Crotchfire has no desire to commit statutory rape!!!

Crotchfire

So I've moved to Saint Louis. I graduated college in May, got a spiffy lil' math degree, and ended up with a teaching job at a private high school in Saint Louis.

By day, Crotchfire teaches math to boys and girls ages 14-17. By night, Crotchfire sleeps with women ages 40ish... or he would like to, except that he doesn't know the territory so well yet. Anyway...

A cute young female student came up to me and said: "Mr. ____," (lol, intarweb paranoia) "this would be really awkward if I had you as a teacher, but you have really pretty hair."

For all of you who didn't know, I have long, curlyish brown hair, and yes, on a good day it is a delight to look at my hair.

I responded as a good teacher would, I said "Why, thank you! I appreciate the compliment!" and left it at that.

But inwardly I thought "Oh, fuck no." I do not need my students to have crushes on me. I definitely do not need students to want to sleep with me.

Of course, it's already well-known around the school that I'm unmarried with no girlfriend... meaning the students know this too. Goddamnit.

I sincerely hope that the students aren't very forward here, because that's going to make this year very difficult. It doesn't help that all my female coworkers keep telling me: oh yeah, if I were your student, I'd be trying to sleep with you. Watch out for the girls who sit in front without any panties.

This could be tough.
_________________
The official MILF-masta of the AlP forums.
In addition to my well-documented exploits, my first two initials are MF. Seriously, I'm not making that up.

Blaster · Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 12:33 am Post subject:

You cannot stop them from wanting to sleep with you, but you can control yourself. It could make for some awkward situations, though.
_________________
Context is everything.

Complex_Number_States · Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 12:49 am Post subject:

Just cover your ass well.

Never have a female student alone with you in your classroom unless there are other people around the building (i.e. neither way early beofre or way late after school), and your door is wide open.

If you think a student is making overt advances, or even if she just makes you uncomfortable, get into a public area immediately. Tell someone else as soon as possible. And do your damnedest to avoid communicating anything to the student. Never, ever, under any circumstances make any comments about clothing or appearance. To any female student. Ever. Ever. Under any circumstances. Ever.

As long as you are teaching in high school, there will be girls who have crushes on you. Even when you are in your 40s or 50s. Just don't give them any encouragement.

Keep the desk between you and them. Squat down so that your head is lower than theirs.

Never discuss your lack of a girlfriend. Or girlfriends at all. Believe me, when they ask, if you don't answer at all, they will decide you are the mack-daddy. Smile a little, and don't say anything.

If you think temptation may be too much for you, get out fast fast fast. Better to be unemployed than in jail.

But if you just use common sense, and keep yourself out of potentially compromising situations, you should be just fine. It is something that every male teacher goes through at some level or other. Don't dwell on it.

Oh, and one last thing. If a student tells you something like "this would be really awkward if I had you as a teacher," remind her that she does. Because every student in the school is your student. And there is no circumstance where this is not a situation full of potential.

OK, incoherence level may be approaching critical. Shutting down transmission.
_________________

What if the 4th dimension became lava? You could map our physical location with the coordinates: X, Y, Z, and ARRRRG SO HOT, IT'S SO HOT
- Chloeee

Aramor

And some more incentive... if you have sex with something else than a MILF, and we find out about it, you will be forever disgraced on the forum!

Nah but seriously, don't do it. It's just not cool.
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Munan · Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 8:27 am Post subject:

I feel your pain. Judging from a pic I remember you posted once, your and my hair are very similar.

In my case (I teach at a university), the students are also older, take more initiative and the situation would not be as feverishly frowned upon as in a high school.

All I can say is: all young teachers have been there and the smart ones have taken comnum's advise to their heart and lived happily ever after.

I've once cuddled a bit too much with a student who I haven't had in class, but who is in the same department as I teach - I met her at a festival, danced too close with her, became good friends - all the time telling myself, she's not my student, the age difference is not that big etc. etc.

But in the end, there will be gossip, glares, questions. So just don't do it, don't accept flattery. A student once told me I have very pretty eyes - I told her it was nice of her to say so, but actually rather inappropriate for a student to say this to her teacher.

Also, your female colleagues might tease you now, but they'll be the first ones to devoure your sorry little ass as soon as they find out something has really happened.

But I'll be the first to admit all this is easier said than done.
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The Justified Ancient of Mu Mu

Aramor · Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 8:42 am Post subject:

You could try to chop off your little Crotchfire...
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Robot Chicken Koko · Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 10:53 am Post subject:

Your hair really does look good. What's your secret?
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"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love." - Albert Einstein

Crotchfire · Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 6:53 pm Post subject:

Interestingly, there is not real secret to my incredible hair. It's naturally very dark and curly/wavy, but when the sunlight hits it is has a sort of red/gold glow to it.

Upkeepwise, I typically shampoo twice every 3 days and use conditioner maybe once per week.

Voila, fabulous hair.

Goddamnit, if I didn't have a track record for fooling around with milfs, I'd declare myself gay on the spot from this post.
_________________
The official MILF-masta of the AlP forums.
In addition to my well-documented exploits, my first two initials are MF. Seriously, I'm not making that up.

AmberEyez_Proclaims · Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 6:58 pm Post subject:

heh. Just watch out, puppy boi. 15'll get ya 20.
Stick with basic math: 20-something goes into 40-something at least twice, preferably with a little left over.

Complex_Number_States · Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 2:29 am Post subject:

Munan · Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 8:43 am Post subject:

Khushi · Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 10:30 am Post subject:

Digitaaliklosetti · Gender: Joined: 19 Apr 2005 Posts: 1850

I blame Crotchfire and this thread for the recent problems in my family.
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bitchez n hose

Complex_Number_States · Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 2:57 pm Post subject:

Frost · Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 4:10 pm Post subject:

You know, Crotchfire, you have some of the weirdest problems...

Nothing wrong with them, just weird.
_________________
You forget one thing: rock crushes scissors. But paper covers rock... and
scissors cuts paper... Kiff, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper... and
bring me a rock.
-- Zapp Brannigan

Munan · Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 4:53 pm Post subject:

AmberEyez_Proclaims · Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 6:00 pm Post subject:

I'm with Khushi. I wanna see your hair too.

Complex_Number_States · Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 6:06 pm Post subject:

Crotchfire · Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 7:34 pm Post subject:

As I've had 2 requests to see my incredible hair, I'll oblige with no less than 3 pictures. These are all from my friend's digital camera, taken when we were going to Ireland. While there isn't much sun for you to see the truly magical effect that happens when my hair is hit by the sun, I still think these are fair (although these don't really show my hair at its best, after all I hadn't used any conditioner and humidity does funny things) representations of my hair.

http://s16.photobucket.com/albums/b5/Vaqueiro/?action=view&current=Hair1.jpg

http://s16.photobucket.com/albums/b5/Vaqueiro/?action=view&current=Hair2.jpg

http://s16.photobucket.com/albums/b5/Vaqueiro/?action=view&current=Hair3.jpg

God DAMN I have vanity issues.
_________________
The official MILF-masta of the AlP forums.
In addition to my well-documented exploits, my first two initials are MF. Seriously, I'm not making that up.

AmberEyez_Proclaims · Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 9:35 pm Post subject:

OOooo. Shmexxy.

Frost · Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 9:43 pm Post subject:

God my hair sucks, lol.
_________________
You forget one thing: rock crushes scissors. But paper covers rock... and
scissors cuts paper... Kiff, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper... and
bring me a rock.
-- Zapp Brannigan

Complex_Number_States · Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 10:43 pm Post subject:

Homes, you had better get used to gigglies having crushes on you.

If you don't adjust by the end of this school year, look into becoming an actuary.
_________________

What if the 4th dimension became lava? You could map our physical location with the coordinates: X, Y, Z, and ARRRRG SO HOT, IT'S SO HOT
- Chloeee

Blaster · Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 2:00 am Post subject:

Hm...Crotchfire + AmberEyez = lust connection?
_________________
Context is everything.

Complex_Number_States · Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 2:29 am Post subject:

Sal · Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 5:58 am Post subject:

forget the hair, the eyes! THE EYES!

i would not allow any of my imaginary daughters to go to your classes.
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i have no time for anal love

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