Comments

bernieh
April 24, 2006 at 8:27 am

Comments on today’s comic go here…

Fron
April 24, 2006 at 8:35 am

first post dance
:D

well
first one anyway.. i’m new in this forum ^^

still:

very nice comic again :D

but: she had sex with him? ohmigod if i was pres i’d dump her anyway

Telveryon
April 24, 2006 at 9:02 am

Abe… A hero?! Now that’s something you don’t see every day…

Pimpman
April 24, 2006 at 9:09 am

Crap I had something to say oh well oh yeah I think I remember that has to be funny just imagine clinton one instant it’s their another IT GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol great comic as usual I sense oh and now I remember yeah pasifist are evil I know one at school she’s all oh my god the horse is dead when our teacher show a picture of like twenty guys dead and like one horse

p.s. This is history class

Munan
April 24, 2006 at 9:20 am

Yes. All’s well that ends well. Somehow, reading this comic was thoroughly satisfying.

DarthDidious
April 24, 2006 at 9:44 am

Acid-proof condoms……

This comic has taken a turn for the worse.

slobberchops
April 24, 2006 at 10:13 am

Clinton was the 42nd president.

"Walk of shame." Love it.

bernieh
April 24, 2006 at 10:39 am

slobberchops wrote:
Clinton was the 42nd president.

Of course I know that. What, did you somehow think the comic said "45th president"? There haven’t even been 45 presidents. That’s pretty dumb.

Sal
April 24, 2006 at 10:42 am

"when pacifists attack" :)

makarov
April 24, 2006 at 12:19 pm

Salvatore wrote:
"when pacifists attack" :)

:D :D :D
Gotta see that show!

Darth Vader
April 24, 2006 at 12:22 pm

Ouch!!!

That must have hurt!!!!! :shock:

WOW The Alien is a Hero he saved Corrina’s life with his acid proof condoms

HA! HA! HA! :lol:

mdsoze
April 24, 2006 at 1:27 pm

It’s a lucky thing it didn’t break. Must have been extra thick. I’m amazed any feeling got through.

slobberchops
April 24, 2006 at 1:33 pm

What, did you somehow think the comic said "45th president"? There haven’t even been 45 presidents. That’s pretty dumb.

I swear I thought it said 45th. Clearly I need to drink the coffee BEFORE I read the strip. My apologies. Perhaps I need a new glasses script as well. Sucks to get old..

Padawanmage
April 24, 2006 at 1:45 pm

Abe comes through in the clutch…even if he spared one of his ‘hundreds’ of condoms.

Which means *yuck* it was held and concentrated in one area. Yikes! Poor Bill! He’ll be bow-legged for a while. ;-)

bernieh
April 24, 2006 at 2:34 pm

slobberchops wrote:
I swear I thought it said 45th. Clearly I need to drink the coffee BEFORE I read the strip. My apologies. Perhaps I need a new glasses script as well. Sucks to get old..

No, man, I was joking. It did say 45th (I think as a placeholder, and I forgot to update it), and then you reminded me to fix it. Thanks!

jfruh
April 24, 2006 at 2:43 pm

In re: Ivory Soap: not only is that figure ludicrously precise, but it’s not clear what it denotes. 99.44 percent pure … what? Soap? Is soap some completely homogoneous substance now? Is a bar of Ivory composed of 99.44 percent soap atoms?

I thank you for your time.

jf

Dahaka
April 24, 2006 at 2:54 pm

The common process of purifying soap involves removal of sodium chloride, sodium hydroxide, and glycerol. These impurities are removed by boiling the crude soap curds in water and re-precipitating the soap with salt.
[1:15 seconds to research that]

You can shorten the length of time to produce soap by running less efficient and fewer refining cycles. They’re just telling you they care about you. Which is a lie.

Army of Darkness
April 24, 2006 at 3:02 pm

Question, if Ivory soap is 99.44% pure, whats the other 0.56%? Could that be the pubes you always find on bars of soap, which are actually implanted inside it and magically appear after its been used for a while?

Liking the comic strip as always, I wander if Abe will ever have any luck with the ladies….

Blaster
April 24, 2006 at 3:11 pm

On one of those commercials, they stated that "a woman’s pH can be significantly higher than a man’s." Assuming that skin, sweat, etc. are acidic, a higher pH would correpsond to weaker acidity. Meh, it’s all just a marketing ploy to move product.

Euphobia
April 24, 2006 at 3:28 pm

"Now if you’ll excuse me, I don’t want to be caught wearing the same clothes today as i was last night."

well she is always wearing those clothes, hm?

great :)

lillyonelee
April 24, 2006 at 4:21 pm

Blaster wrote:
On one of those commercials, they stated that "a woman’s pH can be significantly higher than a man’s." Assuming that skin, sweat, etc. are acidic, a higher pH would correpsond to weaker acidity. Meh, it’s all just a marketing ploy to move product.

I am Estrogen woman! Able to sweat acid in a single hot flash! Did you also know that a mom’s spit is the chemical equivalent of 409? It’s also great hair gel on the little boys.

:P

G-Diddy
April 24, 2006 at 4:39 pm

Army of Darkness wrote:
Question, if Ivory soap is 99.44% pure, whats the other 0.56%? Could that be the pubes you always find on bars of soap, which are actually implanted inside it and magically appear after its been used for a while?

Another excellent aLp episode, but this post by AoD had my ass rolling on the floor.

philosoph3r
April 24, 2006 at 4:49 pm

Now I know how Sigourney Weaver dint get hurt when having sex with the Alien.

ACID PROOF CONDOMS!!!

I got to get me one of those!! :P

Blozor
April 24, 2006 at 5:09 pm

bernieh wrote:
Okay, I don’t know what I meant by that. All I know is when I tried putting Secret on once, it stung.

Could it be you might have been allergic? I used it once, when I ran out of my own deodorant, and it didn’t sting me, which is odd because I <em>am</em> allergic to most scented deodorants. (Not all, thank God, but most.)

Blozor
April 24, 2006 at 5:21 pm

DarthDidious wrote:
Acid-proof condoms…… This comic has taken a turn for the worse.

Since an Alien secretes acid, an acid-proof condom would be a necessity when trying to mate with a human. I think the reason it worked with Ripley was because she was a clone mixed with Alien DNA or some such SF nonsense that I can’t quite remember now and don’t feel like looking up at the moment.

Nice touch there, Bernie. I congratulate you on your attention to detail and ability to turn it into a major humorous plot device.

Army of Darkness wrote:
Question, if Ivory soap is 99.44% pure, whats the other 0.56%?

Probably the perfumes, dyes, and whatever other additives they throw in to make it different from other soap brands like Zest, Coast, or Safeguard. There’s some sort of chemical additive in it that’s different from other soaps because I’m allergic to Ivory. I have to use Zest or Safeguard, which are the only two types of soap I’ve discovered so far that don’t result in a very irritating skin rash.

I have to be similiarly picky with deodorants. Deodorant by itself breaks me out. Antiperspirant itself breaks me out. Musk breaks me out almost as quickly as aftershave and cologne. Combine deodorant and antiperspirant, though, and my body is fine with it. To this day, I have no idea what the chemical is in this crap that I’m allergic to, but I have to pay close attention to what I buy. I’m pretty sure it’s got a lot to do with the perfume chemicals, though, since cologne and aftershave break me out the fastest.

Apparently whatever the other 0.56% of Ivory soap is, it’s what I’m allergic to since Zest and Safeguard apparently don’t have it. Well, there’s my TMI post for today.

Graffiti
April 24, 2006 at 5:25 pm

Hahaha, acid proof condoms. Abe will have to get lucky with someone chick eventually. But it’s good Corrina is alright.

Raziel
April 24, 2006 at 5:57 pm

I think the first panel was the funniest. Sometimes it the little things that get ya

TheTommyGun
April 24, 2006 at 6:05 pm

Sad… Ah well Clinton deserved it. Heck he might not even have his "thing" any more because the acid melted it off

slobberchops
April 24, 2006 at 6:15 pm

Blaster wrote:
On one of those commercials, they stated that "a woman’s pH can be significantly higher than a man’s." Assuming that skin, sweat, etc. are acidic, a higher pH would correpsond to weaker acidity. Meh, it’s all just a marketing ploy to move product.

I remember that. I was "Secret," wasn’t it?

"Strong enough for a man… gentle enough for a woman."

slobberchops
April 24, 2006 at 6:17 pm

bernieh wrote:

No, man, I was joking. It did say 45th (I think as a placeholder, and I forgot to update it), and then you reminded me to fix it. Thanks!

Aha. Well, so I’m not completely senile… only partially..

It’s nice to see Abe back again. I missed him. And he is saving the day, in his most clueless manner. I always look forward to Monday’s because of ALP…

Bernie, might I ask what the Corrina doll is based on? She bears an absolutely uncanny resembelance to my ex wife. Not that I want to buy one and chop it up or anything. Of course not.

Padawanmage
April 24, 2006 at 6:32 pm

Blaster wrote:
On one of those commercials, they stated that "a woman’s pH can be significantly higher than a man’s." Assuming that skin, sweat, etc. are acidic, a higher pH would correpsond to weaker acidity. Meh, it’s all just a marketing ploy to move product.

Yeah, I still get the giggles when I see a commercial where the woman looks straight into the camera and says, "Do you ever get that not-so-fresh feeling?"

Why, no, I can’t say I have…

;-)

jfruh
April 24, 2006 at 7:16 pm

Dahaka wrote:
The common process of purifying soap involves removal of sodium chloride, sodium hydroxide, and glycerol. These impurities are removed by boiling the crude soap curds in water and re-precipitating the soap with salt.
[1:15 seconds to research that]

Well, my point was that I don’t buy the idea that there’s one monolithic substance called "soap" that is always the same in every brand of soap. It’s not like, say, lead, where you can isolate lead from all other substances. Soap is a mixture of a bunch of things, and not everybody’s soap is the same, so I have a hard time understanding what "pure" soap is — you could just argue that one person’s "impurities" are another’s "value-add".

jf

adamfirefist
April 24, 2006 at 8:33 pm

"
Yeah, I still get the giggles when I see a commercial where the woman looks straight into the camera and says, "Do you ever get that not-so-fresh feeling?"
"

That reminds me of the scene from Family Guy, where they’re all watching a commercial on TV:
(Girl and mother having picnic.)
Girl: Mom, do you ever feel, y’know, not so fresh?
Mom: Sorry, honey, what?
Girl: Do you ever feel… not so fresh?
Mom:….I’m sorry honey, I don;t think I quite understand.
Girl: (sighs) Do you ever feel, y’know…..dirty…..*whispers* down there?
Mom: Oh. Oh. Oh! Oh, god, no!

I died.

CREAMASTER
April 25, 2006 at 12:34 am

Um… what constitutes "Pure Soap" anyway.
(Sorry if that’s been posted… I didn’t actually read all of them.)

FYI:
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_157.html

YAUJTA
April 25, 2006 at 5:32 am

LOL that’s great and of all the characters to save the day it’s Abe, great joke with the pH tested for women good spin on the old condom line.

Keep up the great work B and my best to the missus and little ones.

Mortain
April 25, 2006 at 5:54 am

Damn Hilary is my new hero! I want one of this pills! *grins*

Pimpman
April 25, 2006 at 7:02 am

oball wrote:

Pimpman wrote:
Crap I had something to say oh well oh yeah I think I remember that has to be funny just imagine clinton one instant it’s their another IT GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol great comic as usual I sense oh and now I remember yeah pasifist are evil I know one at school she’s all oh my god the horse is dead when our teacher show a picture of like twenty guys dead and like one horse

p.s. This is history class

Hey man, maybe you should, I dunno, slow down a bit? And perhaps take your meds?

Nah and I don’t take meds I was thinking on the spot besides meds might screw up my crazyness

guyveraxe
April 25, 2006 at 7:35 am

Poor Preston. Now he can never have Corinna. Because we all know any woman who sleeps with Clinton is forever ostracized from male companionship.

Well look at it this way, she’s a slut now, so Preston can move on with a clear conscience.

ONIKAGE
April 25, 2006 at 10:02 am

im with guyver here,corinna is such a bitch.ROFL
hope the plot takes an unexpected twist n we find out she hadnt sex with otherwise is gonna suck for poor preston;
actually he probably shouldnt care,its not like she was his gf anyways…
but then again i dont think predators r that uptight about sex relationships,nor am i,so.
forget what i said.
fun comic as always,btw. LOL

PEACE

Lady_Shera
April 25, 2006 at 1:16 pm

That was good that Abe did give him that condom. Maybe now you can let preston have a little fun with her. Before you kill het or something.

capnez
April 25, 2006 at 3:11 pm

Even if I did not like the overall story line, I think this strip is, somehow, very funny. And that even though it took me two websearches to find out that "Secret" is a deodorant (I am from Europe).

Jedi master sivroc
April 25, 2006 at 5:45 pm

Just because Clinton ejacualted acid doesn’t mean that Corinna had sex with him, Clinton was probably stroking himself……..

——just re-read the comic, so plz don’t pay attention to my post

Shelax
April 25, 2006 at 7:42 pm

Leave it to Abe’s crazy idiosyncrasies to save the day.

Tinkerjeep
April 25, 2006 at 11:39 pm

So, Corinna is…a slut? Or just misunderstood…I mean who would want to "do" Slick Willy anyway…for real? Lewinsky was probably just into it because of the whole power trip…despite what anyone else claims. Still, Lew new Bill was married and "played" with him anyway…Lewinsky would be a slut in my book. Same goes for Willy.

Bernie, Abe and Pres seem very well defined, but they are fictional- Willy&wife are real…do you write them the way you believe they are capable of acting, but tweaked abit for comedic reasons or just try and make it funny and not worry about their "character"? Cuz, I gotta say- They do seem a bit cartoony, but behave fairly close to how I allways percieved them.

Funny stuff, either way. "Acid proof condom" There are all kinds of chemistry questions that go into that…like the higher the acidity is the higher the alkalinity must be to neutralize it. High alkalinity is just as caustic as high acidity and can do nasty damage, also. Now think of where that thing is going…yowch! I think either party would be doing the "Oh-GAWD-THat-BURNS!!"-highspeed-backwards-crawl away from said prophalactic almost instantly after it was "employed".

But, I do realize this is a comic strip, and not a science fair project, so- no harm, good twist.

Pope William T Wodium
April 26, 2006 at 5:37 am

Tinkerjeep wrote:
"Acid proof condom" There are all kinds of chemistry questions that go into that…

Not necessarily. For example, a glass condom would be acid-proof. I can’t imagine that it would be much fun, and the health risks from breakage would be horrendus, but the point is that you don’t need a basic solution to make a thing acid-proof.

And anyway, I’m sure there are things you could do with buffer solutions that could neutralize a surprising amount of acid without posing dangers from high pH, but I don’t want to get to far beyond my meager chemistry education . . .

Xhydra
April 26, 2006 at 9:38 am

Hm, so Abe uses condoms after all…

Tinkerjeep
April 26, 2006 at 12:44 pm

Pope- okay, lets be reasonable here. Did Abe give out a box with a glass phial or test tube in it? No, I think we can assume it was in the little condom packages we’re all (maybe not?) familiar with. Don’t be adding impracticallities onto an allready impractical idea just to try and make a feeble counterpoint. Keeping things within the context of the fictional story – simply – a high alkilinty lube would have to be used on a standard type of condom in order to neutralize a high acidity ejaculate. If lube is not the neutralizer, then the actual condom itself is meant to neutralize a high acidity ejaculate, and it must do this by its own chemical make up. So there are chemistry questions brought up, yes? I won’t go into what a high alkali phalic object would do when inserted…you know where. That’s just too yucky to discuss and I’m sure a few of the female readers, if not all, would be severely grossed out.

BTW, you do understand that alkali and acid are at the opposite ends of the PH scale. a PH value of 7 is neutral, acid is on the lower numerical side and alkali (base) is on the higher numerical side…or thats reversed. Regardless of which is which, – to counteract a substance that is PH value of 1 to a "neutral" value of 7, you need a substance that is a PH value of 13. Aside from using a Glass condom, a chemical solution would most surely be required.

No insult intended here, but pull your head out of a chemistry book and join the real world. Condoms in general are somewhat iritating to a woman’s body, and spermicidal jelly is that much worse. I don’t know what the PH of spermicide is, but if its designed to kill sperm which are swimming around in a protective fluid, then it must be somewhat caustic. So extrapolate that type of PH to the extreme level that would be required to neutralize an ejaculate that (according to Bernie) is possibly as acidic as the Alien’s blood? But then not all of an Alien’s excretions are acidic- take Alien saliva -it is not as caustic as the blood, so maybe the semen and saliva would have similar PH levels, but who knows for sure? So there are even more chemistry questions -Yes?

Anyway, its fiction, so its not really that big a deal to figure out…like debating vampire lore…ultimately pointless. But if it were in the real world these questions would be brough up and an answer would have to be found. Thank God for fiction and creative license.

"Glass condom"- sheesh! All I can say is – try that…once.

Blaster
April 26, 2006 at 3:46 pm

Actually, I was going to make Pope’s point earlier, but thought, "why bother?" Now I have a reason to be pedantic.
Not every substance can be considered an acid or a base (i. e., not every substance has a pH). PH only applies to solutions, and maybe not all of them at that.
There is no need to assume that the condom must be covered with a high-pH subtance, it may simply consist of some advanced material that resists corrosion and possesses a high tensile strength.

Pope wrote:
a glass condom would be acid-proof. I can’t imagine that it would be much fun, and the health risks from breakage would be horrendus, but the point is that you don’t need a basic solution to make a thing acid-proof.

Clearly Pope was using glass as an example of such a substance, not as an actual hypothesized material for composition of the condom, as evinced by the fact that he considers the notion incredible.

big ben
April 26, 2006 at 4:21 pm

Okay…

Dahaka wrote:
The common process of purifying soap involves removal of sodium chloride, sodium hydroxide, and glycerol. These impurities are removed by boiling the crude soap curds in water and re-precipitating the soap with salt.
[1:15 seconds to research that]

Yup, but glycerol is actually moisturing the skin and normally seen as a bonus in a soap.
And, btw, of course soaps don’t only differ in their add-ons (perfumes etc.), but basically in the type of fat that’s used (soap contains of stearin acids, neutralized with soda lye). It’s great beeing a nerd :mrgreen:

Tinkerjeep wrote:
Did Abe give out a box with a glass phial or test tube in it? No, I think we can assume it was in the little condom packages we’re all (maybe not?) familiar with. Don’t be adding impracticallities onto an allready impractical idea just to try and make a feeble counterpoint.

"Glass condom"- sheesh! All I can say is – try that…once.

There are plastics which are acid-proof even more than glass. For example, phosphor acid does eat glass, so it has to be stored in scpecial plastic containers.
Besides, as aliens have exoscelettes their penises would have a hard surface. A tightly fitting glass condome has a chance not to shatter. perhaps. :wink:

Jedi master sivroc wrote:
Just because Clinton ejacualted acid doesn’t mean that Corinna had sex with him, Clinton was probably stroking himself……..

He? Playing with himself using a condom? :shock: don’t he wnat to get pregnant or what?

ONIKAGE wrote:
im with guyver here,corinna is such a bitch.ROFL

Why so? Because she enjoys having sex? Clinton is the man here. Why should she stick to a guy who dumped her beause of a freakin’ baseball team?

Somnaphile
April 26, 2006 at 6:32 pm

I totally agree. Marketing hype is bullshit. For example, "Pantene makes your hair 30% smoother"… than what? On what scale? Did someone calculate the acceleration and friction of hair against a hand pre and post wash? With other shampoos? Were the tests independant? Evidence empirical? Honestly. Do people just believe it because they have given up on themselves and think – "Yeah, they must know what they are talking about – I don’t need to question it." Lazy humans! How about this? I was watching the idiot box the other night and saw a commercial for "the world’s first" toothbrush with an on-board computer! Give me a break. Better clean, more efficient. Except of course that it now runs on a depletable power source and you have to replace the heads when it says or no brushy-brushy! Do yourself a favour and brush manually as the dentist instructed. Lazy-ass human. What’s next – a toothbrush that connects to the web to download updates on the latest in dentistry? Consumerism! FUUUUUUUCK!

Ok. I am off my soapbox now. Nice comic Bernie. I would love to see some more of just Abe and Pres out as Bachelors. I miss my bachelor days.

Tinkerjeep
April 26, 2006 at 6:34 pm

Okay, last time -sticking to the context of what actually happened in the strip, not – coulda, shoulda, mighta…happened. All I was saying was if an acid-proof condom that could be handed out in a standard condom wrapper was realistically used – that would raise some chemistry based questions – the questions pertaining to exactly how a condom would be made Acid-proof. As examples I listed a few questions I had about the coupling. and gave a humerous idea of the result of how I thought it would work.

But the wild arguments I’m getting from you guys indicate to me that you have probably never employed a condom in practical use or don’t understand the technicalities, side effects involved in doing so even if you have used one. I’m not going to explain how or why a Glass, or plastic or wooden or whatever constructed condom would work on a real penis, because it is way too stupid a subject.

And for the 3rd time now- this is not a science fair so its pointless to argu about it. So, having said that, I’ll leave you experts to bicker about this silly issue in earnst, because I’m laughing my ass off hearing some of these goofy retorts. – "Aliens have an Exoskeleton so Abe has a hard penis and so a glass condom might work"…good one! Aliens like Abe have no reproductive organs. Go watch "Aliens" again. This is why I think the whole the condom issue is so damn funny, everbody who has watched at least one of the 5 Alien movies will know that Abe will never get any! He’s not equipped!

Tinkerjeep
April 26, 2006 at 6:42 pm

"Marketing hype is bullshit. I was watching the idiot box the other night and saw a commercial for "the world’s first" toothbrush with an on-board computer! Give me a break. Better clean, more efficient. Except of course that it now runs on a depletable power source and you have to replace the heads when it says or no brushy-brushy! Do yourself a favour and brush manually as the dentist instructed. Lazy-ass human. What’s next – a toothbrush that connects to the web to download updates on the latest in dentistry? Consumerism! FUUUUUUUCK!"

Okay so you don’t believe toothbrush PR, but you believe a dentist?
How do you know he isn’t telling you to brush 3 times aday just so the abrasives in your tooth brush don’t wear down the enamel onyour teeth so you have to go in and get caps and fillings more often?

You opened a good can of worms here, who do you believe in? Can you fact check every single bit of information you process every time you need to make a decision? You gotta trust somebody sooner or later, because it is 100% impossible to know and do everything perfectly all by yourself.

BTW- I do think comercials are pure crap and too many people are trying to get their hands on our money, but there is a limit ,a nd sopmetimes you just need to make a decision based on instinct…or trial and error.

big ben
April 26, 2006 at 7:00 pm

Tinkerjeep wrote:
But the wild arguments I’m getting from you guys indicate to me that you have probably never employed a condom in practical use or don’t understand the technicalities, side effects involved in doing so even if you have used one.

- As a matter of fact, I have done so many times (not that we are here to discuss our sex lives), but on the other hand, I’m not an alien.
Man, don’t let this whole thing get you like this. We’re here to have fun, and right now, we tried to push this little discussion you started as far as possible. That’s all, nothing serious, nothing personal.
Ah, and Abe obviousely has to have a dick, why else should he carry around acid-prove condoms. Perhaps he is some special kind of alien. Xenomorph biology is not such a well established science, after all… :wink:

Tinkerjeep
April 26, 2006 at 11:52 pm

Dude, I’m tired of repeating myself, so reread my posts. Like I said- some people take things abit too far- and its all like debating the practicallities of Vampirism and the folklore…its stupid to take it really seriouslybecause its FICTION!!!!!!

If I really wanted to debate about something factually, It’d be on a subject not based on fictional characters in a comic strip, get me?

Abe has a penis because he carries condoms? – where? in his pants pockets? My wife used to carry a condom in her purse…does that mean she had a penis? I don’t carry a condom, but i have a penis…this logic is too much for me – I’m laughing again. Are you sure you’re not an alien, dude?

I’m not sure which is funnier though, Bernie’s outrageous plot developements or the fact that so many people take a comic strip so intelectually seriously.

Good stuff, Bern…I’m still hooked. Keep ‘em coming.


April 27, 2006 at 12:11 pm

While surfing through the dabates, I found that no one mentioned the acidity of a woman. I covered that area.

*runs back out*

big ben
April 27, 2006 at 12:24 pm

Hi!

As for myself, I’m here to have fun, by taking fantasy too serious, or otherwise. I know it’s stupid, that’s part of the fun – in the forum as well as in the comic itself. As for you – you obviousely like dumb discussions too, for you engage in this very much, actually putting an answer to my dumb points like "carries condoms = has penis".
OK, let’s see, if we can pull this any further :P
So, your wife carries condoms…
In case she wants to do it with a man (you, I hope). With a man of a species with penises (again, I hope it’s you) , or else the condoms wouldn’t be very useful. Abe carries condoms too. For the same reason as your wife? hardly (I wouldn’t jump in any conclusion, but in the comics so far, he seemed to be straight). So he probably has condoms in case he wants to do it with a woman, to use them for his own limb (as you would do, if you would carry condoms).
As for pant pockets – this is actually not about carrying condoms around, but about keeping them ready at all – in pocket, at home or elsewhere. Besides, Abe never seemed to have any problems to carry things around in the pockets of his inexistent pants…
:mrgreen:

Tinkerjeep
April 27, 2006 at 3:09 pm

Actually, my wife and I are getting divorced, but it has nothing to do with sex. So I don’t talk to her about her sex-life anymore when I see her. We did actually have an interesting discussion about her allergies to condoms, though two days ago. It answered a few questions I had about a year ago.

Yeah, I’ll get into a dumb debate but not to the extent of bickering pointlessly like -…"no it ain’t!" "Yes it is!", "NO IT AIN’T!!", "YES IT IS!!" YOU’RE AN IDIOT AND I HATE YOU AND I HOPE YOU DIE!!!!" "SCREW YOU!!!!" Etc. The argument seemed like it would get that way just like the one about Abe being a pedophile. I read that whole stupid thing, and gauged the ferocity of some people here who tend to get really outraged over something not really possible.

As for the stupidness of "carries condom=has penise"….its still a flawed argument, it assumes a premise that cannot be proven…or to say it more crudely- "the proof is in the pudding". So if you want to have this ludicrous discussion, you gotta do better than that…and I still say -since you claimed "Abe carrys condoms around", I gotta ask you "Where would he he carry them?- He got no pants or pockets!" I guess he could carry a man purse, but I’ve never seen that either…now get creative and stupid with me- come on…I promise i won’t snap your head off, but I will argue if you understand its for fun and we aren’t taking this too seriously, which I don’t…at all.

Blaster
April 27, 2006 at 8:20 pm

Tinkerjeep wrote:
But the wild arguments I’m getting from you guys indicate to me that you have probably never employed a condom in practical use or don’t understand the technicalities

Nice ad hominem; you lose at logic.

Secondly, just because we encounter fantastic elements in a comic strips such as this, or in a movie, it doesn’t mean that we should not contemplate how these elements might actually exist in real life. Just because there are alien life forms with unfamiliar characterisitcs, it doesn’t mean that the laws of physics, chemistry, etc. go out the window. You really need to familiarize yourself with the concept of magical realism.

Thirdly, your disingenuous approach is quite amusing. You argue a point, then claim the issue to be unworthy of discussion only to author prolific responses as soon as your position is attacked. Give me a break.

Tinkerjeep
April 28, 2006 at 12:19 am

lose the B.A. , drop the bong and stick to the issue – Where the hell does abe carry his condoms? Jeez, man. I’m trying to have a debate here about the stupidity of the subject matter here and you’re getting pissy. Lighten up. Remember?

Munan
April 28, 2006 at 5:35 am

How about taking your own advice?

Tinkerjeep
April 28, 2006 at 10:18 am

mind telling me how I’m not?

bernieh
April 28, 2006 at 11:14 am

Ok that’s about enough o’ that! Any further argumentative posts about whatever the hell you’re all talking about will be whacked!

Diversionary note! I was considering a punchline of "pH-Balanced For Her Pleasure"… but I thought sticking to the actual Secret anti-perspirant tagline was wiser, and it still got the point across.

Speaking of which, what’s with all the "For Her Pleasure" condoms? When’s someone gonna make a condom for OUR pleasure?

Army of Darkness
April 28, 2006 at 12:37 pm

I do find people arguing over comic strips amusing, it’s like listening to kids argue about who’s got the cooler lunch box, and why.
Anyway, its easy to make a condom for mens pleasure; just take one which is "ribbed for her pleasure", and turn it inside out. Now its "ribbed for his pleasure", just remember to add extra lube…..

Tinkerjeep
April 28, 2006 at 12:54 pm

Dammit! now Dad came and spoiled the fun!

Bernie, to settle a really stupid argument, I’ll ask you…I wish you would have spoken up sooner and settled this, but- What do you think?

Is there an answer?

And I’m sorry but I do think a naked, sexless, Alien walking around NYC trying to "get some" is ridiculously funny!

Munan
April 28, 2006 at 2:36 pm

bernieh wrote:
Speaking of which, what’s with all the "For Her Pleasure" condoms? When’s someone gonna make a condom for OUR pleasure?

I’m sure you’ll find one in this lovely shop in my town (Amsterdam) – don’t worry, totally safe for work.

Dusty Chalk
April 28, 2006 at 3:48 pm

I would like to think he masturbated.

(Am I allowed to say that here? If not, change it to the following, please: )

I would like to think he finished, later, after she left. I.E. by himself.

ONIKAGE
April 28, 2006 at 3:57 pm

big ben wrote:
Why should she stick to a guy who dumped her beause of a freakin’ baseball team?

corinna is not a bitch bcoz she enjoys sex but bcoz i figure tht the only reason 4 her 2 go with clinton (assuming she really did) was 2 make pres jealous of the pres.,hence admit he (pres,not the pres.) still had some feeling for her and that he was a jerk for fighting with her over the baseball thing.
women r like that,emotionally twisted…also we shouldnt forget predators r not the most sensible creatures of the universe,and i find pres makes a sort of exception here,that probably would make him sound gay among the ones of his kind…but then again considering how male predators let their female treat them we cant really say hes putting shame on himself.
this brings me to the conclusion that corinna,as representantive of the "fair" sex,is a bitch,for woman take advantage of our emotional dumbness to manipulate us and bend us to their insane will.
basically i meant to say taht corinna is a bitch not (only) in the slutty sense of the term,but also as "Woman",notoriously wicked bipede creature festering our planet.
i hope i made myself clear enough this time around.
now let the burnination begin.ROFL

PEACE

Tinkerjeep
April 28, 2006 at 4:11 pm

Sorry you feel that way, man. and you do have a point, but can I say, in all fairness – All women aren’t that bad…but alot of women do manipulate men just like alot of men treat women like nothing but a set of orifices in which to deposit sperm.

I think both sides could stand to refine their "mating practices" and "social skills"…this coming from a divorced dad, and I’m not bitter- go figure.

AmberEyez_Proclaims
April 28, 2006 at 8:35 pm

Dudes- since the condom issue seems to have been done to death…. he’s got a TONGUE, doesn’t he?
Problem solved. For Corinne, ennyhoo. *mwah* !

Tinkerjeep
April 28, 2006 at 9:36 pm

YIKES? one word – TEETH! To each their own though. I didn’t want to bring this up either…glad a gal did though…because the conversation was getting so…boring. :P

AmberEyez_Proclaims
April 28, 2006 at 9:37 pm

Teeth, yeah. but that’s what lips are for – to cover them! mostly…
I’d be a bit more concerned about the drool factor.
<<<shudder>>>

Tinkerjeep
April 28, 2006 at 9:38 pm

Wait…Clinton or Abe…I meant "Yikes" about Abe. You probably meant Clinton though, yeah?

Pieh
April 28, 2006 at 9:39 pm

What if Abe has a relapse while doing that thing you were talking about and accidentally shoots his alienbabymaker into her thingy?

AmberEyez_Proclaims
April 28, 2006 at 9:41 pm

Yikes re Abe – and as for the alienbabymakerthingy – I’ve got one thing to say. SPIT!

Tinkerjeep
April 28, 2006 at 9:58 pm

The protruding thing in Abe’s mouth is for feeding/attacking with, only the Face huggers can make babies in people…according to the movies, but bernie may have used some artistic license.

And "SPIT!" seems inadequate. But, well said. :lol:

Any of you guys ever check out H.R. Giger’s books of art…he employs alot of sexually disgusting designs in his alien stuff. The face hugger’s "mouth" was designed to look like a spread vagina, its meant to be even more disturbing when the penis-like appendage protrudes out of it. There are alot of twisted things in the Alien/Species monster designs. If you dig that stuff You could probably find Giger’s books – one is called "Necronomicon" (yeah, like Evil Dead stuff) and the other is something like "Biomechanoids" or something like that. I don’t own them, but I perused them once at a Walden…WEIRD STUFF!

big ben
April 29, 2006 at 9:48 am

Hi, I’m still alive.

OK, bury all condoms, pockets, whatsoever…

Ember Eyez made the best point here… how could we forget his Tongue… I love it :D (if he keeps his "inner mouth" closed, the teeth shoudn’t be a problem – but then again, I he uses them properly, I know some women who would love this [OK, I know one :wink: ]).

As much as I know, the illustrations of the Necronomicon inspired the makers of Alien in the first place and were the reason to hire Giger as production designer.

Tinkerjeep
April 29, 2006 at 1:29 pm

glad you’re back, ben. Sorry about the initial…misunderstanding.

I suppose the teeth could be used to manipulate the G-spot…but that could be a hit or miss idea…using a condom…but then, why would he need one…maybe some strange Alien STD? It’d be funny if the Aliens turned out to be like the invaders in War of the Worlds…the earth germs killed them – designed into the universe millions of years ago…(to sorta quote the new version of the movie). Maybe that’s why the "aroma" is the way it is…to eventually kill off hordes of marauding, cunnilingus-starved, Zenomorphs. BWA-HAHAHA! I kill me.

Yeah…I’m not sure if Giger came first or the script did…you’re probably right…Did you ever see the "making of" documentary on the first fullsize Alien sculpture Giger built? He used real bones…some of them human ribs, spine, and skull, I believe. This guy has a strange fascination with weird dead stuff…his art seems a bit on the "blech" side…like the modern, darker, grosser version of Dali. Of course most of us must share his tastes to a certain extent…otherwise why would we be hear reading a comic strip featuring a weird, dead looking bug thing alien…unless its for that other guy…the Rastafarian with low self-esteem.

AmberEyez_Proclaims
April 29, 2006 at 2:23 pm

At the risk of getting WAY too graphic – - –
Put the )(#$&(#* condom on the inner-mouth thing. Boing! :shock:
Solves lots of problems that way.

Tinkerjeep
April 29, 2006 at 2:36 pm

well, yeah…but I was curious about tooth breakage of said condom…if Abe were to "manipulate" the G-spot with his teeth. Sorry if I didn’t make that clear.

Army of Darkness
April 29, 2006 at 6:25 pm

HELLO VIEWERS, AND WELCOME TO "PERVERTED ALIEN LOVE MAKING TECHNIQUES EXPLAINED"

I dread to imagine what anyone new to this site would think if they started reading this page: "Dear Lord, they’re a bunch of oral sex obsessed xenomaniacs!" Good job I have a sick sense of humour and a love of porn (for research purposes only you understand, it helps to know what women like), otherwise I would be seriously freaked out by this point!

Bernie, what have you started here?!

Mortain
April 29, 2006 at 8:41 pm

bernieh wrote:
Speaking of which, what’s with all the "For Her Pleasure" condoms? When’s someone gonna make a condom for OUR pleasure?

But don’t you know Bernieh, It’s all about us now.. :P

Tinkerjeep
April 29, 2006 at 10:32 pm

Uh…its allways been about you. Some guys understand that.

You know. That’s true what was just said…this is kind of stupid and really…what’s the point, aside from discussing sexual habits of fictional Aliens? Anybody really benefitting from any of this?

I mean we all pretty much know how we would do the deed, yeah?

Maybe we should move on-
Here’s a question -
Does Preston really love Corinna? Is he acting like a hurt friend who legit. is looking out for her well being, or is he a horny player who is just jealous that she isn’t boinking him and he’s playing her into bed?

Tinkerjeep
April 29, 2006 at 10:34 pm

BTW, Mortain- your cat having a bad day? Seems to be on the "grumpy" side.

Mortain
April 30, 2006 at 5:41 am

Tinkerjeep wrote:
BTW, Mortain- your cat having a bad day? Seems to be on the "grumpy" side.

No that’s me on PMS with a gun. Any more questions?

Tinkerjeep
April 30, 2006 at 11:22 am

I see. I prefer the H&K 91 versus the AK47…but to each his/her own.
Do you actually go shooting? It can be very therapeutic…especially if your range allows you to staple up pictures of your ex on the target.
:D And no, I don’t do this…My ex and I get along well.

big ben
April 30, 2006 at 5:36 pm

Hi!
@Tink, you’ve outdone my posts count edge of 11 in a single threat about sexuality… :o
Of course, using a condome on his tongue would prevent Abe from some teeth games. But after all, you don’t have to do it the same way every time (in (fictional) fact, he’s only dreaming of find the opportunity most of the time, so perhaps he’s a little confused about the technique himself).
As for "her pleasure" – I think for the (human) male, a lowered sensation will prolonge the act and thus improve the pleasure (that’s what I like condoms most for).

I’m pretty shure that the Necronomicon was there before the script. As much as I remember, I read it on Giger’s own homepage.

bravus
May 1, 2006 at 1:00 pm

On the acid-protecting condom thing (non-argumentatively-bernie-please-don’t-smite), teflon would get the job done.

On the condoms for his pleasure: http://www.ripnroll.com/headlinenews.htm

Tinkerjeep
May 1, 2006 at 1:13 pm

Yeah, some condom induced loss of male sensitivity can be a good thing…until the woman becomes sore. :x

Teflon…hm. A non-stick surface- no lube required? :roll:

spasticfreakshow
May 1, 2006 at 5:32 pm

O.K., I also have severe allergies and I do take prescription drugs, but I hate them and I will do the year of shots soon, to see if that works.

Meantime, butterburr is a very powerful antihistamine but it’s a plant, so you can take it with whatever else you’re already taking, one pill (better if you take it with Quercetin) works for 24 hours.

Freeze-dried nettles are supposed to help tremendously, but are meant as a preventative, so you have to take it every day all year – both of these are so harmless, though, that if you do take them every day, no big deal.

Bee pollen and honey – from your local area - when consumed daily, should work as a great preventative.

My sister is a naturopath in Portland, Oregon and she has rescued me many a time without me needing to resort to prescription drugs at all. She has a practice there, as well, actually. Naturopathic medicine is not like herbology, naturopathic doctors go through 8 years of college, minimum, then often years of practicing before passing licensing exams. Unfortunately, naturopathy is only licensed in 12 states in the U.S. bc the American Medical Association is a mafia. They’re probably distant relatives of the Illuminati! If it is licensed in your state, naturopaths will be found in the yellow pages, under physicians, naturopathic.

1st Lt. Azrael
May 2, 2006 at 12:39 am

Well, get well soon!

Tinkerjeep
May 2, 2006 at 11:39 am

Hey, Spas,

How does naturopathy differ from homeopathy? The AMA really hates Homeopathy too. I believe they’re pretty much just pushers for the pharmaceutical companies…and not from any news program telling me this…I’ve had neumerous health problems over the years and seen my parents spend many thousands of $$$ on regular doctors and homeopathic doctors and their witch-brew treatments but they still have crummy health.

I’ve found that unless I need to have something sewed back together, I just let my body try to heal itself and avoid doctors…obviously that doesn’t work for everyone though.

Bernie, take your time. I’ve been kicked in the ass by allergies too. I find chaging your diet can help a bit, but it doesn’t really inhibit the pollen, just your body’s reaction to things ingested…to a certain extent.

BTW do you have a dust free house? cleaning the house and getting a good filter for your AC and things of that nature can really help cut that down.

Army of Darkness
May 2, 2006 at 1:34 pm

Fear not Bernie, Im sure we can amuse ourselves by reading through the older issues of the comic, or looking around the forums; I never realised there where quite so many….

Anyway, I have an idea to help you with your allergies; you could wear a respirator mask and goggles, at least until summer ends. Just remember to take them off when you go into shops, avoids misunderstandings….

Pimpman
May 3, 2006 at 8:31 am

I personally would say kill the air or something but I forgot that air is immortal oh well fire might kill the spores around you I don’t know

Tinkerjeep
May 4, 2006 at 12:32 pm

"kill the air"??? "air is immortal"???
Dude, who writes your stuff? Cuz that is funny as hell! :lol:
Or you are serious and stoned…in which case…that’s pretty damn funny too. :D

rzuckermanmd
May 4, 2006 at 4:16 pm

Hey I wanted to give you some solid advice on taking care of your tree allergy. I am an allergist and I am sorry you are suffering. I am also sorry you did not produce a comic this week as it is one of my favorite diversions. You know I did send you my animation during the last contest. Well anyway, back to those pesky allergies. First off start taking loratidine 10 mg over the counter antihistamine. It was called claritin in the past. You can get 300 for $ 11 at costco. Sam’s club, wallmart they all have it but may be not as cheap. Then get some visine tears eye drops. You can take 1 or 2 pills a day. Any more and you will have trouble taking a wizz. The eye wash you can use liberally as you want to. Nafcon eye drops help some but the best ones are all prescription and you will have to see a Dr. for that. Keep your windows closed and turn on the a/c. Wear sunglasses with the side protectors like the old "Rat Patrol" goggles ( a tv series circa 1970′s ) . I’ll send you another installment after you put out another comic. Quid pro quo. My wife Loved Clinton. She would of been an intern if she didn’t have 3 kids. I think he always pissed acid. Later Dr. Z allergy and Asthma Specialists of HArrisburg PA 7175418066

juneko74
May 8, 2006 at 9:58 am

HI, I’m new to this board… LOVE THE SITE

I am quite sad that Corinna slept with Clinton and not with Preston

makorules
July 26, 2006 at 11:53 am

This was one of the best comics yet……

P.LE
October 17, 2011 at 4:14 pm

“pH -balanced for women” <– I ripped totally xD

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