Alien Loves Predator Forum Index
         
FAQFAQ    SearchSearch    RegisterRegister    ProfileProfile    Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages    Log inLog in 
Crotchfire has no desire to commit statutory rape!!!
    page 1, 2  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Alien Loves Predator Forum Index -> General B.S.
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Crotchfire



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 527
Location: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

PostPosted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 11:57 pm    Post subject: Crotchfire has no desire to commit statutory rape!!! Reply with quote

So I've moved to Saint Louis. I graduated college in May, got a spiffy lil' math degree, and ended up with a teaching job at a private high school in Saint Louis.

By day, Crotchfire teaches math to boys and girls ages 14-17. By night, Crotchfire sleeps with women ages 40ish... or he would like to, except that he doesn't know the territory so well yet. Anyway...

A cute young female student came up to me and said: "Mr. ____," (lol, intarweb paranoia) "this would be really awkward if I had you as a teacher, but you have really pretty hair."

For all of you who didn't know, I have long, curlyish brown hair, and yes, on a good day it is a delight to look at my hair.

I responded as a good teacher would, I said "Why, thank you! I appreciate the compliment!" and left it at that.

But inwardly I thought "Oh, fuck no." I do not need my students to have crushes on me. I definitely do not need students to want to sleep with me.

Of course, it's already well-known around the school that I'm unmarried with no girlfriend... meaning the students know this too. Goddamnit.

I sincerely hope that the students aren't very forward here, because that's going to make this year very difficult. It doesn't help that all my female coworkers keep telling me: oh yeah, if I were your student, I'd be trying to sleep with you. Watch out for the girls who sit in front without any panties.

This could be tough.
_________________
The official MILF-masta of the AlP forums.
In addition to my well-documented exploits, my first two initials are MF. Seriously, I'm not making that up.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Blaster
Moderator


Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 05 Apr 2005
Posts: 2544
Location: Chicago

PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 12:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You cannot stop them from wanting to sleep with you, but you can control yourself. It could make for some awkward situations, though.
_________________
Context is everything.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Complex_Number_States
banned


Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 08 May 2006
Posts: 639
Location: Flyover Country, USA

PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 12:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just cover your ass well.

Never have a female student alone with you in your classroom unless there are other people around the building (i.e. neither way early beofre or way late after school), and your door is wide open.

If you think a student is making overt advances, or even if she just makes you uncomfortable, get into a public area immediately. Tell someone else as soon as possible. And do your damnedest to avoid communicating anything to the student. Never, ever, under any circumstances make any comments about clothing or appearance. To any female student. Ever. Ever. Under any circumstances. Ever.

As long as you are teaching in high school, there will be girls who have crushes on you. Even when you are in your 40s or 50s. Just don't give them any encouragement.

Keep the desk between you and them. Squat down so that your head is lower than theirs.

Never discuss your lack of a girlfriend. Or girlfriends at all. Believe me, when they ask, if you don't answer at all, they will decide you are the mack-daddy. Smile a little, and don't say anything.

If you think temptation may be too much for you, get out fast fast fast. Better to be unemployed than in jail.

But if you just use common sense, and keep yourself out of potentially compromising situations, you should be just fine. It is something that every male teacher goes through at some level or other. Don't dwell on it.

Oh, and one last thing. If a student tells you something like "this would be really awkward if I had you as a teacher," remind her that she does. Because every student in the school is your student. And there is no circumstance where this is not a situation full of potential.


OK, incoherence level may be approaching critical. Shutting down transmission.
_________________


What if the 4th dimension became lava? You could map our physical location with the coordinates: X, Y, Z, and ARRRRG SO HOT, IT'S SO HOT
- Chloeee
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Aramor



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 14141
Location: On a cyborg unicorn pony!

PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 7:04 am    Post subject: Re: Crotchfire has no desire to commit statutory rape!!! Reply with quote

And some more incentive... if you have sex with something else than a MILF, and we find out about it, you will be forever disgraced on the forum!

Nah but seriously, don't do it. It's just not cool.
_________________
Photoshopperholic wrote:
Mighty Lord Aramor


Fail of the day:
Syn wrote:
your balls didn't get suck
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website MSN Messenger
Munan
Moderator


Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 30 May 2005
Posts: 3232
Location: Living on my own

PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 8:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel your pain. Judging from a pic I remember you posted once, your and my hair are very similar.

In my case (I teach at a university), the students are also older, take more initiative and the situation would not be as feverishly frowned upon as in a high school.

All I can say is: all young teachers have been there and the smart ones have taken comnum's advise to their heart and lived happily ever after.

I've once cuddled a bit too much with a student who I haven't had in class, but who is in the same department as I teach - I met her at a festival, danced too close with her, became good friends - all the time telling myself, she's not my student, the age difference is not that big etc. etc.

But in the end, there will be gossip, glares, questions. So just don't do it, don't accept flattery. A student once told me I have very pretty eyes - I told her it was nice of her to say so, but actually rather inappropriate for a student to say this to her teacher.

Also, your female colleagues might tease you now, but they'll be the first ones to devoure your sorry little ass as soon as they find out something has really happened.


But I'll be the first to admit all this is easier said than done.
_________________
The Justified Ancient of Mu Mu
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Aramor



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 14141
Location: On a cyborg unicorn pony!

PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 8:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You could try to chop off your little Crotchfire...
_________________
Photoshopperholic wrote:
Mighty Lord Aramor


Fail of the day:
Syn wrote:
your balls didn't get suck
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website MSN Messenger
Robot Chicken Koko



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 27 Feb 2006
Posts: 1130
Location: gettin' my learn on

PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 10:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your hair really does look good. What's your secret?
_________________
"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love." - Albert Einstein
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address
Crotchfire



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 527
Location: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 6:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Interestingly, there is not real secret to my incredible hair. It's naturally very dark and curly/wavy, but when the sunlight hits it is has a sort of red/gold glow to it.

Upkeepwise, I typically shampoo twice every 3 days and use conditioner maybe once per week.

Voila, fabulous hair.

Goddamnit, if I didn't have a track record for fooling around with milfs, I'd declare myself gay on the spot from this post.
_________________
The official MILF-masta of the AlP forums.
In addition to my well-documented exploits, my first two initials are MF. Seriously, I'm not making that up.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
AmberEyez_Proclaims



Gender: Gender:Female
Joined: 23 Apr 2006
Posts: 139
Location: New York City

PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 6:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

heh. Just watch out, puppy boi. 15'll get ya 20.
Stick with basic math: 20-something goes into 40-something at least twice, preferably with a little left over.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Complex_Number_States
banned


Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 08 May 2006
Posts: 639
Location: Flyover Country, USA

PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 2:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Crotchfire wrote:
Goddamnit, if I didn't have a track record for fooling around with milfs, I'd declare myself gay on the spot from this post.

Actually, that would probably only make things worse, because then they would want to "cure" you. =D
_________________


What if the 4th dimension became lava? You could map our physical location with the coordinates: X, Y, Z, and ARRRRG SO HOT, IT'S SO HOT
- Chloeee
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Munan
Moderator


Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 30 May 2005
Posts: 3232
Location: Living on my own

PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 8:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Crotchfire wrote:
Upkeepwise, I typically shampoo twice every 3 days and use conditioner maybe once per week.

Voila, fabulous hair.


I'm surprised to hear that you don't use wax. I myself use Palmer's soft formula shaping wax with Yoyaba.



It has the advantage that it also smells really nice - boys and girls have asked me quite often what's that nice scent I've on me.
_________________
The Justified Ancient of Mu Mu
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Khushi



Gender: Gender:Female
Joined: 08 Oct 2005
Posts: 1555
Location: the stratosphere

PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 10:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Munan wrote:


Also, your female colleagues might tease you now, but they'll be the first ones to devoure your sorry little ass as soon as they find out something has really happened.


Heh. Yes.. women are very much like that, so watch out for them..

But now I'm curious. I wanna see your hair.
_________________
Yours Queen of Cloud 9
ME ~> <~ OMFGPIE
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Digitaaliklosetti



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 19 Apr 2005
Posts: 1850

PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 2:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I blame Crotchfire and this thread for the recent problems in my family.
_________________
bitchez n hose
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail MSN Messenger
Complex_Number_States
banned


Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 08 May 2006
Posts: 639
Location: Flyover Country, USA

PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 2:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ulysses Everett McGill (said) wrote:
I'm a Dapper Dan man.

I like the smell of my hair treatment; the pleasing odor is half the point.


I don't know of any male outside of the movies who uses such products on his hair.
_________________


What if the 4th dimension became lava? You could map our physical location with the coordinates: X, Y, Z, and ARRRRG SO HOT, IT'S SO HOT
- Chloeee
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Frost



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 05 Jul 2005
Posts: 2442
Location: The Realm of Suck

PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 4:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You know, Crotchfire, you have some of the weirdest problems...

Nothing wrong with them, just weird.
_________________
You forget one thing: rock crushes scissors. But paper covers rock... and
scissors cuts paper... Kiff, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper... and
bring me a rock.
-- Zapp Brannigan
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Munan
Moderator


Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 30 May 2005
Posts: 3232
Location: Living on my own

PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 4:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Complex_Number_States wrote:
Ulysses Everett McGill (said) wrote:
I'm a Dapper Dan man.

I like the smell of my hair treatment; the pleasing odor is half the point.


I don't know of any male outside of the movies who uses such products on his hair.


Do you mean to suggest by this that I am a fictional persona?

Also, Digitaaliklosetti, what the fuck? Ol' Crotch's sleeping with your mother?!
_________________
The Justified Ancient of Mu Mu
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
AmberEyez_Proclaims



Gender: Gender:Female
Joined: 23 Apr 2006
Posts: 139
Location: New York City

PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 6:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm with Khushi. I wanna see your hair too.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Complex_Number_States
banned


Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 08 May 2006
Posts: 639
Location: Flyover Country, USA

PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 6:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Munan wrote:
Do you mean to suggest by this that I am a fictional persona?

Actually, that particular interpretation never occurred to me.

But, now that you mention it...
_________________


What if the 4th dimension became lava? You could map our physical location with the coordinates: X, Y, Z, and ARRRRG SO HOT, IT'S SO HOT
- Chloeee
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Crotchfire



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 06 Jun 2005
Posts: 527
Location: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 7:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

As I've had 2 requests to see my incredible hair, I'll oblige with no less than 3 pictures. These are all from my friend's digital camera, taken when we were going to Ireland. While there isn't much sun for you to see the truly magical effect that happens when my hair is hit by the sun, I still think these are fair (although these don't really show my hair at its best, after all I hadn't used any conditioner and humidity does funny things) representations of my hair.

http://s16.photobucket.com/albums/b5/Vaqueiro/?action=view&current=Hair1.jpg

http://s16.photobucket.com/albums/b5/Vaqueiro/?action=view&current=Hair2.jpg

http://s16.photobucket.com/albums/b5/Vaqueiro/?action=view&current=Hair3.jpg

God DAMN I have vanity issues.
_________________
The official MILF-masta of the AlP forums.
In addition to my well-documented exploits, my first two initials are MF. Seriously, I'm not making that up.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
AmberEyez_Proclaims



Gender: Gender:Female
Joined: 23 Apr 2006
Posts: 139
Location: New York City

PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 9:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OOooo. Shmexxy.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Frost



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 05 Jul 2005
Posts: 2442
Location: The Realm of Suck

PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 9:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

God my hair sucks, lol.
_________________
You forget one thing: rock crushes scissors. But paper covers rock... and
scissors cuts paper... Kiff, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper... and
bring me a rock.
-- Zapp Brannigan
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Complex_Number_States
banned


Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 08 May 2006
Posts: 639
Location: Flyover Country, USA

PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 10:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Homes, you had better get used to gigglies having crushes on you.

If you don't adjust by the end of this school year, look into becoming an actuary.
_________________


What if the 4th dimension became lava? You could map our physical location with the coordinates: X, Y, Z, and ARRRRG SO HOT, IT'S SO HOT
- Chloeee
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Blaster
Moderator


Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 05 Apr 2005
Posts: 2544
Location: Chicago

PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 2:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hm...Crotchfire + AmberEyez = lust connection?
_________________
Context is everything.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Complex_Number_States
banned


Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 08 May 2006
Posts: 639
Location: Flyover Country, USA

PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 2:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blaster wrote:
Hm...Crotchfire + AmberEyez = lust connection?

The age thingy is right as far as he is concerned, but she says she is not a cougar.

Dunno though, you never know.

If I knew, though, I would know.
_________________


What if the 4th dimension became lava? You could map our physical location with the coordinates: X, Y, Z, and ARRRRG SO HOT, IT'S SO HOT
- Chloeee
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Sal



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 29 Jul 2005
Posts: 4628
Location: home and such

PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 5:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

forget the hair, the eyes! THE EYES!

i would not allow any of my imaginary daughters to go to your classes.
_________________
i have no time for anal love
Simon_Says wrote:
Sal, you're my favourite member again.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Alien Loves Predator Forum Index -> General B.S. All times are GMT - 5 Hours
    page 1, 2  Next
Page 1 of 2

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group