Probably safe for work, but definitely adult

[desert_drum]

http://www.hootisland.com/text/erot/

The whole site is a riot, but this is the best.
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"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." - Douglas Adams

[ash_wednesday]

damn..got blocked at work...
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"You're lucky attacking ends the spell or I would smack the crap out of all of you."

"Bite my 50% miss chance."

--Order of the Stick

[Holly Resurrected]

My favorite? "Gripple". Gotta love it.
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The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

Still internet married to Tripper.

[desert_drum]

I'm rather fond of "vagenius."
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"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." - Douglas Adams

[Blaster]

Good stuff.
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Context is everything.

[Alph Tech / STUART]

ejacduration (ee-JAHK-dur-AY-shun) n. The elapsed time between the perception of semen as a fiery, sensuous, pumping flood of animalistic lava and the perception of semen as a cold, sticky, runny, disgusting goddamn nuisance, usually about forty-five seconds (your time may vary).

Try like a fifth of that.