Comments

Xeno.Morph
May 4, 2005 at 9:34 am

FIRST POST DANCE

Xeno.Morph
May 4, 2005 at 9:35 am

Hahaha… I knew Abe used the computer. Who could be such a freak, single, and not be a gamer? Oh, and who’s Abe Vigoda?

Bad Karma
May 4, 2005 at 10:16 am

Thanks alot Bernie for making me laugh out loud at work! That had to be one of the funniest comics I’ve seen in awhile. :D

cybermax
May 4, 2005 at 10:24 am

I think that guy in the small pic is abe vigoda.

And Dean sounds like a cool guy to know.

sardine
May 4, 2005 at 10:58 am

Abe Vigoda was crusty old Detective Fish on Barney Miller; I think that guy was just born old cause he’s always looked that way.

angelus_raptor
May 4, 2005 at 11:25 am

what do you think jesus saw on the computer screen on the last panel of the script? sorry yeah, i’m a bit dumb. haha

Xeno.Morph
May 4, 2005 at 11:28 am

I don’t get it. Who the hell is Abe Vigoda? If it were Jean Chretien, it would be funny to me.

Hmm. I wonder if Pres ever looked up Arnold Schwarzenegger?

Abe should be a gamer nerd. He’s a freak, he’s lonely, he doesn’t know how to act around people, and his little brother tried to eat Preston. That pretty much sums up a gamer. Now all he needs is to be shown being nerdy with games such as Starcraft; “Sara Kerrigan is SO hot!!” “The proper way to build with protoss is to make a row of pylons and then build many gateways…” “That zergling is SO hot!!” “1 a// t3h 1337!!1one boww duwn b4 m3 n basc 1n //y almitey grateness!!!1one hahahaha all your base are belong to meh! GO ARMY OF SCVS!!”

He saw a naked Abe Vigoda, what do you think?

Xeno.Morph
May 4, 2005 at 11:41 am

I go now. Bell rang. Geography. WOO!

Preston is a prokaryote!

Frank_in_Brooklyn
May 4, 2005 at 11:41 am

Sal Tessio (the traitor) in the Godfather

As they lead him away and take his gun he looks at Michael and says, “you gotta understand Michael….”

Classic

Pterodactyl
May 4, 2005 at 11:41 am

Friggin’ hilarious Bernie!!!!!!
Had us dinosaurs here at work rollin’!!!!!!

< : >

wildhare21
May 4, 2005 at 11:56 am

The last time something gave me such a case of belly laughs, I was watching Montey Python and the Holy Grail. That “Take Cover,” sounded a lot like, “Run Away!” Good strip!

spinn
May 4, 2005 at 12:20 pm

Heh. I run abevigoda.com (no, it’s not Abe’s…fortunately the old magnificent bastard hasn’t sent his attack goons after me yet). That damn Firefox extension has caused me more trouble than you know.

Neat to see a comic based on it, though.

[size=9:2ca519d724]aw hell, I’m stuck with this lame “gender” tag now, aren’t I? Why don’t I ever read the fine print in forum registration?[/size:2ca519d724]

Drone Daddy
May 4, 2005 at 1:28 pm

Best comic in a long time!!

Cheers,

lu
May 4, 2005 at 2:15 pm

Thought I’d share Abe’s current status…

imrumpf
May 4, 2005 at 2:22 pm

Haha awesome! My music teacher saw it over my back and instead of getting mad he laughed his head off! He told me to send the link to him so he could read some of the other comics! :) Another convert! :P

Great strip but I wanna se what happens with Pres! I was DYING to read the comic today to se what happened!

O and Xeno..The best way to own somebody at starcraft is to take over a drone/scv/etc with a Dark Archon..IMHO. But I guess if you want to see a truely obsessed StarCraft gamer…your going to have to go to Korea…thse guys are NUTS about this game!

Private Whore
May 4, 2005 at 2:51 pm

imrumpf wrote:
O and Xeno..The best way to own somebody at starcraft is to take over a drone/scv/etc with a Dark Archon..IMHO. But I guess if you want to see a truely obsessed StarCraft gamer…your going to have to go to Korea…thse guys are NUTS about this game!

I know how to own someone with Killzone… can I be a nerd too?

Dean
May 4, 2005 at 4:11 pm

Quote:
That damn Firefox extension has caused me more trouble than you know.

Can I ask how?

Rethorn
May 4, 2005 at 6:13 pm

Dean wrote:

Quote:
That damn Firefox extension has caused me more trouble than you know.

Can I ask how?

The deaded Farkbomb.

desert_drum
May 4, 2005 at 7:12 pm

Frank_in_SoHo wrote:
Sal Tessio (the traitor) in the Godfather

As they lead him away and take his gun he looks at Michael and says, “you gotta understand Michael….”

Classic

Thank you. No, sincerely. “Who is Abe Vigoda?” was making me feel really OLD. If no one had come up with anything but Barney Miller, I could have added horrified to OLD.

PimpMyCouch
May 4, 2005 at 9:09 pm

Abe Vigoda also played John Travolta’s dad in Look Who’s Talking.

Oh-kay, now that I’ve officially outed myself as a loser…
:oops:

Billman
May 4, 2005 at 10:17 pm

Nude Abe Vigoda?? :o

Oh Sweet Fancy Moses! Excuse me while I poke out my mind’s eye.
*shudder*

RiveRave
May 4, 2005 at 10:29 pm

Abe is actually my great great uncle, he’s been doing some other stuff too, he was in a movie with Harvey Keital and Gerad Depardieu last year, unfortunitly not a hit in the US but big in britain, go figure. probably his most well known role definetly being Fish, at least around NYC where he lives.

Stu
May 4, 2005 at 10:52 pm

urbanshawoman wrote:
Thank you. No, sincerely. “Who is Abe Vigoda?” was making me feel really OLD. If no one had come up with anything but Barney Miller, I could have added horrified to OLD.

I guess Fish wouldn’t have helped.

Somehow, he didn’t work for 20 years between his first gig and his second, according to his IMDB web page.

desert_drum
May 4, 2005 at 10:59 pm

Stu wrote:

I guess Fish wouldn’t have helped.

Actually, I liked Barney Miller. It just saddened me that no one seemed to remember him in Godfather. In a quirk of my actual age, I saw him in Barney Miller before I saw him in Godfather. It was surreal the first time I did: “Fish is a gangster?” It was on subsequent viewings that I realized he was damn good in the role.

Treach
May 5, 2005 at 12:03 am

Stu wrote:
Somehow, he didn’t work for 20 years between his first gig and his second, according to his IMDB web page.

Heheh, his bio on that page mentions that even back in the 80s people weren’t sure if he was alive or dead.

danucleus
May 5, 2005 at 12:15 am

HAHAHAHAHAHA That was awesome!!!

desert_drum
May 5, 2005 at 1:41 am

Treach wrote:

Heheh, his bio on that page mentions that even back in the 80s people weren’t sure if he was alive or dead.

You know, I seem to remember at least once his death being reported, obits printed, all that, until he had to kind of wave at everyone and say “Nope. I’m over here.”

Holly Resurrected
May 5, 2005 at 3:05 am

… Wow. In what other comic could you find Jesus and an Alien in a NY apartment looking at nude photos of Abe Vigoda on the internet? Although I would think that Jesus, being all-knowing, would have already seen Abe Vigoda naked.

Awesome new comic, Bernie. You owe me a keyboard.

Xeno.Morph
May 5, 2005 at 7:59 am

But I want a keyboard…

Shopping for noses and lightening my skin tones.
Expanding my collection of elephant man shin bones.
Winnie the Pooh tattooed right on my ding…
These are a few of my favourite things!

A touch of mascara and purple eye shadow.
Dangling small children from tenth story windows.
Sending Jermaine to go fetch me a drink…
These are a few of my favourite things!

When Tito calls, when my nose falls off, when I’m feeling saaaaaaaaad…
I simply remember a few of my favourite things, and then I don’t feeeeeeeellll sooooo baaaaaaaaaaad!

Playing with Bubbles at Neverland Palace.
Hiring young lawyers and suing for malice.
Grabbing my crotch while I stand there and sing…
These are a few of my favourite things!

Giving some money to poor little cripples.
Watching my sister show off her nipples.
Calling and hanging up on Lisa Marie…
These are a few of my favourite things!

When Liz drops by, and pops all my pills, when I’m feeling saaaaaaaaaad…
I simply remember a few of my favourite things, and then I don’t feeeeeeeel sooooooooooo baaaaaaaaaaddd!!!

– A tribute to MJ.

Xeno.Morph
May 5, 2005 at 9:38 am

Does Bernie really need a compliment every day even if he knows we’re steadfast loyal fans of his?

Yes. Yes he does.

Good work.

Xeno.Morph
May 5, 2005 at 11:10 am

Hmm. Y’know, I should go and count the number of people with alien icons, the number of people with predator icons, the number of people with comic icons (I’M LOOKING AT YOU GUY WITH LEO ICON), and the random icons. Like Zombie X-ing.

Xeno.Morph
May 5, 2005 at 11:19 am

I think I may have converted my brother’s friend to this cult of the funny. He liked Boris and Zeev. “GET THE CHAINSAW!” and “I’M SORRY IF I NEEDED KETCHUP!”

Xeno.Morph
May 5, 2005 at 11:23 am

imrumpf wrote:
O and Xeno..The best way to own somebody at starcraft is to take over a drone/scv/etc with a Dark Archon..IMHO. But I guess if you want to see a truely obsessed StarCraft gamer…your going to have to go to Korea…thse guys are NUTS about this game!

No shiza. Toss and zerg are the best combination. Screw the terran. I want my hydralisks! Ultralisks! Mutalisks! And not to forget the hordes of zerglings! Aww, zerglings are so CUTE when they run!!!

Xeno.Morph
May 5, 2005 at 11:28 am

Hmm. I’m posting a lot. Maybe it’s because I can’t get to any proxy bypasser websites so that I can get to GaiaOnline. Gaaaaah. Gah ’tis what I say.

DwarfSidious
May 5, 2005 at 12:24 pm

Proof positive you’re young is not knowing who Abe Vigoda is (No offense intended at all). He’s a great punchline for a lot of jokes because, although he’s been around a long time, he’s never had much of a career, and is best known for his character “Fish,” who was a minor (albeit beloved) character even in that show (“Barney Miller”). He’s got this great deadpan look…

Oh my god, I’m spending precious moments of my life talking about Fish.

imrumpf
May 5, 2005 at 12:46 pm

Xeno.Morph wrote:

imrumpf wrote:
O and Xeno..The best way to own somebody at starcraft is to take over a drone/scv/etc with a Dark Archon..IMHO. But I guess if you want to see a truely obsessed StarCraft gamer…your going to have to go to Korea…thse guys are NUTS about this game!

No shiza. Toss and zerg are the best combination. Screw the terran. I want my hydralisks! Ultralisks! Mutalisks! And not to forget the hordes of zerglings! Aww, zerglings are so CUTE when they run!!!

Lurkers all the way! :D But I like terran because of their nuke strikes, very helpful when you’re about to storm a base. And since their buildings can move, if theres ever a zergling attack, just lift the buildings and move them around untouched! a Hoard of battlecruisers does amazing dammage! O man I want to uninstall HL2 and play StarCraft again! It’s been ages!

P.S. The only thing i hate about protoss is the need for power, and that they build so slow!

Xeno.Morph
May 5, 2005 at 4:45 pm

What use is flying buildings when all your units were stormed by the lings and now they’re directly underneath your Command Center? And MUTALISKS all the way, thank you very much.

Alderic
May 5, 2005 at 5:20 pm

I think thats the first time we’ve seen abes mouth open.

Lylmik
May 5, 2005 at 6:21 pm

Sorry guys, don’t know how to do the “Whoever said:Copy text”, but someone mentioned that koreans love the game.
As i recall, (But can’t recall if they were talking about korean guy) a while ago they found a guy dead in his apartment.

The corker was, he apparently died on-line, after not eating/sleeping/pissing/crapping for some insane amount of time, we are talking some huge amount of days ( :shock: :shock: ) here!
When the blues showed up, they went thru his pc and addresses and login times and all that, that’s when they realised he did not leave it for a minute.
Talking about dedication. :twisted: :twisted: ……………………….

imrumpf
May 5, 2005 at 6:42 pm

Move a building to an island helps to expand quckly (build here send it there…no need for transport ships meaning you can expand quickly and early)

One of my favourite thinngs was setting up those Nydus canals (from the zergs) onto an enemies creep and sending troops over in the mass…its actually worked for me before! And while I like Mutalisks, I found them very slow and tended to get trapped when trying to move through tight spaces, which is why I went for an Lurker/Mutalisk army station outside an army base. The thing I love about this game is that it’s possible to use dozens of different strategies and all of them work quite well. The whole “this is better! that is better” argument is very hard to settle as what works for one may not work for the other.

As far as the Korean guy dying because of too much SC playing….that’s just uber crazy! I can’t even think of how you could let yourself get to that stage! I mean when i gotta go pee i RUN as fast as I can and get back before I miss the action. Same with eating…run, grab chips, run back, play a bit, eat. It almost seems humanly impossible to willingly starve yourself like that.

On another note I was a video of a tounament, played in a stadium with huge TV screens showing what was on the computer screen. People SCREAMING and chanting like it was a soccer game! and guess how long the round lasted? not even 5 minutes! a couple ‘lings and Marines duked it out…’lings won….SCV killed them….then ALL of the SCV’s went to the zerg base and destroyed it! Insane! and you shoulda seen the crowd! they went NUTS!

Anyways that’s my 2 cents for the day.

Lylmik
May 5, 2005 at 7:32 pm

Same with me, the Nydus! Absolutely love them! Try to pick Protoss as much as i can, build Dark Archons, do mind control on a drone and use Zerg as a cannon fodder, while they are slugging it out with guys on the ground, build like 12-15 Carriers, move the Arbiter over the area, and warp/teleport the whole bunch of Carriers in before they destroy it, slaughter!

But i would understand the korean guy, sometimes it just breaks your heart when nature calls, but to ignore it for that long….. FUUUCK!
I don’t even know if it was a case of starvation, i think it was more thirst, and all of the crap piling upon crap and maybe seeping thru…. Don’t want to think about it even!

The guy was using SCV’s for a killer force? :shock: WTF? Goddamn! That’s the first i’ve heard of that sort… Cool!

Fruity…………………..

Xeno.Morph
May 5, 2005 at 10:04 pm

imrumpf wrote:
Move a building to an island helps to expand quckly (build here send it there…no need for transport ships meaning you can expand quickly and early)

One of my favourite thinngs was setting up those Nydus canals (from the zergs) onto an enemies creep and sending troops over in the mass…its actually worked for me before! And while I like Mutalisks, I found them very slow and tended to get trapped when trying to move through tight spaces, which is why I went for an Lurker/Mutalisk army station outside an army base. The thing I love about this game is that it’s possible to use dozens of different strategies and all of them work quite well. The whole “this is better! that is better” argument is very hard to settle as what works for one may not work for the other.

As far as the Korean guy dying because of too much SC playing….that’s just uber crazy! I can’t even think of how you could let yourself get to that stage! I mean when i gotta go pee i RUN as fast as I can and get back before I miss the action. Same with eating…run, grab chips, run back, play a bit, eat. It almost seems humanly impossible to willingly starve yourself like that.

On another note I was a video of a tounament, played in a stadium with huge TV screens showing what was on the computer screen. People SCREAMING and chanting like it was a soccer game! and guess how long the round lasted? not even 5 minutes! a couple ‘lings and Marines duked it out…’lings won….SCV killed them….then ALL of the SCV’s went to the zerg base and destroyed it! Insane! and you shoulda seen the crowd! they went NUTS!

Anyways that’s my 2 cents for the day.

You’re confusing Mutalisks with Hydralisks. Muta = Uber fast wasp. Hydra = Used to be a snake-thing before infestation.

Oh, and once when I was plaing SC, I was Terran and got ling rushed. All my marines were killed. In a last act of desperation, I sent all my SCVs to attack! And attack they did! I think I had five left when the lings were dead. All the while I was screaming and shrieking, “HAHAHA FALL BENEATH THE MIGHTY MIGHTNESS OF MY ALMIGHTY SCVNESS!!”

It’s fun to mass SCVs and rush with them.

imrumpf
May 5, 2005 at 10:42 pm

Haha Xeno I was actually talking about ultralisks that were too big! my mistake!

Xeno.Morph
May 6, 2005 at 7:02 am

Ultralisks are giant cows…

Alderic wrote:
I think thats the first time we’ve seen abes mouth open.

No. Look through the comics, his mouth is open plenty.

Wait…

That did not sound right…

*Dumps HNO3 on top of Aramor.*

Private Whore
May 6, 2005 at 7:43 am

Why did you do that? It’s not time to shower again is it? I did that like 3 months ago already… with human blood… :twisted:

Why are you trying to be so not nice to me? :cry:

angelus_raptor
May 6, 2005 at 8:43 am

i look at StarCraft: Brood War and think ‘they’re the big brothers of Zerglings. though the entire brood is considered a family’

Xeno.Morph
May 6, 2005 at 9:35 am

It’s because you’re a predfan. That’s right, I saw the haiku. Besides, HNO3 doesn’t burn aliens.

Xeno.Morph
May 6, 2005 at 9:37 am

I’m eating cheese. It’s like a cheese twizzler. It comes off in strings. I shall name it the stringtwizzler.

Xeno.Morph
May 6, 2005 at 9:37 am

BERNIE HASN’T UPDATED YET! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! THE HYPERNESS INCARNATE RETURNS!

Private Whore
May 6, 2005 at 10:54 am

Xeno.Morph wrote:
It’s because you’re a predfan. That’s right, I saw the haiku. Besides, HNO3 doesn’t burn aliens.

Yeah well, I didn’t say Aliens suck now did I? Besides, Pred’s make good hunting targets…

And I didn’t say it burned me… I take showers with HNO3…

Dahaka
May 6, 2005 at 3:11 pm

Reavers or Tanks bitches

imrumpf
May 6, 2005 at 3:41 pm

My God its 3:40 PM EST here and STILL no new comic! :( I’m ready to cry here! WAHHHH!!!

Pterodactyl
May 6, 2005 at 4:08 pm

:shock: Jest wait until Bernie’s twins show up!!! :shock:

we’ll be happy for once a week !!!!! :lol:

[size=18:7f5be2313f]< : >[/size:7f5be2313f]

angelus_raptor
May 7, 2005 at 12:51 am

so when are the twins coming? hm…

ChibiSpawn
May 7, 2005 at 2:02 am

Ultralisks rule! I havent played for like a couple of years now, but those guys are my faves…..and the lurkers……and the hydralisks. Damnit! *loads SC into new computer*

Lylmik
May 8, 2005 at 7:10 pm

Gimme around 10 tanks, spread 2 tank lengths apart, build 4 AA towers, stick 3 destroyers above+maybe one of those observer spherical thingies+2 SCV’s for repairs…….
KILL ALL!!! Well, 85% of cases.

TedO
May 8, 2005 at 7:44 pm

I won’t lie. I didn’t read any posts on this thread, but wanted to ask something none the less.

Why does Jesus look SO stoned in the first two panels? Could there be something secret going on in the APJ home?

WindyValkyrie
May 9, 2005 at 2:02 am

Not sure if this has been mentioned elsewhere or not, but on [url]http://www.abevigoda.com (the site connected to the Abe Vigoda alive/dead status extension), there’s a mention of this comic now. You mention Abe Vigoda naked and it’s bound to raise a bit of a fuss.

And I’m only 20 and I knew who Abe Vigoda was. :roll: Excellent comic as always. Back to lurkdom for me.

Alderic
May 9, 2005 at 7:47 am

did bernies wife have the twins or is he on hiatus?

Private Whore
May 9, 2005 at 8:43 am

I’m gonna die if I don’t get my comics soon… I need a comic!!!

*Runs outside and kills the first human he sees*

Hmm, that helped… hey, there’s another one!

*Runs towards group of humans…*

angelus_raptor
May 9, 2005 at 9:00 am

hey, you have all the fun… wait for me!

*pounces from a clif… and is falling… falling… falling…..*

Private Whore
May 9, 2005 at 9:24 am

*Looks up, sees Angelus falling, positions himself right underneath him, waits till the last second and then steps to the right*
Ha, gotya… now come on, let’s kick some ass…
Hey, come on man… you ok? *poke*

angelus_raptor
May 9, 2005 at 9:36 am

*cough cough*

*gets up*

it’s good that the program says that xenomorphs can’t die from falling from great heights. now…

*ninja pose*

feeding time!

*dodges, aims at nearest human with inner-jaw, Bullet-time*

Private Whore
May 9, 2005 at 9:41 am

Way cool dude.

*Throws the human impaled on his tail on the ground and runs up the hill and jumps of the cliff*

Look ma! I can fly!!!

angelus_raptor
May 9, 2005 at 9:59 am

haha… no way aramor… we all know xenomorphs can’t fly!

*look up*

*notices aramor NOT falling*

oh my God! aramor’s flying! a flying xenomorph!!!

Private Whore
May 9, 2005 at 10:38 am

Aww, fuck. That’s actually not flying what I’m doing… I hit a branch or something sticking out of this cliff…

*rolls over, and continues his fall*

Ah, mucho better…

Alderic
May 9, 2005 at 3:44 pm

ALP forum where we too can RP.

Holly Resurrected
May 10, 2005 at 12:15 am

WindyValkyrie wrote:
Not sure if this has been mentioned elsewhere or not, but on [url]http://www.abevigoda.com (the site connected to the Abe Vigoda alive/dead status extension), there’s a mention of this comic now. You mention Abe Vigoda naked and it’s bound to raise a bit of a fuss.

http://www.abevigoda.com wrote:
not fan art but an incredible simulation

Oh goodness, I think they’re MST3K fans. That so rocks.

spinn
May 16, 2005 at 1:26 am

Dean wrote:

Quote:
That damn Firefox extension has caused me more trouble than you know.

Can I ask how?

I know it’s been a while, but I knew I’d be writing this up for my own site eventually, and just finished it. This here is the full explanation, if you’re still interested.

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