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Sal



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 5:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

psst, wanna buy pants? practically not used.
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Nron



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 9:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lunabella wrote:
I agree. It would make great internet video material.


What? the blades working or the blades malfunctioning and shearing of his hand at the wrist?
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Carlo Sandiego



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 10:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nron wrote:
Lunabella wrote:
I agree. It would make great internet video material.


What? the blades working or the blades malfunctioning and shearing of his hand at the wrist?


Either, and they'd probably both end up with the same badly-spelled comments arguing politics and which martial arts work "on the street."
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 6:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sal wrote:
psst, wanna buy pants? practically not used.


Psst, wanna buy condoms? Practically not used!
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Lunabella



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 6:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Carlo Sandiego wrote:
Nron wrote:
Lunabella wrote:
I agree. It would make great internet video material.


What? the blades working or the blades malfunctioning and shearing of his hand at the wrist?


Either, and they'd probably both end up with the same badly-spelled comments arguing politics and which martial arts work "on the street."



Aaah, youtube comments, the only real constant in the universe.
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Carlo Sandiego



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lunabella wrote:


Aaah, youtube comments, the only real constant in the universe.


I've started a project to divide the commenter into categories...here's as far as I've gotten.

Dumbass Martial Artist: Takes a mildly impractical martial art; instead of looking for the particular sections of it which ARE helpful in some way and focusing on those, tries to pretend the whole martial art is magical and powerful and CHI ENERGY and will kick your ass.

Smug Jackass Martial Artist: Takes/Wants to take/Reveres BJJ. Considers ground grappling the best thing in the universe. Arguments borne out by 90% of MMA fights. No use talking to this commenter about the difference between a sport with relatively few rules and a real fight with NO rules; will not listen to you.

Badly-Spelled Stumper: Loves a certain political view; will argue it on a video that has nothing to do with it. Spells badly. Logic sucks. Doesn't understand economics, science, how politics actually works. May love guns, although this is not required.

Spacy, Peace-obsessed Person Who Comments on Native American Music:
Scares me. Scares me VERY MUCH.

Anything you'd like to add?
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Simon_Says



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Homo Sapiens Utubus

Species of hominid marked by extreme intellectual bankruptcy. Idiotically aggressive, pathetically lazy, yet still able to survive due to extremely frequent copulation. Considered a pest species by most others, and frequently themselves, utubus have so far proven resilient to extermination efforts.


Homo Sapiens Polski

Species of homind, also known as the 'Human Magpie'. Extreme kleptomania dominates polski behavior. Considered a pest species by most, howev- *Error 21481: Polish stole the rest of dis shit right up.*


Homo Sapiens Marcellus

Species of hominid, identifiable by its likeness to a black, bald bitch. Th- *Error 21482: Polish stole this shit right up too, yo!*
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Lunabella



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 5:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

to continue on the Youtube posters:




-The animal rights activist: Thinks about every animal movie that doesn't include a puppy/kitten sitting on it's ass is animal abuse. Cat hissing at the vet? - animal abuse
pretending to throw the ball so the dog will run, but to no advance? -Animal abuse
Feeding pet pirahna's with live prey? - Animal abuse.
The list goes on. Most of the times, these posters are represented by 13 year old girls.

- The I'll find you in real life and kick your ass poster: For some reason these people still assume every person on the internet is a scrawny geek, and as soon as you disagree with them, they'll threaten you by stating they could kick your ass in real life. Can most of the times directly be linked to any of the before posted "martial arts commenter"

- The random insulter: He'll find a movie, then search for a person in the 10000+ comments which he doesn't agree with, and proceed to insult this poster, usually resulting in a 20+ post comeback to insult reaction, most of the times involving someone's mother, ethnicity and spelling.

- The "I'm a stoner": 90% of his replies will include the fact that he's stoned, drunk or whatever, and that the movie is so weird when watching it. Often people who consider smoking a joint as heavy drug using, and thus being cool. Or something.

- The know it all : He'll correct your spelling, and his knowledge is VAST. Too bad all his knowledge is not from him being a fine scholar, but more of a person having wikipedia opened in a seperate window.

- The "you will die if you don't do 'random act + post on 3-5 - 10 other videos' or similar bullshit" person. People actually do this. Worst of all, they don't even believe it themselves most of the times. One time, someone posted a similar thing, only that 'if you don't do X, your mother will die'. I sent him a private message telling him I did not do any of those things, and that my mother was still thriving, and demanded an explanation. My worst fears were confirmed, as I got a reply telling me it "wasn't real LOL" Which leads me to believe that the human species is indeed a lost cause.

- the "I'm street" poster: So you're street. Maybe you hate those that "diss your skating", or "those cracka's that keep the man down." You're a bad ass. Big deal. Get in line. Congratulations on being mediocre.

- The anarchist : You hate cops. Every single video that involves them, you claim that ALL of them are corrupt, and that every cop is the same donut munching lard ass. You claim that no law enforcement would provide for a better living environment. Video's that don't involve police will have comments on corrupted governments, and how a simple little man like you KNOW what is going on behind the curtains at the top.

- The environmentalist: Will only comment positive on music video's that have slide shows of nature pictures. Any other video will be turned into an environmental discussion, while you still sit at home behind your pc, consuming your globalist products like the nice sheep you are.

- The political correct one: Especially found with posters from the USA. They're from either the republican or the democrat party, but whatever party they're in, the other parties' candidates are PURE EVIL and seek nothing else but to DESTROY your beautiful country. No matter which idiot or what oddball their own party puts forth as a candidate, he must get their vote. They'll turn movies about some guy showing his soccer tricks into a discussion about how the new president is either an evil man seeking to destroy the nation, or a superhero that'll save the world, depending on which party you belong to, of course. You already threw away everything your forefathers fought so hard for by being a slave of your own 'party'.


Feel free to add more. it'll spice up this topic.
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Carlo Sandiego



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 11:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Peacemaker: A rare, aberrant species. Will respond to illogical, moronic, and badly-spelled posts with a moderate, even-tempered statement based firmly in fact. STILL hasn't quite figured out that responding to them means they win.

Doesn't Know Much About History: Thinks slipknot and disturbed are better than Black Sabbath, Classical music is shit, Mark Twain couldn't write, the Romans never lost a battle, the Samurai were the most skilled warriors in history, the Katana was the best sword ever because they totally proved it on a TV show, and the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.
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Aurelyn
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 8:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simon_Says wrote:


Homo Sapiens Polski

Species of homind, also known as the 'Human Magpie'. Extreme kleptomania dominates polski behavior. Considered a pest species by most, howev- *Error 21481: Polish stole the rest of dis shit right up.*


Homo Sapiens Marcellus

Species of hominid, identifiable by its likeness to a black, bald bitch. Th- *Error 21482: Polish stole this shit right up too, yo!*


lolz
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Aurelyn becomes enraged by imbecilic displays of illiteracy, as is his wont.


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Sal would know. He stole many jobs from guys named Shaun.
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Syn



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PostPosted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 4:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lunabella wrote:
Feel free to add more. it'll spice up this topic.


The "My brother or best mate" poster: This asshole is usually so lonely that everytime he sees something that he wishes he/she could do or have, they dis it and say their brother or best mate has one, or has done it better. You usually see this alot with car related stuff.
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Bloo



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PostPosted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 4:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

- The fanboy that doesn't give a shit: He will, most times, come out of fucking no where and start a giant flame war contained within the comment section of some poor fellow's video about how what he represents is best and everything else sucks.

When confronted by a [group of] user(s) that humiliate said fanboy in front of everyone he will attempt to fight back with crass jokes and the constant, "i dunz giv3 a SHIT why dunt u go bak to ur mommy," and maybe call everyone a fucker, and rant more about his subject. Maybe eventually he'll start talking more about how he doesn't give a shit. He will then troll more videos until his mother calls him up for his daily plate of pizza roles.

This guy can usually be associated with every other type of fuck out there, namely the Dumbass Martial Artist, the random insulter, the I'll find you in real life and kick your ass poster,
Badly-Spelled Stumper, and if he (at first) might seem intelligent, the know it all.

He can also be incredibly stubborn and arrogant. And quite humorous, even if they don't realize it at first (or ever).
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stephenxanders



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 8:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

CLHanssen wrote:
Mine is the net gun, plasma cannon, and the disk.



GO PLASMA CANNON Smile
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CLHanssen



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PostPosted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 11:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for all your comments.
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Aurelyn
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 9:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why would you thank us? - most of them had nothing to do with the topic.
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Aurelyn becomes enraged by imbecilic displays of illiteracy, as is his wont.


Simon_Says wrote:
Sal would know. He stole many jobs from guys named Shaun.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 11:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Psst, maybe it was sarcasm...
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Aurelyn
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 11:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Somehow, I think not.
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Master Chainsaw wrote:
Aurelyn becomes enraged by imbecilic displays of illiteracy, as is his wont.


Simon_Says wrote:
Sal would know. He stole many jobs from guys named Shaun.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, it could be then that he was just being polite.
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Bloo



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 9:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

We owe it to this guy for even trying to start an honest conversation about things that kill other things without expecting it to be thread-jacked and raped with a ten-inch whatever and then thanking us for said raping with a sort of rare politeness as if to say, "I didn't really care what you did, I just wanted to know you'd be there."

Like, come on, dude.

I'm going to honor that statement and go ahead and say my favorite weapon is the super laser that freezes when shot out so that it's like a sword thing that never breaks unless you cut its handle in half.
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Aramor



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PostPosted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

But wait, how does that laser know when to freeze?
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