Most ridiculous sports names

[bernieh]

What are the most ridiculous sports names in history? I'm sure there's been plenty of discussions about this on other forums, but let's make our own list. I've collected quite a few over the years, but I'll start with two of my all-time baseball favorites:

One
Two (esp. with that nickname)

[Stu]

I think "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim" qualifies as one of the, if not the, worst sports franchise name in history.

[Stu]

Damned ridiculous too.

[NukeTheSiteFromOrbit]

I know this is meant to be about team names but I can't get over the name of the Irish sport "hurling". I had housemates who used to play it. The potential for injury in that game is incredible.

[Treach]

Ben Gay
Dick Shiner

[Dean]

Dick Trickle (NASCAR racer)
Bud Weiser
"Pebbly" Jack Glasscock
Tony Suck
Milton Bradley

[Yogi]

Wonderful Terrific Monds, OF, Cincinnati Reds
Stubby Clapp, 2B, St. Louis Cardinals
Fair Hooker, WR, Cleveland Browns

[Stu]

Dan Dickau
Dick Weik (or as the page has it: Weik, Dick)
Trader Horne

[Stu]

For a good team name duel, Keith Olbermann always got a kick when the Wiz played the Burn (MLS Soccer. Unfortunately, the Wiz soon became the Wizards).

[Crazi_sheila]

For Australian sports:

South Sydney Rabbitohs (the really get upset if you call them the South Sydney Rabbits)
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[Stu]

I'm not sure if this should be under ridiculous or just positively goofy, but could you imagine the Knicks playing at the Celtics at Derek Jeter Center?

Spooky.

[Oliver]

I think it's pretty funny. When it's for charity, you just milk it for amusement value. Maybe get Manny Ramirez to do the dedication or something. "Now we've got something named after Jeter all the way up here in Boston... funny, I didn't think he had that kind of range!" Ba bum chhhhh.

[Dean]

Reminds me of baseball-reference.com, where Yankee fans were sponsoring the 1918 Red Sox, 1986 Red Sox, 2003 Red Sox, etc. with taunting messages. If they're still there, they look pretty damn dumb now...

This OTOH is pretty brilliant to be honest, I hope they let it happen.

[Stu]

They rejected it, calling it obscene!

Are they fucking nuts????

[Dean]

Awww. They're the world champs, they should be able to take a joke at this point. Guess it takes more than that to make the inferiority complex go away though

[Oliver]

Um, I don't think calling it "obscene and vulgar" was meant with deadly seriousness. They're trying to be funny. The Yankee fan has Red Sox fan friends, and one of them added money to his bid. Everybody involved is having a good time, and some money was raised for the Jimmy Fund to boot.

Now if only we could raise some cash to combat the disease of people trotting out this "inferiority complex" crap at the drop of a hat.

[warmsox]

My vote goes to Coco Crisp, and the always wonderful He Hate Me
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Don't Panic

[Avalanche]

Swiss soccer team - Young Boys Bern.

Feel free to insert suitable Michael Jackson joke......

[desert_drum]

Let's see...

Catfish Hunter
God Shamgod, Scientific Mapp, Majestic Mapp (college hoops players)
Picabo Street
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"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." - Douglas Adams

[Lurchador]

Speaking of really dumb names for sports teams , last year I wrote a blurb about this very topic for our staff newsletter at work. Enjoy...

* * *

I have to admit, the Minnesota-Anaheim match-up in the NHL Conference Finals really bother me. Let’s face it: these teams possess two of the worst and least credible monikers found in pro sports.

The distinct possibility of one of these shameful names engraved on Lord Stanley’s chalice makes my blood boil. Minnesota might wear one of the most intelligent logo designs in the NHL, but their Wild name smells more like indoor soccer. Remember indoor soccer, anyone? Anyone? Mighty Ducks of Anaheim isn’t much better - and while their logo might sport a duck, it’s still a dog regardless. And they’ve got all those terrible movies as a legacy.

So, with this in mind, I now bring you this installment’s ranting schpiel entitled…

REGRETTABLE TEAM NAMES

I’ve already pointed out my two choices for National Hockey League rejects above - but awful or bizarre names aren’t something new to pro hockey.

Vancouver’s only Stanley Cup championship was won in 1914 by the Vancouver Millionaires, a team which played in the Pacific Coast Hockey Association. Now there’s nothing wrong with this rather quaint, amusing name - but one does have to really question a league proliferated by clubs called the Portland Rosebuds or Spokane Canaries. Doesn’t quite instill vast amounts of terror in the hearts’ of one’s opponents, does it eh?

The Centre Of The Universe (AKA Toronto) Maple Leafs went by the name of Toronto St. Patricks (something lame about needing the luck of the Irish to win) in the 1920s. Philadelphia’s first attempt with NHL hockey, which lasted one regrettable season buried firmly in the league cellar, went by the fearsome name of Quakers.

The 1970s saw the advent of the California Golden Seals (RIP). It took the team three years to get the name right, as they first tinkered around with California Seals and then Oakland Seals. Now, what made the Golden Seals particularly loathsome is that they wore white skates. Like Fox-Trax glowing pucks and long pants, white skates never (thankfully) caught on. Sporting their green-and-gold colours (later changing to a yellow-and-powder blue scheme), one of my fondest hockey memories has to be when I was a wee tyke of 4-years and actually getting to see this abomination skate around in action. The Golden Seals later gained the dubious distinction of being the last major pro team to throw in the towel and close up shop.

Overseas, former Canucks defenseman Randy Gregg went to Japan in the mid-1980s and toiled for a team called the Kokudo Bunnies. Hall-of-Famer Bob Gainey played his final year of hockey in France for Epinal - whose logo was a squirrel. Not quite sure what squirrels have to do with French ice hockey, because the Amiens Gothiques also used a squirrel logo before switching to a seagull. They later went back to the squirrel motif...none of which makes any sense for a team named after a tribe of barbarians.

By a long shot, the most inappropriate name for a National Basketball Association team has to be the Utah Jazz. The reason for this was the team originally played in New Orleans, but was moved to Salt Lake City around 1980 - and rumour has it the new owner was too cheap to buy new uniforms and thus the name stuck. New York Knicks is short for Knickerbockers - which can be either a type of ice cream or North America's answer to lederhösen...

The 1970s were crazy times indeed for sports. The NBA had serious competition back then from a rival organization called the American Basketball Association. Remembered these days mostly for Dr. J, big afros, and their red-white-and-blue ball, the ABA had its fair share of really stupid names. Such as the Memphis Tams (short for Tam o’shanters)… who were coincidence or not owned by the same guy with the white-skates team.

Or the Dallas Chaparrals - not named for any Western cowboy images the name may or may invoke, but rather after the hotel conference room where the team held its first meeting. One has to wonder what they would have named the team if they had met up instead down the block at the local nudie bar?

One has to go back quite a few decades to dig up name howlers from the National Football League. Corporate sponsorship of teams was frequent in those early, formative years of the NFL and 1920s football was littered by such forgotten and unloved teams as the Rochester Jeffersons, Rock Island Independents, Dayton Triangles, Louisville Brecks and one of my all-personal favourites: the Tonawanda Kardex - a wretched label reminiscent of someone gagging and/or throwing up.

Across the seas, European soccer clubs are almost always referred formally by the just locale name. However, one can make a strong case for ‘just what the heck is in the water?’ for suburban London side Watford United. Their fans refer to the team as “The Hornets” - a nickname in the truest definition - after their yellow-and-black uniforms. That makes reasonable sense… except for one glaring, overlooked detail: the team’s logo features a head-shot of probably the world’s most morose-looking moose. Hmm, I never knew that suburban London possessed any moose.

Sheffield Wednesday is a pretty odd name. I suppose that when the club was formed way back in the 1880s, someone saw this as a real nifty way to draw distinction between all the other Sheffield clubs which didn’t play soccer on Wednesdays. It must have worked well for quite awhile, because it wasn’t until 1929 that the club actually added the ‘Sheffield’ part to the name - previously known simply as The Wednesday and nothing else.

Although the league killed off the franchise a few years back, the Tampa Bay Mutiny possessed Major League Soccer’s most-questionable name. Kind of like naming a sports team the Traitors, I can just see this creating all sorts of friction between players and coaching staff… To add further confusion to the mix their logo featured of all things a futuristic-looking bat. I’m figuring their marketing director was previously employed with the bunch in Watford.

Mind you, minor league baseball had some real colourful team names. I believe the turn-of-the-centrury Southern League had a team called the Gamecocks, and there was a brief Columbus Commies team around WW1. My favourite baseball names have to be the Memphis Fever Germs and Mobile Swamp Angels. Also, all those southern New York Yankees farm teams nicknamed Confederate Yankees - that's really kind of strange. It's kinda like having a Protestant wing of the IRA...

But to wrap things up here, I shall now reveal what I think is the world’s most oddest sports team name - for your consideration, I present to you… the Macon Whoopees hockey team of 1973. The Whoopees played just half a season in the minor Southern League before going belly up.

The owner originally wanted to call the team the Macon Eggs; league officials however disagreed and said ‘no’.

[Ultimo PWNage]

Anyone remember from the XFL Dick Butkis? What was his mom smoking when he named him. And Red Sox, how gay.... oh so very gay.

[Weasel]

My favorite sports name is the football team the "Akron Zips". I don't know what the hell their mascot even IS.
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I knife-fight wild macaques.

[Stu]

There is a minor league hockey team called the Macon Whoopee.

[desert_drum]

[desert_drum]