? thats not cool. i appreciate you though, what if i invite you over.
friends mom: that would just be so nice. a nice change from the usual.
friend of the friend: yea, and i'd totally take you out to dinner, i'll pay, no worries
friends mom: you know thats the sweetest thing anyones said to me in a long time
friend (completely sober): 8-O

oh. and i totally had the hots for a MILF over the summer. she was a rabi, and hot hot HOT!
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Telveryon



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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 11:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

elephantsyay wrote:
oh homosexual homophobes, i have no pity. but this all reminds me. i was playing never have i ever (game where you state things youve never done and people who have done said thing have to raise their hand, usually very dirty/just plain wrong) with my house (dorm) last year.. and my mom (??? she was visiting and walked in on the whole thing and they decided to play on??? and she had a fun time??? now my entire house thinks my mom is the shit) so anyway, its this one friend of mine's turn and she said "never have i ever... propositioned my friends MOM!" and turns to scowl at the girl next to her, because in this game we like to single people out... and yes, she totally raised her hand, because she had entirely asked that friend of mine's mom out to dinner once while they were drunk. i hear it went something like this


Don't want to insult anyone but can someone translate that cuz I din't understand a thing.
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elephantsyay



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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 1:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Telveryon wrote:
elephantsyay wrote:
oh homosexual homophobes, i have no pity. but this all reminds me. i was playing never have i ever (game where you state things youve never done and people who have done said thing have to raise their hand, usually very dirty/just plain wrong) with my house (dorm) last year.. and my mom (??? she was visiting and walked in on the whole thing and they decided to play on??? and she had a fun time??? now my entire house thinks my mom is the shit) so anyway, its this one friend of mine's turn and she said "never have i ever... propositioned my friends MOM!" and turns to scowl at the girl next to her, because in this game we like to single people out... and yes, she totally raised her hand, because she had entirely asked that friend of mine's mom out to dinner once while they were drunk. i hear it went something like this


Don't want to insult anyone but can someone translate that cuz I din't understand a thing.

hey, sorry. i'm not particularly insulted, and i have my own reasons for that, but i'll try to simplify it.
part one: friend A came onto friend B's mom while they were both drunk. friend B was understandably freaked out. both friends are lesbians.
part two: i was playing never have i ever with my college friends and my mother when this came to light.
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AAATripper



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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 1:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

part two still needs some punctuation to separate the different sentences/subjects
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elephantsyay



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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 1:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tripper wrote:
part two still needs some punctuation to separate the different sentences/subjects

if this is a forum of grammar nazis then i can leave. it's one thing to not understand what someone is talking about, but it's another when you're just nit-picking. i'm not writing an essay here.
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AAATripper



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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 1:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

elephantsyay wrote:

part two: i was playing never have i ever with my college friends and my mother when this came to light.


I'm am probably one of the least grammatically inclined members of the forum, but this hear is damn near unreadable.
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elephantsyay



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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 1:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tripper wrote:
elephantsyay wrote:

part two: i was playing never have i ever with my college friends and my mother when this came to light.


I'm am probably one of the least grammatically inclined members of the forum, but this hear is damn near unreadable.

right... well i don't feel like continuing this conversation (at least not here), but if there are other people who agree with tripper, let me know.
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Satan Crime Wash



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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 2:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I read and understood it perfectly well. It was a bit 'stream of consciousness' which may confuse non-native English speakers. You're a damn sight more legible than HDS that's for sure.
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elephantsyay



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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 3:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mr Chainsaw wrote:
I read and understood it perfectly well. It was a bit 'stream of consciousness' which may confuse non-native English speakers. You're a damn sight more legible than HDS that's for sure.

thanks mr chainsaw (hahaha that was so fun to write). i do write in a stream of consciousness sort of way a lot, and sometimes i'm hard to understand (both on the interweb and in person) but i try not to let it get me down if some grammar person is giving me a hard time, because a lot of them won't understand a word if i start talking sweet science to them.[/i]
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