Comments

Antidistinctlyminty
April 13, 2005 at 9:28 am

Can we get Abe to impregnate the cow, so we get a cow alien?
Would it have udders?

Man, if only Xeno.morph were here to explain the exact mechanics of Alien reproduction…. >pulls pin, sneaks off<

By the ways, great comic ( as always ) Bernie.
Does the Shake Shack do takeaway vegetable cows, cos I don’ta eata the meata…

Hmmm…. a large turnip shaped like a cow… so many uses, so little time…

Dahaka
April 13, 2005 at 10:08 am

Yesssss, I’m reminded of the time someone came up with the idea to inject a cow with cheese and drop it in a deepfryer. :twisted:

san_dasan
April 13, 2005 at 10:24 am

shake shack reminds me of cafeteria food in high school. long wait too

Guest
April 13, 2005 at 10:52 am

Heh. Good stuff.

Socran
April 13, 2005 at 11:31 am

Uh… The Queen lays eggs asexually. The way we get hybrid Aliens is
A: Cloning and Genetic Engineering
B: Facehug a different species. The typical Xeno is born from humans these days, but you can be sure the Pilots’ Xenos were HUGE. Also, the dog Xenos were Runners, so a cow one wouldn’t be all that cow-like. I’m surprised Predaliens are so Predator-like.

Also, I love big greasy cafeteria-style food… But I hate big cities. Tell them to expand into New Jersey! Must… Have… Grease ponchos…

FreakyLynx
April 13, 2005 at 12:56 pm

That’s pretty nifty, that place is right by where I work. I take a walk around that park during lunch whenever the weather’s nice ^.^

tenchi89
April 13, 2005 at 1:53 pm

Oh man. Beef stuffed with cheese. Now thats just funny as hell. How about if we serve it with an Au Ju sauce and offer a complimentary leather pouch to go with it. And if you want to go insane instead of using the usual vegetable oil with some boiling beef broth and then you’re on the best path to pure beef goodness. Now with that said can you hook me up with a Fed Exed Double with fries.

desert_drum
April 13, 2005 at 3:13 pm

tenchi89 wrote:
Oh man. Beef stuffed with cheese. Now thats just funny as hell. How about if we serve it with an Au Ju sauce and offer a complimentary leather pouch to go with it. And if you want to go insane instead of using the usual vegetable oil with some boiling beef broth and then you’re on the best path to pure beef goodness. Now with that said can you hook me up with a Fed Exed Double with fries.

That cracking sound you just heard was my arteries spontaneously hardening. :lol:

Xeno.Morph
April 13, 2005 at 3:13 pm

Antidistinctlyminty wrote:
Man, if only Xeno.morph were here to explain the exact mechanics of Alien reproduction…. >pulls pin, sneaks off<

Geez, everyone’s a comedian. : P You’re just jealous.

Come on, guys! Let’s all inject transfat into our veins! It’s tastilyiscious! I’ll call the paramedics.

Nah, I’m not a veggie-taran. (New word. Yay.) I just think venison is a LOT tastier than beef, and a lot healthier too, if you hunted it yourself. I think I just pissed off some PETA members. I like burgers. And meat. And fur. Where do you think the skins go when they skin an animal for food?

I’m a member of PETA. People Eating Tasty Animals.

There’s room for all God’s creations, right next to the mashed potatoes.

TheProperBostonian
April 13, 2005 at 4:36 pm

Lol, I saw that episode, too, Dahaka.

… Poor trees. XD

They already have hotdogs stuffed with cheese and chicken nuggets stuffed with cheese, so logically, the next should be teh beef.

Hmmm, where IS the beef?

XenoMorph
April 13, 2005 at 4:55 pm

OMG there is so much wrong with this comic, for starters the alien is just like uber cool and would kill the predator in like a nanosecond or even quicker cause they can do that you know. I find the idea of an alien and predator being friends offensive to the alien legend. I also feel it is stupid the alien can talk, they have shown no sign of being able to master this. The predator i dont care about because aliens are just so sexy that i forget about them

Xeno.Morph
April 13, 2005 at 5:11 pm

XenoMorph wrote:
OMG there is so much wrong with this comic, for starters the alien is just like uber cool and would kill the predator in like a nanosecond or even quicker cause they can do that you know. I find the idea of an alien and predator being friends offensive to the alien legend. I also feel it is stupid the alien can talk, they have shown no sign of being able to master this. The predator i dont care about because aliens are just so sexy that i forget about them

Unclean! Unclean! Get this newb off my monitor!

impos73ring n00bst3r
April 13, 2005 at 5:14 pm

o im so sry xeno forgive me plz. i m but a lowlee nub dn’t hurt m3.

Ultimo PWNage
April 13, 2005 at 5:28 pm

Dahaka wrote:
Yesssss, I’m reminded of the time someone came up with the idea to inject a cow with cheese and drop it in a deepfryer. :twisted:

That wasn’t someone, that was Master Shake from Aqua teen hunger force.

Guest
April 13, 2005 at 5:34 pm

Ultimo PWNage wrote:

Dahaka wrote:
Yesssss, I’m reminded of the time someone came up with the idea to inject a cow with cheese and drop it in a deepfryer. :twisted:

That wasn’t someone, that was Master Shake from Aqua teen hunger force.

No… Really? Because I thought he was talking about Prince Charles. I thought Prince damn Charles injected a cow with cheese.

Weasel
April 13, 2005 at 5:35 pm

Anonymous wrote:
No… Really? Because I thought he was talking about Prince Charles. I thought Prince damn Charles injected a cow with cheese.

I think this guy should register, I like his style.

Steve Awesome
April 13, 2005 at 5:49 pm

anyone else notice that this was the 99th comic? I wonder if Bernie’s going to do something awesome for 100th. Nudge nudge, wink wink, hint hint, cough cough

Antidistinctlyminty
April 13, 2005 at 5:51 pm

Socran wrote:
The typical Xeno is born from humans these days, but you can be sure the Pilots’ Xenos were HUGE. Also, the dog Xenos were Runners, so a cow one wouldn’t be all that cow-like

oh. ummm. Thanks for the info. I was just hoping for a little more.. you know… ranting.

A board’s not a board without a rant/counter-rant/rant/witch-hunt combo…

Antidistinctlyminty
April 13, 2005 at 6:03 pm

Amusing Guesty wrote:
No… Really? Because I thought he was talking about Prince Charles. I thought Prince damn Charles injected a cow with cheese.

Wow… how foolish do I feel… Charles is our future king and I didn’t even know his full title was Prince Damn.

Incidently, you’re probably thinking of the horse he’s been injecting with a cheese-like substance for some years… I think she’s called Camilla…

Richiboom
April 13, 2005 at 6:35 pm

ACTUALLY, we already have seen a ‘cow’ alien. The ‘dog’ alien as can be seen in the director’s cut of Alien3 originally came from a ‘Cow’ (well some cow-like-thing that was more like an Ox). This is the reason that the young runner alien is so large compared to the standard chestburster.

To very quickly bring home my point as to why this cow alien is more valid than thew ‘dog’ alien.

If we are to assume that the alien gestates in relation to the host (hence the DNA crossover effect) then it will in theory grow untill it gets too large for the host organism. This size should be in proportion for each species, so a larger creature will ‘give birth’ to a larger ‘chest-burster’. ie a whale alien will be very large upon birthing and should grow even larger, however a snake alien will be VERY small and have a much smaller potential.

Because the dog-alien is MUCH larger than the human-alien upon bursting we must therefore expect the host to have a much larger capacity then that of a human. Now i am pretty sure we can all agree that a cow has a larger capacity than a human, while a doberman has a much smaller capacity than a human. – point made.

(plus on a side note, the alien takes into account certain aspects of the host, namly it’s skeletral structure [and then adds some of it's own features, namly the secondary jaw, long, prehensile tale, long eye-less head and 5 'breathing tubes']. As a result of this the alien that comes from the host would have a similar shape. Therfore a pred-alien (which really is no different from a normal alien, just the equivalent of white-man vs black-man) would have the same physique as a human-alien (except slightly larger) and have predator like mandibles instead of a lower jaw. (i am unsure about the dreadlocks really, as they consist of flesh rather than hair). however the most important factor here is artistic liscence (as my lovely fiance just pointed out to me) so in the end, i suppose as long as they can come up with an explanation.

(by the by please note my previous statement about the ‘breed’ of the alien being like that of different skin toned people, i meant that we should really call every type of alien by it’s host. so we would have human-aliens or human-alien-hybrids. if we are to refer to an alien from a Predator host as a Pred-alien [or maybe go as far as a Yautja-alien])

That a good rant for you guys?

Socran
April 13, 2005 at 9:05 pm

Eh. Not much of a “rant” really. Rants generally complain about something. As far as the naming, the non-human-”born” Xenos were seen after the original one which was dubbed the Alien. Kinda like how the Europeans came over and called everyone “Indians” and “******s” and never bothered to dub themselves since, to them, they were the originals. The reason there are so many Runners seems to be because people have lots of dogs in the future. As for why the Predalien is so much more like the Predator, the Predator’s anatomy is less interesting and thus less examined. As such, we know very little about them, aside from their culture (which people seem to look into as much as Xenomorphology. Well, not really because everyone loves Xenos more, even the ones that prefer them dying at the end). Basically, any number of un(bothered-to-be)answered questions about the Pred could explain this. For example, why does their blood glow in the dark? How is that an evolutionary advantage? They’re like friggin’ fireflies only you need to stab them before anything happens.

Drone Daddy
April 13, 2005 at 9:36 pm

Anywho, great strip today. Yes, I’m formally registered now so I have taken up a permanent position from which to snipe from a distance the phucktards who don’t recognize the brilliance of Bernie when they see it, as is evidenced by today’s strip.

By the way, I once stuffed a cat with cheese. He didn’t poo right for weeks. That’s when I first started therapy. (To those of you who’ve been reading the “…I blame you, Mr. Hou” thread in the B.S. forum, let this be the prequel to my comments about my more recent cognitive behavioral therapies). Speaking of, has anyone here ever eaten a cat? If you do decide to put one next to your mashed potatoes, I highly suggest killing it first. The noise they make at the dinner table if you don’t is deafening. However, if you like it rare, I suggest some form-fitting dampening foam plugs for your little ears (at least a 10 decibel attenuation should be good).

Well, enjoy! I’m off to the pound…all this talk of burgers has made me hungry. Tell PETA next month’s membership check is in the mail.

Cheers,

Drone Daddy

Holly Resurrected
April 13, 2005 at 10:19 pm

Howcome I never noticed that Pres carries his helmet around with him?

imrumpf
April 13, 2005 at 11:18 pm

Quote:
Howcome I never noticed that Pres carries his helmet around with him?

Probably because you don’t see his back that much in the comics.

Holly Resurrected
April 13, 2005 at 11:44 pm

This brings me to another question, when is Bernie going to make use of Pres’s removable arm?

XenoMorph
April 14, 2005 at 6:45 am

Err, removeable arm… ?

Yup, I’m still saving my hundredth post of the hundredth comic. Any time now. Hmm. That guy from before that tried to mimic me was a complete dumbass. If you’re going to impersonate me, at least use perfect grammar. A little attention to detail, please?

Hmm…..

Nothing to rant about….

Too early in the morning……

I should draw and email Bernie a 100th comic picture….

It will have… An alien in it… And maybe a predator too… And flowers… Lots and lots of flowers… Made of ripe socks……..

Pennywise the Clown
April 14, 2005 at 6:58 am

[size=18:92031dad16][color=red:92031dad16]He slammed his fist against the post
And still insists he sees the ghosts.[/color:92031dad16][/size:92031dad16]

XenoMorph
April 14, 2005 at 7:01 am

I should draw Pennywise in his real form holding Abe and Preston and Abe’s holding a balloon! Whee! They all float down here!

spam
April 14, 2005 at 7:14 am

\___|___/********SPAM********\___|___/

*GSUS KRAIST PORN STAR*
April 14, 2005 at 2:10 pm

u should try the ones from the streets of mexico :twisted:

Holly Resurrected
April 14, 2005 at 2:52 pm

XenoMorph wrote:
Err, removeable arm… ?

Yeah, check it out. Preston, what have they done to you??

Alderic
April 14, 2005 at 3:46 pm

Funny comic, it’s funny because less people talk about the comic and more about the lore or predetors and aliens or petty arguments over the lore. Really this comic kicks ass, and are you planning on showing Pres at the optomotrist office? That would make for a funny comic. :D

XenoMorph
April 14, 2005 at 4:46 pm

XenoMorph wrote:
Err, removeable arm… ?

Yup, I’m still saving my hundredth post of the hundredth comic. Any time now. Hmm. That guy from before that tried to mimic me was a complete dumbass. If you’re going to impersonate me, at least use perfect grammar. A little attention to detail, please?

Hmm…..

Nothing to rant about….

Too early in the morning……

I should draw and email Bernie a 100th comic picture….

It will have… An alien in it… And maybe a predator too… And flowers… Lots and lots of flowers… Made of ripe socks……..

Urg nice going fakey. Your grammar was just horrible there, seriously I weep. The whole, ”It will have… An alien in it” and so forth, made no sense. Was that a full stop followed by two dots? It was followed by a capital so who knows.
Paragraphs were also misused to the highest order. They should be used when the subject is changed, the ”Hmm.” should have been the start of a new paragraph. And the Too early in the morning? I believe you mean It is too early in the morning. But then the ”Nothing to rant about…” should have been before it not a new paragraph.
If your going to impersonate me, at least use perfect grammar.

(On a sidenote ”That guy” was wrong too. It assumed gender, it should have been ”That person from before”)

Holly Resurrected
April 14, 2005 at 5:02 pm

Hmm. You might wanna consider just posting while logged in. I know you’re going for the momentous 100th, but people can’t impersonate you when you’re logged in.

Alderic
April 14, 2005 at 9:22 pm

[color=darkred:9cdce88773][/color:9cdce88773]Well personally I’m new to the forums so I don’t know much about the people who populate it. Thusly I don’t know who to ignore and who to honestly take seriously. As for the comic itself, wonderful.

XenoMorph
April 15, 2005 at 7:57 am

XenoMorph wrote:

XenoMorph wrote:
Err, removeable arm… ?

Yup, I’m still saving my hundredth post of the hundredth comic. Any time now. Hmm. That guy from before that tried to mimic me was a complete dumbass. If you’re going to impersonate me, at least use perfect grammar. A little attention to detail, please?

Hmm…..

Nothing to rant about….

Too early in the morning……

I should draw and email Bernie a 100th comic picture….

It will have… An alien in it… And maybe a predator too… And flowers… Lots and lots of flowers… Made of ripe socks……..

Urg nice going fakey. Your grammar was just horrible there, seriously I weep. The whole, ”It will have… An alien in it” and so forth, made no sense. Was that a full stop followed by two dots? It was followed by a capital so who knows.
Paragraphs were also misused to the highest order. They should be used when the subject is changed, the ”Hmm.” should have been the start of a new paragraph. And the Too early in the morning? I believe you mean It is too early in the morning. But then the ”Nothing to rant about…” should have been before it not a new paragraph.
If your going to impersonate me, at least use perfect grammar.

(On a sidenote ”That guy” was wrong too. It assumed gender, it should have been ”That person from before”)

Okay, seriously. Who goes to these lengths to “show someone up” if they are not losers? Hmm, well, I don’t really care because it just makes me laugh. Har har. Bernie, your forum is full of dumbasses. My suggestion is to weed them out while I am trying to read your comics and give my own tribute to your comic by having my hundredth post on the hundredth comic.

The following is what that dumbass sent me.

“hey 1 am a //00b /w 1337 ski11z yo 1m g0n//a copee u now lol lol!!1
u r t3h loozar”

Holly Resurrected
April 16, 2005 at 3:27 am

Well, till Xeno.Morph starts logging in, I’ll assume they’re both fake.

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