Comments

angelus_raptor
May 9, 2005 at 9:03 am

nice personal story, bernie. hehe.

i’m glad we have a comic! *lets go of struggling civilian*

Stu
May 9, 2005 at 9:41 am

As someone who has worn glasses for nearly 26 years (and I’m closing in on being 32), I have to agree that the eye doctor is easier than, say, your annual physical exam. But there are two things that are worrisome from a patient’s point of view (or at least mine)…

1. The drops. Always fun to have to keep your eye open for a drop, which means that you can’t drive for an hour afterwards because all you see is the light.

2. The galucoma test. Sounds simple – a puff into your eye. But I can’t do it, because I cannot stand anything going into my eyes (which is why I never wore contacts). It’s almost a running gag where I sit there, he foucses the machine so I see the red dot, and I tense up stiffer than a diving board.

Dahaka
May 9, 2005 at 11:26 am

The famous puffer test
My eyes tear up just remembering that shit
i can do it easy, but the fucking thing makes your eyes tear up

Xeno.Morph
May 9, 2005 at 11:27 am

I have glasses too. (Imagine that.) I remember the first time I went to the doctor. I wasn’t that worried, I was just wondering why everyone thought I needed glasses or why they thought I couldn’t focus on anything or why I got headaches all the time or why I always looked angry.

So I get my glasses and everything’s cleared up. Literally, too. 1, I DID need glasses. 2, I couldn’t see anything they could before. 3, I got headaches ‘cuz I couldn’t see, and 4, I looked mad all the time ‘cuz I was trying to focus. The first thing I said was, “Mom, you’ve got bags under your eyes!”

The doctors told my mom that I was supposed to be legally blind by now, but, hey! I’m not! Not only that, but I am a distinguished marksman in my sea cadet corps. That’s the highest level you can get.

Oh and Bernie, that Twilight Zone doll ish shecshie.

Xeno.Morph
May 9, 2005 at 11:34 am

I saw the HitchHiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. Better than I thought, being mangled by a producer and all, but it still lacks that Douglas Adams randomness and wit. Also, they changed crap around. The mice aren’t the same people from Magrathea! But then they are! And they tried to take Arthur’s brain which they didn’t do in the books! And I’m spoling it for people who haven’t seen the movie yet!

Heh, Marvin is still the best. In the lineup when Arthur’s trying to release Trillian, the original Marvin costume can be seen in the background. It’s the robot with the triangular eyes. Funneh.

Private Whore
May 9, 2005 at 11:39 am

Xeno.Morph wrote:
I saw the HitchHiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. Better than I thought, being mangled by a producer and all, but it still lacks that Douglas Adams randomness and wit. Also, they changed crap around. The mice aren’t the same people from Magrathea! But then they are! And they tried to take Arthur’s brain which they didn’t do in the books! And I’m spoling it for people who haven’t seen the movie yet!

Heh, Marvin is still the best. In the lineup when Arthur’s trying to release Trillian, the original Marvin costume can be seen in the background. It’s the robot with the triangular eyes. Funneh.

Yeah, please don’t spoil too much ;)

I thought I saw that. I was watching this documentary about it on da BBC and they showed some stuff from the series and from the movie, and I said to my dad when they showed that scene: “Hey, isn’t that the same robot…”

Drone Daddy
May 9, 2005 at 11:49 am

Noice! :lol:

I wear glasses too; thank god for polycarbonate because otherwise I’d have to wear coke-bottles today. And yes, I’m enjoying the Dystopian Satire. I got it mate. :D

Cheers,

veron
May 9, 2005 at 12:04 pm

Hello everyone!

I haven’t posted here before, I just found ALP last week. Or the one before that, not really sure. Anywho, I just love the comic! I went through the whole archive during one work day when I found the site (of which my boss didn’t appreciate too much, but ah well).

This time I actually liked the background story better than the actual strip, but a good one anyway. Keep up the good work – and thanks for all the laughs!

The Great Me
May 9, 2005 at 1:02 pm

I was wondering about the new action figures in today’s comic.
Is that the doctor figure from the Twilight Zone? That episode ‘Eye of the Beholder’, I think?
And did you actually get a mini optometrist’s rig?

ChibiSpawn
May 9, 2005 at 1:56 pm

Wow another great post! I love the “stigmata in the eye” thing. it reminded me of this show I saw once on Discovery, or TLC……or Space, whatever it was about stigmata (yes I watch shows and about paranormal stuff)

Yeah some people cut themselves just to be all like,”I have stigmata! WORSHIP ME!!!!11ONE” that shit is just sad.

Anyway lots of canadians AND people with glasses, I’ve had glasses like forever, and only really geeky glasses were given to me when I was young, I looked like Harry fucking Potter most of my life, and that was way before he was cool, so I was just some geeky kid. Anyway I dont look like that anymore so yay……….Stigmata in your eye! *squirts*

mentallyillhil
May 9, 2005 at 4:30 pm

Stu wrote:

2. The galucoma test. Sounds simple – a puff into your eye. But I can’t do it, because I cannot stand anything going into my eyes (which is why I never wore contacts). It’s almost a running gag where I sit there, he foucses the machine so I see the red dot, and I tense up stiffer than a diving board.

I HATE the glaucoma test! I, too, cannot stand anything going into my eyes. I hate drops, I hate the glaucoma test. And the guy puts it so close to my eyeball that I’m afraid to move while it’s there and tend to pull back cuz I t hink it’s going to go straight into my eyeball.

My first eye doc never made me do it. Then we switched to this guy in house with the where I buy my glasses. You get a free appt if you buy the glasses from the place. He makes me do that stupid test. I cried last time and I got out of it.

But the freebie guy doesn’t have a red dot thing. My old eye doc used to have a red dot thing, but there was never any puff of air. He would have me looking into this viewmaster type thing and then ask me what the really blurry picture was. While I was doing that, he shined some red dot thing and told me not to look at it. I actually liked that part of the visit cuz I wanted to figure out with that picture was so bad

Kingfox
May 9, 2005 at 5:31 pm

That puff in the eye drives me crazy, and I’m fine with contacts. I’ve put contacts in my eye while in a dusty bouncing bus without a problem, but that burst of air just disturbs me. It’s as bad as the pinprick test on your finger while giving blood.

imrumpf
May 9, 2005 at 7:05 pm

Awesome comic! :)

Yeah those eye tests drive me mad…but I think the coolest thing I like to do is hitmyself on the head when the doctor is watching and then shake my eyes…I have some sort of genetic mutation or SOMEHING that allows me to have very fine control over my eye movements…and so I can shake them very fast back and foreward…awesome way to meet new people or just freak them out!

P.S. anybody know the name of what I’m talking about? I’ve searched all over and nothing is on it on the net!

InvaderJess
May 9, 2005 at 9:33 pm

The eye puff test is really bad. I tend to move at just the right second, so they have to readjust it ten times! And don’t get me started on the stupid finger prick tests. I usually bleed from those, a lot. Like a lot, a lot.

Great comic today. Very funny.

witchking_of_angmar
May 10, 2005 at 12:17 am

Am I the only one that saw the Foamy the Squirrel connection? [url]http://www.illwillpress.com/vault.html Stigmata… IN THE EYE!!! (far right column, second row)
ALP rocks, keep cranking them out, Bernie!

EDIT- Yah, I know what yer talking about with the eye twitch thing, imrumpf. I thought anybody can do it… Guess i’m wierder than I thought! :P

YAUJTA
May 10, 2005 at 4:43 am

Glad to see that your going to follow the “eye doctor” storyline and having to choose between 2 storylines is so frustrating.

oh yeah will we see anymore of the waiting room medium girl i liked that idea :oops:

Lylmik
May 10, 2005 at 9:13 pm

As said, what i really wonder about is how come Bernie’s in possesion of all of these dolls, Alien, Pred, Zeev, Boris, bunch of Barbies, optometrists’ tool-o’-the-trade, freaky-ass Twilight zone people…..
Damn, Bernies’ kids will be weird bunch, just imagine that, Addams Family inbred with Twilight Zone material, mixed with AVP lore…..
CAN’T WAIT!!!!

preston is my dad
May 11, 2005 at 12:24 am

The eye doctor made me wear glasses once. Curious, he looked like the same eye doctor preston was seeing(or not seeing). I wore them for one day, broke them, and then I didn’t wear glasses anymore. Good, because i still have 20/20 vision. But only because Im a better cheater than Bernie.

Weasel
May 11, 2005 at 8:46 pm

I love the Twilight Zone action figure. Where did you get that? Tell me so I can buy one.

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