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desert_drum
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 Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2005 3:26 pm Post subject: I did not have a bad week....You did not have a bad week.... |
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James Cave of Tecumseh, Oklahoma had a bad week.
Mr. Cave was bitten twice by a pygmy rattlesnake (which in spite of its size, is very poisonous). He fell backwards over a barrel in reaction...and landed on a copperhead (also quite poisonous), which also bit him twice.
To say the least, he's news in the region right now 
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Aramor
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Location: On a cyborg unicorn pony!
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| Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2005 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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How do you know I didn't have a bad week? Ok, compared to that guy, I didn't have a bad week...
Well, to say it a bit bluntly... sux2bhim!!!1!two
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Blaster
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| Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2005 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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Bad times.
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Metal_Pred
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Location: In My Kingdom Cold
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| Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2005 9:14 pm Post subject: |
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I still think the guy who died in elephant's crap, had a pretty bad couple of minutes.
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Crotchfire
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Joined: 06 Jun 2005
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Location: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
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| Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2005 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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I was born two months premature. When I was one, I was dropped on the porch. When I was two, I had pneumonia. When I was three, I got the chicken pox. When I was four, I fell down the stairs and broke six ribs. When I was five, my uncle was decapitated by a watermelon. When I was six, my parents hit me in the head with a shovel. When I was seven, I lost my right index finger to my pet rat. When I was eight, my dog Spike got hit by a tractor. When I was nine, my mother lost her arm to a rabid brahmin. When I was ten, my sister was torn to bits by a pack of dogs. When I was eleven, my grandfather killed himself, because I was ugly. When I was twelve, my grandmother killed herself, because I was ugly. When I was thirteen, my father poked out his eyes with a pitchfork in a drunken stupor. When I was fourteen, my brother lost his hand to a wallaby. When I was fifteen, my aunt choked to death on a chicken bone. When I was sixteen, I lost my cousin to a badger. When I was seventeen, I cut off my left big toe with a hoe. When I was eighteen, my father lost his right leg to the same tractor that killed my dog. When I was nineteen...
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Baraqiel
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Joined: 23 Jul 2005
Posts: 17
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
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| Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2005 10:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Crotchfire wrote: | | When I was seventeen, I cut off my left big toe with a hoe. |
That's why you don't mess with dem hoes, son.
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AAATripper
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Joined: 17 May 2005
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Location: Everywhere and Nowhere...
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| Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2005 10:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Crotchfire wrote: | | I was born two months premature. When I was one, I was dropped on the porch. When I was two, I had pneumonia. When I was three, I got the chicken pox. When I was four, I fell down the stairs and broke six ribs. When I was five, my uncle was decapitated by a watermelon. When I was six, my parents hit me in the head with a shovel. When I was seven, I lost my right index finger to my pet rat. When I was eight, my dog Spike got hit by a tractor. When I was nine, my mother lost her arm to a rabid brahmin. When I was ten, my sister was torn to bits by a pack of dogs. When I was eleven, my grandfather killed himself, because I was ugly. When I was twelve, my grandmother killed herself, because I was ugly. When I was thirteen, my father poked out his eyes with a pitchfork in a drunken stupor. When I was fourteen, my brother lost his hand to a wallaby. When I was fifteen, my aunt choked to death on a chicken bone. When I was sixteen, I lost my cousin to a badger. When I was seventeen, I cut off my left big toe with a hoe. When I was eighteen, my father lost his right leg to the same tractor that killed my dog. When I was nineteen... |
good god, i need to put you in my at-home-quarantine for further studies of your insides via x-ray. I believe you to be infected with the fabled bad luck snail. I'll start arranging for your flight to my current residence.
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Aramor
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| Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 6:04 am Post subject: |
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| Crotchfire wrote: | | I was born two months premature. When I was one, I was dropped on the porch. When I was two, I had pneumonia. When I was three, I got the chicken pox. When I was four, I fell down the stairs and broke six ribs. When I was five, my uncle was decapitated by a watermelon. When I was six, my parents hit me in the head with a shovel. When I was seven, I lost my right index finger to my pet rat. When I was eight, my dog Spike got hit by a tractor. When I was nine, my mother lost her arm to a rabid brahmin. When I was ten, my sister was torn to bits by a pack of dogs. When I was eleven, my grandfather killed himself, because I was ugly. When I was twelve, my grandmother killed herself, because I was ugly. When I was thirteen, my father poked out his eyes with a pitchfork in a drunken stupor. When I was fourteen, my brother lost his hand to a wallaby. When I was fifteen, my aunt choked to death on a chicken bone. When I was sixteen, I lost my cousin to a badger. When I was seventeen, I cut off my left big toe with a hoe. When I was eighteen, my father lost his right leg to the same tractor that killed my dog. When I was nineteen... |
Wow man, that really sucks... I just hope you don't have any children...
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Agent 47
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| Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 7:43 am Post subject: |
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when i was eleven years old, i got a fish hook in my eye 
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Crotchfire
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Location: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
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| Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 9:55 am Post subject: |
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"Wow man, that really sucks... I just hope you don't have any children..."
No, you see, when I was twenty-two a fungus started growing on my testi...
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Aramor
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| Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 11:17 am Post subject: |
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Stop! I don't wanna hear about it anymore!!!
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| Syn wrote: | | your balls didn't get suck |
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Holly Resurrected
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Location: The Shadow Gallery
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| Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 5:46 pm Post subject: |
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| Crotchfire wrote: | "Wow man, that really sucks... I just hope you don't have any children..."
No, you see, when I was twenty-two a fungus started growing on my testi... |
And thus the name Crotchfire! Actually, I've been meaning to ask you about where the name came from. Is it just a random thing or might it have to do with the MST3K episode "Parts: The Clonus Horror"? "They really are on top of Old Smokey."
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Crotchfire
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| Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 8:36 pm Post subject: |
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Actually, I got the when I remembered a commercial for a board game in the early nineties called "Crossfire"... It was a sweet commercial, with a killer song in the background "Crawss-fi-uh... you'll get caught up in the... crawss-fi-uh... (drum solo)... HOO!!! Crawss-fi-uh... CRAWSS-FI-UH... CRAWSSSSS-FIIII-UHHHHHHHH (you'll get caught up in it)! HOOAH!!!"
at some point last year, it occurred to me that the song would be funnier if instead of Crossfire, you had Crotchfire, and from that point on, I began using the name Crotchfire whenever I need an online/gaming alias.
...and so, the name Crotchfire was born.
By the way, Aramor and I were repeating a conversation from Fallout 2, pretty much word-for-word, just so you're not confused. =P
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The official MILF-masta of the AlP forums.
In addition to my well-documented exploits, my first two initials are MF. Seriously, I'm not making that up. |
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ash_wednesday
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Posts: 749
Location: Canadia
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| Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 4:26 am Post subject: |
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| Crotchfire wrote: | "Wow man, that really sucks... I just hope you don't have any children..."
No, you see, when I was twenty-two a fungus started growing on my testi... |
Stop having sex with mushrooms and that wouldn't happen.
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Holly Resurrected
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Location: The Shadow Gallery
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| Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 4:48 am Post subject: |
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| Crotchfire wrote: | | Actually, I got the when I remembered a commercial for a board game in the early nineties called "Crossfire"... It was a sweet commercial, with a killer song in the background "Crawss-fi-uh... you'll get caught up in the... crawss-fi-uh... (drum solo)... HOO!!! Crawss-fi-uh... CRAWSS-FI-UH... CRAWSSSSS-FIIII-UHHHHHHHH (you'll get caught up in it)! HOOAH!!! |
I remember that one! It was like "Hungry Hungry Hippos" except all post-apocolyptic. I can even sing the song! And now, thanks to your ass, I'm never going to be able to hear it correctly again. I'm going to be singing to myself, "Crotchfire, you'll get caught up in the...Crotchfire..." Heh, that's actually pretty funny.
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The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
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Aramor
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Location: On a cyborg unicorn pony!
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| Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 4:48 am Post subject: |
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| Crotchfire wrote: | | By the way, Aramor and I were repeating a conversation from Fallout 2, pretty much word-for-word, just so you're not confused. =P |
I wonder how many other people knew that...
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| Photoshopperholic wrote: | | Mighty Lord Aramor |
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| Syn wrote: | | your balls didn't get suck |
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Ruthless Nate
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Joined: 12 Jul 2005
Posts: 26
Location: Oklahoma
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| Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 11:24 am Post subject: Re: I did not have a bad week....You did not have a bad week |
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| desert_drum wrote: | James Cave of Tecumseh, Oklahoma had a bad week.
Mr. Cave was bitten twice by a pygmy rattlesnake (which in spite of its size, is very poisonous). He fell backwards over a barrel in reaction...and landed on a copperhead (also quite poisonous), which also bit him twice.
To say the least, he's news in the region right now |
Oddly, I live in the Oklahoma City area and have heard nothing of this...
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desert_drum
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| Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 11:25 am Post subject: Re: I did not have a bad week....You did not have a bad week |
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| Ruthless Nate wrote: |
Oddly, I live in the Oklahoma City area and have heard nothing of this... |
Lord, he's the local bad joke around here at the moment.
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Ruthless Nate
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Location: Oklahoma
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| Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 11:29 am Post subject: Re: I did not have a bad week....You did not have a bad week |
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| desert_drum wrote: | | Ruthless Nate wrote: |
Oddly, I live in the Oklahoma City area and have heard nothing of this... |
Lord, he's the local bad joke around here at the moment. |
Well, considering the link is for a Tulsa station, that may be why I've heard nothing. And also my tendency to watch the important news first and then turn it off may have something to do with my ignorance.
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AAATripper
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Location: Everywhere and Nowhere...
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| Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 8:45 am Post subject: |
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i heard about this on my safety briefing for our last airsoft match ( the 5th of July, i think.)
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desert_drum
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| Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 2:34 pm Post subject: |
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Whoops, we got us a new local joke this week. This guy:
A San Antonio man was arrested Monday after calling police to complain about the theft of his marijuana.
Stephen Knight, 17, said three men had broken into his apartment, hogtied him with Christmas lights and stole some marijuana and a plasma screen television, police said.
Police are looking for the suspects. In the meantime, they arrested Knight after finding several marijuana plants growing under heat lamps in the apartment, four grams of harvested marijuana and a tablet of ecstasy, Officer Chad Ripley said.
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Bounty
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Location: Out and About
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| Posted: Wed Jul 27, 2005 12:33 am Post subject: |
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what a dipsh*t
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Metal_Pred
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Location: In My Kingdom Cold
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| Posted: Wed Jul 27, 2005 9:14 am Post subject: |
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hahaha hes such an idiot.
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Dahaka
Joined: 01 Feb 2005
Posts: 183
Location: TN, originally from NY
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| Posted: Wed Jul 27, 2005 10:08 am Post subject: |
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There has also been a rash of fake kidnappings.
One dude told police that he had been robbed, then kidnapped. He told them he escaped the car (can't remember) by using the emergency trunk release. Upon inspection the cops discovered the type of car he mentioned didn't have emergency releases installed ever, and they found $400 in his pocket.
He was making it up to have an alibi for his wife for being at a stripjoint.
My question is, how did he still have $400 on him.
Sorry i can't tell this better i heard it on the radio last night.
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Metal_Pred
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Location: In My Kingdom Cold
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| Posted: Wed Jul 27, 2005 10:27 am Post subject: |
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| Dahaka wrote: | There has also been a rash of fake kidnappings.
One dude told police that he had been robbed, then kidnapped. He told them he escaped the car (can't remember) by using the emergency trunk release. Upon inspection the cops discovered the type of car he mentioned didn't have emergency releases installed ever, and they found $400 in his pocket.
He was making it up to have an alibi for his wife for being at a stripjoint.
My question is, how did he still have $400 on him.
Sorry i can't tell this better i heard it on the radio last night. |
Is it just me or did he get into a complicated scheme just to go to a stripjoint when he could have just said he was goin to a friends house and then telling his friend to cover for him.
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