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Munamania #3: Proof

 
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One night stands?
Absolutely! Anything I can lay my hands (paws) on.
62%
 62%  [ 5 ]
Only if the man/woman I'm having a ons with is not cheating on a partner
12%
 12%  [ 1 ]
Never!
25%
 25%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 8

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Munan
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 4:36 am    Post subject: Munamania #3: Proof Reply with quote

Proof

A joke that has been running in my family for several years now is based on simple statistics. According to social research, one out of five men is homosexual. Since I have four brothers, one of us must be gay. All of us have wives or girlfriends, however, so at family meetings we play our private version of that television program where a candidate must recognise the one gay among a group of straight men. So far, we have all been a suspect at a certain time. I must admit, however, that although I have always had girlfriends, I am the most suspicious of the five of us.
I like shopping. I like music by artists like George Michael, The Pet Shop Boys and Take That. I have a lot of female friends and I like to talk with them about… well, about the things girls talk about. I like to read women's magazines. Also, it happens a bit too often that people visit my apartment, which I have decorated with great care, and ask me whether my girlfriend decorated it for me. People find all of this quite hilarious and I keep telling them that I really like women.

But that doesn't stop my brothers, or my friends. I have been teased a lot, which can be quite irritating. I stopped worrying about it now that I have been in a relationship with a girl longer than any girl could put up with the boys teasing me, but when I was younger it really got on my nerves. I remember one night out with a group of friends that kept on telling me I would probably feel much more comfortable in a gay bar than in the straight celebration of adolescent hormones we were at that night. I think it was something about the way I swung my hips while dancing.
So, I told them that I would prove to them I was straight by picking up a girl. To my own surprise I succeeded in finding one on the dancefloor – she liked the way I danced, she said – with whom I was kissing soon afterwards. A few hours later I could proudly tell my friends we were going to her place, probably to have sex. Which we did.

I woke up the next morning in an apartment with brown and grey furniture. On one wall hung a poster of some video game, on the other a poster of Hannibal Lecter from The Silence of the Lambs. Could this be my mirror image? "Funny", I told the girl lying next to me. "I think we would make a nice couple. People often say my own apartment is rather girlish and yours is quite boyish".
"That might very well be possible," she replied, "since this is my boyfriend's apartment".
I'm happy those days are gone.
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Last edited by Munan on Sat Sep 16, 2006 4:54 am; edited 1 time in total
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haha, that was pretty cool.

It would be cooler if that was her room...
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So it's a "proof?" Are you trying to prove you're not gay?
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Munan, is there something you'd like to tell us? Do you need a shoulder to cry on?

Nah, I'm just messing. I'm the last one who should be talking, I've felt you're pain (being teased).

Very interesting story, btw.

P.s.- I read woman's magazines too, sometimes.

P.s.s- 1 out of 5? Really? Wow...
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 11:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

On the subject of one-night stands, I have no problem with them... the only thing is, by way of my own peculiarities, I tend not to have them. In order to be attracted to a woman, I have to like her. I don't know why, but if I dislike a woman, it doesn't matter how physically perfect she is, I cannot be aroused by her. As a result, most of my intimate relationships are with women with whom I'll have a long-term friendship. We'll hang out together, we'll have fun just as we would have with platonic friendships, and then, out of nowhere, one of us will ask "hey, wanna sleep at my place, tonight?" ...oh, and they tend to be about 15-25 years older than me, that's probably my more well-known perversion.

Personal dislike overrides physical attraction for me. I've never been able to hate-fuck a woman.

Of course, one-night stands aren't out of the question, it's just unusual to pick up a woman in a bar that I genuinely like as a person, and then never again see her beyond the first night.
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 1:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I dunno Munan. Not that I care, but I thought you were gay for a while when I first came to this forum. I was kind of surprised one time reading that you had a girlfriend.

One out of five men being gay is not supported by any statistics I am aware of. As a matter of fact, the highest proportion of gay men I have ever heard from a gay rights group is one out of ten. I would guess it is probably something closer to one out of twenty.

If you don't think you are gay, and you are being honest with yourself, then you are not gay. End of story.

But being able to pick up a woman and take her home to her boyfriend's apartment, or anyone else's apartment, doesn't prove anything. I know lots of gay men with naturally-conceived children.


Crotchfire wrote:
I don't know why, but if I dislike a woman, it doesn't matter how physically perfect she is, I cannot be aroused by her.

That's an easy one. It is because you are not seriously fucked in the head. Only men with serious issues can be aroused by women they dislike.

I think Ann Coulter is visually extremely sexy, but there is no way I could ever, under any circumstances, have sex with a woman that I find as vile as I find her. No matter that she approaches my visual ideal for a woman. Tall, slender, nice chest, long hair, very pretty. Doesn't matter.

For a long time, much to my disgust, I found Britney Spwars visually breathtakingly beautiful. But there is no way I would ever have been aroused by her.

&c. &c.

Nah, Crotchfire, that just makes you a pretty well-adjusted person. =D
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Munan
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 8:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aramor the Angelic wrote:
It would be cooler if that was her room...


Yes, but then I wouldn't have had a pada bam-tish finish for my column, would I?

Koko wrote:
Are you trying to prove you're not gay?


No, I was, at that particular moment, many years ago. As I wrote, I'm happy those days are gone.

Complex_Number_States wrote:

I dunno Munan. Not that I care, but I thought you were gay for a while when I first came to this forum. I was kind of surprised one time reading that you had a girlfriend.


Yes, as a very close friend of mine always says: "you're too gay to function". There is, however, one striking detail: I fancy women, not men. Trust me on that.

Quote:

One out of five men being gay is not supported by any statistics I am aware of.


Oh well, maybe it was: one out of five men has engaged in homosexual sexual activity? And don't forget: I live in gay capital Amsterdam. Here, it would certainly not surprise me if one out of five men is gay. Gay people from all over te world come here, because of the relaxed attitude of the population towards gays.

Crotchfire wrote:
As a result, most of my intimate relationships are with women with whom I'll have a long-term friendship. We'll hang out together, we'll have fun just as we would have with platonic friendships, and then, out of nowhere, one of us will ask "hey, wanna sleep at my place, tonight?"


Funny, with me it has been the other way around quite often - one night stands developing into very close friendships. And indeed, most of the times a one night stand is rarely that: a one-time only sexual affair. Most of the times there's at least one or two more nights over a shorter or longer period in time.


Oh, and Comnum: Britney Spears? Attractive? No way, some of her songs may be very nice, but she is imho a) too young, b)just not pretty. Really. She's not.
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 8:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Munan wrote:
Yes, but then I wouldn't have had a pada bam-tish finish for my column, would I?


Yes... that's true...

Munan wrote:
Yes, as a very close friend of mine always says: "you're too gay to function".


I know someone who sometimes does stuff to which we react with "Dude... that is so gay..."

But then again, that guy is really gay...
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 1:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Munan wrote:
I fancy women, not men. Trust me on that.

Whatever, I couldn't care less.

Munan wrote:
Oh, and Comnum: Britney Spears? Attractive? No way, some of her songs may be very nice, but she is imho a) too young, b)just not pretty. Really. She's not.

EXACTLY

It's all about opinion.

And furthermore, by exposing myself to her incredibly bad songs, and her incredible stupidity, I have been able to remove the attraction I once felt.

But still, taken entirely out of context, she is quite stunningly beautiful. To me.
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 4:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I heard it was 1 in 10, not 1 in 5...
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 5:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have heard homophobic people say two percent, and I have heard homophilic people say ten percent.

My gay-dar is pretty finely tuned, and my observations don't support anything close to ten percent.

Of course, I do live in the city often referred to as "The Buckle on the Bible Belt". It may be that many gay men flee this bastion of intolerance at their first opportunity. Or are stealthed beyond my gay-dar's ability to detect.
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 2:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe they're gay ninjas and they sneak around your house at midnight and try to kill you with purple dildo katanas but they can't because of something...

Why did I even start that sentence...
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 3:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i don't think there is anyway i could ever have a ONS again. somewhere along the lines of that thing called growing up, it became painfully obvious that i need to form some type of emotional connection with a woman before i could be interested in sleeping with her. another hang up is that i cannot, under any circumstances, become aroused by a woman that is dumb, stupid, ignorant, unintelligent, whatever you want to call it. i am also one that instantly dismisses a woman if they are famous. i cannot, for example, satnd paris hilton, britney, of jessica simpson. they are all dumb as a box of rocks. now, when i say to my friends that dislike those particular three women, then suddenly i am on the gay/watch list.
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 11:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

WHY
CAN'T
YOU
ALL

STAY

ON


TOPIC

(drivel split off to the land of Utter B.S., permanent exile to Utter B.S. of Aramor et al. considered)
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 11:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zephon wrote:
i don't think there is anyway i could ever have a ONS again. somewhere along the lines of that thing called growing up, it became painfully obvious that i need to form some type of emotional connection with a woman before i could be interested in sleeping with her.


So that means your relationship has to start before you have sex with her? That would be difficult for me, since I only fall in love with women I'm already in sort of a relationship with.

Quote:
another hang up is that i cannot, under any circumstances, become aroused by a woman that is dumb, stupid, ignorant, unintelligent, whatever you want to call it.


Yes, that makes me realise I should have had a fourth option in the poll: "ONS? Only if i find the (wo)man in question attractive." I know it's like that for me, but I''m wondering whether that goes for many men? Especially the ones that didn't yet - as you call it -grow up. And does that mean that you could have a ONS before with someone not attractive to you?

Quote:
i am also one that instantly dismisses a woman if they are famous.


Exactly how often did you have to beat off the celebrities begging to be allowed between your sheets?

Quote:
now, when i say to my friends that dislike [paris hilton, britney, of jessica simpson] then suddenly i am on the gay/watch list


Really? That's... bizarre. You have bizarre friends. Either that, or I'm more gay than I could ever imagine.

Also, howcome I never made a "gay/watch list"? I'm very fond of making lists and it never occurred to me to make this one...
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 1:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Munan wrote:

So that means your relationship has to start before you have sex with her?


yes, it does. i really have learned that i need to feel a mental attraction to a woman before i can truly allow myself to be with her. i need that mental stimulus to really allow myself to get further into the relationship. once that type of rapport is established, then sex becomes something more than just a physical gratification act, it becomes more of a meeting of two minds that share an experience. THAT makes sex gratifying to me. any animal can fuck.

Quote:
And does that mean that you could have a ONS before with someone not attractive to you?


i've had my fair share of meaningless sexual encounters. i was a whore in high school as far as i'm concerned. i was totally indiscriminate about who i went to bed with, as long as there was the probability of getting off. that changed however, sometime during the early nineties when i realized that sex with strangers always left you with a stranger, and basically alone. it was also during this period that i really started to develop my need for mental compatibility. i was no longer a child, and i needed to quit acting as one. i realized that sex with people that couldn't interest me in a conversation were just as boring to me in bed.

Quote:
Exactly how often did you have to beat off the celebrities begging to be allowed between your sheets?


never been close. but that wasn't really the point of the comment. my comment was more an expression of my dislike of the way the USA makes celebs into the demigods of society. my views on celebrity are not germane to the topic however, so i will let this go for now. maybe a topic someday about the constant forcefeeding that occurs will pop up, and i can then discuss my views.

Quote:
Really? That's... bizarre. You have bizarre friends. Either that, or I'm more gay than I could ever imagine.
Also, howcome I never made a "gay/watch list"? I'm very fond of making lists and it never occurred to me to make this one...


bizarre friends? yes, in many ways i do have bizarre friends, more so because they are nothing like me. i'm a small town rural Missouri police officer, and yet i grew up in a large urban city. the differences between my coworkers and i are very large. their idea of a good time is mud races and bull riding. i much prefer a good punk show in a small crappy venue. our musical differences alone place me on the outside around here, and anybody that is outside is labeled gay. trust me, your entrenchment in pop music gets you on their list.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 5:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

bernieh wrote:
(drivel split off to the land of Utter B.S., permanent exile to Utter B.S. of Aramor et al. considered)


Fine, I'll never do it again...

Well, to get on-topic... I've once been asked if I was bisexual... but I just said I was open minded.
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