Comments

Munan
May 8, 2006 at 9:58 am

If Preston were what Abe wished him to be, this comic would not be as funny!

Ipsa
May 8, 2006 at 10:05 am

I like that someone thinks Jesus is overrated.
Nice touch with Jews for Jesus in the last panel there, B.!

Munan
May 8, 2006 at 10:07 am

Ipsa wrote:
I like that someone thinks Jesus is overrated.

Reminds me of that Morrisey song: I have forgiven Jesus. Only Morrisey would consider not giving JC the benifit of doubt.

mercury
May 8, 2006 at 10:23 am

I went to one of the Yankees-Twins playoff games last year and sat next to this hilarious guy with a "Jews For Jeter" hat on. I want to say that it had the Yankees logo looking like hebrew characters, but maybe that’s just wishing thinking in hindsight.

Sal
May 8, 2006 at 10:30 am

back to old school subject matter? hopefully.

Barnsey
May 8, 2006 at 11:25 am

didnt get it :? being from England i have never seen a game of Baseball in my life and have no idea what all these RC/27 things are??

also (and dont castrate me for saying this) but i think ALP hasnt been as funny lately as it used to be, found that the Corinna date storyline got a bit tedious after about the 10th week of it….please bring back the old storys as i couldnt get enough of them :D

favourite episode so far is still Episode 80….so simple, yet so hilarious. prefer the ones that you dont really have to think that much about, yet there still hilarious

kiezkahse
May 8, 2006 at 11:29 am

Munan wrote:
Reminds me of that Morrisey song: I have forgiven Jesus. Only Morrisey would consider not giving JC the benifit of doubt.

Clearly Morrisey needs to listen to more TISM.

"the Beatles found out with Helter Skelter / And John Lennon saw it in Mr.Chapman
And the Stones learnt from Gimme Shelter; / You’re only as good as your fans…
Each man kills the thing he loves: / The fisherman caught in his own net.
It’s frightening that you deserve /The audience that you get.
So maybe we shouldn’t hate Collingwood /Or blame religion on J.C.
Or marvel at all the racist kids / Who love Public Enemy."

Anyway, can we get a translation on all of those acronyms being tossed out at the end, or are they just random BS?

ladysun1969
May 8, 2006 at 11:38 am

Ah, you should have had the sign say "Jesus is just alright!" and referenced two old songs in the same strip….

ps. I love this comic!

-Michèle

G-Diddy
May 8, 2006 at 11:43 am

Makes me wanna skip work and catch a game, especially with the perfect weather this week.

This is a great site for those of us who suffer from seasonal allergies.
http://pollen.com/

Army of Darkness
May 8, 2006 at 12:00 pm

Hmmmm… Being from sunny old England I dont understand all the baseball jargon either. I thought baseball bats were for hitting young hooliguns with, since we’re not allowed any cool weapons like tasers or stun guns etc. Never mind, English culture is better anyway. Why? Because I say it is, that, and we have better uses for sporting inplements ( watch ‘Shawn of the dead’; cricket bats are good for beating people to death with too ).

Darth Vader
May 8, 2006 at 12:42 pm

Baseball……

What the Hell happened to Baseball’s popularity here in the U.S.???

Its gone to Hell!!!! :evil:

grievous angel
May 8, 2006 at 12:42 pm

Your comic timing is effortless, Bernie. Good to have you back

ruds
May 8, 2006 at 1:00 pm

Well, these stats are pretty obscure. I didn’t know what any of them were offhand, though I don’t follow baseball closely, but I was able to find all but RISP in wikipedia’s baseball statistics category. They are:
OPS with RISP: on-base percentage plus slugging average with runners in scoring position — this measures a player’s production on offense in clutch situations.
RC/27: runs created per 27 outs (27 is the number of outs each team makes per game) — this is another statistic measuring a player’s worth on offense and is closely related to OPS (ignoring RISP).
VORP: value over replacement player — this compares the player’s worth with that of a player that could replace him with minimal cost to the team; it is based on outs made and runs created.
DIPS ERA: defense independent pitching statistics / earned run average — ERA is a standard statistic for pitching effectiveness. DIPS ERA takes into account the fact that the defensive players affect the ERA by being good or poor fielders; it takes into account only those things that the defense doesn’t affect, i.e. home runs, strikeouts, walks, and struck batters. It’s apparently a very complicated statistic to compute.

The numbers that predator quotes are unbelievably good, but the guy next to him probably doesn’t understand what they mean.

oyvey99
May 8, 2006 at 1:26 pm

can you tell I’m procrastinating? Here’s an explanation for the Brits (and anyone else who doesn’t understand baseball speak in the new stat crazy world). I had to look up some of these myself. I got a sense that spouting out all of the numbers in the strip are a dig at baseball nerds and all the hypermathemetical stats that have been invented in the last 10 years, but all still show that the greatest hitters ever were Ted Williams, Babe Ruth, Mays, Bonds (juicing debate aside), Cobb, etc.

OPS- is on-base percentage (OBP) plus slugging percentage (SLG). To break that down, OBP is how often you get on base as a percentage of how often you come to bat. This includes hits and walks (whereas the typical batting average is just hits). It’s not too different for most players, but for a guy who gets a lot of walks (like Bonds) the OBP is much higher than batting average. So smaller guys who get a lot of hits (like Ichiro) and a few big guys who get enough hits but also alot of walks (Bonds) have high OBP.
Slugging takes into account basically how much power your hits have. So a double is worth more than a single, RBIs (runs batted in- who scores after you get a hit) count more, and home runs count the most. It’s a measure of who the most powerful hitters are.
Add up those two and you get OPS, which is the best way of looking at who is the best hitter overall. In 2004, when bonds hit a mere 45 home runs (probably because the steroid investigations were heating up, but no bans existed yet) but set the all time record in walks, his OPS was a record 1.422.

RISP is average with runners in scoring position, or basically someone’s average when there are runners on second or third base or both. It’s a measure of how well people hit when under pressure, when there is a chance to drive in runs. Most hitters stay pretty close to their regular batting average, but according to this- http://www.baseballmusings.com/archives/009154.php
a few do much better (Mark McGwire and Robin Ventura are the only recent names of note on there).

Since batting average is already included in the OPS, a straight adding of RISP might not be the best measure, but unlike Bill James, I don’t have time to figure out how to incorporate this mathematically.

RC/27- runs created / 27 outs- as explained here- http://www.baseball1.com/bb-data/nelsonlu/rc27.txt
this is a measure of how many runs a team made up of only that player would score in a game. There are 27 outs per side in a game (3 outs per inning, 9 innings per game). Formula is on that site. It’s complicated. In the aforementioned Bonds 2004 season, he set a new RC/27 record with 22.08. Second place all time was Bonds 2001 with 21.23, and third was Ted Williams 1941 (the last year before many of the players entered the military) with 19.14. So yes 35.31 would be destroying the record.

VORP is the value over a replacement player- or how much better (or worse) this person does than the average player at that position.
full explanation is here- http://www.stathead.com/bbeng/woolner/vorpdescnew.htm

ERA- Earned run average- how many earned runs (not those attributable to errors) a pitcher gives up per nine innings. The best every year are typically between 2.00 and 3.00 (Pedro put up 2.07 or so for a few years in the late 90s), while anything under 4.00 is good.

DIPS- Defense Independent Pitching Statistics- this is a measure of runs allowed and hits allowed once you factor out who is playing defense. it’s a measure of the pitcher as a pitcher, not supported/hurt by the guys behind him. It’s complicated too.

DIPS ERA combines the two, figures out what the ERA would be without considering defense. Numbers often work out to about the same (best below 3.00, good below 4.00). So yes, 0.27 is divine.

If you made it this far, hope this helped!
-Adam
Brooklyn

Dean
May 8, 2006 at 1:52 pm

Lemme hasten to point out that Bernie IS one of those baseball nerds. He just knows it, is all.

mdsoze
May 8, 2006 at 3:13 pm

The funniest part of the statistics is when statisticians get together and debate whether or not the stats have any meaning. I was party of a long, involved argument on a forum about DIPS, and its merits to measure pitchers.

The Con argument said here is what DIPS tells you:

If you factor out Home Runs allowed, walks surrendered, and strikeouts, count every base hit the same whether its a single or a triple, remove the context of home ballpark and the defensive abilities of the players behind them, all pitchers become the same.

Gee, that’s useful.

Tinkerjeep
May 8, 2006 at 3:46 pm

"Bese boll ben bedde bedde good to me."

I don’t remember who said it, but that’s about the depth at which I follow baseball.

Now, curling…thats a sport!!! Whoohoo!

And Shawn of the dead…great zombie movie.

magestikdragon84
May 8, 2006 at 6:37 pm

Man, even though I have no clue about anything with Baseball (and I live in Texas lol) i still love the comics, simply because of Jesus (and I’m catholic). Though, something kinda is bugging me… the figures used for the jews, are those old Ghostbuster action figures? Namely, Peter and Ray?

AmberEyez_Proclaims
May 8, 2006 at 8:02 pm

oh no. are we going baseball crazy here? ARRRRRRRRRRRgggggggggh.
Sorry – I will do my best to follow the baseball thread until it migrates into something more.. well, not baseball. Sigh.

Barnsey
May 8, 2006 at 8:08 pm

magestikdragon84 wrote:
Though, something kinda is bugging me… the figures used for the jews, are those old Ghostbuster action figures? Namely, Peter and Ray?

man i hope so!!!

that would be a hilarious storyline, the ghostbusters chasing Abe and Pres :D PLEASE BERNIE MAKE IT HAPPEN!!! :D

YAUJTA
May 8, 2006 at 8:25 pm

Great work B, i really like the jesus jokes. Also my little brother had to do an assignment for music on ‘The Phantom of the Opera’ so i laughed very hard about the Webber joke :lol: .

Keep it up mate and me best to you and the family.

5tephe
May 8, 2006 at 8:47 pm

Only you people could take a game as PERVERSELY CONVOLUTED as cricket, and decide that it didn’t have enough silly rules.

Actually, that’s not true: we Australians did the same thing.

Sigh- Bloody Australians….

Army of Darkness
May 8, 2006 at 9:12 pm

Speaking of Australians, I just sold my old laser sight to one…. strange.
Thankyou for explaining the baseball jargon; still doesnt mean anything though. Tiddly winks; now theres a sport….

Complex_Number_States
May 8, 2006 at 9:47 pm

Well, the first thing I wanna say is, I knew what all those stats were the first time through. And they are useful numbers, much better numbers for assessing the actual quality of a baseball player than just RBI or batting average. An OPS of 4.215 is very near the maximum possible, definitely the kind of numbers Jesus would be putting up.

Second, it was Chico Escuela, played by Garret Morris on the old old Saturday Night Live, who said "Bese boll ben bedde bedde good to me."

And third, I have to take issue with your use of the word "nerd" in the context of sabermetrics. (Sabermetrics is the name for all those new, useful, baseball statistics)

In general, the word "nerd" means a socially inept person. This is not the word you want to use. The word you want is "geek". A "geek" is an intelligent socially inept person.

Us geeky sabermetricians just want to make that clear. :D

Simon_Says
May 8, 2006 at 9:54 pm

Yes! Finally I got my ALP fix!

Tinkerjeep
May 8, 2006 at 11:47 pm

A "Geek" used to be a sideshow circus freak that bites heads off of animals, such as chickens. How the hell that ever came to mean a specially skilled person in the use of computers is way beyond me.

The other def is a socially or physically awkward, bizarre, or different person, generally a teenager.

So Visionary’s slogan "We have Geeks" is a joke that I will laugh at till the day I die. Same goes for the "Geek Patrol" commercials for some computer tech service. "HEAD BITERS!!!!!"

Alternate Spideygal
May 9, 2006 at 12:11 am

Is Ozzy a "geek?" >.>

Tinkerjeep
May 9, 2006 at 1:29 am

Ozzy is a lot of things, kid, "geek" and "alcoholic" being items on the long list, though to hear him explain it he did do the dove at a record deal signing out of impulse…the bat on stage was supposed to be fake…I believe he had to go get rabies shots for the bat incident…knuckle head! I actually stole my handle from Ozzy. My original version on a Jeep site is "Mr. Tinkerjeep", based on the song "Mr. Tinkertrain". Except I’m not a pedophile…I’m a Jeep-o-phile…sans the sex.

DarthDidious
May 9, 2006 at 2:45 am

Good stuff, as usual.

Pimpman
May 9, 2006 at 6:59 am

Darth Vader wrote:
Baseball……

What the Hell happened to Baseball’s popularity here in the U.S.???

Its gone to Hell!!!! :evil:

Calm down Lord Vader the reason why is because of steriods and people are all touchy feely about steriods and don’t care how cool a ball flying into space is or big headed baseball players on the feild come on if you think about it this was prodicted in the sports cheats where you can have the players get really big heads

Munan
May 9, 2006 at 7:25 am

kiezkahse wrote:

Munan wrote:
Reminds me of that Morrisey song: I have forgiven Jesus. Only Morrisey would consider not giving JC the benifit of doubt.

Clearly Morrisey needs to listen to more TISM.

"the Beatles found out with Helter Skelter / And John Lennon saw it in Mr.Chapman
And the Stones learnt from Gimme Shelter; / You’re only as good as your fans…
Each man kills the thing he loves: / The fisherman caught in his own net.
It’s frightening that you deserve /The audience that you get.
So maybe we shouldn’t hate Collingwood /Or blame religion on J.C.
Or marvel at all the racist kids / Who love Public Enemy."

I think Morrisey‘s beef with J.C. is of a more personal nature:

But Jesus hurt me,
When he deserted me, but,
I have forgiven you Jesus
For all the desire,
He placed in me when there’s nothing I can do
with this desire

As for Andrew Lloyd Webber, I think Roger Waters said it all:

We cower in our shelters
With our hands over our ears
Lloyd-Webber’s awful stuff
Runs for years and years and years
An earthquake hits the theatre
But the operetta lingers
Then the piano lid comes down
And breaks his fucking fingers
It’s a miracle

Classic!

Oh, and am I the only one who likes cricket better than baseball?

spasticfreakshow
May 9, 2006 at 9:37 am

Ipsa wrote:
I like that someone thinks Jesus is overrated.
Nice touch with Jews for Jesus in the last panel there, B.!

no offense, but um – ALL JEWS THINK THAT…have you never met a Jew before? it’s weird but in Kentucky many people told my sister that she was the first Jew they’d ever met. Jesus being a Jew, it’s kind of like HIS PEOPLE think he’s overrated and those who know far less about him don’t quite get it. Jews for Jesus, which is actually a Christian attempt to convert Jews, spawned another group, which I find equally ridiculous. check it out, i think you’ll get a laugh.

Munan
May 9, 2006 at 9:56 am

Hey, don’t forget muslims for Jesus and hindus for Jesus!

Ipsa
May 9, 2006 at 10:09 am

spasticfreakshow wrote:
um – ALL JEWS THINK THAT…have you never met a Jew before?

No offense taken. My landlady is Jewish actually and is pretty okay with this Jesus fellow. She’s even gone to a Catholic mass just to see what it was like. Not that this really supports the "she doesn’t think Jesus is overrated" argument, but I understand it as if she thought thus then she wouldn’t have gone, right? I have seen the Jews for Judaism page before (about the same time I’d seen Jews for Jesus, which was a couple of years ago) and did find it somewhat amusing, though Jews for Jesus is "funnier" today because you’d be surprised at how many people do not like being reminded that Christianity is an off-shoot of Judaism.

spasticfreakshow wrote:
Jesus being a Jew, it’s kind of like HIS PEOPLE think he’s overrated and those who know far less about him don’t quite get it.

Well, good thing that I understand that then. Otherwise I’d feel pretty insulted if you’re trying to say that I personally don’t get it. :P

Maybe I’ll just re-edit my initial post here, which thereby summarizes the strip:
I think it’s funny that someone says that Jesus is overrated to Jesus’ former roommates and gets schooled in Jesus’ stats.
Fie!

Tinkerjeep
May 9, 2006 at 12:42 pm

Actually Christianity is not so much an offshoot of Judaism. Judaism holds the belief that God, Yahweh, or Jehovah, is the creator of the universe and the Jews are His chosen people as they were a fullfillment of a promise to spread Abraham’s seed, making him the father of many nations. Jews follow the Old Testament and it is largely Historical and a solid guideline for their actions, beliefs, and customs. Jews do believe in the prophecy of a Messiah, but DO NOT believe it was the man known as Yeshua or Jesus. This is where Christians and Jews part company.

Christians also believe in Yahweh, or Jehovah the same as the Jews, but they further belive that Jesus, the Christ, was and is in fact the Son of God, born of a Virgin and sent to die on the cross for the sins of the world before he was raised again from death 3 days later. Christians are basically the the "uninvited guests" that the banquet is set before since the invited guests of the Lord’s house rejected the invitation. Many Jews believe all Christians hate them for crucifying their Lord and Savior, but this is not really the case because a real Christian does not hate, or tries not to, (Christians are still human, no matter how forgiven they are) but are incouraged to love others, as God loved them. In fact Christians are told by their Lord to not only love others but also their enemies and to spread the good news that they too can be delivered from sin by simply turning away from sin and embracing Jesus Christ as their savior/redeemer. Accepting this forgiveness and repenting of sin, and belief and following of Jesus Christ doesn’t make anyone perfect in their flesh, but in the eyes of God they are forgiven and saved from damnation which is the penalty of sin.

If you really want to get into it, I’m willing to discuss more.

Army of Darkness
May 9, 2006 at 12:53 pm

Just to add my thoughts to this religious debate:

Christianity= sucks
Judaisum= cant spell it
Hinduism= cant spell that either, though Apu from the simpsons is cool
Islam= make great pilots….
Budism= they’re cool
Jedi = now theres a religion I can follow!

Anyway, yes I am trying to offend as many people as I can, and no, I still dont understand baseball.

Loving the comic as always, I wonder what happend to Clinton….

Tinkerjeep
May 9, 2006 at 2:05 pm

Well you’re sure being mature about this, a gold star for your forehead, padawan!

And Jedi’s are a bunch of pussies…there, you started a fight – happy now?

BTW, "Jedi" was founded by a Buddhist Jew.

Munan
May 9, 2006 at 3:26 pm

Tinkerjeep wrote:
This is where Christians and Jews part company.

And then 700 years later the Muslims split off.

This is a rendition of how they told it in Qur’anschool when I was a kid:

First you had true religion 1.0, viz. judaism.
But that program was quite virus-sensitive, so there came:

True religion version 2.0, Christianity (and then 2.1, orhtodox church, 2.2, catholicism, 2.3, Lutherianism etc.).
However, that one had a major programming error, so finally

True religion version 3.0 – The truest of them all, new and improved turboversion, lo and beholds etc. etc.: ISLAM

trumpets etc. etc.

Oh well, luckily I’m not of the religious persuasion… But to each their own tastes…

Army of Darkness
May 9, 2006 at 5:26 pm

Its good to know anyone can wind up Tinkerjeep without any effort what so ever; better not mention acid proof condoms…..

Dont take it to heart, I just have little faith in ‘faiths’, the clue that they arent built on anything truelly solid is that any religion is called a faith, not a rock solid way of life, just a way of thinking and something to believe in, wether its real and believable or not. Better to have faith in yourself and use your better sense of judgement to guide you through life, not listening to some bloke in a white gown telling what to do etc etc.

Anyway, this is a comic, about aliens and predators. So keep up the good work Bernie, and rest assured that you’ve made a difference by injecting some interest into our pointless lives.

magestikdragon84
May 9, 2006 at 9:02 pm

….and the most intelligent thing I can bring to the convo was if the Jews were Ghostbuster action figures…

Tinkerjeep
May 9, 2006 at 11:59 pm

A of D…I’m not wound up…I was joking about that…Geez man, you started it, now I can’t toss in an insult about "Jedis" without seeming like I’m ranting? Kay, buh-bye.

Army of Darkness
May 10, 2006 at 12:07 pm

Let me play Devil’s advocate for a second here:
What I ment was that in order for some people to find meaning in their ultimately pointless lives (the world will end in a big firey inferno) they need to turn to faiths, to give themselves a set of codes, or believes, by which to operate. Other people try to find validation from other people, like actors etc.
In the end all I want to say is this: Whatever you do, if it makes you happy, then thats alright.
End of sermon.

Complex_Number_States
May 10, 2006 at 7:49 pm

Baseball is the only religion worth following.

I know it’s true, I saw it in a movie.

Munan
May 11, 2006 at 6:54 am

So that would make cricket a heresy?

Army of Darkness
May 11, 2006 at 3:48 pm

Na, more of a branch of the same religion, like softball, tennis or some other bat & ball related game. Bowls, now theres heresy for you; I cant think of a worse sport which needs condeming to the bowels of hell…

Complex_Number_States
May 12, 2006 at 6:33 am

The Bowls of Hell?

Quig
May 12, 2006 at 8:20 am

complexnumbers wrote:
The Bowls of Hell?

LOL :D

Good one.

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