Forum contest - e-marriage to Ipsa

Bloo · Gender: Joined: 30 May 2006 Posts: 3131 Location: vertigo

I mean, seriously. Early Naruto is alright and the animation is great, but it's not the best thing ever. I stopped watching it at season 4.

Also I prefer no fighting at all, it hurts. What I practice is for the purpose of health, I don't do competitions. I've always enjoyed doing stuff at culture festivals with friends, though...

Munan · Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 4:44 am Post subject:

Take it elsewhere, Bloo, this thread is about marrying Ipsa. Or at least trying to do so.

So don't forget people: this round is about us, the non-contestants, asking questions to the contestants (max three).

Here's my three:

- What's your perfect valentine evening out?
- How would you describe Ipsa to your friends?
- Would you be willing to do the one thing Meatloaf wouldn't do for love?

I expect clear and exciting answers, Aurelyn, BaconNeggs & You Know Who!
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Satan Crime Wash · Gender: Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 1980

Bloo · Gender: Joined: 30 May 2006 Posts: 3131 Location: vertigo

Alright, alright. I don't think Bacon accepted my challenge anyway.

- So here's a question, if she wanted to have e-kids, would you?

Sal · Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 4:09 pm Post subject:

my question: if Ipsa, already your e-wife, were to cheat on you with a celebrity, who should it be?
(and i mean male celebrity, it's not supposed to be like a reward or something...)
p.s. please don't answer Goran Ivanisevic.
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Simon_Says · Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 4:18 pm Post subject:

Woo melodrama!

Sal · Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 4:56 pm Post subject:

@Simon: an epic way to say goodbye if there ever was one.
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cfos · Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:29 pm Post subject:

Crotchfire · Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 7:03 pm Post subject:

When I checked the thread today, I briefly considered waiting for my competitors to answer the various questions so I might one-up them... but then I thought: In love, one ought to be bold. SO LET'S DO THIS!

Sal · Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 9:53 pm Post subject:

BaconNeggs · Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 1:05 am Post subject:

-What's your perfect valentine evening out?

*obviously the "you" is referring to Ipsa*
I like keeping things simple, so no wildly expensive dinners. We would wake up around noon, a rose beside you on your pillow.(thorns removed so you don't accidently rollover and hurt yourself) We would lie in bed for a bit either chatting or reading the paper. You get up to shower and I make you breakfast, a crepe with spinach and mushrooms. Afterwards a limo waits outside to take you for a day at the spa.
When you arrive home from doing whatever women do at spas, I will have dinner prepared. We start off with my special recipe bruschetta, followed by a bowl of chicken corn chowder(the secret ingredient is bacon). For the main course we have broiled beef tenderloin, stringbeans mixed with bacon, cauliflower, and homemade tater-tots. Laughing

After eating we relax and fire up the playstation for some games. Allowing some time to digest and pwning some noobs, i take you out for a drive. We find a special spot with a gorgeous view of the new york skyline and in the backseat I surprise you with a bottle of champagne and dessert involving sweet luscious chocolate.

- How would you describe Ipsa to your friends?

I would describe her as:
-Her eyes shine brighter than a thousand stars.(makes it hard to make eye contact, but useful if you drop your keys in the dark)
-Her smile warmer than a thousand suns.
-Her voice more beautiful than a million angels singing
-Her touch more electric than a Tesla coil
-Her scent that of a field of wildflowers
-Her hygiene a thousand times better than any Trekkie
-Her knowledge greater than a thousand Star Wars fans
-Her pwnage power greater than a thousand lvl 60 WoW players
-plus she has a cute butt

- Would you be willing to do the one thing Meatloaf wouldn't do for love?

Meatloaf never specified what "that" is, so if it involves being anally probed by a pineapple, then, uh, no.....

-if Ipsa, already your e-wife, were to cheat on you with a celebrity, who should it be?
(and i mean male celebrity, it's not supposed to be like a reward or something...)

Hmm... Vladimir Putin??
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Munan · Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 3:22 am Post subject:

Crotchfire · Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 11:08 am Post subject:

Sorry Munan, but you're wrong. There are no fewer than six things that Meatloaf won't do for love in that song.

"But I'll never forget the way you feel right now ..."
"But I'll never forgive myself if we don't go all the way tonight ..."
"But I'll never do it better than I do it with you ..."
"But I'll never stop dreaming of you every night of my life ..."

Of course, you could assume that the four things above aren't included if because they're not said explicitly as a result of questioning from the lady... but c'mon, it'd be kind of dense to make that assumption, wouldn't it?

...and you're further wrong that he replies to only one of the questions at the end with "I won't do that." There are actually two questions to which he gives this reply.

"You'll see that it's time to move on."
"I won't do that!"

"You'll be screwing around"
"I won't do that!"

Which gives us no fewer than six things that Meat Loaf has either explicitly or implicitly said he won't do. Admittedly, they're all thematically similar, but none of them are mutually inclusive, meaning if you wanted us to answer your question fully, you would have each of the contestants answering EIGHT questions, well over the limit for the purposes of this contest, seeing as how each person is only supposed to get three questions.

Hooray technicalities!
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Aurelyn · Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 11:56 am Post subject:

@ Simon. Epic.

@ Munan. I'm gonna substitute "special romantic evening out" for "valentine's evening out" because I detest valentine's day - it's a holiday made up by greeting card companies and flower salesmen that's so pressure-laden that it inevitably ends up a disappointment.

I would surprise you that morning (having previously checked that you had the weekend free Razz

) with a plane ticket to Amsterdam. I would rent a guided canal boat for our very selves, 'cos it's a wonderful way to see what is a very lovely city. After our tour, we would visit the Rijksmuseum - no trip to Amsterdam is complete without taking in at least a little Rembrandt, plus it's an absolutely spectacular building. Afterwards we might catch some open-air theatre in the Vondelpark (in the summer anyway). On to the main reason for going to Amsterdam in the first place - reservations at the Supper Club, probably the coolest restaurant/club in the world (IMO). After a night combining amazing food, great music, dance and interactive visual art we would retire to our room at the Krasnapolsky hotel on Dam Square (just so I can open the curtains and look at the Queen's palace in the morning Smile

) After a leisurely breakfast it's back to the airport and home...

To my friends:

"I've met this absolutely gorgeous chick who in addition to being ridiculously hot likes doing nerdy boy stuff too and doesn't complain about cooked swine in the morning! Also, she might actually be smarter than me!"

"In other words she's not putting up with your smart mouth then?"

"Yup, it's fantastic - there's bound to be a catch somewhere but I haven't found it yet..."

Question 3: I don't really do quick flings and I certainly don't screw around when I'm in a relationship, so no, I won't do the thing that Meatloaf wouldn't do for love. (Shame on you guys, classic tune Smile

)

@Bloo. If she wanted a kid, I'd be well up for it.

@Sal. Johnny Depp.
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Munan · Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 1:25 pm Post subject:

Crotchfire · Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 2:26 pm Post subject:

"But I'll never forget the way you feel right now ..."
"But I'll never forgive myself if we don't go all the way tonight ..."
"But I'll never do it better than I do it with you ..."
"But I'll never stop dreaming of you every night of my life ..."

Pardon? How exactly do those statements NOT answer what he wouldn't do? Simply because they're not said as immediate responses to direct questioning, never mind the fact that they're completely contextually and thematically relevant?

Screwing around isn't necessarily a consequence of moving on, nor is moving on necessarily a consequence of screwing around. Plenty of married couples screw around and are completely honest and loving with each other about it. I've been with swinging couples.

In conclusion, you spelt "lose" wrong.

...and now I have the strangest image in my head of Goran Ivanisevic playing Dracula in "Dracula, Dead and Loving it" and trading quips with Van Helsing to get the last word.
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In addition to my well-documented exploits, my first two initials are MF. Seriously, I'm not making that up.

BaconNeggs · Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 2:49 pm Post subject:

To my understanding Ipsa is the only "judge" in this contest, so any points or opinions on answers not of Ipsa's is superfluous.

But congrats to Aurelyn for winning the heart of munan, i hope you two are very happy together.
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cfos · Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 3:15 pm Post subject:

Azrael · Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 6:37 pm Post subject:

I feel that it's worth knowing what 'Ipsa' actually means in Latin. Do any of you know? And no online searches, a library is acceptable, but not the internet.
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Sal · Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 7:49 pm Post subject:

a demonstrative pronoun, she actually explained it herself one time in the olden days.

anyway:
Bacon's answer shows his appreciation of Vladimir Putin's oldschool manliness. i appreciate the invention to come up with him in the first place, it was less expected than the other names dropped. but it also shows that Bacon makes a subconscious connection between power and sex (and possibly oil too!) - a thing for Ipsa to consider?

Voldemort chose the affirmation of the nerdy fanboy ethos. and backed it up with two undisputable names. in choosing John Cleese he also let us (and Ipsa) know that the sexiest parts of a man can sometimes be brains and wit, which is commendable. however, in keeping with his outragous reputation, he went for the overkill, and chose two where one was asked. what will Ipsa make of that?

Aurelyn's the classic answer, you can't go wrong with Johnny Depp - he's the only guy that other guys can safely call hawt in public. such answer signifies good taste. but his choice has also hints of subliminal autoprojection - Depp's hotness represents the rogueish kind of hotness Aurelyn himself aspires to. how will Ipsa react to this?

overall, well done, gentlemen.
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BaconNeggs · Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 1:34 am Post subject:

Munan · Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 4:18 am Post subject:

Or he's shown himself to be an honest man. But yeah, I thought it was strange to say that as well.

Aurelyn · Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 9:05 am Post subject:

Gosh, this thread got kind of catty all of a sudden.
Allow me to enter into the spirit by rebutting Bacon's comments Smile

I was paraphrasing a conversation between me and my friends about Ipsa - firstly we call bacon "swine" because included are also bacon's friends, sausage and blood pudding, both of which are pork products, and since she wouldn't be present I wouldn't feel the need to suck up to her.

Like none of you have ever looked for a woman's faults before committing to them. Also, while I allow this may be a cultural thing, if I described any girl's voice as being like a million angels singing, I'd still be able to hear the mocking laughter all the way to the very dark hole where everyone else who commits social suicide has to hide.
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Munan · Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 9:40 am Post subject:

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