December 15, 2004 at 2:20 pm

The operators in Toronto are nearly as bad.

They just say “Please stand clear of the doors, the doors are closing” and then they open and shut the doors really fast in an attempt to mangle anyone foolish enough not to listen.

December 15, 2004 at 3:18 pm

I think the best thing I’ve heard on the subway in a while was announced by the driver (?) as the L train was pulling out of a station: “There’s a woman in the front car who, just as I was pulling into the station, decided to bend down to pick up her bag. She was standing right next to the platform edge. One nudge or stumble and I would have taken her fool head off. Think, people! I can’t be the only one looking out for your safety.” Well that’s roughly it, anyway. Everyone just kinda stared at their feet, but man I wish I had that recorded.

December 15, 2004 at 4:09 pm

If they really want to make people stand clear, make the doors have sharp edges instead of the black rubber edges. Think though they would have to make the doors close slowly.

December 15, 2004 at 7:32 pm

*ick* subways…

Although I do have some fond memories of subways while someone accidentally pushed the emergency button and then everyone ran around frantically :lol:

December 16, 2004 at 12:36 am

in DC we have this recorded bell that goes, ‘bing bonggg’ and a woman’s voice that says ‘doors closing. please stand clear of the doors.’ really pleasantly.

but then everything else is announced by the conductors and the PA systems are really crappy so you have no idea what they’re saying, so you just have to know what the next station is and what it transfers to. :roll:

December 16, 2004 at 2:40 am

I used to live in Hong Kong, and they have a pre-recorded voice (in English and Chinese) for all the stations and door closing announcements.

I don’t take the sky train much in Vancouver, but I faintly remember that they also use a pre recorded system…

Having a conductor sounds fun :)

December 16, 2004 at 9:48 am

<quote> As far as I can tell, their only job is to press those buttons to open and close the doors </quote>

And you wonder why they’re so nasty? What a deadly job!

December 16, 2004 at 12:11 pm

Driver on the Boston T got everyone to sing Happy Birthday to me a few weeks ago.
Puts ‘em in my good books.

December 16, 2004 at 12:19 pm

Anyone ever read the book “Midnight Meat Train” by Clive Barker?
It’s in one of his Books of Blood, very disturbing, I wonder if all the Drivers of the subway cars area really part of an elaborate underground society…..strange.

I do not think theyare human…or more human than human…..strange.

December 16, 2004 at 4:38 pm

Yeah, the subways in DC give you a warning when the doors are closing somewhat. It’s very annoying down there. And the doors close no matter what, I’ve seen people try to hold it but hell thats not going to work. It’s not an elevator. And yes, whenever the people come over the speaker on the train you have no freakin idea what they are saying! Man oh man…

December 16, 2004 at 9:45 pm

The best subway style trains I ever heard are in Europe. The ones that come to mind are in Frankfurt and Switzerlan I think. They have these airy soft female voices and at every stop is a pleasant sounding “ding” instead of a harsh ringing!

February 2, 2005 at 5:29 am

Best conductor response ever to a fool holding the doors: loooooong silence, then “IN OR OUT, WHAT’S IT GONNA BE?”

February 2, 2005 at 3:35 pm

I would have modified it slightly to “What’s it gonna be, boy: yes, or no?”

June 22, 2006 at 4:38 pm

Visiting Singapore one time my sisters and I burst out laughing on the MRT when we pulled into a station and the recording said "Choa Chu Kang" ‘cos there’s a Singaporean sitcom called "Phua Chu Kang". (being Malaysians, we didn’t know it was named AFTER the station…the natives must have thought we were mad) :oops:

BART Rider
June 16, 2009 at 2:22 pm

In the bay area, we have either a binng or a voice that says “The doors are closing. Please stand clear of the doors”. If someone gets in the way, an announcement (that is rather annoying) says “The doors on this car have been obstructed. Please stand clear of the doors so the train can depart”.

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