Wednesday, November 14th, 2007, 1:37pm ET
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Elaine, the kids and I were out in California for a family funeral all of last week, and now I’m back just trying to catch up with life. Macy’s keeps calling me to say where’s our money bitch?! and I say we’re not getting the bills in the mail, asscrack! and they say well then pay us now and confirm your address, twatwad! and I say ok now waive that late fee, shitnose! and they do. It’s the truth – we don’t get the bills, so I can’t be expected to pay ‘em, and all the name calling does work every time to avoid paying those fees. But it’s a pain to deal with every other month. You know what I mean, whore-ass?

I’ll get to the comic-doing as soon as I can. I’m amazed that you guys keep coming everyday, at least according to my logs. Thousands and thousands of you. Especially since I just called you “whore-ass”. I owe you guys.

p.s. For clarification, the first 5 words of this post mean “the 4 of us were out in California”; it’s not me telling Elaine that I went and took the kids out to California.

^ 9 Comments...

  1. spindle

    You have my understanding and sorrow, Bernie, I know what funerals are like all too well at 16, which sucks >.<, but, your comics have been pretty good lately, and, no, YOU’RE a whore-ass :P (sorry, that’s the illegal non-medical marijuana I’m taking for medical reasons :P -my back hurts :P – )

    but, my true purpose for coming here is to praise your work so far, I’ve enjoyed these comics ever since Vrasp (an immortal on an AvP mud I got banned from a loonnng lonng time ago) spammed links to it, and I’ll continue to check in as long as there’s a promise of an update at some point in the future :P (which, currently, there is :P )

    so, keep up the good work, and feel free to completely forget what I just ranted about, I know I have :P

    oh, and I beat you guys to the first post, I guess I really am someone with no life :P

  2. Army of Darkness

    I find it funny, king B used correct english gramma n the opening line, but had to translate it into ‘simple speak’ at the end because so many feck-wits these days cant speak or read properly = :lol:
    Anyway, I feel your loss dude; my grandad is on his last legs with terminal cancer in his chest- literally has days/weeks to live, so im not really looking forward to the funeral and all that stuff; I dont fo formal occasions, make me feel very uneasy & out of place, and awkward for various reasons. My dad is pretty much spending every minute he can with the old timer, and he has always fone to visti him every sunday without fail in the past to do gardening and stuff, so he will be deeply effected when his dad passes away. Sad, but no-one lives forever…. :(

  3. mrgrooism

    I’m sorry to hear of your loss, my deepest sympathies.

    (I so wanted to say "…deepest sympathies whoreass" but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Well, not unparenthetically, anyway)

    Will you be at the Big Apple Comic Con this weekend?

  4. lol

    Screenshot or it didnt happen.

  5. Intrepyd45

    Quote:
    Elaine, the kids and I were out in California for a family funeral all of last week …

    p.s. For clarification, the first 5 words of this post mean "the 4 of us were out in California"; it’s not me telling Elaine that I went and took the kids out to California.

    It’s very simple, just remember that when listing things in a sentence that end with "and I" use a comma after each one.

    Quote:
    Elaine, the kids, and I were out in California for a family funeral all of last week …

    Oh, and I’ll forgive the "whore-ass" comment. This IS the internet after all. :P

  6. Army of Darkness

    ^^ thats even better grammer, with an explanation too. Suddeenly I suck at english by comparsion…. :oops:

  7. Christopher the Sailor

    The general problem with English grammar is that there are so many exceptions to the rules.

    The "put a comma after each element in a list" rule is one of those with an exception allowed, and it is precisely the exception that Bernie chose to use that rendered his sentence ambiguous.

    The rule actually says, "You should put a comma after each element in a list, but you don’t have to put a comma after the last element in the list, if you don’t want to."

    Weird, eh?

    BTW (and why I really went to the trouble of registering to enter this first post: Hang in there Bernie. We’re with you all the way.

  8. Grimmy

    I can also sympathize.

    MACY"S sucks @$$. really. the store sucks. the credit departmenr are a bunch of vultures who could not get their dream jobs of billing people for medical services that involve sexually transmitted diseases that their medicade would not cover.

    Grimmy
    hates Macy’s with a passion.

  9. Gilmour

    My condelences for your loss, mate.

    As for Macy’s, I know of the store, know of bills, but probably not with detail, so I’ll smile and nod, whilst saying "yeah.." waiting for a next installment.

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