Comments

anateus
March 28, 2005 at 9:04 am

you have exposited the jews’ secret call!

oh noes!

i’ve been challering at my friends for ages. and they certainly challah back.

also, ever wondered what’s kabbalah backwards? oh yes. yes, it is.

Stu
March 28, 2005 at 9:20 am

Not to be blasphemous (here? Never!), but I have heard Jesus F***** Christ many a times as well.

Unfortunately (or maybe quite fortunately), I don’t have a link to the etymology of that.

Stu
March 28, 2005 at 9:22 am

However, I did find a link to the origins of Challah.

Dahaka
March 28, 2005 at 11:51 am

I’ve baked it at one of my old jobs.
It has a high density.

The impact of a standard lb could actually be quite devistating with the right velocity.

Treach
March 28, 2005 at 12:09 pm

Stu wrote:
Not to be blasphemous (here? Never!), but I have heard Jesus F***** Christ many a times as well.

Hmmmm, starts with F, 6 letters….

Jesus Freaky Christ?

tesla32
March 28, 2005 at 12:17 pm

Do you think Jesus can sense the loaf of bread coming flying at him, you know, with his holy extrasensory perception?
I wonder what Jesus’ take on Jesus juice is.

spastic freakshow
March 28, 2005 at 12:58 pm

:idea: [color=green:f650d032fe] *if* yeshua (his real name, he had no middle name) HAD a last name (and this is the only one up for guessing in my yeshua-was-a-jew thread) it was Ben-Yosef… so think about Yeshua Ben-Yosef… [/color:f650d032fe]

Just Some Guy
March 28, 2005 at 3:11 pm

Is there some New-York-Jew thing where people throw baked goods at each other for a greeting? I feel like I’m missing out on some weird pun here, and I think you blog entry should clear it up… but your blog entry doesn’t say anything about Challah at all.

As for the H, I’m sure it never did stand for anything. The only use of it is to add an extra syllable when cussing someone out. Rhythm is critical for loud-volume dialog.

Xeno.Morph
March 28, 2005 at 3:45 pm

What’s a Challah and how does it sound like Holla? Is it like that thing where in old times Y = J in the east and such?

Hmm. Well, I’m pretty sure if you read the bible, it’ll tell you Jesus’s full name. But then again, I’ve never read the bible front to back, so I wouldn’t know. I didn’t even know he HAD a middle name that started with H. It’s just one of those things you accept and don’t question, right? Like, does Buddha have a last name? Or is that his last name and he has a secret first name? Or is it not so secret and I’m/we’re so ignorant that I/we don’t know? It could be, like, a conspiracy. I think I’m paranoid. Or that’s just what they want me/us to think. Or is it? I said or a lot. Like iron ore. Gold ore. Silver ore. Mercury… I don’t think there IS mercury ore. It’s liquid. But it could be solid under pressure… Eh, I’m off-topic now. FREEDOM IS MINE!

scottfreestyle
March 28, 2005 at 4:54 pm

buddha’s last name, if by “buddha” we’re talking about the earthly the incarnation upon whom buddhism as we know it is based, was guatama (or gotama). his first name was siddhartha (give the herman hesse book by that name a spin; it’s a quick, easy, one-day pop buddhist read).

as for j.c., i’m going with “harry.” what i wanna know is where the put the popsicle stick…

Silent Watcher
March 28, 2005 at 6:10 pm

Ben-Yosef is, by some accounts, the last name of Joseph, earthly father of Jesus. How accurate this is is hard to say. “Yeshua” is a poor romanization of the Hebrew pronounciation of “Jesus” (“Jesus” is the name in Greek, which was the language the original Gospels were written in.) Since “Jesus H. Christ” is, for the most part, only used in America, it most likely is a cut-down version of “Jesus, Holy Christ!” which is indeed used. However, the theory involving the Greek letter eta, seen in the old Greek writing of Jesus, is rather interesting.

Challah is a type of bread often referred to as “egg bread” and associated with Judaism, though the bread is actually made in many different cultures. It’s that yellowish bread with the shiny crust you see at bakeries and supermarkets. What we see here is Abe’s incredible density and inability to understand what’s going on. While Preston offers possible suggestions for the initial “H,” Abe spurts a bunch of nonsense and then his attempt to make it not seem like nonsense. So when Preston suggests, “Holla,” Abe replies, “Challah,” which does sound somewhat similar. Then, instead of “Holla atcha later, mah brother” or something of the like, he replaces “Holla” with “Challah” and then, later on, he does indeed toss a Challah at Jesus.

Nothing like dissecting and overanalyzing a joke until you beat it into the ground with un-funniness.

Xeno.Morph
March 28, 2005 at 9:01 pm

Oh, yeah, make me look like a moron.

Quote the above statement and die.

(I just know someone’s gonna do it.)

*Throws a Challah at Bernie*

Guest
March 28, 2005 at 9:19 pm

Why is that giant floating brain following Jesus at the end?

newblet
March 28, 2005 at 10:40 pm

after reading all the above you ask why is there a brain following jesus… you make me cry a little on the inside -sigh-

Brax
March 29, 2005 at 12:26 am

Xeno.Morph wrote:
What’s a Challah and how does it sound like Holla? Is it like that thing where in old times Y = J in the east and such?

Hmm. Well, I’m pretty sure if you read the bible, it’ll tell you Jesus’s full name. But then again, I’ve never read the bible front to back, so I wouldn’t know. I didn’t even know he HAD a middle name that started with H. It’s just one of those things you accept and don’t question, right? Like, does Buddha have a last name? Or is that his last name and he has a secret first name? Or is it not so secret and I’m/we’re so ignorant that I/we don’t know? It could be, like, a conspiracy. I think I’m paranoid. Or that’s just what they want me/us to think. Or is it? I said or a lot. Like iron ore. Gold ore. Silver ore. Mercury… I don’t think there IS mercury ore. It’s liquid. But it could be solid under pressure… Eh, I’m off-topic now. FREEDOM IS MINE!

That is the exact type of discussion I want to happen when I die, being that I’m a writer and when published I will confuse people with my name.

Anyway, off-topic. But amusing non-the-less. Had to say it when you emulated exactly the type of thing I want to happen with another situation.

Great comic, here. Been readin’ it for weeks. Many many… weeks.

Antidistinctlyminty
March 29, 2005 at 4:52 am

Pretty obvious what the H stands for… Hudson… from Aliens.. remember?
Come on, you must see it… Hudson, as in stick-a-pulse-rifle-in-multiple-aliens-faces-and-scream-the-f-word-while-being-dragged-to-a-heroic-if-somewhat-futile-death.
Jesus died on a cross, Hudson died cross. Acually, he died pretty frikkin livid.
<nods sagely> I’m surprised no-one else noticed… :wink:

Caananite
March 29, 2005 at 9:22 am

<teacher hat on>

In koine greek (the language of the oldest copies of the New Testament), the word for “the” is “ho” (pronounced as in the first syllable of “horrible”). So “Jesus the Christ” would be “Iesus ho Christos”. Simple.

<teacher hat off>

Personally, I like the Hudson theory though. Everybody knows that Jesus’ last words on the cross were “eli lama sabacthani” which translates directly to “Game over, man! Game over!”

<wink>

Antidistinctlyminty
March 29, 2005 at 10:27 am

Uhh, did someone just call Jesus a ho?

I mean, that’s low, after he invented easter eggs and all. I know the guy has a mullet and a weird beard, but that’s no reason to be calling him a ho. Redneck, possibly, but not ho.

Plus, I hear the two guys he lives with in New York are pretty burly…

Strife Omitsu
March 29, 2005 at 1:50 pm

Caananite wrote:
<teacher hat on>

In koine greek (the language of the oldest copies of the New Testament), the word for “the” is “ho” (pronounced as in the first syllable of “horrible”). So “Jesus the Christ” would be “Iesus ho Christos”. Simple.

<teacher hat off>

Personally, I like the Hudson theory though. Everybody knows that Jesus’ last words on the cross were “eli lama sabacthani” which translates directly to “Game over, man! Game over!”

<wink>

I could have sworn the oldest Copies of the New Testament were written in HEBREW…. lol

Xeno.Morph
March 29, 2005 at 3:52 pm

Jewish people can read Hebrew. Jesus was a jewish christian kinda guy. Like Jesus sounds like Jewish and Christ is… Yeah, christian. Kinda tenuous and probably not the reason WHY it’s called jewish, but you get my point. Jewish people can read Hebrew.

Damnit, you guys make me look dumb just because I rant a bit. Sure, I have consistently good grammar and spelling, and a large vocabulary, but you guys are ooollllldd…. That means you know more. Most of the time.

AND WHAT KIND OF PERSON WOULD THINK THAT’S A BRAIN FOLLOWING JESUS!?

It doesn’t even LOOK like a brain! Brains are gray! Brains also have a spinal cord attached to them! Heh. Brain looks like Brian. Brian is the male form of my name… I SAID TOO MUCH! THE GIANT SPOON-RAT MUTANTS WILL FIND ME NOW! No matter! I shall host them! And have an alien army of aliens that look like spoon-rat mutants!

Whoah. I’m WAY off-topic THIS time. Hey, that guy that quoted me, I’d just like to tell you I’m working on a short story. Don’t worry, it’s not nearly as random as my ranting… But you guys probably don’t care. So I’ll talk about something you guys DO care about.

Ummm….

Jesus is cool.

I ran out of rant juice. I must get some more. *scurry*

Guest
March 30, 2005 at 6:26 am

Saying that the new testament would have been written in hebrew is just plain wrong, for to many reasons to go into. The new testament is decidedly unjewish, being as jesus is cast as devine (a fact that neither he nor his family and followers proscribed to, being jewish)
The followers of jesus would have spoken, and written in, aramaic which is similar to arabic and hebrew. But the new testament was not put together by these people and was indeed first assembled in a form greek used as the lingua franca throughout the empire of alexander the great.
As for jesus h christ, I remember hearing an explanation of it a month or two back… gah@my poor memory. It was in a discussion to do with “The davinci code” (a novel out back then)

do prefer the whole hudson explanation though. And its far more reasonable than most christian explanations for things :twisted:

and throwing baked goods at people should be encouraged, for multiple reasons, Go Abe!

Azadi
March 30, 2005 at 9:04 am

Ok, there’s so much wrong with this I hardly know where to begin…

“Ben-Yosef” means “son of Yosef.” It’s not a last name, this is the way Hebrew names are structured. Yeshua ben-Yosef, “Yeshua, son-of-Yosef” would therefore be the full Hebrew name of Jesus of Nazareth.

Challah is bread eaten by Jews primarily on the eve of the Sabbath but also at other times. It represents the “show bread” that was placed on the altar in the days of The Temple. It traditionally (and by traditionally I mean in the Eastern-European Jewish estimation of tradition) a braided loaf made with a lot of egg and is somewhat sweet… though these are not requirements, and there are many versions of Challah to be found in Jewish communities around the world. Challah itself is uniquely Jewish, though other sweet eggy bread can be found in many cultures. It does not make them Challah.

Challah The first sound of the word Challah is a throaty aspirated “kh” sort of sound. Like hocking up a phlegm wad. Think Klingon. A lot of people can’t pronounce this sound and it comes out sounding like an “h” so Challah becomes “Hallah” which sounds like “Holla.”

“Our Father Who Art In Heaven, Harold Be Thy Name.”

Xeno.Morph
March 30, 2005 at 8:10 pm

Anonymous wrote:
Saying that the new testament would have been written in hebrew is just plain wrong, for to many reasons to go into. The new testament is decidedly unjewish, being as jesus is cast as devine (a fact that neither he nor his family and followers proscribed to, being jewish)
The followers of jesus would have spoken, and written in, aramaic which is similar to arabic and hebrew. But the new testament was not put together by these people and was indeed first assembled in a form greek used as the lingua franca throughout the empire of alexander the great.
As for jesus h christ, I remember hearing an explanation of it a month or two back… gah@my poor memory. It was in a discussion to do with “The davinci code” (a novel out back then)

do prefer the whole hudson explanation though. And its far more reasonable than most christian explanations for things :twisted:

and throwing baked goods at people should be encouraged, for multiple reasons, Go Abe!

We were talking about the old one written in Hebrew. DER. Where do you get off ranting about the new testament!? I’m the rant master! Bow down before my rantations!

Umm.

I’m a grammar pirate. Yar.

Xeno.Morph
March 30, 2005 at 8:33 pm

Ah crap. I just figured something out. Every other comic website is having downtime. Their servers a splode. It’s like someone’s systematically trying to dullen the internet. If that’s the case, they could do something CONSTRUCTIVE and wipe out pr0n! Well, that’s not the reason why I posted. I posted because… BERNIE! YOU’RE NEXT! BLAHAHAHA! *Cough* I mean to say, I worry that whoever’s doing it may come after aLp next. :shock: That can’t happen. Never. Abe’s too shecshie for that. I wonder if there’s firewalls for a website. Bernie should get one. Before his server a splode.

If this website ever goes down, I’ll go insane. And take you all with me. :roll: JUST BECAUSE I LOOK INNOCENT DOESN’T MEAN I’M NOT! OR DOES IT!? Hehehe. Umm.

Guest
March 31, 2005 at 3:08 am

Wipe out pr0n???

:cry: :cry: :cry:

quakenetrmx
March 31, 2005 at 4:36 am

Just wanna say that I like ALL of your comics

cya

Guest
March 31, 2005 at 12:46 pm

I think the Jesus-as-a-character thing is tired, recycled, and really not all that funny anyways. South Park and a hundred other people have done it before, and I don’t like how it fits in with Abe and Preston’s adventures.

Of course, I am more of a fan of the A/P nerd comedy (“did I cloak? I think I cloaked on that one”) as opposed to the New York comedy, too – so what do I know?

Brax
March 31, 2005 at 6:58 pm

I’d like to see Vin Deasel (or one of his characters, such as Riddick) in the comic. I’d get a kick out of that.

Also… the guy in the old Planet of the Apes movie that crashed on the planet. You know, the star. Or one of the starring apes.

I think you could get a lot of comedy out of those.

Xeno.Morph
March 31, 2005 at 10:02 pm

I know who would be a good character! Pennywise!

Ya know. The freaky clown monster from Stephen King’s IT.

He’s cool. He makes people go insane and laughs at ‘em.

General Grievous
April 1, 2005 at 12:50 am

Mebbe Abe threw d bread at Jesus 2 make it d Bread of Life…..

Xeno.Morph
April 1, 2005 at 6:33 am

I read your signature and I’d like to say, no thanks.

frodoappledick
April 3, 2005 at 2:33 pm

i hate organised religion so this means nothin to me!!!

General Grievous
April 10, 2005 at 1:39 am

Nice one 4 a guy/gal with an apple shaped dick.

Zayne Carsick
October 28, 2011 at 9:11 pm

I’m stumped on this one. Why is Jesus being chased by flying intestines?

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