Munamania #3: Proof

[Munan]

Proof

A joke that has been running in my family for several years now is based on simple statistics. According to social research, one out of five men is homosexual. Since I have four brothers, one of us must be gay. All of us have wives or girlfriends, however, so at family meetings we play our private version of that television program where a candidate must recognise the one gay among a group of straight men. So far, we have all been a suspect at a certain time. I must admit, however, that although I have always had girlfriends, I am the most suspicious of the five of us.
I like shopping. I like music by artists like George Michael, The Pet Shop Boys and Take That. I have a lot of female friends and I like to talk with them about… well, about the things girls talk about. I like to read women's magazines. Also, it happens a bit too often that people visit my apartment, which I have decorated with great care, and ask me whether my girlfriend decorated it for me. People find all of this quite hilarious and I keep telling them that I really like women.

But that doesn't stop my brothers, or my friends. I have been teased a lot, which can be quite irritating. I stopped worrying about it now that I have been in a relationship with a girl longer than any girl could put up with the boys teasing me, but when I was younger it really got on my nerves. I remember one night out with a group of friends that kept on telling me I would probably feel much more comfortable in a gay bar than in the straight celebration of adolescent hormones we were at that night. I think it was something about the way I swung my hips while dancing.
So, I told them that I would prove to them I was straight by picking up a girl. To my own surprise I succeeded in finding one on the dancefloor – she liked the way I danced, she said – with whom I was kissing soon afterwards. A few hours later I could proudly tell my friends we were going to her place, probably to have sex. Which we did.

I woke up the next morning in an apartment with brown and grey furniture. On one wall hung a poster of some video game, on the other a poster of Hannibal Lecter from The Silence of the Lambs. Could this be my mirror image? "Funny", I told the girl lying next to me. "I think we would make a nice couple. People often say my own apartment is rather girlish and yours is quite boyish".
"That might very well be possible," she replied, "since this is my boyfriend's apartment".
I'm happy those days are gone.
_________________
The Justified Ancient of Mu Mu

[Aramor]

Haha, that was pretty cool.

It would be cooler if that was her room...
_________________

[Robot Chicken Koko]

So it's a "proof?" Are you trying to prove you're not gay?
_________________
"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love." - Albert Einstein

[Frost]

Munan, is there something you'd like to tell us? Do you need a shoulder to cry on?

Nah, I'm just messing. I'm the last one who should be talking, I've felt you're pain (being teased).

Very interesting story, btw.

P.s.- I read woman's magazines too, sometimes.

P.s.s- 1 out of 5? Really? Wow...
_________________
You forget one thing: rock crushes scissors. But paper covers rock... and
scissors cuts paper... Kiff, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper... and
bring me a rock.
-- Zapp Brannigan

[Crotchfire]

On the subject of one-night stands, I have no problem with them... the only thing is, by way of my own peculiarities, I tend not to have them. In order to be attracted to a woman, I have to like her. I don't know why, but if I dislike a woman, it doesn't matter how physically perfect she is, I cannot be aroused by her. As a result, most of my intimate relationships are with women with whom I'll have a long-term friendship. We'll hang out together, we'll have fun just as we would have with platonic friendships, and then, out of nowhere, one of us will ask "hey, wanna sleep at my place, tonight?" ...oh, and they tend to be about 15-25 years older than me, that's probably my more well-known perversion.

Personal dislike overrides physical attraction for me. I've never been able to hate-fuck a woman.

Of course, one-night stands aren't out of the question, it's just unusual to pick up a woman in a bar that I genuinely like as a person, and then never again see her beyond the first night.
_________________
The official MILF-masta of the AlP forums.
In addition to my well-documented exploits, my first two initials are MF. Seriously, I'm not making that up.

[Complex_Number_States]

I dunno Munan. Not that I care, but I thought you were gay for a while when I first came to this forum. I was kind of surprised one time reading that you had a girlfriend.

One out of five men being gay is not supported by any statistics I am aware of. As a matter of fact, the highest proportion of gay men I have ever heard from a gay rights group is one out of ten. I would guess it is probably something closer to one out of twenty.

If you don't think you are gay, and you are being honest with yourself, then you are not gay. End of story.

But being able to pick up a woman and take her home to her boyfriend's apartment, or anyone else's apartment, doesn't prove anything. I know lots of gay men with naturally-conceived children.

[Munan]

[Aramor]

[Complex_Number_States]

[Simon_Says]

I heard it was 1 in 10, not 1 in 5...
_________________

[Complex_Number_States]

I have heard homophobic people say two percent, and I have heard homophilic people say ten percent.

My gay-dar is pretty finely tuned, and my observations don't support anything close to ten percent.

Of course, I do live in the city often referred to as "The Buckle on the Bible Belt". It may be that many gay men flee this bastion of intolerance at their first opportunity. Or are stealthed beyond my gay-dar's ability to detect.
_________________


What if the 4th dimension became lava? You could map our physical location with the coordinates: X, Y, Z, and ARRRRG SO HOT, IT'S SO HOT
- Chloeee

[Aramor]

Maybe they're gay ninjas and they sneak around your house at midnight and try to kill you with purple dildo katanas but they can't because of something...

Why did I even start that sentence...
_________________

[Zephon]

i don't think there is anyway i could ever have a ONS again. somewhere along the lines of that thing called growing up, it became painfully obvious that i need to form some type of emotional connection with a woman before i could be interested in sleeping with her. another hang up is that i cannot, under any circumstances, become aroused by a woman that is dumb, stupid, ignorant, unintelligent, whatever you want to call it. i am also one that instantly dismisses a woman if they are famous. i cannot, for example, satnd paris hilton, britney, of jessica simpson. they are all dumb as a box of rocks. now, when i say to my friends that dislike those particular three women, then suddenly i am on the gay/watch list.

[bernieh]

WHY
CAN'T
YOU
ALL

STAY

ON


TOPIC

(drivel split off to the land of Utter B.S., permanent exile to Utter B.S. of Aramor et al. considered)

[Munan]

[Zephon]

[Aramor]