Comments

bernieh
August 22, 2005 at 6:27 am

Comments on today’s comic go here…

Uncle Whippity
August 22, 2005 at 7:02 am

I wish I could be a stripper, too. Sadly, my boyish physique has suffered the ravages of time….

I’ve never yet set foot in a strip club, but I did give out leaflets to increase union membership outside one. Got so’s I could spot a stripper a mile off. Another knack I’ve lost. :(

And again, Abe seems to be getting closer and closer to me. Bernie – how can you in New York know me so well?

crookedjon
August 22, 2005 at 7:34 am

Very nice episode. Lemme guess… Corrina is working at the strip club to pay the bills, cue hilarious hi-jinks as Preston tries to stay out of sight. 8)

Red Hannson
August 22, 2005 at 7:51 am

I know how it is on that… The music in every strip club I’ve been in are horribly loud.. I think it’s so we don’t have to hear most of the sounds. =P

Wonderful comic, by the way.

scarycatmecha
August 22, 2005 at 8:42 am

Marriage has made you tame, dahlink. The last time I was dragged to a strip club by my male friends who tried to convince me it was a vital part of friend bonding, the girls might have been making money, but NOT with what momma gave them. I’ve never seen so many bad boob jobs (with scars) in my life! Not to mention they all had identical noses, and fresh collagen plumped lips. I suspect they got a bulk discount from Crazy Joe’s Plastic Surgery Emporium.

And at least the boys are at a strip club. I still wake up with nightmares from the live animal sex act show my Army buddies took me to.

The donkey…..the donkey…. (shudder)

SCM

TjayBrandon
August 22, 2005 at 10:10 am

I was at a stripclub just a couple nights ago, and I want my money back. I was dragged along because I was the only one of the group that doesn’t drink much if at all and someone had to drive. I agree whole-heartedly with Preston when he says that the females need to be cuter. It really is amazing how some of these women can actually get jobs in this “career field” unless they are willing to do some “extra carricular activities” with the club owners and/or patrons

TeratoMarty
August 22, 2005 at 10:19 am

Bernieh said:
I happen to be a male who would love to be able to make a living by removing my clothes to music and having drinks bought for me by rich, lonely women. Use what I was bestowed with and nothing else! How natural! Alas, there isn’t anywhere near the same kind of market for that as there is for women.

Werrll… there are precious few strip clubs where you can have *women* buy you drinks, but you sure could work in the sort of strip club where men would buy you drinks. A pal of mine, former Chippendale dancer, former go-go boy, tells me that men tip much better than women. Fat, sweaty, disgusting men with hair growing out of their ears. Men on a par with Abe, it’s true. Imagine yourself in that scenario, and you have a glimpse of what it’s like to be a lady dancer at a straight strip club. Plus, you know the only drink that strippers are allowed is ginger ale.

So be nice to the strippers. It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it.

Morlock-bloodletter
August 22, 2005 at 1:10 pm

Make that three fellatios waitress!

unretro
August 22, 2005 at 1:52 pm

Ha Ha Ha laughed my ass off on this one. Pretty good comic, keep it up Bernieh. :lol:

jennif
August 22, 2005 at 2:09 pm

bernieh wrote:
I say count your blessings. I happen to be a male who would love to be able to make a living by removing my clothes to music and having drinks bought for me by rich, lonely women.

Okay, but you have to do it wearing 8-inch heels.

P.S. Do you make house calls? :roll:

~j

Drone Daddy
August 22, 2005 at 2:47 pm

I love it!

Cheers,

Dahaka
August 22, 2005 at 3:21 pm

hehehe

KTinNYC
August 22, 2005 at 3:36 pm

Uncle Whippity wrote:

I’ve never yet set foot in a strip club, but I did give out leaflets to increase union membership outside one.

Yay! I love that. More strip clubs need to be unionized, without a doubt.

TeratoMarty wrote:
Bernieh said:
Plus, you know the only drink that strippers are allowed is ginger ale.

Depends on the club.

The way I see it, many men are able to do jobs that most women aren’t strong enough to do. As women, our corporeal commodity is being sexy. It is objectification, but I have no beef with that.

That said, I’m not cool with my husband going to strip clubs.

Shin-Goji
August 22, 2005 at 4:55 pm

I hate strip clubs. They’re noisy, smoke filled, the drinks are watered down, and I hate being pestered.
Jack shops however, I can spend the $200 I was going to spend in a strip club with a guarentee of no sex, and have some asian girl jack me off into a washcloth after a steamroom, body wash and massage. Now THAT’s smart money.

AAATripper
August 22, 2005 at 5:20 pm

That was a good’n. And i agree, Corinna should make a surprise appearance, only to see Preston getting a lapdance from Amanda Hug n’ kiss (who was once a guy)

TjayBrandon
August 22, 2005 at 7:07 pm

Shin-Goji wrote:
I hate strip clubs. They’re noisy, smoke filled, the drinks are watered down, and I hate being pestered.
Jack shops however, I can spend the $200 I was going to spend in a strip club with a guarentee of no sex, and have some asian girl jack me off into a washcloth after a steamroom, body wash and massage. Now THAT’s smart money.

Ahhh, just the kinda comment I would expect from the all-mighty Shin-Goji. Welcome to ALP, man :lol:

Lynn
August 22, 2005 at 7:40 pm

bernieh wrote:
Until we achieve such equality, it’ll just have to remain something I do at home, for next to no money.

Ahhhh, poor baby!

volatile_vixen
August 23, 2005 at 12:02 am

Actually, I think there’s a huge market for male strippers…

You just have to be okay with catering to the desires of other men.

YAUJTA
August 23, 2005 at 5:48 am

Good strip (go the pun) mate :lol:

Keep up the great work

Nicoel
August 23, 2005 at 7:35 am

Here in Australia there’s quite a lot of “Men Down Under” shows.
Admittedly there’s more man on man shows but there’s enough male for female strip joints to keep my mother in-law and her friends happy :P

Maybe you should move down here Bernieh! Although, I do wonder what your wife thinks about your dream of becoming a male stripper….

I can just imagine your daughter and son in years to come finding the promo poster for “Bernieh and the Pole”

Actually, I just found out last year that my mum used to work at a movie theatre here in South Australia when I was very little (she was a young mum) back in the early 80′s. The cinema showed xxx movies and then she and other girls would dance during the intervals… Funnily enough I haven’t spoken to her in years, I just hope my fiancĂ©’s father never saw her!

Sapphire Phoenix
August 23, 2005 at 8:07 am

XD! I love this comic, it’s awesome!

“Make that two fellatios, please!!”

Class XD

@$$ oh 9
August 23, 2005 at 3:37 pm

Well done I like the sort of misinterpretation theme that has been going on in the past few

Black Ice
August 23, 2005 at 5:07 pm

Shin-Goji wrote:
I hate strip clubs. They’re noisy, smoke filled, the drinks are watered down, and I hate being pestered.
Jack shops however, I can spend the $200 I was going to spend in a strip club with a guarentee of no sex, and have some asian girl jack me off into a washcloth after a steamroom, body wash and massage. Now THAT’s smart money.

never heard of a jack shop.. but sounds good 8)

Llama_Ranger
August 23, 2005 at 6:19 pm

I read that five times. I laughed so hard i cried 5 times. keep up the good work…
I gotta say, i think thats one of your best. (Im another UK fan btw, in old York everyone can hear you cream :P)

Sapphire Phoenix
August 24, 2005 at 5:55 pm

Llama_Ranger wrote:
in old York everyone can hear you cream :P)

“Cream”? Was that deliberate? XD!!!

Yey for us UK folks.

Inquisition
August 25, 2005 at 10:55 am

ok so ive been reading for a while, i found the site about a month ago but i found it so funny that i wanted to savor the comics instead of rush through them. ive been reading a few a day and telling all my friends about it. i think there may be a few more fans now.

so, first post… the pressure, have i mentioned that a lap dance is always better if the stripper is crying? (bloodhound gang, good stuff).

thought id share a story that my friend told me about an encounter he had with a stripper, although ive never been to a stip club, i really wish i had been there for this:

so my buddy and his brother go to a strip club in the middle of the day, one of those random things young men do when they have too much time on their hands. well, apparently it was a very ghetto establishment in the parking lot of a mall, if you can believe it. anyway, apparently the only other patron there was the bus driver that drove us to grade school when we were kids (about 20 years ago, im 25 now). well, after the shock of seeing the dirty old bus driver drooling all over the “talent”, my buddy and his brother settled in for an afternoon of making jokes and talking shit to some women with low self esteem. anyway, as ive heard is the custom in places like this, some of the dancers were walking around asking if anyone was interested in a lap dance for $20. well, one of these women was pregnant at the time, but not just pregnant, covered in stretch marks, and her face can only be described as on par with “a can of smashed assholes.” she approached my buddy and his brother, and proceeded to beg them to let her dance for them. and she pointed to her belly saying she needed money to buy things for the baby. how pregnant was she? 7 and a half months, so her belly was out there. after several refusals and attempts at kindness, my bud got fed up with her… at this point she began to cry in desperation. well he took a $5 bill from his pocket and said, “i wont pay you to dance, but i will pay you to go the fuck away.” hearing that story brought a tear to my eye and a smile to my lips. I can die happy.

Ipsa
August 25, 2005 at 12:11 pm

Since we’re all sharing strip joint stories and encounters…

Mine’s actually not really exciting at all. I used to work for a lawyer who, somehow, wound up representing some strip joints. I had to go to one of those places to deliver paper work (Cabaret Royale, for anyone familiar with the Dallas area). Lucky for me there was a separate entrance for the main offices. I got some interesting looks as I approached the building, though. That was exciting.

I’m not quite certain what it is, but there’s just something about the combination of men, large quantities of alcohol, and naked women that make men crazy and/or violent. :lol: Not that I’ve ever been in any that… I just got to read a lot of interesting cases and police reports.

Raziel
August 25, 2005 at 6:32 pm

I just saw an episode of Friends where Joey finds out that his girl roots for the Mets. He says that “They’ll just have to work around it”

Therefore, Joey is more mature than Preston.

Black Ice
August 25, 2005 at 9:22 pm

i just remembered a story..

was talkin to my friend, well, he was cruisin around town with 2 of his friends and one of their girlfriends, and then his friend says hey.. drop me off at strip club man. its like 9 at night. he says ok.. and drops him off.

he lives and is 2 miles down the road and comes to a stop sign. then all of a sudden door opens and hes like WHAT THE FUCK?!??! it was his friend, who had run 2 miles to his car in SANDALS to catch up. “What happened?” he says.. well i went in to the bar and lookd around… nothin but guys! i talk to bouncer who is wearin nothin but a G string and ask him what’s goin on. he says it’s gays night here, and starts doing a dance. he had sprinted all the way from strip club to the car!!!

he then said it ended at 11… drops him off again, they come at 1 o clock when he says for them to pick him up, he is kind of drunk, says, come pick me up in an hour… he is having a good time. :D

predator lokton
August 26, 2005 at 11:50 pm

awesome comic as usually man u just do ur do and ill keep reading it

computer part was funny so was the end

unretro
August 27, 2005 at 2:41 pm

Great comic! What’s with all the thumping? =D

Barnsey
August 27, 2005 at 5:00 pm

Another awesome comic!! Love the way Pres can hear everything fine, but Abe’s as dumb as ever and cant hear anything right

Gojira Destructicus
August 28, 2005 at 12:42 am

A strip club? What fun can be found at a strip club? Abe is one troubled alien. *shakes head*

Lysis
August 28, 2005 at 9:04 am

Male strippers make a whole lot more money than women – why don’t you go for it? The guys who’ll slip the bills into your thong will be cute too!

Gojira Destructicus
August 28, 2005 at 8:39 pm

I’m a male so I wouldn’t care. Honestly, if I were one of the Juvenile Destoroyah’s I’d destroy everything in there with my micro oxygen spray.

yak shavings
August 29, 2005 at 1:37 am

Guys,
You really are one of the funniest webcomics* to come to the internet, and but i really wish that you guys could make more episedes per week. I really hate waiting a whole week to get some new aLp. Im sure its a lot of work and all, but you guys are awesome, so please, increase!

Yak

*I’d call it more of a live action-still life webcomic

Munan
August 29, 2005 at 5:25 pm

Yesterday I almost went to a strip club in Budapest, with a guy from Missouri that I met on the train from Zagreb to Budapest, who looked and acted exactly like Zaphod Beeblebox in the movie the hitch hiker guide to the galaxy.

That would’ve been the first time I went to a striptease bar. But we ran into a filmcrew working on the new Steven Spielberg film in Budapest, who took us to a disco where they were shooting the new Little Romeo (I’ve never heard of them, but I was assured he’s famous – is he?) videoclip.

Then the Zaphod Beeblebox guy (it was so weird, he was so much like the President of the Galaxy that I had the feeling I was in that movie all the time) wanted me to comment on his girfriend’s boobies which had recently been “improved”, which was actually very obvious (why would women want to do that?!). Which was the moment I decided to leave.

He did pay for my hotel room, though, in a 4 star hotel.

This was all very wild and I’m surprised upon coming back to Amsterdam to discover that there’s an aLp comic on stripclubs.

I swear, all of this happened for real.

Blaster
August 29, 2005 at 6:31 pm

Dude, they were clearly looking to do some swinging. I guess you missed out on the fun. :P

bobagorof
August 29, 2005 at 10:55 pm

That comic is classic! :lol:

Munan
August 30, 2005 at 4:11 am

Blaster wrote:
Dude, they were clearly looking to do some swinging. I guess you missed out on the fun. :P

What’s “swinging”? Because I only know that word as something one does to music, but I probably sound horribly naive right now.

Blaster
August 30, 2005 at 8:14 pm

You know, mutually sanctioned extramarital affairs, wifeswapping, cuckoldry. They wanted a hot three-way with you.

Munan
August 31, 2005 at 4:47 am

I suspected something of the kind (although I would never be able to phrase it as elaborate as you just did) which is why I left. Is this normal in the USA or something?

Holly Resurrected
August 31, 2005 at 5:00 am

It’s a sort of sub-culture. Not socially acceptable but people still do it. I think it was really big in the seventies, but it’s less popular now, from what I understand.

Munan
August 31, 2005 at 6:24 am

Like in The Netherlands.

Most of my friends would consider a visit to a stripclub utterly pathetic.

ash_wednesday
August 31, 2005 at 8:34 am

uhm..I’ve been to a few strip clubs (no suprise there….)

Munan
August 31, 2005 at 9:37 am

What was it like?

ash_wednesday
September 3, 2005 at 8:53 am

munan wrote:
What was it like?

well, actualy very nice. The ones I’ve gone to were very clean…and so were the women.

Munan
September 4, 2005 at 8:35 am

Clean?

Private Whore
September 4, 2005 at 8:58 am

Yeah you know, clean… the opposite of dirty…

Ik denk dat ie bedoelt dat het goed opgeruimd is enzo…

Munan
September 4, 2005 at 10:48 am

I mean, how could it not be clean?

Private Whore
September 4, 2005 at 12:01 pm

Maybe he means clean as in legit… or that nobody is addicted to crack…

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