Comments

bernieh
August 29, 2005 at 1:56 am

Comments on today’s comic go here…

Blaster
August 29, 2005 at 3:37 am

What tangled webs we weave…
Nice work, B.

Holly Resurrected
August 29, 2005 at 4:44 am

Where did the sombrero come from?

bernieh wrote:
without all the whole raging dishonesty thing.

That kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it? :lol:

I’m happy to say I never had to forge my parents’ signature, but my dad’s handwriting is so bad that I got accused of forging several times. It was those times that I wished I’d been bad so at least I could have had fun before getting accused.

And thank you so much for the Dr. Grammar link. I love you even more now.

Private Whore
August 29, 2005 at 5:36 am

Haha, awesome comic.
And nice story to go with it.

Nicoel
August 29, 2005 at 6:10 am

I’m sure one day schools will be asking for genetic fingerprints to confirm that parents have read things like that :)

I can just imagine my kids coming up to me at the start of the school year saying “Mum, if you give us your fingerprints and blood now, it’s going to save soooo much time and we wont have to hunt through the rubbish for your dna later on…about 2 pints of blood should do it :twisted: “

Fil
August 29, 2005 at 6:19 am

i dont think i got that one………

Morlock-bloodletter
August 29, 2005 at 10:38 am

Bernie,
as notorious as I am with the drawings, I can tell you that my creativity has gotten me in the exact same position you were in with your story at the bottom of todays comic.

5th Grade, Hendry Park Elementary. We had a dance group come in and do some interpretive dance for the school. Well I got bored like after 5 minutes and yelled at one of the guys, “PUSSY!”

Well long story short, I got ratted out and not only did I miss recess for like a month BUT I was forced to stand up in the front of class and give a report on the meaning of the word PUSSY!

The cruelty….. scarred me for life.

angelus_raptor
August 29, 2005 at 10:53 am

thumbs up, bernie :D nice stuff =P

Thane of Eurmal
August 29, 2005 at 11:31 am

Great comic, great story and great to see mad libs in a comic! I love those things – even created some for English classes I have taught (teaching English in Taiwan for the last 11 years…). Those things are harder to write than it looks! I tell you, making sentences general enough to take whatever word they throw at you is tough…

And if you want to avoid the dishonesty with your kids, don’t give them a reason to be dishonest with you. Let it be okay when they do quirky things like that. My son’s 16 months now and I’m already looking forward to re-living vicariously through him… :twisted:

Abomination
August 29, 2005 at 11:31 am

LOL
why a cow?????

angelus_raptor
August 29, 2005 at 11:37 am

good question! but that cow’s making me hungry. seriously…

Barnsey
August 29, 2005 at 1:49 pm

I found the randomness of the comic funny, altho i didnt understand it. I have no idea wat a Mad Lib magazine or watever it is, and so the rest of it didnt make sense to me….or maybe that was the point? the randomness did make me laugh tho. and cool story to go with it, that made me laugh more than the comic

Also didnt understand the Jesus part at the end ‘change the first adjective to Heathen….oh no i just didnt’ or something along those lines, didnt make any sense to me

Blaster
August 29, 2005 at 2:35 pm

Holly wrote:
Where did the sombrero come from?

I assume that it, along with the cow, was an act of God.

Morlock-bloodletter
August 29, 2005 at 2:35 pm

For those who don’t know.

Mad Libs were HUGE in the 80′s. They were these tiny books, the had stories in them. BUT some words of the stories were missing.

The missing words had a ________ and under it was the type of word you needed to fill in. i.e. (adjective), (proper name), (city)… etc.

You would fill it out and ask one of your friends for the missing word without telling them the story until you were finished.

It really was funny, but now my age is showing so I am out of here.

jennif
August 29, 2005 at 2:43 pm

LOL my head exploded!

“Oh, no you di-in’t!” is an “ethnic” way of saying “you didn’t seriously just do that, did you?” Jesus is playfully saying he’s so naughty for suggesting the word “heathen”.

I just read it again and my head exploded again!

xoxoxo
~j

Mctittles
August 29, 2005 at 2:46 pm

I actually own a big stack of mad-libs that I still buy. I bring em along to parties and it’s quite a bit of fun. A friend of mine Arnie always comes up with the sickest most vile words to put in the blanks. If it’s getting too lame we tell the person currently suggesting a word “W.W.A.D.”, which means “What Would Arnie Do”.

Anyway, I mainly posted to let you all in on a treat. Mad Libs on the net:

http://www.penguinputnam.com/static/packages/us/yreaders/madlibs/fun.html

Not as good as the book version but can give those who haven’t played an idea of what it’s all about. And remember….W.W.A.D.

Kameleone
August 29, 2005 at 3:39 pm

OMG, Bernie. That was quite possibly the most hilarious new-parent-worry I’ve ever yet heard. That was completely brilliant. Someday I shall tell my child(ren?) that story as something between a joke and a lesson. It’ll be great. I’ll be sure to track you down and let you know what she(they?) has to say about it.

The comic was kinda random, but still fun. I kept wondering if Pres was doing it intentionally.

krazyrobus
August 29, 2005 at 8:54 pm

Once again another genius strip. Who says changing daipers of twins isn’t inspirational?

AbbyNormal
August 30, 2005 at 12:14 am

I never thought I’d see the day when a comic strip would use the word “gerund”.

Grammar is sexy. :)

TheWrathOfKuhn
August 30, 2005 at 2:49 am

She knew what she was asking for…limericks are traditionally obscene. Gimme a break. Limericks that aren’t obscene are like beer that isn’t alcoholic.

So…let’s see what I got…

There was a young man named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
She had only one tit
and smelled worse than shit
but think of the money Dave saved!

There is a mathmetician named Hall
He has a hexahedronal ball
The cube of its weight,
times his pecker, plus eight,
is his number…give ‘im a call!

“On the beach,” said John sadly,
“There is such
a thing as revealing too much.”
So he closed his eyes
at the ranks of bare thighs
and felt his way through them by touch.

Close it out with an ol’ favorite.

There was a young man from Nantucket
whose dick was so long he could suck it
while licking his chin, he said with a grin
“If my ear was a pussy, I’d fuck it!”

Tell me some more please.

Deathmachine
August 30, 2005 at 2:51 am

hehe nice one :D
keep up the good work 8)

Munan
August 30, 2005 at 4:17 am

Is it me, or is Abe’s character becoming less one-dimensional? Great comic.

yiftach
August 30, 2005 at 7:26 pm

Hilarious comic today, and even funnier story. That was so me in junior high. Man, did I do some forgeries in my day… and worse later on, but damn that brought back some memories. Can’t wait to be a parent and be in your shoes, trying to figure out how to keep my kids honest without being a dick about it.

krazyrobus
August 30, 2005 at 9:11 pm

I remember once cutting a class in grade 7 and then getting a friend to forge a note for my teacher explaining why I was two hours late. My writing is very distinct and she would have noticed it straight away.

So he writes the note and I deliver it to her without reading it, turns out he’s spelt absent and complications wrong.

Electro
August 31, 2005 at 10:08 am

I want to hear the results!

Munan
August 31, 2005 at 10:39 am

Electro wrote:
I want to hear the results!

I want to hear why krazyrobus was two hours late!

Warrior Alien
August 31, 2005 at 10:09 pm

The sombrero, sheer genius. I love it. Great stuff Bernie. XD

Gojira Destructicus
September 1, 2005 at 2:40 am

I don’t get it. All sense of understanding has been consumed by the Bumageddon.

Repent stinkers! The end is nasal! Bumageddon looms! Cl<0

krazyrobus
September 1, 2005 at 3:37 am

munan wrote:

Electro wrote:
I want to hear the results!

I want to hear why krazyrobus was two hours late!

Slept in late.

Munan
September 1, 2005 at 5:12 am

Dude, two hours?!

That’s some serious sleeping!

krazyrobus
September 2, 2005 at 7:13 am

munan wrote:
Dude, two hours?!

That’s some serious sleeping!

In those days I was a sleepaholic, 20 hour sleeps were not beyond me if I had the time. Good times being a kid…

ash_wednesday
September 3, 2005 at 8:59 am

Blaster wrote:

Holly wrote:
Where did the sombrero come from?

I assume that it, along with the cow, was an act of God.

I thought it was an act of Jesus.

Munan
September 4, 2005 at 8:34 am

Isn’t Jesus, according to Christian dogma, God? As much as God the Father and the Holy Spirit?

Private Whore
September 4, 2005 at 8:59 am

But Jesus is the son of God, so that means he had sex with his mom and thus concieved himself… religious people have all the fun :(

Munan
September 4, 2005 at 9:46 am

You’re the first person who ever pointed out Oedipoedal tendencies in the story of Christ to me.

Now I need to digest this information…

Abomination
September 4, 2005 at 9:53 am

LOL
Jesus’s mother is virgin as the holy books say
She didnt know in fact how she was with child

OFF TOPIC!

Private Whore
September 4, 2005 at 12:02 pm

munan wrote:
You’re the first person who ever pointed out Oedipoedal tendencies in the story of Christ to me.

Now I need to digest this information…

Hey, a sick mind is a joy for ever…

Oedipoedal… Oe, die poedel! (Auch, that poodle in english ;))

Ipsa
September 4, 2005 at 7:15 pm

munan wrote:
Isn’t Jesus, according to Christian dogma, God? As much as God the Father and the Holy Spirit?

I think it depends on the branch of Christianity? I don’t know if other Christian churches believe in the dogma of the Holy Trinity. Not trying to start a flamewar, just really don’t know. Here’s a link to the Catechism if any one’s interested. [url]http://www.vatican.va/archive/catechism/p1s2c1p2.htm#III

I had this one professor who explained it really well, but I, uhm, kinda forgot how he described it. The Trinity is like a pizza? Something like that?

Private Whore
September 4, 2005 at 7:20 pm

Ipsa wrote:
The Trinity is like a pizza? Something like that?

Tee hee, Neo screwed a pizza!!! :P :P :P

angelus_raptor
September 4, 2005 at 8:00 pm

Aramor wrote:

Ipsa wrote:
The Trinity is like a pizza? Something like that?

Tee hee, Neo screwed a pizza!!! :P :P :P

be glad your nickname’s not “merv”, aramor! =P

Private Whore
September 4, 2005 at 8:03 pm

Merv screwes everything… “Zis is just a game!”

Blaster
September 5, 2005 at 12:22 am

As a follow-up to Ipsa’s post, there are a few ways to explain the nature of the Holy Trinity. St. Patrick used the clover as a model, to show how three things could be part of one larger whole.
Acutally, if you go back to the original Greek, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are presented as three hypostases, that is “methods of being,” rather than as three separate entities.
Yeah, I had 14 years or Catholic education, in case you couldn’t tell.
Hmm, the Oedipal implications are interesting, but it’s more the idea of God using a living host to become human. Just like in a sci-fi movie. :)

Simon_Says
September 5, 2005 at 1:01 am

Dude… that quote taught me more about the christian faith that all my 10 years of religion classes.

Ipsa
September 5, 2005 at 2:13 am

Blaster wrote:
As a follow-up to Ipsa’s post, there are a few ways to explain the nature of the Holy Trinity. St. Patrick used the clover as a model, to show how three things could be part of one larger whole.
Acutally, if you go back to the original Greek, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are presented as three hypostases, that is “methods of being,” rather than as three separate entities.
Yeah, I had 14 years or Catholic education, in case you couldn’t tell.

Homoousia! Yeahhh…!

Munan
September 5, 2005 at 3:34 am

Ipsa wrote:
I don’t know if other Christian churches believe in the dogma of the Holy Trinity.

All christian branches believe in the Holy Trinity, I know that for sure. It’s the nature of Christ they differ about. Whether He is wholly divine, partly divine, partly human, Both Divine and human at the same moment or only divine when not human and vice versa, etc.

You could do some great aLp comics centering around these questions.

The pizza metaphor I knew. They use it here as well for the education of… I don’t know the term, you know, rabbi’s, preachers, imams, pandits and priests who work for the army, or hospitals, or psychiatric institutions, or rehab or whatever…

Blaster
September 5, 2005 at 4:28 am

Ipsa wrote:
Homoousia! Yeahhh…!

Um, did you just call me gay? Hey, just because I would do Aramor, it doesn’t mean I’m gay!

Munan
September 5, 2005 at 4:29 am

Does it mean that you would like to impersonate Aramor, then?

You know, like ‘doing a Bush’ means giving a Bush impersonation

Ipsa
September 5, 2005 at 12:57 pm

Blaster wrote:
Um, did you just call me gay? Hey, just because I would do Aramor, it doesn’t mean I’m gay!

14 years of Catholic schooland you don’t remember homoousia? :wink: Council of Nicaea, AD 325. Homoousia = same substance, used in reference to the Holy Trinity. That’s about all I remember from my Catholic school education… And I got that from a history class.

Blaster
September 5, 2005 at 6:15 pm

Oh. Carry on, then. :)

ash_wednesday
September 6, 2005 at 5:16 am

Abomination wrote:
LOL
Jesus’s mother is virgin as the holy books say

The birth was kinda bloody huh?

Munan
September 6, 2005 at 6:35 am

Now way, I’m sure that it says somewhere in the catechismus something like ‘I believe in the Holy Virgin Mary, who was a virgin before, during and after the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ’.

ash_wednesday
September 6, 2005 at 11:30 am

Wow, that would be hard to do. Then again, she was touched by God……

Munan
September 6, 2005 at 11:47 am

Yes, touched by the hand of God.
Never knew it, but of course she was.

iamhalloween
September 6, 2005 at 1:21 pm

Wow, I wish I could go get a cow that easily. Well, at least one that has been harvested for me. Mmmm, shank!

Ipsa
September 6, 2005 at 1:58 pm

iamhalloween wrote:
Wow, I wish I could go get a cow that easily. Well, at least one that has been harvested for me. Mmmm, shank!

You know, that sounds almost down right wrong when the immediately preceding posts were on the subject of the Immaculate Conception. I was confused for a second there. “You want God to what?” :shock:

Munan
September 7, 2005 at 3:47 am

Ipsa wrote:
“You want God to what?” :shock:

Strike a cow with His thunder. iamhalloween’s God is clearly not a Hindu God.

rat fink
September 7, 2005 at 11:59 pm

I dont know if I am putting this in the right area, but anyhow I just gotta tell you guys that your comic kicks the most ass. please keep up the good work.

AAATripper
September 8, 2005 at 12:07 am

not us, the Big B, Bernieh. Some of us do the guest comics, but I’m to ignant to know much more than that.

Blaster
September 8, 2005 at 12:08 am

rat fink wrote:
I dont know if I am putting this in the right area, but anyhow I just gotta tell you guys that your comic kicks the most ass. please keep up the good work.

I don’t know if we should all take the credit here, or if we should actually forward this praise to Bernie. :lol:

Ipsa
September 8, 2005 at 12:14 am

[size=18:889c05945d]Ave, Bernie! :) [/size:889c05945d]

Master Chainsaw
September 8, 2005 at 8:50 am

Blaster wrote:

I don’t know if we should all take the credit here, or if we should actually forward this praise to Bernie. :lol:

Abusing your power Mr Moderator? Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? :lol:

Blaster
September 8, 2005 at 3:07 pm

:roll:

Master Chainsaw
September 9, 2005 at 3:47 pm

Quote:
virgin mary pictures
Meet Tens of Thousands of Sexy Catholic Singles for Love
Called By God?
Become a Marianist brother, priest, sister or laity!

All the biblical talk here has caused these ads to appear! I thought it said Martianist, which I assumed was some kind of loony cult. In fact typing loony cult has probably made even weirder ads appear. Also, a Catholic dating service? Thats rather exclusionary isn’t it?

Ipsa
September 9, 2005 at 4:27 pm

http://www.jesuslaughing.com/

Haha…! The Laughing Jeebus picture! In college, we called it the Bob Marley-Jesus.

Master Chainsaw
September 9, 2005 at 7:29 pm

Ipsa wrote:
http://www.jesuslaughing.com/

Haha…! The Laughing Jeebus picture! In college, we called it the Bob Marley-Jesus.

He does look like Bob Marley. Wonder what he’s laughing at? Maybe fundamentalists just told him the earth is only 3 thousand years old, and dinosaurs never existed.

Ipsa
September 10, 2005 at 12:12 am

Well, if He’s tripping on acid, He could be laughing at anything.

(dodges lightning bolt)

ash_wednesday
September 10, 2005 at 2:44 am

Ipsa wrote:
Well, if He’s tripping on acid, He could be laughing at anything.

(dodges lightning bolt)

Gawd you’re evil…I Love that in a woman..

BTW I want a laughing jesus t-shirt.

Ipsa
September 10, 2005 at 3:05 am

If I ever become a confectioner, I am going to make dark chocolate Sacred Heart of Jesus Cherry Cordials.

ash_wednesday
September 10, 2005 at 3:06 am

Nice…

Master Chainsaw
September 10, 2005 at 7:21 am

Ipsa wrote:
If I ever become a confectioner, I am going to make dark chocolate Sacred Heart of Jesus Cherry Cordials.

Mmmmm sacrelicious. :P

Munan
September 10, 2005 at 8:14 am

Mr Chainsaw wrote:

Ipsa wrote:
If I ever become a confectioner, I am going to make dark chocolate Sacred Heart of Jesus Cherry Cordials.

Mmmmm sacrelicious. :P

Not in a religion that weekly encourages its followers to consume the body of their saviour!

helmet boy
September 10, 2005 at 9:22 am

i didnt get it.

Master Chainsaw
September 10, 2005 at 11:48 am

munan wrote:
Not in a religion that weekly encourages its followers to consume the body of their saviour!

Smart ass. What about Protestants? :P

Munan
September 10, 2005 at 3:37 pm

True, but they still symbolically consume His body and blood.

Ipsa
September 10, 2005 at 4:48 pm

munan wrote:

Mr Chainsaw wrote:

Ipsa wrote:
If I ever become a confectioner, I am going to make dark chocolate Sacred Heart of Jesus Cherry Cordials.

Mmmmm sacrelicious. :P

Not in a religion that weekly encourages its followers to consume the body of their saviour!

Okay, there’s something wrong with SHoJCCs, but I bet Jesus would eat them!

/one ticket please, aisle seat.

ash_wednesday
September 10, 2005 at 8:04 pm

So…I’m guessing they saved you a seat in hell too huh? :wink:

Ipsa
September 10, 2005 at 8:24 pm

Looks that way so far…

ash_wednesday
September 10, 2005 at 8:27 pm

At least I’ll have someone interesting to talk to. Cool.

Master Chainsaw
September 10, 2005 at 8:33 pm

“When there’s no more room in Hell, the dead shall walk the Earth”
The way things are going right now, sounds like you’d get to take a holiday back to the ol’ dirt ball that you called home. Just remember brains are very filling ( except mine ) so dont snack beforehand.

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