Comments

wrincewind
October 24, 2006 at 7:44 am

woot first poster again!
seroiusly though, i don’t really get it. but i probably will in a while.
also, i can’t see what you ahve to say underneath it. i think my iternet is not working too well, because it is happening to all the comics.

Tyris
October 24, 2006 at 8:07 am

Is it meant to be about having widescreen eyes, or something to do with pirated DVDs?

hottub
October 24, 2006 at 8:09 am

Is this a "round-eyes" / "slanted eyes" thing? As in "round-eyes see everything in pan-and-scan, while slanted-eyes see everything in letter-boxed"?

Whoo-boy. I do agree with you Bernie: if you are going to try to make a racial joke, you better make sure that it is funny. Better luck next time… if there really has to be a next time…

Chloeee
October 24, 2006 at 8:20 am

LOL, I just spit milk.. AND cereal all over the kitchen table. Got a bit on my sleeve, too, but curses, I’m just too lazy to change.

I think from now on I have to come to the site after I come home from work.

Brilliant!
:x
Chloe

Linkadinka
October 24, 2006 at 8:23 am

you people are beginning to SERIOUSLY scare the shit out of me…!!

its the old ‘Widescreen’ vs ‘Pan-n-Scan’ aspect ratio conflict! There are actually COUNTLESS retards (most of whom shop at Wal-Mart) who hate widescreen because.. and I QUOTE..

"I can’t STAND those annoying black bars above & below the picture"

What they don’t realize is Pan-n-Scan cuts more then 40% of the actual frame of the scene, and often has repeated footage thru re-editting to cover a conversation that was originally intended to have multiple actors reactions simultaniously.

The very BEST tutorial I’ve ever seen was done by Leanord Nemoy on the ‘extras’ section of Star Trek IV – The Voyage Home.

He showed EXACTLY what happens when a widescreen film goes thru the ‘pan-n-scan’ (also called full frame) meatgrinder. It aint pretty folks.

Anyways.. I’m a ’round-eye’, but I still see everything widescreen… I grew up in Shitosi 8)

wrincewind
October 24, 2006 at 8:30 am

i think my television is a pan-n-scan that wants to be a widescreen. it smooshes all the… everything… into a square, so peoples faces end up reeealy tall and thin.
edit: i just found out that my television, large as it is, actually predates widescreen, and perhaps even pan and scan!

mattz1010
October 24, 2006 at 8:31 am

I have to say that

1) I’m asian
2) That was still fucking hilarious.

:\ I don’t get the benefit of widescreen view on everything, nor do I get +20% to all tests and the various other stat bonuses that [Race:Asian] gets usually, since I’m only half-asian

>_> So yeah…

Tyris
October 24, 2006 at 8:38 am

Linkadinka wrote:
you people are beginning to SERIOUSLY scare the shit out of me…!!

its the old ‘Widescreen’ vs ‘Pan-n-Scan’ aspect ratio conflict! There are actually COUNTLESS retards (most of whom shop at Wal-Mart) who hate widescreen because.. and I QUOTE..

"I can’t STAND those annoying black bars above & below the picture"

What they don’t realize is Pan-n-Scan cuts more then 40% of the actual frame of the scene[snip]

*checks own AvP dvd*

Oh, great greasy fucknuggets. I’m pretty sure it’s widescreen, but I can’t check it because it refuses to play until I turn the TV out port off… which I don’t know how to do – hell, I didn’t even know I had a TV out port. Windows Help’s no help… anyone know how I can do that?

Crimson
October 24, 2006 at 8:52 am

So that explains the black bars that I see everywhere. For all these years, I just thought it was my astigmatism, since my white friends had no idea what the hell I was talking about……

(BTW, to folks who don’t quite get it yet, the comic makes much more sense if you READ THE CAPTION ABOVE THE COMIC :lol:)

Crimson
October 24, 2006 at 8:55 am

mattz1010 wrote:
I have to say that

1) I’m asian
2) That was still fucking hilarious.

:\ I don’t get the benefit of widescreen view on everything, nor do I get +20% to all tests and the various other stat bonuses that [Race:Asian] gets usually, since I’m only half-asian

>_> So yeah…

Agreed. But as a full Asian, I do get the +20 bonus to "FINISHTESTREALLYFASTANDSTILLSCOREATLEASTAB+" but it also comes with a -2 modifier to Save vs. Resist Martial Arts Jokes.

And I can multi-class.

</geek>

TeratoMarty
October 24, 2006 at 9:40 am

Between DVD geeking and D&D references, this is by far the dorkiest thread on AlP for ages. Well done.

To add my own minor geekery- the guy whose TV aspect ratio makes everyone all tall and thin- you should be able to fix that. There will either be a switch by the input jack, or one of the more obscure menus that the remote gives you, that will let you select the ratio to use. Without seeing what you’ve got, the best advice I can give is that you futz with the settings until everyone quits looking like David Bowie.

CottonFluff
October 24, 2006 at 9:55 am

Linkadinka wrote:
…its the old ‘Widescreen’ vs ‘Pan-n-Scan’ aspect ratio conflict! There are actually COUNTLESS retards (most of whom shop at Wal-Mart) who hate widescreen because.. and I QUOTE..

"I can’t STAND those annoying black bars above & below the picture"

What they don’t realize is Pan-n-Scan cuts more then 40% of the actual frame of the scene, and often has repeated footage thru re-editting to cover a conversation that was originally intended to have multiple actors reactions simultaniously.

Good thing that there was this thread, or else I wouldn’t have gotten it at all…:roll:

I’m black (+4 racial to Intimidate and Perform: Dance checks,) I don’t shop at Wal-Mart (as I live in NYC) and I’m not particularly fond of widescreen.

I feel that it’s distracting, as you can only look at the center of the screen, and I’m not enough of a movie afficianado to tell the difference between versions outright, much less watch a movie twice to compare, (and yes, side-by-side comaprisons will show that there is a substantial difference,) or really care that much.

Besides, if you never knew it was there, are you really missing anything? :? I’m not really inclined to argue the virtues of widescreen vs pan-n-scan, I just figured I’d give my $.02. Have a great day, everyone.

Barnsey
October 24, 2006 at 10:12 am

wasnt that impressed, not even that funny today. looking forward to Fridays one tho….SPEED DATING!!! :lol:

Munan
October 24, 2006 at 10:26 am

I’m half Asian, so I’m somewhere in between that.

1st Lt. Azrael
October 24, 2006 at 10:30 am

Asians edited these movies. :P

I’m half too.

ingaffa
October 24, 2006 at 10:48 am

Beefcake is right! I’ll take a slice! :mrgreen:

Chloeee
October 24, 2006 at 11:15 am

Hey, that link wasn’t there when I checked this morning! Yummy. Although a little too hairy for my taste? I hope whoever he is he doesn’t read this.

I’m a white chick (+2 bonus to Hit Glass Ceiling), not that that’s relevant to anything, and I do rent all my movies widescreen, but I do see the appeal of fullscreen. The picture’s just bigger. Cottonfluff’s got a good point when he said do you really miss what you didn’t even know was there.

By the way, now I’m at work where my monitor’s much darker, the black letterbox bars are kind of running into the movie frame, so I can see why some people would be confused.

Still hilarious though!
:x
Chloe

Army of Darkness
October 24, 2006 at 11:34 am

Hmm, I bought a new 32" widescreen telly a few months ago, and theres a nifty little button on the remote that lets you play with the aspect ratio of the picture, so you only get a tiny black bar at the top 7 bottom of the screen. As for the "not missing out arguement"; if you saw a black bag in the street you would walk on by without giving it a second thought. If however, you had the slightest curiousity and opened it up to find $$$/£££…..
So, onwards to friday…

Robot Chicken Koko
October 24, 2006 at 11:58 am

haha, widescreen. . . I’m no Asian, but I can squint.

NotDeadYet
October 24, 2006 at 12:46 pm

Bernie – I like the variety. you moved away from the story line and spiced it up a bit. I had no problem understanding this one. I found it freaking funny. Like choking on my coffee funny. I am a white chick in NYC who works in entertainment, maybe that’s why I get it. and for all you widescreen haters: get over it, wide screen is better. it’s the way the film was shot, the way it was meant to be scene. You really get used to the black bars in like 10 minutes.

BaconNeggs
October 24, 2006 at 12:47 pm

is Bernie asian? I’ve been here more than a year and been trying to figure it out.

I have a widescreen tv, so i don’t see bars, HA!
(actually alot of movies are like hyper widescreen, I still see bars sometimes)

G-Diddy
October 24, 2006 at 1:19 pm

OMFG! Bravo Bernie!

Please exuse this, but just one little plug. Cause these guys are soooo frickin’ hilarious, and they’re from NY too.

http://www.notoriousmsg.com/home.php
(go to media -> audio) Try ‘Dim Sum Girl’ on the "Die Hungry EP" :lol:

And yes, I’m Asian. Born and raised in the Bay Area….

Crimson
October 24, 2006 at 2:04 pm

BaconNeggs wrote:
is Bernie asian? I’ve been here more than a year and been trying to figure it out.

He’s Irish.

;)

G-Diddy
October 24, 2006 at 2:21 pm

Crimson wrote:

BaconNeggs wrote:
is Bernie asian? I’ve been here more than a year and been trying to figure it out.

He’s Irish.

;)

Actually, he’s Black Irish, like Shaquille O’Neal.

Pimpman
October 24, 2006 at 3:32 pm

OH MY GOD!!!!! that is funny very stereotypical I might add great use of stereotype congrates on making my day not suck again

Army of Darkness
October 24, 2006 at 4:14 pm

G-Diddy wrote:

Crimson wrote:

BaconNeggs wrote:
is Bernie asian? I’ve been here more than a year and been trying to figure it out.

He’s Irish.

;)

Actually, he’s Black Irish, like Shaquille O’Neal.

I thought he was Welsh….. :lol:

Simon_Says
October 24, 2006 at 7:09 pm

Omfg.

Classic.

Shelax
October 24, 2006 at 8:08 pm

Hilarious. Round versus oval eyes.

AmberEyez_Proclaims
October 24, 2006 at 10:48 pm

I thought it was funny…

oh, and pass me a slice of beefcake please. I’ll take the piece with the candle on it.

Sal
October 25, 2006 at 8:51 am

Munan wrote:
I’m half Asian, so I’m somewhere in between that.

Mango wrote:
I’m half too.

so you guys see only the top black bar or the bottom one?

Barnsey
October 25, 2006 at 12:33 pm

…i wanna know what the other 420 reasons are that makes being Asian better…..

wrincewind
October 25, 2006 at 2:06 pm

Don’t we all, bansley.
Don’t we all.

Digitaaliklosetti
October 25, 2006 at 4:03 pm

Crimson wrote:

He’s Irish.

I’m pretty sure Ireland is a North Korean colony, though.

Maybe I’m slow, but I didn’t get this at first. Funny.

I can totally see the holier-than-thou fourth of the internet clogging up Hou’s inbox with an endless flood of hissy fits.

Raziel
October 25, 2006 at 6:34 pm

meh, didn’t really find it that funny myself, but there we go.

Simon_Says
October 25, 2006 at 7:08 pm

Okay… Asians can see widescreen…

But is it high-definition?

Blaster
October 25, 2006 at 10:18 pm

Damn, this one took me a while to figure out. I’ll blame sleep deprivation.

Butch
October 26, 2006 at 12:17 pm

Racist? Satyrical?

I know that my first reaction was an

"Oooohh, sheeeesh…"
followed closely by a…

"Gee, careful Bernie. Fine line and all that…"
and then both trounced by a…

"You evil satirical genius, i hope the American readers are intelligent enough to get the joke and decide NOT to home invade you…"

Butch

aninanins
October 26, 2006 at 1:01 pm

i didn’t get it… and i’m asian :D
i didn’t know if it was a reference to our chinky eyes or the widescreen itself. got confused, until i read the posts ^^

-Nina

1st Lt. Azrael
October 27, 2006 at 12:59 am

Sal Paradise wrote:

Munan wrote:
I’m half Asian, so I’m somewhere in between that.

Mango wrote:
I’m half too.

so you guys see only the top black bar or the bottom one?

Half of both actually.

Simon_Says wrote:
Okay… Asians can see widescreen…

But is it high-definition?

Only through my left eye. No really, left eye is 20/20. My right eye is 20/50. :P

A little ironic, eh? I use my right to look through scopes when I use rifles.

megabigBLUR
October 27, 2006 at 2:24 pm

Toothfairy wrote:
i didn’t get it… and i’m asian :D
i didn’t know if it was a reference to our chinky eyes or the widescreen itself. got confused, until i read the posts ^^

If eye size determined what aspect ratio/screen size you saw…I’ve known some African classmates who would be watching IMAX (please don’t kill me).

aninanins
October 28, 2006 at 7:08 am

megabigBLUR wrote:

If eye size determined what aspect ratio/screen size you saw…I’ve known some African classmates who would be watching IMAX (please don’t kill me).

lol that one i got… (please don’t kill me too)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Close this window.