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Carlo Sandiego



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Joined: 19 Dec 2007
Posts: 1090
Location: An Undisclosed Unlocation

PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 12:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A voice, low and calm, floated from the bushes as it's owner stepped lightly into view. Sir ARRGH was a hardened but lean man of indeterminate age, with an impassive and vaguely ironic expression. He was dressed in surprisingly ordinary clothing; a forest-green tunic and somewhat loose dark blue trousers. There were no visible weapons except for a fighting dagger sheathed on his right hip and a hand-axe he was idly tossing from hand to hand.

I am interested by how you came here, stranger. As much as my current....situation...dominates my mind, it interests me that a man from--apparently--another universe should mysteriously appear in our midst.

He turned to Shamus, smiling slightly.

No need for your sword, Lord Shamus. I feel that this individual is unlikely to attack unprovoked.


he walked closer, examining this "CF" closely. Cold eyes missed no detail, the kind of stare that leaves it's recipients feeling that they've been held up to a measuring stick.

Since you appear to be stuck in this world, you are welcome to stay at my Tower, CF.
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Last edited by Carlo Sandiego on Fri Jan 16, 2009 12:54 am; edited 1 time in total
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Aramor



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Location: On a cyborg unicorn pony!

PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 7:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shamus: CF eey? Well, this lad here'll answer all those questions ye asks. I'm too drunk anyway.

Shamus puts the claymore back and reaches for his hip... where he finds nothing.

Shamus: Ah crap, I left me flask back at tha inn. Well, back to town ey! Sir ARRGH. CF.

Shamus salutes both men, then turns around and heads back to town.
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Crotchfire



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Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 527
Location: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 2:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I certainly appreciate your most hospitable offer... Sir ARRGH, is it? But barring my entrance to here... wherever here is... am I really in another world? I've been living in southern California. I'd assume that if we belong to the same world you'd know of it... and we're both speaking English, so that makes it seem likely that this is the universe I've always known... although given what just happened, who knows?

I'm babbling. What a weird day. Does your tower happen to have high-speed internet? I could probably figure out whether this is my universe or not then.

You know, I could really use a stiff drink.

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Forumgoer Unavailable



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Joined: 23 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

(Oh, what the hell. I'll give it a real shot this time.)

Meanwhile, in a distant part of that very same forest, yet another REGRET popped into existence. Unfortunately, he had been placed into our heros' universe several stories above ground level, and had a long, painful fall through the trees. Upon the end of his descent, he stood up and began to brush himself off. Apparently, this version of REGRET lacked the nonsensical German Military motif, and instead was wearing a spotless white tuxedo. This acted as a stark contrast to his dirty, unshaven face that was ripe with sadistic intent. His gloved hands reached up to his face to feel a deep gash he had acquired during his fall through the canopy. Instead of the deep red colour one would expect to find when a wound was inflicted on what one can only assume to be human, there was only pure blackness, with thin, writhing tentacles moving within. Upon discovering the severity of his wound, REGRET began cursing in an ancient tongue, a deep guttural hiss perforated by clicks, snarls and whistles. As REGRET hunched over in pain, swearing copiously in his native tongue, a local farmer who was out looking for firewood strolled into the clearing. Noticing the clearly cheesed-off apparition on the other side of said clearing, he began to slowly edge back from whence he came. Unfortunately for him, he stepped on a small twig, which snapped surprisingly loudly. REGRET glared up angrily, but upon discovering the defenceless farmer, a malevolent grin crept over his face. Seeing the cruelty in this stranger's smile, the farmer turned tail and began to sprint, but it was a futile effort, as REGRET seemingly appeared in front of him. Grabbing the farmer by the throat and lifting him several feet into the air, REGRET began to spit out a strained version of the English language, putting bizarre emphasis on certain syllables.

W-w-hwaaat i-HISSSS...t-t-the f-FOUUUR-ssssss...offff ee-HEEVIL...hEEERE.

Th-That would be Sir ARRGH, sir. Please don't hurt me, sir, I have a family.

REGRET pondered this for a moment. His eyes darted back and forth in their sockets, examining his surroundings. After a few moments of tense silence, he loosened his grip on the farmer's neck.

Thank, you sir! Thank you! You're a saint! the farmer said, holding back tears. I will repay you for this one day, I swear it!

REGRET let the farmer take a few shambling steps toward his home before he went into action. Thin, vein-like tentacles shot fourth from his mouth and ensnared the farmer. Swarming around him like a cloud of black worms, they drilled into his skin and began to drain the moisture from his body. Within seconds, the farmer was a lifeless, dry husk.

No, REGRET said in a deep, gravely voice, seemingly free of his previous speech impediment. I don't believe you will.

He chuckled smugly, and turned to leave. He felt his face. His wound was gone, without so much as a scar. As he began to walk from the clearing, he decided upon a course of action; he would seek out this...ARRGH character, and use him to his own means. He knew this dimension far better than his predecessors.
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Carlo Sandiego



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 19 Dec 2007
Posts: 1090
Location: An Undisclosed Unlocation

PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 1:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

TheARRGH shrugged.

Well, your mode of dress is unfamiliar, and your accent is quite unplaceable. I suppose you could be from this universe--or I might be from yours, if you prefer--but I find it unlikely that you are from this planet, and assuming that there is life on another, I find it even MORE unlikely that it would develop into a being as recognizably...human...as yourself and speaking exactly the same language I do. Given the possibilities afforded by alternate universes, I would say that is the most likely explanation.

My tower does not have this "internet," but we do have a connection to the spirit world. Be careful, though, It can be quite disorienting. The inhabitants and traversers of that strange realm constantly behave very..oddly, and tempt the unwary with everything from genital enlargement to supposedly free pipe-weed. It's difficult to find any accurate information, also..much of it is arcane, absurd, cryptic, or simply moronic.

My tower's bar is fully stocked, and you can connect from there. It's just about two miles this way, follow me...

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Crotchfire



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Posts: 527
Location: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 2:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It sounds like you have s spiritual equivalent of what I call the internet... where I'm from, it's technological. I'm starting to believe that this isn't the same universe.

Alright, I'll follow you to your tower. Lead on.


...and so, CF moves to follow ARRGH to his tower, barring and wacky and unforeseen random encounters.
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The official MILF-masta of the AlP forums.
In addition to my well-documented exploits, my first two initials are MF. Seriously, I'm not making that up.
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Simon_Says



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Joined: 17 Apr 2005
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Location: Being generally opposing.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 6:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon entered his study, and immediately sat down in the chair next to a great fireplace, and nuked the embers back to life.

Simon: George!

The Pandarian's faithful Grammar Nazi appeared sooner than expected.

George: Yes Sir?

Simon was at the end of his patience. It has been a long, hard, and cold week and matters of great importance still had to be done. Matters that should have been resolved long ago.

Simon: Summon Master Chainsaw! It has been three months and we still wait for he and Azrael to stage the duel! *Slams table with fist.* I'm sick and tired of waiting!

George: Please sir, patience. I was in fact already on my way to inform you that-

Simon: What? Did they finally set a date? It's about bloody time!

George: Actually, no sir. It appears that Master Chainsaw has disappeared, as well as the lady Ipsa. The general belief is that they ran away together.

The shadows in the room seemed to deepen. Simon stood up, and his voice turned dark.

Simon: They disappeared... together?

George immediately felt his flesh crawl. He had never seen the Shogun like this before.

George: Ye-Yes sir. I am most sorry. I know how you felt about-

Simon: This turn of events is... unfortunate. *Sigh*... Another one of my supposed friends turns against me.

George: Do you wish me to start a search for-

Simon: No. It is of no matter, not now... not any more... In fact this may prove to be good fortune... Contact Lord Arrgh. Tell him I wish to meet with him in person to set a stage for the duel. It's time I took my own matters into my own hands.

George: As you say, sir.

George walked briskly away to escape the sudden chill that took him, but was interrupted at the door.

Simon: Before you leave, make sure the rest of the family knows. Master Chainsaw is no longer welcome in Castle Pandaria.
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Carlo Sandiego



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Joined: 19 Dec 2007
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Location: An Undisclosed Unlocation

PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 1:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Several minutes after the Grammar Nazi departed, He rushed back in; looking breathless and thoroughly shocked.

George: Sire! Sir ARRGH is...HERE!! He is at the gate, asking for an audience! What should we do?


Outside, Sir ARRGH (The Time-Lord of Citrus Fruit, and Sovereign Master of The Era of Da Vinci) stood ramrod-straight against the sky. He momentarily regretted not having brough any weapons beyond his standard butterfly knife--which he mostly used as a shaving-razor--and an escape-spell. However, he discounted those misgivings quickly. Whatever else he was, the Panda Shogun was not treacherous in matters of honor.
He had left the new arrival in the world back at his tower, connected to the spiritweb and under Batatao's care. The old counsellor was an excellent host, and incredible fighter...hand-to-hand (with capoeira, silat, and the Scottish Forehead technique) or with weaponry, he would be able to protect CF if...anything happened. Unlikely, but possible. Who knew what else might have been released into this world from some other plane?

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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Sat May 16, 2009 12:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd like everyone to know that this thing is still on and we'll have a conclusion to it soon.
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Azrael



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PostPosted: Sat May 16, 2009 12:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

And I assure you Cthulhu will not be present, unfortunately. He is too busy at the moment; dead but dreaming I believe.
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Sat May 16, 2009 1:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, unfortunately my Friday night plans have all fallen through... CF shall participate!
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The official MILF-masta of the AlP forums.
In addition to my well-documented exploits, my first two initials are MF. Seriously, I'm not making that up.
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Carlo Sandiego



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PostPosted: Sat May 16, 2009 9:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:
I'd like everyone to know that this thing is still on and we'll have a conclusion to it soon.


THANK FREAKING GOD.
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