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This is my OFFICIAL RESPONSE to the Mohammed cartoons controversy. Did you hear that an Iranian newpaper was holding a contest of its own for cartoons about the Holocaust? Well, my comic isn’t exactly about the Holocaust, but here I go after the Jews. Muslims, I got your back!
Did you hear that a Muslim cleric offered a $1 million bounty for the murder of one of the Danish cartoonists? Well before any of you Jews get any funny ideas to come after me for today’s comic… it’s okay, I’ve got a lot of Jewish friends who can vouch for me - essentially I’m an honorary Jew. My name is “Bernie”, even.
WELL, now, did you hear that an Israeli group announced another contest - inviting Jewish cartoonists to make anti-Semitic cartoons?
Basically it’s to show that Jews are the better sports and can make fun of themselves. I’m not sure how “anti-Semitic” they’re gonna get, but in principle, their idea just plain wins. Especially if they can make fun of the Holocaust better than the Iranian newpaper can. I’d submit today’s comic, but… I’m not really Jewish.
Anyway, other notes: this is another in a long line of IM dialogues with my pal Dean that I turned into a comic. This is 80% verbatim, and he had most of the best lines. So thanks to him - he really should have a site or blog I can link to, but DOESN’T - and thanks to Stu, whose recent foray into J-Dating was the jumping-off point for this conversation.
Here’s a link to the original scandal where it was revealed that “Hila”, a 22-year-old Israeli featured in J-Date’s ads and supposedly looking for a Jewish husband, was revealed to be Kari Gold, an 18-year-old Hungarian porn star, and “Sharon” was actually Devon Sweet, for whose picture I had to google in a strictly business-like fashion - I nearly fell asleep really - to use in this comic.
And: Orthodox Jews don’t really have marital relations through a hole in a sheet.
Jurybreak
I did get dismissed from jury duty last week after they interviewed me for 30 seconds, but after I’d sat there doing absolutely nothing for 12 hours over 2 days. I learned a lot of interesting stuff about the process from watching and listening to everything go down, and from all the folks who emailed or twittered their jury duty stories to me - thanks…
From the dark depths of my kids’ imaginations
The scariest movie I’ve ever watched with my kids is, seriously, Finding Nemo. Yet it’s like Elaine just pulls random things from my horror movie collection for them when I’m not looking, judging from the drawings that come out of their imaginations.
The 5th picture below looked to me like some sort of H.R. Giger inspired Alien; thanks to reader Wendy for pointing out it’s a dead ringer for Onyx from Pokemon.
Happy Halloween! And let’s hope you don’t see my kids on the news tonight.
Achievement Unlocked: 10 Years
Today is my 10th wedding anniversary with Elaine. That’s crazy.
We’re on our way down to a gorgeous place near New Hope, PA for our first ever weekend without the kids! I’ll be live-blogging the whole thing, especially during our fireside massages*.
Today it’s incredible outside so when we get there we’ll be doing some lakeside biking. I’m happy to see Elaine’s wearing her aLp t-shirt that she looks totally hot in.
Happy anniversary baby, I love you.
* No I won’t.
Hey my buddy Noah and I are starting an official aLp Killzone 2 clan, just for fun, just to find some more cool folks to frag around with. If we get enough people we’ll make clan-only rooms where we’ll blow each other’s heads up. If you can’t/don’t wanna join the clan, that’s cool; we can just be friends. All skill levels welcome. If you’re interested, leave a comment here or email me with your PSN ID, your email address, and where you’re from and you’ll get an invite.
The aLp fridge magnets are back in stock! The first thing I did was plaster the mini-fridge at my office (click on the photo to the left - no the pics of my kids are not for sale).
Get yours today! Or you can come see me at my table at I-Con on April 3-5, and I’ll personally hand it to you.
Thanks to everyone who submitted photos for the Be in aLp contest! Here’s the 6 winners for your pleasurable convenience…
Thanks for all the emails and Facebook messages wishing me a happy birthday on Sunday! Not only does the internet have a way of skyrocketing the number of people who want to wish you a quick happy birthday, it also (thankfully) cuts down on the number of phone calls you have to answer. No offense to my brother, my aunt, and my mother-in-law!
Just wanted to share the birthday cards my (3-year-old) kids made for me. Here’s Rachel’s - ignore the writing:
In case it’s not obvious to you, I’m the figure on the left, Rachel’s the one diagonally down from that, and Adrian’s the one on the right, fittingly with a cupcake in its mouth.
Adrian drew what looks to be a facehugger or something attacking me:
WTF.
How would you like to star in an official aLp episode?
Saw this sign today. Can anyone figure out what it means?
I’m on vacation! So I’m coming back at you next week on Tuesday! Even though I’m at peace with going this week without an update, you can go ahead and make fun of me if you want. I’m cool with it. All I know is aLp is still weekly after my week off and I’m still having fun.
I am hard at work on something - a birthday present for Elaine, who turns umpty-ump tomorrow! I’d show you what it is but there is the very, very small chance she might read this (she usually comes by only when the mailing list tells her to). All I’ll say is it does require a lot of the same activities that go into aLp. LIKE PROCRASTINATING LOLLLL
These are the two best things I got for Christmas:
Honestly I don’t know which one I love better. Joray Fruit Rolls are so good I literally almost cry when I eat them. They’re better than sex, at least in that they’re a whole lot cheaper to have 6 at a time. Thank you Elaine, for getting them for me, and also for forgiving me for that last sentence.
So yeah I got a PS3 too, which is really not good for getting anything done. I’m playing Prince of Persia right now, though it looks like LittleBigPlanet’s on the horizon. When I get a PSN ID, I’ll let you all know what it is, unless, like photos of me wearing my suit made of Joray Fruit Rolls, it’s something that should be kept private.
Reminder, follow me on Twitter which I seem to be able to update kinda frequently, and become a fan of aLp on Facebook, if for no other reason than all the cool people are doing it.
AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
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Alien vs. PredatorTM © 2008 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. Alien and Predator toys © 2008 McFarlane Toys and TMP International, Inc. Other imagery, concept and writing © 2008 Bernie Hou. |
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