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Pieh
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 Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 2:44 pm Post subject: The answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything. |
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"The Question and Answer to Life, the Universe and Everything
For generations mankind has searched for the meaning of life. For some meaning to his existence. There are many different philosophies and theologies that delve into the subject with varying degrees of depth and success, but all have yet to bring any true enlightenment to humanity. Yet in spite of all these short-fallings, and in spite of flippant answers such as "forty-two" there is a definite question and a definite answer to that question. This essay will endeavor to bring the question and answer to the understanding of all.
When discussing the question of life, the universe and everything one must remember that...that...Excuse me...I'm sitting on my sun-porch as I write this and there's a squirrel sitting on the roof of my garage and he's staring at me...It just sort of distracted me for a moment...where was I? Oh yes...
When discussing the question of life, the universe and everything one must...must...He's still there...Squirrels don't usually sit and stare like that do they? Usually there somewhat hyperactive and always skittering about, never sitting still for very long. He looks almost contemplative, if a squirrel can be contemplative. Huh...anyway...
When discussing the question of life, I mean, what's a squirrel got to contemplate really? Where he left that last nut? Whether he can make the jump between those two branches over there? Whether his wife is cheating on him with that flashy raccoon from up the block? I swear it looks like he's staring straight at me...
When discussing squirrels one must remember that...wait...sorry...
When discussing the question of life, the universe and what the heck would a squirrel be staring at me for? I haven't done anything to the squirrel. It's...it's almost as if he knows something. What on earth could a squirrel know about me that would make him stare at me like that. It's kind of starting to bug me a little. But performing under pressure is what being professional is all about, right? So, on with the essay.
When discussing the question of life, the universe and everything one must really stop staring at me. Especially when one is a squirrel. I don't sit on the squirrel's garage staring at him, do I?
When discussing the...what's he doing now? Is he winking at me? Why is he winking at me? Is he trying to tell me something? Is he coming on to me? Why would a squirrel come on to me? Even if his wife is cheating on him with Don Juan Raccoon I don't think I'd really be a squirrel's type. Not that I'm against inter-species relationships, it's just not really my thing. I'm not judging, I'm flattered, really, I just don't skitter down that side of the tree so to speak.
When discussing the question of life, the uni...wait a minute. What's he doing? Is...is he flipping me off? I think he's flipping me off! That little bastard! I mean, here I am, minding my own business, and trying to preach tolerance towards squirrels of alternative lifestyles and he's flipping me the bird! Some people just don't appreciate a tolerant viewpoint. Probably spent to much time hanging upside down on a tree trunk.
When discussing the question of life, the universe and every frickin' rodent that thinks he's better than you just 'cause he can climb a tree faster than you can say "Teflon" and stuff nuts in his cheeks 'til next Tuesday, one has to remember that at least we have opposable thumbs and we can chop down that tree he's climbing faster then he can say "Ch-ch-ch-ch-chee", or whatever the heck that sound is that squirrels make.
When discussing the question of life,...I'm a nice guy aren't I? I mean, I don't deserve this derisive treatment from a squirrel, right? I'm just trying to get through the day and along comes this arborean prairie dog with an attitude, and he's acting as if I'm the one with something to prove.
When disc...wait a sec...now there's two of them...what's going on. Another one just came out on the branch across the yard. I...I think their signaling to each other. Yes, their definitely signaling. It looks like some sort of semaphore. Where did squirrels manage to get a hold of little flags? Ok, the other one's gone now.
Now I'm all wierded out about this. I think I'll go lie down. I'll have to finish this later, when there's no squirrels around."
This was not my work. I actually have no idea who made this. I saw it somewhere, liked it, so I decided to post it.
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Aramor
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 2:58 pm Post subject: |
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Lol. Yeah, it's very funny. Has a little bit of Douglas Adams' style to it...
I've got a text somewhere, kinda like this one, but it's in dutch, so I'll have to translate it first.
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Pieh
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 3:18 pm Post subject: |
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Of course, this could turn into a (super mature) disscussion about the meaning of life and stuff like that. Or a discussion about how legions of squirrels will unite and take over the human race. either one.
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Ipsa
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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42
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Pieh
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 3:31 pm Post subject: |
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hooray for hitchhikers guide to the galaxy!
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Kurosaki Ichigo
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 3:34 pm Post subject: |
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| omfgpie wrote: | | Of course, this could turn into a (super mature) disscussion about the meaning of life and stuff like that. Or a discussion about how legions of squirrels will unite and take over the human race. either one. |
Your choice...
I'm ready to post either way.
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helmet boy
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 7:15 pm Post subject: |
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number 2, do number two.
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Simon_Says
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 7:52 pm Post subject: |
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You know, there's a theory that the question was "Where does it all end?". Cause at the end of the series, the final moments take place in some house numbered 42...
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Sal
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 8:27 pm Post subject: |
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this was pretty funny. "little flags" 
also, "super-mature"??? you gotta be kiddin.
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Pieh
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 8:45 pm Post subject: |
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| sal_p wrote: | | also, "super-mature"??? you gotta be kiddin. |
..yeah actually I was kidding. also the statement sorta contradicted itself cause mature people don't describe something of high caliber as "super"
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Sal
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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no they don't. i think they use "uber" instead.
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| Simon_Says wrote: | | Sal, you're my favourite member again. |
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Pieh
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 8:49 pm Post subject: |
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SUBER!
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Aramor
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| Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 4:45 am Post subject: |
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| omfgpie wrote: | | Or a discussion about how legions of squirrels will unite and take over the human race. either one. |
Jebus Christ... how many times have I told you guys it's not the squirrels, but the Sheep!!! LAY OFF THEM FRIGGIN SQUIRRELS!!!
And if it's not the Sheep, the Cipmunks are gonna do it...
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Digitaaliklosetti
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| Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 10:28 am Post subject: |
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Funny. I'm reminded of Monty Python's The Meaning of Life. You know, that scene in the meeting room, where that one guy theorizes that we're not able to ultimately find an answer to the question "What is the meaning of life", because we're so easily distracted by other things in life.
Or something else of that general direction.
It's been like four months since I saw that.
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Smiley
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| Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 12:05 pm Post subject: |
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Squirrels are good eatin'. Not stringy like opossum. A little but of a cross between deer and buffalo, but gamier.
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angelusraptor
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| Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 3:04 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry, no idea about this..
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Simon_Says
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Pieh
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| Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 6:17 pm Post subject: |
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| angelus_raptor wrote: |
Sorry, no idea about this.. |
I can't believe a person like you wouldn't know what 42 and "The Meaning of Life" is.
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Simon_Says
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| Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 6:23 pm Post subject: |
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It's not the meaning of life. It's The Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
With italics and capitilization of course.
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Anti
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| Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 6:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Smileypen wrote: | | Squirrels are good eatin'. Not stringy like opossum. A little but of a cross between deer and buffalo, but gamier. |
Being English, we don't have wildlife. It's all hanging upon the walls of the many stately homes around Britain, a testament to bored aristocracy through the ages.
We don't have opossums. Are they like possums, but, maybe of Irish extraction?
The only wildlife we have in Britain now are "Chavs". They're a demi-humanoid sub-species that, left to their devices, will alternately break into cars, and then stick spoilers on them. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chav
Chavs are a protected species in the UK, for now. We're trying to start up a hunting season, to manage their numbers. |
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Simon_Says
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| Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 6:31 pm Post subject: |
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What? I thought the Royal Family was wildlife as well...
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stupidgenius
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| Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 7:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Aramor wrote: | Jebus Christ... how many times have I told you guys it's not the squirrels, but the Sheep!!! LAY OFF THEM FRIGGIN SQUIRRELS!!!
And if it's not the Sheep, the Cipmunks are gonna do it... |
Finally, SOMEONE realizes it...
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Smiley
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| Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 7:59 pm Post subject: |
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You're both wrong. It's the dolpins.
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Pieh
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| Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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....d'oh!
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Simon_Says
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| Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 8:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Smileypen wrote: | | You're both wrong. It's the dolpins. |
No, I'm pretty sure it's the woolen ones.
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