Alien Loves Predator Forum Index
         
FAQFAQ    SearchSearch    RegisterRegister    ProfileProfile    Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages    Log inLog in 
They wanna catch me smokin' dirty

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Alien Loves Predator Forum Index -> Utter B.S.
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Digitaaliklosetti



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 19 Apr 2005
Posts: 1850

PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 6:41 pm    Post subject: They wanna catch me smokin' dirty Reply with quote

Okay. Okay wow.

Sometimes I think the finnish police force is just there to parody actual law enforcement.

Heres the deal:

I've been known inhale and ingest certain substances, some of which aren't quite legal. Sometimes sort of in public.

Now apparently, I could do it pretty much anywhere I want, because nobody knows what I'm doing. The police have caught me and a friend red handed without knowing it twice. One time it was joints, the other a chilum. Both times they just wanted to see our IDs, thinking we were underage smokers. Maybe they thought we were just really tired?

They have also stopped a classmate of mine and confiscated his asthma pipe, insisting it's a crack pipe and that he'd go to jail for this. I swear to God I'm not making this up. I couldn't make this up. If I made it up, I'd make it more plausible and believeable.

Now, just yesterday, I was waiting for my ride, sitting on this fence(if it's made of bricks, is it a fence or a wall?), smoking quite ordinary tobacco in my quite ordinary pipe. They insisted that what I had was marijuana in, and I'm quoting now, my 'marijuana pipe'. Okay? This is too good.

My marijuana pipe.

I had to raise holy hell and fast talk like a car salesman on speed, so that they wouldn't confiscate it from me. They inspected it for a long time, sniffing and scratching every surface several times, before reluctantly(sp?) giving it back to me. Even gave me a warning.





Ladies and gentlemen. Friends. Accomplices in ALPiatory activities. I present to you... my "marijuana pipe".


Thank you and good night Internet.
_________________
bitchez n hose
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail MSN Messenger
Aramor



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 14137
Location: On a cyborg unicorn pony!

PostPosted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 5:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank God I live in Holland.

Besides that... uhm... I forgot what I wanted to say.

I once snorted sugar powder... powdered sugar... the white sugary stuff you put on pancakes. 2 lines per nostril.

It felt good!
_________________
Photoshopperholic wrote:
Mighty Lord Aramor


Fail of the day:
Syn wrote:
your balls didn't get suck
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website MSN Messenger
Spock



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 02 Aug 2006
Posts: 756
Location: Western US

PostPosted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 6:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm a salt snorter...

*looks around*...

...

No, seriously.
_________________
Aramor the Sober Whore wrote:
So I guess your e-honeymoon will be filled with e-wanking?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address
Munan
Moderator


Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 30 May 2005
Posts: 3232
Location: Living on my own

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 12:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aramor the Nobel Whore wrote:
I once snorted sugar powder... powdered sugar... the white sugary stuff you put on pancakes. 2 lines per nostril.


I once did as well, at a party in Iceland, and subsequently succeeded in selling the rest of the bag of sugar (it wasn't even sugar powder, just grains) as coke to other visitors to the party.

I guess it's pretty much like Finland over there and I cashed in on that!!!

Ha!

Oh, and yes, they were fucking tripping for the rest of the evening...
_________________
The Justified Ancient of Mu Mu
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Digitaaliklosetti



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 19 Apr 2005
Posts: 1850

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 1:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Munan wrote:

Oh, and yes, they were fucking tripping for the rest of the evening...

The frightening powers of self-suggestion.

As we seem to be on the subject, I've sold a little zip bag half full of dried, mowed grass as weed.

Granted, my customer base consisted of two thirteen year old boys with Nike shirts, living in what goes for the suburbs here, so I guess it's not really that much of an accomplishment.

Now that I think about it, I didn't even really lie to the budding reality TV stars. I insisted on calling the grass grass.


BUT


Just to stir a little bit more conversation, as I know it would drop exactly fucking here, have you, alp-forum, had similar experiences with policemen that just... try too hard?
_________________
bitchez n hose
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail MSN Messenger
Twistys



Gender: Gender:Female
Joined: 03 Sep 2006
Posts: 418
Location: Finnland, I think. Not sure... Is that a Polar Bear

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 4:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't know if THESE count. All in Finnland

I filed a report of an offence. Quite a big thing. The investigation isn't going on. There is several things that points to the certain town. They have not informed the local police about the car that was involved in the thing. And the investigation isn't going forward without me calling for them and asking what you''ve been doing. Basically the situation is this. If I'd go for a spying trip to this town I'm certain I would find the fuckers. But the problem is I could get sued over it. Oh, and the cop who is investigating was on a sick-leave during Christmas. How convenient.

Month ago I was involved in a car crash, for a second time. I was turning to left, notice we drive on a right side in Finland. So I needed to cross the road. I was turning when BANG a car hit the driver's sides front bumper. I had used my blinkers and all. This car came behind of me, she should have brake and stop or at least dodge to the right but noooooooo. She doesn't do anything to stop and dodges to the oncoming side of the road. She even told that to the police but nouuu, I was the criminal there. I wasn't gathered well enough they said. I WAS ALMOST DRIVING ON A CENTER LINE and they're telling me I WASN'T GATHERED CORRECTLY. They threathened to give me a fine and file a report of me- So only thing I could do was to take the blame.

Two years ago I had to make a distress call. This girl had earlier tried to kill herself and now I was called to her place because she had threatened to do it again. It was winter. -20C. And she didn't let me in. I called the help. It took them hour and half to come. Eventhough there's a police station near where she lived. She took overdose of something. She's alive, but one more minute and she wouldn't be here anymore. I didn't know her that good but my good friend was her best friend and she asked me to go and check what's going on.

Sorry for such long post.
_________________
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Digitaaliklosetti



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 19 Apr 2005
Posts: 1850

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 5:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh yeah, you better be. I mean what do you think these box things are for, communicating information to others through the medium of written language or something? I mean what kind of weird In The Year 3000 science fiction kind of bullshit is that?


alsoes

So we've covered everything from trying too hard to not really trying tooo... sort of doing what cops are supposed to do?

I mean what, was there a police car tailing you, watching the whole thing, or what?
_________________
bitchez n hose
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail MSN Messenger
Twistys



Gender: Gender:Female
Joined: 03 Sep 2006
Posts: 418
Location: Finnland, I think. Not sure... Is that a Polar Bear

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 5:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, It was my word against her's. Witnesses had left the scene. How noble of them. But hey, that's what finns do. Maybe I just meet the wrong cops.... PRKL!!!! Evil or Very Mad
_________________
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
kiramuse



Gender: Gender:Female
Joined: 14 Nov 2006
Posts: 286
Location: Somewhere in Texas

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 7:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Digitaaliklosetti wrote:
Just to stir a little bit more conversation, as I know it would drop exactly fucking here, have you, alp-forum, had similar experiences with policemen that just... try too hard?


If you mean "campus cop" when you mean "policemen", then yes of course. The current sergeant at my undergrad school (before she became a sergeant) decided to give me a parking ticket for parking in a so-called "No Parking Zone." There was a "No Parking" sign (without any arrows as most "No Parking" signs have nowadays) that was about 100 feet from where my car was parked. I took pictures of where the sign was in comparison to where my car was and promptly took it to the county courthouse (because tickets from our "cops" are "real" tickets that have to be settled in court). The judge looked over the pictures and then said I was free of charge. It would have been $100 plus court costs if I had not contested the ticket.

Then, I was pulled over on campus by our "Napoleon" who claimed I was speeding. I was going 34 miles in a 30 zone. Apparently, I needed to slow down to watch out for joggers. Newsflash, even if I'm going 30 mph, it would still cause damage to any jogger who ran out in front of me. That one, unfortunately, I could not contest, so I had to pay the "speeding ticket" and also attend defensive driving. Did that when I was 13 (with my folks), wasn't happy about attending the boring drivel again.

But yes, Digit, I believe some policemen try way too hard, especially when they're campus policemen. It seems they have something to prove, so there is this great desire to write tickets for needless things. Rolling Eyes

There I go rambling again... Confused
_________________
When life hands you lemons, you make some lemonade. When life hands you a 7-8 foot tall Yautja male...you make short work of him...and leave it up to your imagination. Wink
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Simon_Says



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 17 Apr 2005
Posts: 6823
Location: Being generally opposing.

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 8:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well I'm a pretty sneaky bastard when I do do something 'incorrect', but I do have two cents to spare.

Where I live, the police have an unwritten law that states that cops must have a vicious asshole streak. Taking too long for the lights to go green? Why not just start the lights and speed right on through, only to switch them off a block or two later. Highway only has two lanes? How about going 30 under the limit and force people to speed in order to get to their job? Why not have a drink while running a check stop looking for drunk drivers?

Yes, I've encountered these and more. The people who protect me are also my oppressors. Too bad there's no real mafia here in Canadia.

Also I swear my dad once had a pipe just like yours, Digit.
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Robot Chicken Koko



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 27 Feb 2006
Posts: 1130
Location: gettin' my learn on

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 9:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was also involved in a car accident where, I, being the teenager, had to do some explaining for why it happened. I hit an old lady running a stop sign going about 35-40 mph and totaled the front of my car. I swerved to the right somewhat to avoid her as much as possible, but I hit her anyway in her left rear wheel. Her car spun around completely 180*, and I was brought to a standstill. The cop asked me how her car was facing the wrong direction in the wrong lane of traffic on my street and blah blah. The funny thing was, the woman I hit was at least 363 years old, and was smiling to me as our first meeting occurred after I got out of my totaled car, after getting the airbag out of my face, and she got out her dented car. That's how it went down, but I was obviously not guilty, even to the witness who kindly stayed back and called the police almost immediately. No drug related incidents though, I've even bought alcohol without being carded, in front of a bribed police officer three blocks away from the White House in downtown DC without even being spoken to. But I guess that's why he's being bribed. Hope you enjoyed my musings internet reader.
_________________
"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love." - Albert Einstein
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address
Robot Chicken Koko



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 27 Feb 2006
Posts: 1130
Location: gettin' my learn on

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:
Canadia.


You're Canadian? WOW! I did not know that and did not have even the slightest shred of doubt that you were anything but an American (don't take that the wrong way). Unbelievable.
_________________
"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love." - Albert Einstein
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address
Simon_Says



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 17 Apr 2005
Posts: 6823
Location: Being generally opposing.

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote


_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Spock



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 02 Aug 2006
Posts: 756
Location: Western US

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Canadian alien?
_________________
Aramor the Sober Whore wrote:
So I guess your e-honeymoon will be filled with e-wanking?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address
Simon_Says



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 17 Apr 2005
Posts: 6823
Location: Being generally opposing.

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 12:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was more trying to display the alien's expression but whatever.
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Munan
Moderator


Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 30 May 2005
Posts: 3232
Location: Living on my own

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 4:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:
Also I swear my dad once had a pipe just like yours, Digit.


Did it ever occur to you, Digit, that these might not be cops but conceptual performance artists trying to get you to realise that ceci n'est pas une pipe?
_________________
The Justified Ancient of Mu Mu
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Aramor



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 14137
Location: On a cyborg unicorn pony!

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I once got hit by a car after I went through a red light. We called the cops and I got fined for going through a red light, while the woman that hit me wasn't in her own car, and she had no paperwork with her and the cops did nothing about that.

Oh, and I got to pay the little dent in the side of the car... well, the key from my bike was bent, and they never paid for that. Or for me not going to school for a week because my leg was hurting like hell.
_________________
Photoshopperholic wrote:
Mighty Lord Aramor


Fail of the day:
Syn wrote:
your balls didn't get suck
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website MSN Messenger
kiramuse



Gender: Gender:Female
Joined: 14 Nov 2006
Posts: 286
Location: Somewhere in Texas

PostPosted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 3:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like something that happened to my brother...though he wasn't the one going through the red light. You can't afford to not hesitate even after the light turns green. Either that or get your car plowed in... Shocked And they call this the "Friendly State"?
_________________
When life hands you lemons, you make some lemonade. When life hands you a 7-8 foot tall Yautja male...you make short work of him...and leave it up to your imagination. Wink
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Digitaaliklosetti



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 19 Apr 2005
Posts: 1850

PostPosted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 2:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Munan wrote:

ceci n'est pas une pipe?

Not anymore it isn't.

I managed to break it. Which is sad.
_________________
bitchez n hose
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail MSN Messenger
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Alien Loves Predator Forum Index -> Utter B.S. All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group