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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 10:28 am    Post subject: bash.org Reply with quote

Another site to consume what little time you have on this pathetic planet, mortals.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 1:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, that made me laugh.
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Sal



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PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 7:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy
"Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z"
instant classic.

or this one:
Quote:

<Anonymous> Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cunts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it.
<Anonymous> Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cunt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! FUCK!.” By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.
<Anonymous> Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m FUCKING HIV POSITIVE.”
<Anonymous> And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cunt she is.
<Anonymous> I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.


i hope this story is true.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 9:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You gotta have a pretty big imagination to make all of it up.
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 11:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

One of my personal favourites is "I was once kicked out of Barnes and Noble for moving all the bibles to the fiction section."
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AAATripper



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PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 1:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

<Khassaki> HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!
<Judge-Mental> try pressing the the Caps Lock key
<Khassaki> O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!
<Judge-Mental> fuck me

I lol'd
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Bloo



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PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 6:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

Quote:
<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<goatboy> bastard

Quote:
<Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
<Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough. Sad
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Aramor



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Location: On a cyborg unicorn pony!

PostPosted: Sun Mar 22, 2009 1:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This has got to be the most awesome bash quote ever!

wrote:
<D4> Want to hear my idea for a Star Wars porno?
<Jolyon> Only if Han shoots first

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Digitaaliklosetti



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PostPosted: Sun Mar 22, 2009 2:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2009

Quote:
bash.org


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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 10:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Teh D wrote:
*pic*
Eh?
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Aurelyn
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 12:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think my favourite is the story about the kid that bites your man in the grocery store and he tells her mom he's HIV positive. Tremendous.

Edit: Actually, on reading down, the one about the potato being a much better symbol of love than a rose is good too.
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Simon_Says wrote:
Sal would know. He stole many jobs from guys named Shaun.
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Sal



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 4:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aurelyn wrote:
I think my favourite is the story about the kid that bites your man in the grocery store and he tells her mom he's HIV positive. Tremendous.


great minds think alike.
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Sal, you're my favourite member again.
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