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crap about m&ms
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Azrael



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PostPosted: Sat Jun 24, 2006 11:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Uhh, you have something on your head."

"Is it an m&m? Ge it off!"

"No, it's blue."

"Is it a blue m&m? Get it off!"

"It's blue and pulsuating."

"That doesn't sound better than an m&m."
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 10:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sarge: Gentlemen... this is the M-12 LRV... I like to call it the M&M.

Simmons: Why M&M sir?

Sarge: Because M-12 LRV is too hard to say in conversations son...

Grif: No but, why M&M? I mean, it doesn't really look like it...

Sarge: Say that again?!?

Grif: I think it looks more like a Mars.

Sarge: What in sam hell is a Mars?

Simmons: Uhh, you mean like the planet?

Grif: No, like a Mars... it's a big candy bar. Like a Twix.

Sarge: You're making that up.

Grif: I'm telling you, it's a real snack.

Sarge: Look, see these wheels? They look like round things. And what kind of candy is round?

Grif: A Skittle...

Sarge: Didn't I just tell you to stop making up candy!?!

Tucker: What is that thing?

Church: I don't know, but it looks like ehhhm, looks like they've got somekinda candy down there.

Tucker: What kind of candy is it?

Church: I don't know, I've never seen candy like that... it looks like a uhhh... like a big chocolate bar of some kind...

Tucker: What, like a Mars?

Church: Yeah man, there you go.
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Frost



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PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 11:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

LMFAO!!

"...Did you just call my girlfriend a Skittle?"

"No, I think he called her an M&M."



"Dude, you can't pick up M&M's in tank."
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Frost



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PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 11:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

SOLDIER #1: Halt! Who goes there?

ARTHUR: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!

SOLDIER #1: Pull the other one!

ARTHUR: I am,... and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.

SOLDIER #1: What? Ridden on a horse?

ARTHUR: Yes!

SOLDIER #1: You're using M&M's!

ARTHUR: What?

SOLDIER #1: You've got two M*M's and you're bangin' 'em together.

ARTHUR: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through--

SOLDIER #1: Where'd you get the M&M's?

ARTHUR: We found them.

SOLDIER #1: Found them? In Mercia? The M&M's American!

ARTHUR: What do you mean?

SOLDIER #1: Well, this is Britain.

ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?

SOLDIER #1: Are you suggesting M&M's migrate?

ARTHUR: Not at all. They could be carried.

SOLDIER #1: What? A swallow carrying an M&M?

ARTHUR: It could grip it by the candy coating!
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You forget one thing: rock crushes scissors. But paper covers rock... and
scissors cuts paper... Kiff, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper... and
bring me a rock.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 11:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Hello there... big M&M lady..."
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Azrael



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PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 12:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"It's the black m&m of Aaaaaargh!"
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 3:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good M&M at your side, kid.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 5:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Holy M&M Of Antioch!
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2006 12:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hail to the M&M baby!

Close shut the M&M's of Oblivion!
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2006 4:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And you will know my name is the lord when I lay my M&Ms upon you!
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wrincewind



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PostPosted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 2:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

my ultimate goal: to weild the rainbow chequed m&m of hyperactivity+400!
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Tyris



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PostPosted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 7:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When someone desires M&Ms, they come to me. - 8t88

Bullshit. You ain't afraid of no M&M.
There's something out there, waiting for us... it ain't no M&M.

This is the Voice of the M&Ms. We know that you can hear us, Earthmen.
You will pay for your unprovoked attack on our complex on Mars.
Our next act of retaliation will be to destroy the Hershey's bar...


I need your clothes, your boots, and your M&Ms.
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 10:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cortle Steeze wrote:
I need your clothes, your boots, and your M&Ms.
WE STRUCK M&M'S!
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Tyris



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 8:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why, Mr. Anderson, why? Why? Why do you do it? Why? Why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something, for more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it jellybeans, or Skittles, perhaps gum? Could it be for M&Ms? Illusions, Mr. Anderson, vagaries of perception, temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without choclolate or praline. And all of them as artificial as the Mars bar itself. Although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as M&Ms.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 8:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

FUCKING SWEET! Good one...

"Like a Virgin" is all about a girl who digs a guy with a big Snickers. The whole song is a metaphor for candy.
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Azrael



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 11:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"m&ms are bulletproof."
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Tyris



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 5:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

M&Ms are what separate us from them, you from me. M&Ms are the only real source of power, without them you are powerless. And this is how you come to me, without M&Ms, without power. - the M&Merovingian
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 7:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There is so much in this world that I do not understand. See that Snickers? It has something to do with recycling our peanut supply. I have absolutely no idea how it works. But I do understand the reason for it to work.
I have absolutely no idea how you are able to eat some of the M&Ms you eat, but I believe there's a reason for that as well. I only hope we understand that reason before it's too late.

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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 8:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do not try to eat the M&M, that's impossible, instead, try to realize the truth.

What truth?

There is no M&M.
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Tyris



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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 8:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

^ Oh, come on, that's just cheap. It's almost worse than
It's him.
The anomaly.
Do we proceed?
Yes. He is still-
-Only an M&M.


I tried to work up an M&M Doctor Who joke before I realised that the entire episode/miniseries The Happiness Patrol was one giant candy joke. Blast.

I'll just toss in "He's no good to me caramelised" and be gone, then.
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Azrael



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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do not try and eat the m&m. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.

What truth?

There is no m&m.

There is no m&m?

Then you'll see, that it is not the m&m that is eaten, it is only yourself.
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Tyris



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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 10:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

^ You did that deliberately.

My name is Inigo Montoya. You ate my M&Ms. Prepare to die.
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 6:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good evening, ALP. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, whereby those important events of the past usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle are celebrated with a nice holiday. I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat.

There are of course those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, M&Ms will always retain their power. Candies offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to choose, buy, and enjoy as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well, certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now Justified Ancient of Mu Mu, Munan. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. Last night I sought to end that silence.

Last night I destroyed the Candystore, to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than four hundred threads ago a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that M&Mís, Smarties, and Skittles are more than candies, they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you, then I would suggest you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of the Cadbury Factory, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.

*****

Simon: Dr. Karst. Again, we see there is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away. And you thought I'd given up. You chose the wrong friends. This time it will cost you.

Karst: Too bad the Skittles don't know you the way I do, Simon.

Simon: Yes, too bad. You could warn them... if only you spoke Skittle.

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Azrael



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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 11:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One word to summarise my expression torward your little document.

"Wow".
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Sal



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PostPosted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 8:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

it actually took me a paragraph and a half to recognize the quote.
i think Simon has elevated the M&M crap to a higher level.
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