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Bloo



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Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3137
Location: vertigo

PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 5:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck Norris counted to infanity. Twice.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there aren't any signs of life there.
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Spock



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Joined: 02 Aug 2006
Posts: 756
Location: Western US

PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 5:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.

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Bloo



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3137
Location: vertigo

PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 6:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

Chuck Norris doesnt have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out

Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.
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