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I hate shaving.
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:48 pm    Post subject: I hate shaving. Reply with quote

My razor needed to be replaced today.

I'm one of those most unfortunate men who have a five o'clock shadow, which I guess is because I'm half Hungarian.

This sucks for me, because the popularized style for men over the last few years has been that we should have as little hair as possible anywhere not on the tops of our heads.

I suspect that this is a conspiracy crafted by the razorblade manufacturers of the nation, but I cannot get away with having a thick, full beard and hair EVERYWHERE on my body without losing some degree of sex appeal... popular culture influences our ideas of what is and what isn't sexy, no matter how independent-minded we may be. So, if I were to go with the thick, heavy beard with which I am naturally cursed, I would be somewhat less attractive to all women in this country who don't have a "thing" for beards.

So I give in to popular, commercialized conceptions of how a man is supposed to be sexy (to some degree, I'll be DAMNED if I shave off the forest of hair on my chest), and I shave my face.

But shaving my face SUCKS. As I have said previously, I'm half Hungarian. I have a lot of hair EVERYWHERE, and that extends to my face. It grows back quickly, too.

Shaving my upper lip especially sucks, because I can never, no matter HOW hard I try get rid of the darker shading there, and it's sensitive there anyway, so shaving off the moustache twice a day just feels so futile. Plus, all this excessive shaving is giving me major razorburn.

So I got to thinking, how do women shave their legs? Odds are that there exist almost no women who've got hair on their legs as thick and as fast-growing as is the hair on my face, but still, if a woman has to shave her legs once every, I don't know... maybe two days? that would still suck.

I'd heard of hair-removal products and thought: maybe I should try some of that stuff on my face... Nair is the product that I considered. If the advertising were to be believed, then it could keep hair off for several days. SEVERAL DAYS! That's a big deal for a fellow like me.

Maybe I could finally do away with the constant razorburn! So I went down to the local pharmacy... and couldn't find it. Now, I couldn't find it anywhere near the men's shaving section, and I had to ask a salesperson where it would be... but that's kind of an embarrassing thing for a guy to ask: "Hi, uh... where can I find the Nair?" Anyway, I eventually got up the courage to buy some Nair. Rather than going for the super-effeminate pink-strawberry kind, I went for the somewhat-less-effeminate pastel teal kind.

I got home, and was about to put it on my by-now-thickening beard when I saw the warning label: "Warning: do not put on nipples, genitalia, face, blah, blah, or blah."

However, I'll be DAMNED if I buy something and don't put it to use. ...So I used it on the twin jungles of my armpits.

I didn't really know what to expect, having never used such a product before. But I certainly didn't expect all of my pit hair to turn into DISGUSTING, SMELLY, GOO.

Holy crap that shit stinks. Hopefully the smell will go away before long... But I've got to say, my armpits are now hairless... and it's not a horrible hairless.

I once tried to shave my armpits with a razor, and that was a BIG mistake. The stubble left over irritated the skin to no end and I was itching for a week. I don't know how this'll turn out, but no itching so far, and hopefully the hair will stay away for a while.

However, I SINCERELY hope that at some point it will again be sexy for a guy to have facial and body hair. Modern conceptions of attractiveness REALLY suck.
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Frost



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I definately agree with you.

Most definately.

Shaving sucks...
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

... mtfbwy
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Holly Resurrected



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 11:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, Nair stinks pretty bad, but it does work. And they've got some razberry-smelling stuff too. Another thing to think about might be waxing. Not your face, but maybe other places. It's not nearly as bad as it sounds, and you don't have to do it more than once every two weeks or so. There's lots of parlors that have plenty of male clients nowadays. Metrosexuals, you know.

I just use a razor, most of the time. Lady razors are pretty gentle and have those moisturizing lotion things attached. I tried some of that razorless stuff they advertised awhile ago but it leaves a horrible rash. Don't get it.

Or, you could just leave a little stubble. It worked for Aragorn.



Of course not everybody can be Viggo, but it couldn't hurt.
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desert_drum



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 12:15 am    Post subject: Re: I hate shaving. Reply with quote

Crotchfire wrote:

So I give in to popular, commercialized conceptions of how a man is supposed to be sexy (to some degree, I'll be DAMNED if I shave off the forest of hair on my chest), and I shave my face.


Chest hair...good. Back hair...BAD.

Crotchfire wrote:

Shaving my upper lip especially sucks, because I can never, no matter HOW hard I try get rid of the darker shading there, and it's sensitive there anyway, so shaving off the moustache twice a day just feels so futile. Plus, all this excessive shaving is giving me major razorburn.


There's stuff to help razorburn. Drakkar Noir makes a nice cream stuff my fella swears by. And it smells gooooood. Wink

Crotchfire wrote:

So I got to thinking, how do women shave their legs? Odds are that there exist almost no women who've got hair on their legs as thick and as fast-growing as is the hair on my face, but still, if a woman has to shave her legs once every, I don't know... maybe two days? that would still suck.


About once a week for me. It does grow more slowly, but it's coarse stuff. Check the hair on your legs; it's probably about the same texture, just not as much. Shaving it is a beast, and very unfun. I have a nasty and quite permanent scar just above my right foot from shaving. The scenario: Prop foot up on sink to shave leg. Put razor to leg. Foot slips off sink.

It ripped a chunk out of my leg about the size of a quarter (assuming that comparison means anything to you?).

Crotchfire wrote:

I'd heard of hair-removal products and thought: maybe I should try some of that stuff on my face... Nair is the product that I considered. If the advertising were to be believed, then it could keep hair off for several days. SEVERAL DAYS! That's a big deal for a fellow like me.


In my experience, it doesn't last much longer than shaving does. And you already discovered the smell. They're not kidding about not putting it on sensitive skin. A chemical burn hurts in a way razor burn can't begin to match. It'll likely leave a rash, too - a very visible one. It being close to your eyes is a bad thing, too; imagine those fumes inches away. There's also this joyous fact: The more an area has been shaved, the less the Nair works. So on a daily-shaved face, you'd probably be doing it for nothing.

There are depilatories meant for the face; I couldn't say how well they work, but I assume they aren't as strong.
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desert_drum



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 12:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Holly wrote:

Or, you could just leave a little stubble. It worked for Aragorn.



[shameless drooling]Oh gods, did it ever.[/shameless drooling]
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BaconNeggs



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 12:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wait I thought Nair was for "bikini area"? it says don't put it near genitalia. I think i saw nair for men the other day, not sure what the difference is.
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Digitaaliklosetti



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 4:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm actually a bit jealous. It takes me two full weeks to grow something that could be called a moustache, not a freaky stubble with some long hairs pointing out and my *ahem* beard grows everywhere on my face, except the places where it might actually look good to some extenct. If my body ever decides to just let go of the little puberty phase, I'll grow a porn 'tash.

I do hate shaving, too, though. While I am unable to grow a full anything on my face, I'll be sporting a nasty, teenager stubble in about 10 hours.

God I love talking about myself.

And I wanna look like Viggo. The ladies would be all over me and I'd just be like "No time, ladies. Gotta jet!" and then I'd just jump on this conveniently placed skateboard and slowly slide downhill, while striking a pose.
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Munan
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 5:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I only have to shave once or twice a week (sometimes it's nice to have an Asian father), but I still really hate shaving.

Digitaaliklosetti wrote:
If my body ever decides to just let go of the little puberty phase, I'll grow a porn 'tash.


So the hairy chest-avatar is a compensation?

Just a question, no comment. No no. Wouldn't dream of it. Just giving you the opportunity to talk a little bit more about yourself.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 6:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My facial hair is also growing real slow... I wanna beard like James Hetfield... but it's growing at an incredible slow rate... I mean, I do feel some soft fluffyness on my chin... but that's all there's to it...

Hmmmmmm... Elessar....
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 7:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Trust me, guys: having a thick beard is NOT a blessing. It'd be great if the "in" look for guys was to have beards, but it's not, and it won't be if people don't stop subscribing to the overfeminized, hairless, hollywood ideal of how men are supposed to look.

Just that in and of itself is enough to make me hate mainstream popular culture... but there are other reasons too.

I'm just Teed-off because I discovered stubble on my armpits this morning, so the Nair doesn't last all that much longer than just shaving.

I sincerely hope that the werewolf look becomes popular within my lifetime.
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Mr Xeno



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 8:32 am    Post subject: hey hey Reply with quote

i hate when i wake up and i need to shave my facial hair and if i forget it
then my friends laugh at me Crying or Very sad
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 9:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Wait I thought Nair was for "bikini area"? it says don't put it near genitalia.


Right. So using *snicker* that *giggle* near genitalia *hehehe* might just set your *heheheeeeeeeeeeeehehe* crotch on fire...?
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 10:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

munan wrote:
Quote:
Wait I thought Nair was for "bikini area"? it says don't put it near genitalia.


Right. So using *snicker* that *giggle* near genitalia *hehehe* might just set your *heheheeeeeeeeeeeehehe* crotch on fire...?


Bwahahahahaaaaaa... funny... tee hee... (why isn't there a "crying out loud beacuse I'm laughing so hard"smily?)
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InvaderJess



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 1:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hate to go against the grain here, but I love men with facial hair. Facial hair is so my thing. Very sexy. Nicely trimmed little gotee's = hot. Unkempt wild beards = do me now. I'm telling you, I used to be a wee bit jealous of my best friend because here boyfriend had a full beard and mustach. Then he shaved and now I'm like... ewww. Oh, and I forgot to shave this morning stubble is pretty damn sexy too.
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 2:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Please marry me now.
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desert_drum



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 7:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

InvaderJess wrote:
Hate to go against the grain here, but I love men with facial hair.


My fella does the scruffy, one step too far back from the razor look. Mmmmm. I'm with you on this one. Smile

EDIT: Die, typos, die.
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desert_drum



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 7:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

BaconNeggs wrote:
Wait I thought Nair was for "bikini area"? it says don't put it near genitalia. I think i saw nair for men the other day, not sure what the difference is.


I suspect the only difference in Nair for men is the packaging. Less pink, frilly and repulsive to the males Wink

Bikini area != pubic area. Not all of it, anyway.
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

InvaderJess wrote:
Nicely trimmed little gotee's = hot. Unkempt wild beards = do me now.

desert_drum wrote:
Mmmmm. I'm with you on this one.


*Ahem*

Very Happy
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 8:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I second...



Woot.
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desert_drum



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 8:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blaster wrote:

*Ahem*

Very Happy


Score one for the Blaster-man! Wink
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Holly Resurrected



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 8:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:
I second...



Woot.


The little bag with the Crown Royal completes the look, I think. This is getting into the wierd now.
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Digitaaliklosetti



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote



So yeah.
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 9:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

beardcommunity.com?
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Crotchfire



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 10:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alrighty then, you've all convinced me of the course of action that I must take. I shall let the hair on my face burst forth with new freedom and vitality, I shall GROW OUT MY BEARD!

...and the devil... THE DEVIL, I SAY!... with the consequences! I shall throw off the shackles of razorburn!
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